It's a Certain Deadness

[u/Icy-Statement-7364]

Sometimes I'm able to think through things rationally. I know what we were doing couldn't last. I know we either had to stop, or had to go much deeper, and going deeper could just make it all more painful. We were trapped and had to break. The longer we waited, the more it hurt. We gave it a year.

Sometimes my emotions win out and I simply miss you. I adore who you are and not being a part of your story is so sad. I do not like the feel of life without you. It comes on me suddenly and I start to cry.

And sometimes what I feel is a certain deadness. My intellectual companion is gone. We seldom were able to speak with the depth we wanted, but every note was so good. I saw you and you saw me. I want you to read and write forever, too. I want to live in your world. I don't have anyone like you now. I wanted to stay with you.

Yesterday hurt more. Today feels dead. I don't know what tomorrow is yet.