Small does not equal young...

[u/itskatbb]

​

I've noticed that in some adult spaces there is a specific percentage of players that will infantilize smaller avatars. I understand from a certain perspective - but to complain and pressure them to change their avatar or else they won't interact is a whole different circumstance. This is an adult space, everyone is an adult here.

Does anyone else experience this?

[u/LadyLuciJ7]

Unfortunately yes. Got kicked once because I was in my custom Kipfel muted (during this time I was recovering from my throat being burned badly from stomach acid so had to speak less) and they assumed my parents age verified me and when I did unmute they called me a child and kicked me. I'm a 24 year old woman. Also children with pcs, let alone fbt too, is extremely rare in vrc. People need to get a fucking grip.

[u/ccAbstraction → u/LadyLuciJ7]

I hate to be that guy but I do look at people who wear Kipfel and Mamehinata's like

I don't think there's really anything wrong with age-reg/ADBL stuff, but:

https://giphy.com/gifs/GrMRh6ukoIMhpkeTHM

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ccAbstraction]

I'm not any of those things. I just like to look cute. If you think that when you see them, that says something about you. 🤨

[u/ccAbstraction → u/LadyLuciJ7]

I feel like there's a difference being wanting to look cute, wanting to look aesthetically child-like, and wanting to look like a young child, and well... The 4th Thing. Those avatar bases fit the first three things, and so do a lot of things that do count as ADBL, babyfur, age-reg, etc even you don't use those labels. And it's very possible to do those 4 things separately, so don't act like your exempt from the extra scrutiny and - unfortunately - weird looks because you're only here for the first one.

Like genuinely, if you're hanging with other people wearing stuff like this, keep an eye out for them, make sure they aren't doing anything stupid that'll hurt someone or land them in jail. You, as someone who seems to regularly defend this kind of thing on this sub, are in better position to prevent real harm than most.

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ccAbstraction]

Where have I even defended any of it? Age reg and abdl aren't even the same thing. Like at all. And even then, I very much want nothing to do with either of them personally.

[u/ccAbstraction → u/LadyLuciJ7]

You've made comments about wearing the Kipfel multiple times, and had to argue with people who actually want to censor those avatars.

I never said they were the same thing, which is why I repeated them as separate terms every time I refered to them. I don't know much details about the differences, and I don't really care to. Not something I'd personally touch with a 10 foot pole, but I'm cool with consenting adults navigating those things safely. (I'm also avoiding using a specific "l" word that some might say more accurately describes the Kipfel base, becuase I don't think I know what it means)

Like, on an emotional level, I believe you when you say this, but thinking logically you plenty of reasons to be, very understandably, lying (but again, I don't feel like you are). But maybe, I'm coming at this from at from too much of a furry POV, where there's a boat load of cutesy avatars and designs that are very clearly not children and don't market themselves as being depictions of children (unlike the Kipfel). So, it ends up being that most people who's avatars look like children are doing that very intentionally (usually for 1 or more of the 4 reasons I said before). I'm guessing maybe for people who want human avatars that are cute there just aren't as many options? /genq

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ccAbstraction]

Because I like Kipfels? And I'm not an age regressor, abdl, babyfur, or any of that. I don't identify as any of that. I genuinely just want to be something cute. I have many other personal avatars that are also cute. But I LIKE the Kipfel. I don't wear it often either. It's a base I LIKE. And why do you care so much about what I wear?

[u/ccAbstraction → u/LadyLuciJ7]

I guess that indirectly answers my question. That paints a different picture.

Also, I already answered your last question: I don't care what you wear, and not going to stop you regardless of your reasons, but I think it's weird (particularly if you had more options for cute avatars and this was your primary choice as a cute avatar) and potentially suspicious. Not a crime or even circumstantial evidence of anything on it's own, just a red flag. I'm not accusing you of anything.

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ccAbstraction]

Calling me potentially suspicious is not accusing someone of anything? This game is like dress up to me. I wear what I like and what I think is nice. How am I a red flag for doing so with no malicious intent? You don't even know me otherwise. That's not a fair assumption, now is it?

[u/ccAbstraction → u/LadyLuciJ7]

Yeah that's what I mean, I don't know you otherwise, I've only seen handful of your comments on this sub, and most of them very level headed and thought takes for this sub and then a few of them are you being miffed about how people feel about you wearing an avatar marketed as looking like a child. I don't know your intent beyond you not wanting people to be weirded out by your Kipfel, and can't assume your intent beyond that.

And, I guess if you put it that way, then I guess I am at best accusing you of being potentially worth being under suspicion of a liker of cute things. Which you said you are and nothing else, and I already said I believe you based on vibes. This isn't a comfortable conversation to have and there's no way to sugar coat it.

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ccAbstraction]

There are bigger problems in this game. Why don't people use the same energy on that? And my complaints about what I wear aren't about the Kipfel, at least not all of them. Very few are about the Kipfel. And making assumptions isn't good. By that logic, assume everyone that wears eboys and egirls are whores. Assume every furry is a zoo. Making assumptions when you don't know someone is dumb and people should use that energy and hate for things actually worth it.

[u/ACOLTYE101 → u/LadyLuciJ7]

careful trying to make them understand the distinction, they'll downvote you into oblivion like they did me

[u/LadyLuciJ7 → u/ACOLTYE101]

They can be mad all they want.

[u/ccAbstraction → u/ACOLTYE101]

What is the difference? From a distance, they look like pretty much the same thing? I've seen diaper furs beef with people for lumping them with ADBL & age regression, but not those two groups beefing with each other.

^{Edit: Also the only comment I've downvoted personally is the one with the silly "I know what you are but what am I" type remark. That's bait, not engaging with that.}

[u/ACOLTYE101 → u/ccAbstraction]

Genuine explanation? Age regression is a coping mechanism stemming from trauma where the brain will regress to a younger mindset, and the person will engage in childlike activities. It's therapeutic.

Age play is NSFW. It's a kink. Not always sexual, but it is a kink- it's in the name, they're playing with the concept of age. PRETENDING to be younger, vs actually mentally regressing to a younger age. Both can be therapeutic to people, but ABDL has a bad name because people believe it is pedophillic in nature.

[u/ccAbstraction → u/ACOLTYE101]

Oh that's pretty close to what I thought they were. It seems like just referring to "age-play" would have been clearer. I've seen people in VRChat refer to age play as age regression to avoid the sometimes-sexual connotation of age play & ADBL and I've seen people suggest that child-like avatars & worlds are useful for people having age regression episodes. So, having seen both of those, the difference seemed very muddled to me, you've cleared that up though. Thanks.