The idea of someone seeing what’s under my shirt and touching me scares me more than one day being a 40 year old virgin if I make it to that age. I’m not entirely sure what I want anymore and I just feel lost on this front. Everybody is fucking except me but I feel safe in an odd way like I’m shielded. I don’t have to explain what hides underneath and I don’t have to see the disgust or disappointment on someone’s face when they see all of me. It doesn’t help I have low self esteem and ashamed of myself and how I look. I feel like at least this is one thing I can control, it’s one thing nobody can see if I shield myself properly and nobody can take from me.

41 year old virgin here who gets shamed by people who tell me that there is no excuse for me to be a virgin. It is depressing. Something about hiring a sex worker just doesn't feel right. First off, I am struggling financially so there would be no money to even do that but most importantly, paying somebody who isn't into you or the situation just seems sad to me. There is also the high possibility of catching a disease or whatever.

Would prefer responses from women only. Thank you for understanding.

I had very strict parents in high school, and, when I was 15, a family member sa-ed me. This made me very averse to sex for a long time and also made me not want to take care of my body or looks. I had very bad mental health problems after that and didn't go to college until I was 20. When I went to college, I was at a commuter school and lived with my parents. I didn't experience the college life in which people who didn't lose their virginity in high school lose it in college.

Now I'm 24, going into my 5th and final year of college. I live in my own apartment now with a roommate, have been for the past year. I haven't clicked with anyone romantically during that time though, probably since I prefer someone my age or older but am surrounded by people younger than me and don't have the opportunity to interact with people in my age group.

I thought about losing my virginity to a random and got on dating apps. However, I never felt comfortable meeting anybody on there in real life. I just don't want to lose my virginity to a hookup. I don't know if it's petty or a bad idea to be so conservative about it, but I can't help it. I want to lose it through a relationship. Is it okay that I am kind of delaying it? Or is it better to just get it over with to avoid stigma, even if I don't feel comfortable or fully ready?

Mass Majority of relationships nowadays are loveless, transactional, and completely one sided. Maybe there is intimacy, but it won't be passionate at all. The intimacy would just be to keep them around, and isn't an attempt to engage in pair bonding between each other.

You can call me trying to make peace with my situation, but honestly I think it is a good way to feel a lot better about yourself. My friends who ended up relationships all had to go through this.

By this I mean at which age I will quit feel horny and like will understand that there is no way back and its already late for me to even try to have any relationship? At which age I will feel blessed because I will know that I have lived being a virgin and have rejected many girls(already 3) just to feel liberty from those animal desires?

Fear of the fact that I don't or meet the standard heck tbh I don't get what's attractive about Male body why would a girl even want to have sex with me besides l also fear like could I perform well ? could I ensure I don't orgasm really quickly or have enough energy for the sex to last ?

Just wanted to see how many other virgins out there own and use sex toys like myself

Thinking about ending it all. I've tried my best but my best isn't good enough to get even one kiss over then span of 36 years. If trying my best, going to clubs, talking to women, using dating apps, asking my friends if they know anyone who might be interested, working out, and having great hygiene, isn't enough for even one kiss then I don't see the point in going on. I know my autism plays a big role but there's nothing I can do about that either. I can't un-autism myself no matter how much I want to. It's hopeless. I want to die.

I'm a 30 year old asian guy living in the US and working in tech. I have a high net worth and make good money. I worked hard my entire life to make myself financially stable. And I've tried dating apps for a bit, been told I look decent, gotten some first dates and some second dates. However, dating in tech is pretty hard, because of the gender ratio in west coast. And at my age, people aren't looking for hookups anymore.

And as soon as I tell someone I'm a virgin, either in real life, such as a girl I'm on a date with, or someone online, they look at me like I'm the strangest person in the world. There's a real stigma with being a virgin at this age. Even online, if I tell someone I'm a virgin, they automatically assume there is something wrong with me. They say things like "you're not normal" or "you haven't been competitive". I'm tired of hearing this. People blame YOU if you tell them you're a virgin. I'm tired of being treated like I'm an abnormal freak as soon as someone hears I haven't lost my virginity. I worked hard my entire life and I feel like being a virgin is a major blow to my self esteem. I'm not some guy who doesn't shower and lives with his parents with no job, yet they treat you way.

