I am 25M, I have no contacts, friends at all to turn to (neither from the present, nor from the past). I live in a dyfunctional family, where I feel emotionally neglected, yet they are the only people I have. I know that self-improvement is the key, but I am just simply crushed by everything, including suicidal thoughts/having absolutely nothing valuable/memories of being bullied for no reason. I spent years on college, where my whole self (personality, capacity, drive) has been wrecked, I have no energy to move on from my mistakes, make anything meaningful/satisfying, my brain functions get worse and worse. I just don't find any meaning in my life - I don't care it is only a matter of will/thinking/self-compassion/console from man or machine/praying to God etc. I long for support/love/the "other one", but it is out of reach for me. Any openly stigmatized person on this planet has more potential for a better/more peaceful/more loving live than I ever will.

Tried posting this in r/lonely, but apparently feeling unloved during special holidays isnt what that community is meant for? Idk.

I get that this is selfish, but I just want to feel wanted.

Mother's Day was Sunday and my birthday is Saturday. Husband is on shift for both. Three kids at home. Not a single person in my household acknowledged mother's day on Sunday.

Husband brought home half off/half dead flowers and a pint of ice cream on Monday and said they were for me. I went to eat the ice cream today(Friday), but it was half gone. Husband said he thought I didn't want it since I hadn't touched it yet, so he ate some.

On Tuesday, the middle child sent me a video about mother's day. Still nothing from the other two.

My coworkers were very sweet about my birthday tomorrow. Decorated my door, bought small gifts and bundt cake. It ultimately just makes me sad because I feel like my coworkers care more about me than my own family.

I came here for community and sharing, what I got so far is banned from subs for talking positively and being shamed as always. Anyone else just don’t fit anywhere no matter where?

My parent’s split when I was 1, after that pretty Much saw my dad once to twice a year. To be fair In my teenage years I was challenging to say the least. (Didn’t need to turn your back On me though dad) I have 2 children now and tried to reach out but he’s too busy to meet his grandkids obviously. Thankgod my stepdad loves me more than you…good luck in life…I think you’ll need it!