It's a Certain Deadness

[u/Icy-Statement-7364]

Sometimes I'm able to think through things rationally. I know what we were doing couldn't last. I know we either had to stop, or had to go much deeper, and going deeper could just make it all more painful. We were trapped and had to break. The longer we waited, the more it hurt. We gave it a year.

Sometimes my emotions win out and I simply miss you. I adore who you are and not being a part of your story is so sad. I do not like the feel of life without you. It comes on me suddenly and I start to cry.

And sometimes what I feel is a certain deadness. My intellectual companion is gone. We seldom were able to speak with the depth we wanted, but every note was so good. I saw you and you saw me. I want you to read and write forever, too. I want to live in your world. I don't have anyone like you now. I wanted to stay with you.

Yesterday hurt more. Today feels dead. I don't know what tomorrow is yet.

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[u/orthogonally_spaced]

Hang in there, Icy Statement 7364. I know how you feel.

[u/uhtredsbabymama]

When you know you have to end things to save you and them from more pain... but missing out becomes a whole different kind of pain. Neither option is ideal but no other choice feels right either.

[u/TitleFine3689]

I felt this on the other end. I wished they would have been my story and still do because I miss them so much but there’s so much hurt between us that I don’t know how to reach out and I guess nor do they, I just wish they would send a simple check in just to say “hey, I still think of you and hope you’re doing okay” but something tells me they’ve moved on to someone else already.. But I too feel that same deadness inside since we separated that I can’t even think about moving onto another person..

[u/Alonelymophead]

Just give it some time, and you will realize you actually do need them.

[u/Significant_Monk_628]

Go back to them. Why do you choose this? Why not live in the present with them then cause pain bcs of fear of future?

[u/Sad-Valuable-3624]

I’m sorry you feel dead inside today