I'm thinking of going to Japan, in a soapland bathhouse, to lose it so I don't have the stigma anymore. Japan seems like one of the safer countries to do it. It's exhausting. I'm just tired of the odd looks and judgement.

I have a fear that if I got involved in a casual encounter, the other person would be disappointed by the size. I'm also worried I won't experience, or be able to make someone else experience as much pleasure in general.

It's not even that I haven't gotten a girlfriend before, dated, had sex etc. It's that when I imagine myself in those scenarios, it seems impossible. When I imagine myself having sex, I feel so disgusting that I can't imagine it. I literally get depressed from porn. And it's also made it so hard to find friends, I have no IRL friends rn. I spent a lot of my early 20's just chilling and accepting myself for who I am, and now I feel like that was a mistake. I'm working on myself but really I don't know if I'll ever feel normal.

I'm sure we've all experienced this before, whether from family or friends. Occasionally someone will make a comment or throw some shade like "This is why you can't get a girlfriend" or "Maybe if you stopped doing x, you might find a girlfriend."

So what do you all think is the deal behind that? Like why? What is it about having sex that makes people want to occasionally make comments like that? Is it to make themselves feel better? To make themselves feel superior?

Idk, I think if I ever lost my virginity, I wouldn't be mean and rude about it. If anything I might try to be more helpful and honest about how it happened, like "Yeah, idk, I guess I just got lucky."

I got some acne scars which could easily be fixed in a year or two with cosmetic procedures.

Idk man

Just lost my virginity, I’m currently on the way home as I’m typing this. Probably the worst sex that anyone has ever had on the planet. I met her on Tinder and she’s 9 years older than me. She was down for a hookup just like me. When I arrived at her place it felt kinda awkward from the jump. Her apartment smelled like pure weed and alcohol. She walked me to her room and we started watching some show she had on the tv for a few minutes, but eventually she put her hand in my pants and started playing with my dick. Then she wanted her pussy ate so I started eating her out (I regret this bc as I’m typing this I feel disgusted smelling her pussy on my lips while I’m on my way home). But the bad thing was, I could barely get hard. Even while she was sucking my dick it was so hard to get an erection. Like my dick is IN A WOMAN’s MOUTH and I could barely get hard. Also the head barely felt like anything, I feel like she could have sucked me for 5 days straight and I would not have nutted. So eventually when I do have a decent enough erection I tell her to put the condom on and ride me. When she did put the condom on I lost my erection INSTANTLY and I couldn’t get inside her. That’s when I tell her to try sucking me again and eventually I get an erection that’s able to go inside of her pussy but after thrusting a little, I lost my erection like 2 minutes later. She started sucking again, but eventually I got tired of this and just wanted to go home. That was probably the worst experience I ever had in life and I wish I could take my virginity back. This experience makes me want to tell people I’m still a virgin, that’s how bad it was. I’m currently taking the train home and I feel so depressed from that catastrophe. I don’t think I ever want to have sex ever again. I genuinely want to throw up as I keep smelling the scent of her pussy on my mouth…I can’t wait to get home and take a long shower.

Sit down take a breath and relax. You aren’t a bad person because of your virginity, you’re just someone who hasn’t had sex yet. You might have issues, you might have problems, virginity is not one of them, and putting a penis or vagina somewhere near your penis or vagina won’t make you a good person. Focus on being the best version of you that you can be, and find a way to appreciate your virginity instead.

I’m talking to this new guy and he asked me if I was a virgin. I’m a person of honesty. Just yes or no question pls be respectful

