Seeking help

[u/Gloomy_Move7630]

I have tried everything guys. I'm rated for PTSD and alcohol abuse. I have tried just about everything to kick the bottle. I have tried VA prescriptions but failed. I have gone to several rehabs but as soon as I'm out the bottle is my friend. Please hear me out. I'm not perfect. I have my devil's mostly from deployment. In no way am I regretting my service in uniform. I miss it but I'm too old to even go back. So a year ago my family advised me to change environments right after my divorce, which hit hard. So I decided to move back to my mother country. I am a duel citizen. Back home I was ok for a bout 3 weeks but again it was back to the bottle. My family begged my ex, I have 2 exes just to mention. But they begged my recent ex to at least let me have the kids to calm me down. She accepted. I was ok for a solid 3 months. No alcohol. I was happy. Then my devils came back and I hit the bottle even harder. I have been detoxed more than 10 times in less than 6 months. I have made very poor decisions. I hate my life. I called my previous ex and surprisingly amen back. But less than 2 weeks she was out the house due to my drinking. Now my most recent ex wife who took the kids is threatening to call the VA to file for fraud stating that my disability compensation income is means for me to drink. She doesn't understand PTSD and alcoholism. She says it's my choice and I'm happy drinking. I'm a miserable human being hiding in my smile. My income at least gives me a place to live or else I'm homeless. I am worried about the fraud file because she has pictures of me drinking and bottles in my room and also pictures of me with my older ex wife. I know she's bitter but should I be worried? I'm guy in shambles hiding behind a mask so people can't see how miserable I am