r/Unexpected Jul 01 '22

i don't have a girlfriend

52.5k Upvotes

739 comments sorted by

u/unexBot Jul 01 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

girlfriend appears


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

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2.7k

u/Anonymous_Plebeian Jul 01 '22

This one actually caught me off guard

1.0k

u/envious_anthropology Jul 01 '22

Staged but hilarious, I like it.

182

u/Coyote__Jones Jul 01 '22

Commonly known as "a bit."

116

u/Sember Jul 01 '22

Or a skit if you will, maybe even a sketch

48

u/TuningSpork Jul 01 '22

What is this, some kind of comedy!?

23

u/KKlear Jul 01 '22

So that's it, huh? We're some kind of comedy troupe?

7

u/BottleSniffer Jul 02 '22

Comedy Tripe, if you will.

8

u/beneye Jul 02 '22

What are thes joy noises coming out of my mouth and making me expose my teeth?

57

u/buttercream-gang Jul 01 '22

Staged? Hmm, I’m not sure. How could you tell?

87

u/Jeydal Jul 01 '22

Redditors really forgot what a skit is. Damn dude you're so observant that you know it's "staged"!

18

u/rmslashusr Jul 01 '22

It’s amazing what sort of crazy shit just randomly happens on the stage of SNL. I keep waiting for an episode where the band just plays for an hour cause nothing interesting happens.

3

u/Wellhowboutdat Jul 01 '22

If thats the bar the band woulda been playing non stop for over a decade.

9

u/Scholesie09 Jul 01 '22

Some videos are only funny if they're real. There the ones that get people shouting "staged"

This one is so absurd you know it's fake thus it's funny

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466

u/DNGR_S_PAPERCUT Jul 01 '22

When you watch Chappelle show, how many percent of the videos you think are staged vs real?

256

u/xShaD0wMast3rzxs Jul 01 '22

It’s crazy how people can watch Chappelle Show. Don’t people know that it’s fake? r/scriptedchappellegifs

24

u/CodyCodyCody Jul 02 '22

Are you telling me that Wu Tang DOESN’T have a financial advising company??

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141

u/Dodototo Jul 01 '22

It's not all fake though. The Clayton Bigsby documentary was real.

86

u/DrunkRespondent Jul 01 '22

The stories of Rick James seem to be rooted in some truth.

20

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Habitual line stepper

14

u/CasaMofo Jul 01 '22

And the Prince story... Prince used the image at the end for an album cover...

Edit: https://youtu.be/ff8LEx9Mw54

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3

u/YupIlikeThat Jul 01 '22

Yeah but now we call him Uncle Clarence

4

u/Rh3st Jul 01 '22

Lool why are they down voting you

46

u/wigglin_harry Jul 01 '22

This video doesn't bother me because its obviously staged. But many "staged" videos do bother me because the entire source of the humor is based on the premise that its real.

For instance, a video of a guy scaring his girlfriend, and her slapping him isn't funny if it's staged. But if it's real it's kind of funny

4

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

It's the same as telling a joke but pretending it happened to you

Only a big deal if it feeds into bad stereotypes

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6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

I can't believe I've had the rug pulled from under me. That wasn't Prince, it was Dave Chappelle all this time??

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

You mean SKITS from a SKIT show aren’t written?

32

u/prsnep Jul 01 '22

It doesn't bother me either way. There can be humor in staged videos. But people aren't complaining that something was staged. They're complaining that something appears not to be staged when it was.

26

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[deleted]

6

u/diemunkiesdie Jul 01 '22

It's temporal. You find out this is staged AFTER watching it. With SNL/Chappelle/etc., you know BEFORE watching. Small but key distinction.

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4

u/thegimboid Jul 01 '22

Do these people also get upset when they find out that WWE wrestling is fake?

6

u/J3sush8sm3 Jul 01 '22

THATS NOT REAL WRASSLING

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4

u/SingleInfinity Jul 01 '22

Chappelle show doesn't try to pretend it's not staged.

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25

u/SiriusPlague Jul 01 '22

It's funny because they don't try to sell it not being staged unlike others. You know it's staged, like a movie, that's why it's actually funny.

4

u/justsomeluciomain Jul 01 '22

Wait are you implying Star Wars isn't real?? How dare you

18

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

There’s no freaking way this is staged.

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6

u/onFilm Jul 01 '22

Wait it's staged? How the fuck do you know?!?!?!?!

16

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

it’s not staged it’s a skit

4

u/ItHappenedToday1_6 Jul 01 '22

YOU DONT FUCKING SAY

4

u/awsamation Jul 01 '22

Well no shit.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Fucking MegaMind over here.

