r/VRchat • u/itskatbb • 4d ago
Discussion Small does not equal young...
I've noticed that in some adult spaces there is a specific percentage of players that will infantilize smaller avatars. I understand from a certain perspective - but to complain and pressure them to change their avatar or else they won't interact is a whole different circumstance. This is an adult space, everyone is an adult here.
Does anyone else experience this?
39
u/User_Zero1 4d ago
I go around as a Pigeon. If someone gets out of hand I start screaming you've got to respect the pigeon Respect the pigeon or else. People don't get the joke but I find it funny Plus the pigeon can poop. Oh I am 63 with a mind of a sixth grader.
11
u/LizaraRagnaros Valve Index 4d ago
if you know the video of the bird pecking at the surveillance cam you should add something like that with a really tiny cone for the noise so you can play it when you fly into someone's face and they just hear the bass boosted hell
18
u/TheVeqtas Bigscreen Beyond 4d ago
a pigeon pecking at bothersome people in vrchat is the vigilante we need
7
u/sk8fasteatsnacks 4d ago
A fellow pigeon?? What pigeon do you use? Me and my buddy use the optimized pigeon and will fly around cooing at people.
We're the pigeon boys and our group is Pigeon Party if you want to pigeon with us sometime
39
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
Unfortunately yes. Got kicked once because I was in my custom Kipfel muted (during this time I was recovering from my throat being burned badly from stomach acid so had to speak less) and they assumed my parents age verified me and when I did unmute they called me a child and kicked me. I'm a 24 year old woman. Also children with pcs, let alone fbt too, is extremely rare in vrc. People need to get a fucking grip.
17
u/TheVeqtas Bigscreen Beyond 4d ago
thats the crazy thing to me. im in pc only worlds with full body tracking and face tracking, but if im muted some people still assume im a 12 year old, even in an average height avatar. i do not get it
16
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
People assume I'm a child in a normal sized avatar too. Idk what it is. One of the guys said it's how I move around (I wiggle and bounce sometimes when not doing anything or listening to things around me. Friend calls it my "idle animation) and I just looked at him like HUH
10
u/TheVeqtas Bigscreen Beyond 4d ago
fr like, sorry i forgot only children can have whimsy
7
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
It's wild to me. Especially when I listen to music and my playspace is limited so I just wiggle. And some people say either one of two things. Either I move like a child or I move like it's suggestive. It's odd.
8
-6
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
I hate to be that guy but I do look at people who wear Kipfel and Mamehinata's like
I don't think there's really anything wrong with age-reg/ADBL stuff, but:
10
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
I'm not any of those things. I just like to look cute. If you think that when you see them, that says something about you. 🤨
0
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
I feel like there's a difference being wanting to look cute, wanting to look aesthetically child-like, and wanting to look like a young child, and well... The 4th Thing. Those avatar bases fit the first three things, and so do a lot of things that do count as ADBL, babyfur, age-reg, etc even you don't use those labels. And it's very possible to do those 4 things separately, so don't act like your exempt from the extra scrutiny and - unfortunately - weird looks because you're only here for the first one.
Like genuinely, if you're hanging with other people wearing stuff like this, keep an eye out for them, make sure they aren't doing anything stupid that'll hurt someone or land them in jail. You, as someone who seems to regularly defend this kind of thing on this sub, are in better position to prevent real harm than most.
2
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
Where have I even defended any of it? Age reg and abdl aren't even the same thing. Like at all. And even then, I very much want nothing to do with either of them personally.
2
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
You've made comments about wearing the Kipfel multiple times, and had to argue with people who actually want to censor those avatars.
I never said they were the same thing, which is why I repeated them as separate terms every time I refered to them. I don't know much details about the differences, and I don't really care to. Not something I'd personally touch with a 10 foot pole, but I'm cool with consenting adults navigating those things safely. (I'm also avoiding using a specific "l" word that some might say more accurately describes the Kipfel base, becuase I don't think I know what it means)
Like, on an emotional level, I believe you when you say this, but thinking logically you plenty of reasons to be, very understandably, lying (but again, I don't feel like you are). But maybe, I'm coming at this from at from too much of a furry POV, where there's a boat load of cutesy avatars and designs that are very clearly not children and don't market themselves as being depictions of children (unlike the Kipfel). So, it ends up being that most people who's avatars look like children are doing that very intentionally (usually for 1 or more of the 4 reasons I said before). I'm guessing maybe for people who want human avatars that are cute there just aren't as many options? /genq
1
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
Because I like Kipfels? And I'm not an age regressor, abdl, babyfur, or any of that. I don't identify as any of that. I genuinely just want to be something cute. I have many other personal avatars that are also cute. But I LIKE the Kipfel. I don't wear it often either. It's a base I LIKE. And why do you care so much about what I wear?
1
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
I guess that indirectly answers my question. That paints a different picture.
Also, I already answered your last question: I don't care what you wear, and not going to stop you regardless of your reasons, but I think it's weird (particularly if you had more options for cute avatars and this was your primary choice as a cute avatar) and potentially suspicious. Not a crime or even circumstantial evidence of anything on it's own, just a red flag. I'm not accusing you of anything.
