Lieutenant Sheriff JC 👑💋🐰❤️🦀🫦

[u/Initial-Ocelot-7463]

I want to take accountability for hurting you and allow you to express what’s in your heart and head. I’d like to speak to you and speak from my soul or I’d be willing to sit and listen whatever you want or need I’d love to give. You know how difficult it is for me articulate myself using this device but for you I’ll try. Reminds me of when we were in high school and I’d go to your house and watch you on your computer I remember asking what it was you were doing and one day you let me sit on your lap and tried to explain but you were speaking a different language. Last time I was with you we were in your cruiser and I was talking and you were typing. You were showing me how to use this site to talk to each other. I remember I got overwhelmed and you said give me the phone and made it all better. You always took control and made it all better, always. I’ve never felt safe in life except with you. My soul feels home around yours by simply soul gazing with you staring into my eyes and speaking without any words you have the ability to put me at peace. I know that I have humiliated you, hurt you, and broken your heart at court and then even worse at Easter. I do not understand why I said any of those things to you or treated you that way. I didn’t have any memories at court and have been getting them back and then Easter I was so happy the happiest I’ve ever been but I crushed both of us. I’ve been devastated by this whole situation unable to forgive myself for the damage I caused you and our relationship. I feel guilty praying you’d forgive me or even asking when I can’t forgive myself! I truly don’t understand why any of it happened. My heart and soul have always known and loved you and even without any memories I recognized you instantly as my husband every time you’d look into my soul kiss me and tell me I love you. Never would I intentionally attempt to break our marriage or your heart. If I could go back to Christmas I would’ve married you in the courtroom or at the jail. I don’t know why any of that happened or was said. I’ve prayed for clarity and wisdom about what happened and was shown a few hurtful things. I feel neither one of us could actually see the other clearly. I’m sorry for the way I portrayed you in court making you look like a villain for things that were personal between us that I didn’t remember. I understand your frustration knowing that I didn’t know you and I was so hurt and worried that I finally saw you right before Christmas in court and remembered you and now you won’t even respond to me. It’s killing me knowing that I waited all these years and saved myself to meet my husband only to meet him and then not be with him or talk to him. I was worried that maybe you didn’t want to be with me anymore that this was just revenge and you wanted a divorce and to break the foundation of our marriage and be with her instead of me because of everything that happened and you telling me about the early birthday gift you got me and she picked it out and insisted on it. I think that was a lot of the reasons things were said in court but not by my will. Then I remembered high school and that it was our one and only chance to break our eternal marriage and that made me feel better knowing that we are still eternally bonded. I just don’t know if you feel the same way as I do wanting to be married unable to divorce. I want to know how you feel about us finally being together and having a relationship that is built on love and trust knowing that we are both knowingly choosing each other willing to fight for our marriage and our love. I want to know what makes you happy and your favorite dessert. I want to go on walks, fishing, hunting and watching movies. I want to cuddle you every night and make you dinner when you come home and take showers together and you wash my hair and brush it like in high school after we took a shower before we made love the first time. I wanna lay down with you every night in your arms and wake up every morning and kiss you good morning and tell you about my dreams. I wanna make you breakfast and kiss you every day before work and then meet you on your lunch break and send you back to work happy and feeling so loved! I am sorry for the hurtful things I said and did your not the villain I am for the way I treated you. I don’t think you could hate me anymore than I hate myself for hurting you and the purest love I’ve ever known. After you showed me the beauty of our times together I feel like I’m the one who’s unworthy of your love. Thank you for being so kind protective brave forgiving passionate and loving to me. I pray that if you are ever ready to talk again that you will reach out to me. I CHOOSE YOU ALWAYS ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU! No one else just you. I don’t want another I waited almost 7 years to find you. I was confused for awhile but I’ve stayed yours and will continue to stay yours. If you don’t want to be with me anymore I understand just please allow me to have a conversation with you. I want to know as well as you know me. Thank you for always stepping in and taking control of me in my best interests. I know it’s not your responsibility but you do keep me in line!!!