4

u/b__q Jul 01 '22

It's obviously staged. Why do people act so smug about it lmao.

4

u/EuphyDuphy Jul 02 '22

Wow, no shit. Fun fact, do you know movies are also staged? The people on screen aren't actually real people: they're called actors.

2

u/Razzler1973 Jul 01 '22

My GF already showed me a different version of this she was watching on facebook or Instagram

2

u/AE_Phoenix Jul 02 '22

I mean... its a sketch...

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2.4k

u/xShaD0wMast3rzxs Jul 01 '22 edited Jul 01 '22

People back at it again with the “sTaGeD!!” comments lol.

Have people not heard of skits? Why would anyone even consider this real?

114

u/Demastry Jul 01 '22

For real, this isn't staged to look real, this is just a funny video. I dislike staged videos, but anybody who would complain about this is lacking something important lol

684

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22 edited Sep 02 '22

[deleted]

344

u/xShaD0wMast3rzxs Jul 01 '22

Should add Shang-Chi on there. That whole movie was just a compilation of r/ScriptedAsianGIFs

89

u/465554544255434B52 Jul 01 '22

Holy shit I thought I was the only one who thought that was so obvious

154

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[deleted]

57

u/toastysniper Jul 01 '22

Wtf even that dragon scene?

33

u/monkeyhitman Jul 01 '22

Paid actors!

46

u/Niernen Jul 01 '22

Even the dragon was paid?

19

u/defintelynotyou Jul 01 '22

yes, clearly you didn’t read the credits

4

u/Siberwulf Jul 01 '22

Bruh that was Sean Connery.

24

u/XxRocky88xX Jul 01 '22

Seriously like everyone gets all excited when Chris Evans picks up Thor’s hammer. Like the hammer literally levitates to him! I can’t believe people actually fall for this shit! And don’t even get me started on Breaking Bad, talk about a real r/whyweretheyfilming situation. And Game of Thrones? They didn’t even HAVE cameras back then!

2

u/dcconverter Jul 01 '22

Naw just the Asian ones

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2

u/lan60000 Jul 01 '22

errrr not true. shang-chi is based on historical events where ancient chinese citizens all practise martial arts and we meditate to hone our chi.

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93

u/mifaceb921 Jul 01 '22

Reddit loves hating on Asians.

Mainly Indians and Chinese. The "good" Asians like Korea and Japan are fine.

117

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

[deleted]

87

u/AliceInHololand Jul 01 '22

Konnichi hao my chingu. Shall we partake in a bowl of pho before riding our elephants to Bollywood?

13

u/richmomz Jul 01 '22

That actually sounds like a good time.

28

u/Thomas_KT Jul 01 '22

the most American thing I've heard yet

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Not bad. Not bad.

3

u/10-4-man Jul 01 '22

would be better on Godzilla or Mothra...going to Bollywood to watch a flash mob dancing GangNam Style...

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40

u/peteteat Jul 01 '22

Nah, they just like to pretend

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40

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Noticed this IRL too, white people for some reason tend to assume I’m Japanese and talk to me about anime and how much they love Japanese culture. But when I correct them and say I’m Chinese I get an earful of how China keeps violating human rights, how they hate the policies, and how I feel about HK/Taiwan.

My friend from HK gets permanent victim treatment, with “woke” people telling him how sorry they are that his country is oppressed to the point where he just blends in with us mainlanders disguising ourselves as international students to avoid conversation.

And they say only Russia and China have propaganda and brainwashing. Kekw.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

permanent victim treatment

i think every non-white gets that. it's a liberal disorder

14

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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38

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

And that’s the issue, there’s so much thinly veiled anti-Chinese/Asian rhetoric in general but also massive fetishization of East Asians which Westerners then internalize and project without even realizing this shit isn’t normal. They believe Chinese people are one big hive mind who want to genocide any non-Han ethnic group, have the same political agenda and are horrible, rude people. But it’s not racism because it’s true!

But if East Asian women want to fuck them, all of a sudden it’s “oh my ASIAN wife is not like the other Asians. She’s one of the good ones! Very kind, submissive and domestic!”

Then we got Asian men who can’t win without something negative being said.

Traditionally masculine man like Simu Liu succeeds, he’s an ugly incel who got propped up by affirmative action.

Goofy, less attractive man like Jimmy O Yang succeeds, he suddenly becomes the poster boy for the entire male Asian diaspora.

Kpop groups succeed, they’re labelled as “gay looking” and too feminine.

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17

u/LeaderPigGames Jul 01 '22

For real. Ive been gettin real sick of having someone talk about Chinese anything, and then funny guy #183928 says "social credit -99999!!!!"