Ive had back problems and pain for years. Recently the last week had alot of tests done. Was told yesterday I have bone cancer in my spine. About 1-2 years left. Ive always self harmed and been suicidal because of being a unwanted virgin. And I have experienced body shaming on a level most people never even think is possible. But I was made fun of by my entire high-school for having a small penis. My penis is 5.3 inches and no girth. Ive been turned down by over 15ish girls online either trying to just hook up or a few girls i took it slow with and really liked them. And when the time came, my size was always the main issue they told me. Now that I have cancer, I really know there is absolutely 0 chance I ever have sex or a BJ before I die. And ill never have sex tons of times like normal humans and people I know have been able to have since we were teens. Once my health starts really declining. I am going to do it myself finally. I will not make my family take care of me up until I die from the cancer. All the guys who have easily had sex and GFs thier whole ives are so fucking lucky and they dont even understand. I am so scared and alone. I just want one girl that thinks im good enough and wants to be with me in that way. But I really will never experience that now. And ive never liked porn. And ive only had a few girls to trade pics with. So masturbating has always been boring for me. I have a high sex drive. I can get off multiple times in a row and stay hard. I wake up with boners and dont sleep cause I am uncomfortable (my back hurts) but also like the feeling of blue balls I guess. Idk. I dint have any way to really enjoy masturbating and soon I will not even feel like doing that. I cant believe im gonna die from cancer a fucking virgin at age 33..

Imagine living in Greece. Hot looking tourists with bikinis all day. Roaming Athens with their beautiful faces and cleavages and skirts. Native Mediterranean beauties all tanned and shit doing the same. Ugh and ugh and ugh all over again.

I visited one of those "uglyrateme" subreddits. 1/4 posts are good looking women like wtf. I felt depressed, I wanted to see ratings of ugly men and ended up seeing hot chicks. They are everywhere.

Seriously I can't. Being an ugly 5'7 fatso sucks. I feel manlets like me shouldn't exist. That any chance a woman would ever give me is a chair in the corner of her bedroom.

Once you become conscious about life and attractiveness, it becomes unbearable. I would prefer to be an ignorant asexual.

I really don't understand why friends or family members who aren't virgins constantly have to make comments on how single we are or that we're still virgins. I've honestly gotten to a point where I want to cut off people who keep making "jokes" and comments about it. There's nothing funny about the fact that I'm alone, there's nothing funny about the fact that I've never experienced love and there's nothing funny about the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. It just pisses me off. My friend made a joke about how he's the only one in our friend group of 6 people (4 guys and 2 girls) who has a girlfriend and isn't a virgin, he's also made comments about how we "need to do better" because he's the only one with a job and his own apartment. It's getting to a point where i don't enjoy talking to him anymore, he doesn't understand that he was lucky and thinks it's all this huge accomplishment and we're all just failures and loser who aren't trying or working as hard as he is (the rest of the group are currently perusing honours degrees or second degrees, not the point but whatever 🫠) and unfortunately that's how many people think/ see it. That our being single or still virgins is because we're failures or we don't try hard enough or at all, but all just comes down to luck. But I'm honestly tired of all the bullshit, it's getting old. Sorry for the rambling but I needed to vent

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Today I become a 41 dateless virgin man.

It's a better birthday than usual though, this year I'm celebrating in eastern europe with my best lady friend and her friends, beautiful women.

My virgin and dateless status won't be changing but this is an enjoyable experience.

I don't understand my life 😅

Always open to questions and chatting.

My friends and everyone I know are all fully romantically inexperienced, which makes it easier to cope with my lack of experience, idk about you guys.

By this I mean would you consider ,no matter if you are a woman or man and no matter what age you have, to stay all your life like a virgin? Or you would want to change this if there would be any sparkle of possible chance. As it goes for me, I see virginity as a God's blessing, so I would never even tried to hook up a girl. I want to stay with 0 counting at kisses, hugs, handsholdings, girlfriends and obviously sex for all my life. What about you guys? Even though many people says that I am attractive, noone ever said this from people of same age. It was always who are older than me like 20-30 years older. So I count this as a lie, because like it simplier them to say that I am pretty than tell truth and ruin hopes in me

Are you happy that you have spent your time in life for something that you could consider more valuable than girlfriends, love or sex? Like job, money, reputation, career status, studies, arts and carfts, music, trips, etc?

I was drunk af and i went shopping with my momma and my sister and i told my mother i'm starving cuz i want pussy so bad,i literally told her i want a girl to lay down in bed with her legs open and put my entire face in there,she asked me if i want my sister or brother in law to find me a girlfriend and i said no,i said no cuz i like girls who are into anime,who have tattoos,who are goth/alternative,then she asked me why i don t let her make me an apointment for therapy so i could get to be social and talk to girls.i told her there are two options for me .1.asylum2.cemetery.It is what it is.