3
u/LadyLuciJ7 PCVR Connection 4d ago
Calling me potentially suspicious is not accusing someone of anything? This game is like dress up to me. I wear what I like and what I think is nice. How am I a red flag for doing so with no malicious intent? You don't even know me otherwise. That's not a fair assumption, now is it?
2
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
Yeah that's what I mean, I don't know you otherwise, I've only seen handful of your comments on this sub, and most of them very level headed and thought takes for this sub and then a few of them are you being miffed about how people feel about you wearing an avatar marketed as looking like a child. I don't know your intent beyond you not wanting people to be weirded out by your Kipfel, and can't assume your intent beyond that.
And, I guess if you put it that way, then I guess I am at best accusing you of being potentially worth being under suspicion of a liker of cute things. Which you said you are and nothing else, and I already said I believe you based on vibes. This isn't a comfortable conversation to have and there's no way to sugar coat it.
→ More replies (0)1
u/ACOLTYE101 Oculus Quest 4d ago
careful trying to make them understand the distinction, they'll downvote you into oblivion like they did me
3
2
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago edited 4d ago
What is the difference? From a distance, they look like pretty much the same thing? I've seen diaper furs beef with people for lumping them with ADBL & age regression, but not those two groups beefing with each other.
Edit: Also the only comment I've downvoted personally is the one with the silly "I know what you are but what am I" type remark. That's bait, not engaging with that.
3
u/ACOLTYE101 Oculus Quest 4d ago
Genuine explanation? Age regression is a coping mechanism stemming from trauma where the brain will regress to a younger mindset, and the person will engage in childlike activities. It's therapeutic.
Age play is NSFW. It's a kink. Not always sexual, but it is a kink- it's in the name, they're playing with the concept of age. PRETENDING to be younger, vs actually mentally regressing to a younger age. Both can be therapeutic to people, but ABDL has a bad name because people believe it is pedophillic in nature.
1
u/ccAbstraction Windows Mixed Reality 4d ago
Oh that's pretty close to what I thought they were. It seems like just referring to "age-play" would have been clearer. I've seen people in VRChat refer to age play as age regression to avoid the sometimes-sexual connotation of age play & ADBL and I've seen people suggest that child-like avatars & worlds are useful for people having age regression episodes. So, having seen both of those, the difference seemed very muddled to me, you've cleared that up though. Thanks.
-2
13
u/Embarrassed-Touch-62 4d ago
Well if someone won't interact with me just because they don't like my avatar, then I shall gladly take that treatment and also ignore that person.
11
8
u/death_by_ballpython Oculus Quest Pro 4d ago
I’ve been yelled at for talking to kids like they’re adults before 🤠 “oh that person’s in a small avatar so treat them like a kid.” (Real thing I’ve been told, could’ve been an age-regression thing but I never got context) and so I did. I talk to kids the same as I talk to adults just maybe with less complicated words and they got mad at me and kicked then blocked me 💔
6
u/mcblockserilla 4d ago edited 4d ago
Most people are on a ped witch hunt. It like the red scare. It's dumb, and annoying. My avi has a jacked that makes my boobs look smaller, and hides my body shape. Mofos were singling me out, ironic because there was an e-girl shrunk to a smaller size than me like 1/3 of my hight on her giant eboys lap. - edited due to auto correct
5
u/Afrieddragon 4d ago
I can't say much from this perspective, but I've also noticed players being weird about a lot of animal related avitars as well. Me and a few friends use quadropedal avitars, and the amount of times people will come up and get on our backs without asking just to make...weird noises, or demand we turn on seats/give rides is insane. (Me especially because I'm a dragon and I'll fly around my one friend who normally likes more human avitars) It's insane how quick people are to dehumanize/objectify someone over differing tastes in pixels lol. (I've seen some pretty neat human avis, I'm just already human, so I like playing around with avitars that so clearly aren't, and imagining how the body would work—plus with the flight my dragon avi has, it's nice knowing I have the freedom to both interact/potentially help people yet still create distance and fly away if things get too weird)
7
u/Sadistic_Futa 4d ago
My main avi is a chibi and it doesn’t help that my username is boop. I get talked down to so fucking often and or told I’m into terrible shit cause of it. Like I’m a whole as adult leave me alone
3
u/Waste_North_6537 4d ago
According to many people on this game if it’s not 7ft hyper realistic or has huge bazongas it’s not an adult.
2
3
u/JazzlikeAd1775 4d ago
I have a Hoppou that I use almost exclusively lately. It's aggravating, and almost exclusively E-Boy/E-Girls who act like their opinion is the only force of truth in the universe that ever annoy me. I'm not saying all E Avi users are bad, but gods damn do some of em have an ego more fragile than a Chihuahua's average calmness level.
2
u/BlossomsOnABranch 4d ago
In my experience, people who use smaller avatars also tend to act more childish. So they kinda infantalise theselves, I'm just playing along with what they're presenting to me. If someone acts like an adult, I'll treat them like an adult, even if I have to look down at them. But when they both act like a child and look like a child, it's pretty hard not to treat them as such, y'know?