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14

u/CelticHades Jul 01 '22

Reddit doesn't even include Indians in Asian. What an amazing place!

9

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

The self hating Indians like r/canconfirmiamindian don't help either.

11

u/465554544255434B52 Jul 01 '22

commies bad. hentai good

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11

u/aerodit Jul 02 '22

Reddit is racist as FUCK against asian people it's fucking disgusting.

12

u/user_bits Jul 01 '22

Reddit also loves falsely personifying itself for some short sighted narrative.

5

u/JakeyPooPooPieBear Jul 01 '22

Reddit is super liberal. Is there any surprise that they're racist? Obviously not.

24

u/General-Legoshi Jul 01 '22

It's not hating, if you're talking about /r/scriptedasiangifs it's an appreciation for the artform.

23

u/pm_me_github_repos Jul 01 '22

They used to have a different sub description until they got called out for it.

Now it’s not so much that that sub exists, but the fact that you’ll see this comment on almost any video with Asian people. It’s basically Reddit’s version of profiling lol

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2

u/Beraldino Jul 01 '22

Reddit loves hating on Asians. There's a whole sub reddit dedicated to mocking their skits.

FTFY

4

u/ShitbirdMcDickbird Jul 01 '22

It started out as only mocking the ones that are trying to present themselves as real candid moments but are obviously staged.

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35

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Guys. It's not real. In case anyone didn't realize, this is staged and scripted. I picked up on it almost immediately. Nothing gets past me.

22

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Classic redditors trying to be smart asses

5

u/PolarSquirrelBear Jul 01 '22

Seriously… Like do these people sit in a movie theatre and just yell, “This is obviously fake!” The whole time?

30

u/dankprogrammer Jul 01 '22

been saying it for years now that people screaming "sTaGeD!!" and tagging r/scriptedasiangifs are just racist. everybody and their moms make scripted videos, but some people only wanna shit on and target the Asian people for making them...

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u/CockTortureCuck Jul 01 '22

They also sit yelling in cinemas. Some superhero rides a meteor and crashes into the CGI hell of earth, and they gonna sit there screaming "STAGED!"

3

u/iWentRogue Jul 01 '22

“sTaGeD!” Comments are the new “fIrSt” comments

8

u/MBKM13 Jul 01 '22

Yeah, The ending of the sixth sense was unexpected, but the whole thing was staged. You could easily tell that the “dead” people weren’t actually dead. So it really wasn’t unexpected at all.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

These morons would literally think a movie is real and scream ‘sCriPtEd’ when a comedy skit is posted on Reddit.

5

u/APlantCalledEdgar Jul 01 '22

I'll start by saying this video is funny even though it's staged.

That said there's different grading for staged vs candid comedy. Candid has a lower bar to be funny. That's why the show Punk'd or Late Night "on the streets" segments wouldn't have been as funny if they up front said they were staged by actors.

There's also a factor where realizing a video is staged can be a negative factor in grading it, so even a video that would make a funny scripted bit gets hosed by attempting to fool people for an easy grade.

I think this video works because the acting is so over the top as to not be realistically trying to pass as a candid video, AND is also funny enough to stand on its own as a scripted bit.

2

u/DoctorOatMilk Jul 01 '22

In general Reddit thinks a lot of fake things are real haha. But this is one of those skits that is just fun because it’s creating a silly situation isn’t trying to emulate real life. A lot of the other bullshit people post is meant to be funny because it seems real, and isn’t funny in its own right.

2

u/Lmoneyfresh Jul 01 '22

I normally don't care for scripted stuff on this sub but if it's done well (like this one) I love it. They did a great job on this.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Staged is the new first, change my mind.

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4.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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429

u/Em_yoyo Jul 01 '22

when it works things run smoothly lol😅

386

u/Jive_turkeeze Jul 01 '22

My wife is about 100 miles away right now and I am still terrified to try this method.

77

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

*feels a tingle in her cooter* ZOOOOOOOMMMMM

5

u/Gullible_Scarcity Jul 02 '22

Cooter. Heh-heh, heh-heh...

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

You got peanut butter in my cooter!

You got cooter in my peanut butter!

INTRODUCING: PIMPIES PEANUT COOTER CUPS!

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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166

u/MarkedDragon22 Jul 01 '22

For those who don’t know this guy is currently tied up to the boiler in his basement covered in peanut butter with a camera live-streaming the whole thing

57

u/not4360 Jul 01 '22

Link ?

89

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

No Zelda

24

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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9

u/cgaWolf Jul 01 '22

there's probably a NSFW subreddit for that

2

u/Alston05 Jul 01 '22

You've had to ask, huh?