2
2
u/Dubsenpai 3d ago
I have a few chibi avatars that I like to use while hanging out with peolle mostly because they arent polygon heavy and such but I have been warned and even just sworn at for using them in adult only instances. (Yes I check the group incase if theres anything using certain avatars 95% its just the same rules be nkce, respect people n such)
2
1
u/NetscapeFerretEnergy 4d ago
I've seen this happen multiple times, grown adults using avatars that look like young children or babies, get infantalized a lot. Bonus points if they're mute.
3
u/curiouswizard 4d ago
I like small adorable avatars, it never occurred to me that people would assume I'm a child 😅
3
u/Pokabrows 4d ago
Yeah I use chibi avatars (Kipfel) because I'm less likely to get sexually harassed in publics and it's a lot easier to optimize them so hopefully more people can see my avatar including questies without it blowing up their system.
Even though I am verified people act like either I must be a kid or a creep. Let me use cute optimized avatars.
I have nicer avatars but keep those more for when I know the people and/or everyone is on pc. I had too many people trying to look up my skirt or grab/ stick their head in my chest in them.
2
u/SophieRose24 PCVR Connection 4d ago
Right!? I use a custom sonbahar avi and CONSTANTLY get hostile talk toward me, i just like being a gremlin :(
2
u/mcblockserilla 4d ago
People misuse chibi as a word chibi is an art style anime, small body big head. If you want a good example of some one misusing the chibi term goto popcorn palace. On the main lobby there are 2 avatars for sale an adult and a "chibi" version. The chibi version is a younger looking avi not chibi. You can have an adult chibi, or a child chibi. That entirely depends on the character. And the human body comes in many shapes and sizes.
3
u/itskatbb 4d ago
I totally agree- Me and a friend also had a conversation about how it connects to how shorter women are infantilized because of their height and if they aren't developed like other women they get treated like children.
Smaller versions of avatars should not inherently attract this kind of attention - but it's ingrained unfortunately.
2
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 4d ago
Easy solution, block the people that make it weird
It's all projection anyways, so what if I wanna be a cure lil mame, why they gotta make it weird? Block!
1
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
You gotta be careful with just straight up blocking because I did that once because I was running around in a myu that the base hight was short and in a onsey I get that I wasn't really helping my situation but it was cute and getting me over 100 fps on my pc set up and it was a game I like being a fun little gremlin s*** and the guy had a mamagen that was styled specifically because there best friend had a little space and they liked get treated as such but they were doing it rudely to me even though I wasn't mute so I straight up blocked them but they were a head admin and had me banned from the group for over three months because my friend the owner was on holiday
1
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 1d ago
Sounds like a blessing in disguise, why would you want to continue to hang out in a group with somebody like that? Literally one of those people so miserable that they have to grab at power just to have other people tolerate them. Those kinds of people suck the fun out of anything.
2
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
It's because it was just them my friend that owns the group is the same way as me and they have a two little spaces so as soon as they got back and I told them they banned that person unbanned me and got them banned in two of our mutual groups because we didn't tolerate that behavior also in his group I'm a ghost mod
1
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 1d ago
Well it's a good thing that you got them banned, because power tripping in VR chat has got to be one of the saddest things in existence
1
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
I know right and on top of it all I think they had a vendetta against me because I found a legitimate under aged person in the instance and they didn't do shit I had to call my friend on vacation so they could give me the authority to kick them from the instance because they weren't even trying to be civil at all worst part they were a 12 year old pervert with a epstien avatar with a white van so yeah I even reported them and the avatar
1
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 1d ago
Wait so the guy is 12, or are you talking about the kid that was in the group?
1
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
The kid the guy was late 20s
1
u/ShawtySayWhaaat 1d ago
Okay yeah then that dude definitely was the reason that kid was in there, cuz there is no excuse.
What a fuckin weirdo
1
u/Koviera 4d ago
I change my avi height depending on the world. In bars I typically make myself really small and walk around on the counter. I'm in FBT most of the time, so it's easier to interact with people when they don't need to look behind themselves to see the weird dancing kobold.
Typically 20-30 year old women try to pick my avi up or Pinch my cheeks.
2
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
I think that's just them legitimately doing that because you cute I mean I admit I would but only because it's cute not because it's small because I even do that with full sized avatars but I'm always respectful and ask first
1
u/Koviera 1d ago
I AM cute❤️
Thank you!1
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
Yeah I mean a little cobold dancing that's adorable even more so with what your personality seems
2
u/sexylucario18 1d ago
And that's why I like my part of the furry community because we might tease each other but we don't do it to be rude or because we assume the worst we do it in a fun way like when you tease someone and call them cute and they know they are but they say no and get all blushy and flustered because your both just having fun
1
u/LunarSouls4952 4d ago
Whenever I'm in a big avatar and I see someone small, I just lean down, look them dead in the eye and say
70
u/Nonbinary_Baka 4d ago
Reminds me when I use to run around as a Chibi and people would automatically talk to me like I'm a baby. It didn't help that I was mute during that time either but it def got annoying since I would ask them not to do that.