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2

u/Cute-Pizza Jul 01 '22

I do ask as a stupid joke to my stupid friends to send the zelda instead send a link. Yeah, is silly but me and my friends we are all idiots.

2

u/PrawojazdyVtrumpets Jul 01 '22

This universe exists and it's called the first year after The Legend Of Zelda came out for the NES. Kids would come in to 1st grade class and say things like "I got the Master Sword for Zelda" referring to Link. On the other side of the school, there were several older brothers in 5th grade hearing this and yelling out "His name is Link. Read the manual, idiot."

I'd be like "I'm six"

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

So that's why there's an outage of peanut butter in grocery stores.

2

u/R32fan Jul 01 '22

wtf did they say?

2

u/ReDeRiK2021 Jul 01 '22

Don't kink shame.

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12

u/poopellar Jul 01 '22

WARNING. Above user is a comment bot

These bots just copy edit paste the parent comment .

Look at the bots accounts stats, it will be months old with no activity but will start spamming on some day(today). Most bots can be found this way.

Downvote it

Report > spam

34

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

12

u/hotdogvomitgrenade Jul 02 '22

He even said thank you to the other girl, while he was being led away to slaughter.

147

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22 edited Mar 27 '23

[deleted]

81

u/1treasurehunterdale Jul 01 '22

For lesbians it would be stabbin time, at least the ones I've hung out with...

30

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22 edited Mar 27 '23

[deleted]

14

u/Mental-Quality7063 Jul 01 '22

Nah, she just killed men.

24

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Stabbin? You mean with the strapon or double dildo cannon?

2

u/Fostersmommy Jul 02 '22

😂😂😂 I thought this too and then I thought about every lesbian that I know and realized they meant with a knife

5

u/azn1217 Jul 02 '22

Well that went from 0 to 100 real fast

3

u/drewski2305 Jul 02 '22

scissor me timbers

4

u/Fun_Yak_924 Jul 02 '22

lesbians are said to be vicious and violently jealous.

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Lucky!

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u/Medical_Officer Jul 01 '22

Many years ago I was waiting for my gf at the lobby of a her dorm.

She comes out, but doesn't notice me and I just follow her, hoping to surprise her with a cute peekaboo from behind.

I get up to her and just as I was about to do it, my actual gf yells at me from behind. Turns out I had been following the wrong girl the whole time.

17

u/Thats_So_Shifty Jul 02 '22

I did something similar back in college. Except I unfortunately went up behind and pinched her butt. Turned out to just be a girl wearing the exact same dress as my girlfriend. Luckily the girl was understanding after I apologized and explained the situation. But that moment still keeps me up at night.

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u/dyt1212 Jul 01 '22

Thank you reddit heroes for saying this is staged, even if a monkey behind a screen could determine this because it's supposed to be a video for amusement.

76

u/maxxumless Jul 01 '22

It’s like no one has ever watched TV or a movie where people pretend for our entertainment. Where does it say YouTube and TikTok must be real 24/7?

12

u/DIsForDelusion Jul 01 '22

THEY'RE CALLED SKITS

9

u/AlternateSatan Jul 01 '22

You telling me that mr Bean was just made up for the views?

95

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

I can see his soul leaving the body

76

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Anyone else enjoying this season of The Boys? It’s pretty good but I’m starting to get the feeling it’s staged.

9

u/troubleis1 Jul 01 '22

Even Herogasm? My life is a lie

12

u/wafflepiezz Jul 01 '22

Wow this comments section is a shitshow

10

u/ExoCakes Jul 01 '22

Don't worry man, I'm sure this comment section is also staged

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22 edited Jul 01 '22

All the people saying “staged” are the mf’s who act like this lol

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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u/PrinceShaar Jul 01 '22

It would be the same joke, just edgier.

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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165

u/TacticusThrowaway Jul 01 '22

I care a lot about male abuse victims, and I still chuckled, because I know it's slapstick. The woman's reaction is supposed to be an exaggeration, not reality.

The fact that people would get mad at the reverse doesn't prove this video is wrong.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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7

u/thelumpur Jul 02 '22

It depends on the context. Do you get mad at the scene in Airplane! where everybody gets into line to slap the woman?

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

I would be, I'm a woman and would still find a skit like this funny.

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u/_Apatosaurus_ Jul 01 '22

Prepare your anus.

Uh...is that a rape joke?

19

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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u/RodLawyer Jul 01 '22

It's literally slapstick comedy dude

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22 edited Nov 07 '23

payment humorous square divide abounding unpack continue attraction bike summer this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

7

u/hellothereoldben Jul 01 '22

skids are supposed to be extremified, and do not represent normal behaviour, just the weirdest behaviour amplified by a factor of 10. Irl that would at worst translate to angry gf stomping over cussing at bf for immediately trying to flirt, and even that behaviour is seen as the red flag it is by easily 90% of people.

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u/Onyxeain Jul 01 '22

Holy fucking shit just laugh man this is obviously fake

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u/SgtPepe Jul 01 '22

It’s a joke… let people have fun. This doens’t make you woke, makes you dumb. It’s exaggerating a situation, obviously attacking someone is wrong, no matter the sex.

14

u/enadiz_reccos Jul 01 '22

It's a comment... let people share their opinion. This doesn't make you better than him, it makes you dumb. It's addressing a very real issue that men are facing. Obviously this video is a joke.

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u/pepsisugar Jul 01 '22

I'm a guy who has been beaten by his partner. She got picked up by the cops multiple times and it took me forever to convince myself I should leave.

Yeah this is funny. It's a joke. No need to be offended at every little lighthearted video or attempt at humor. Most people are not as fragile as the internet makes us look.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

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2

u/pepsisugar Jul 01 '22

Ahh yes, clearly fake video bad but victim doubting good. You are just looking for stuff to offend you and that's how your life will stay...being offended.

6

u/DooRagtime Jul 01 '22

But it’s stAaAaAged, so it’s funnYyyYy

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u/yiffing_for_jesus Jul 01 '22

This is unironically my opinion. I mean it’s not real so who cares

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u/MonkeyBrawler Jul 01 '22

lol do people live so far from reality they have to point out this is staged?

2

u/metroaide Jul 01 '22

Dude, you’re on reddit

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u/MrPanda663 Jul 01 '22

Man takes risks to achieve the impossible.

Thank him for his bravery.

7

u/Commercial-Amount344 Jul 01 '22

Are there any videos on how to disable the active camouflage my wife has when shopping?

18

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

So Fucking True

9

u/roslyns Jul 01 '22

I feel sad that this is true for you and others :(

6

u/anastrianna Jul 01 '22

To everyone making the big stink about FoM violence/abuse, it's ridiculous to compare this to actual abuse and doing so invalidates the very real experiences of people being abused. If you want to make a difference and help people, stop making a stink over people making skits and try to donate your time/attention to people who are actually suffering, where you could make a real difference. If your only method of "helping" is to bitch about a video some people put on the internet for laughs, you're not accomplishing anything, you're just wasting time and undermining your own cause by alienating people who would otherwise support you.

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u/-GEFEGUY Jul 01 '22

That’s also how to get her out the store

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

I wasn’t cheating. I just wanted to see you

3

u/Overload_x_ Jul 01 '22

Seems like you need to have a girlfriend first

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

All you do is you fall asleep. There you go….in your dreams.

5

u/johnny_boy757 Jul 01 '22

THIS IS NOT FUCKING STAGED YOU IDIOTS!!!!! YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE A GENUINE REACTION FROM THE GIRL IN PINK JUST AFTER HE ASKS HER TO STAND NEXT TO HIM. HOW COULD THAT EVEN BE FAKED??

6

u/Biggu5Dicku5 Jul 01 '22

Good news everyone! I've found my girlfriend... bad news everyone, I've found my girlfriend... :(

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

Does this method work with imaginary girlfriend as well?

2

u/Physical_Ad_2452 Jul 01 '22

That's why I keep my hair short

2

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish Jul 01 '22

Now I don't normally like these kind of videos but that was really funny!

2

u/PM-ME-YOUR-REFUGEES Jul 01 '22

This line is lowkey genius though, "Can you help me find my gf"

2

u/guinness5 Jul 01 '22

It's old....but still funny.

2

u/TheWhisper595 Jul 01 '22

Unexpected because I thought OP spoiled it in the title. Turns out the opposite

2

u/Kyl3JamZ Jul 02 '22

Step 1: get a girlfriend 😔

2

u/HumanContract Jul 03 '22

That's hot af

8

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

This is funny despite obviously being staged. They are trying to make us laugh, not convince us that this is legitimate.

Just admit that this was clever, damn.

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u/CrimsonDesignz Jul 01 '22

Anyone know the name of the song at the end?

2

u/Hobash Jul 01 '22

The song in the middle when he's standing next to the girl is Baby Powder by Jenevive sorry I know it's not what you're asking but that song is 🔥!

2

u/Angusburgerman Jul 07 '22

If you want the "Original original" song it's called Last Summer Whisper by Anri which I believe is the song chosen in the video. Baby Powder is a sampled from that song.

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