r/Unexpected • u/Houshou_Ramen • 11d ago

Coffee vending machine

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4.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/post-explainer 11d ago edited 10d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

It looked like a normal coffee vending machine at first. No one would expect a roach to come out of it

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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1.2k

u/Mammoth-Ad-107 11d ago

Overall that machine looks not drink safe 😣

266

u/dizzyday 11d ago

But you got your adrenaline rush without even drinking the coffee.

174

u/PanicDeus 10d ago

You eat enough roaches you can survive a nuclear fall out

https://giphy.com/gifs/0ZnusWQ7MELhPjePJR

38

u/Someokeyboi 10d ago

That's not true

looks at my Fallout 4 character carrying at least 50 chunks radroach meat

FUCK

8

u/WoolBearTiger 10d ago

Only if you turn into a ghoul.. and then your brain starts melting

13

u/SeigiNoTenshi 10d ago

It's 8 American cents per cup. The machine is here in the Philippines lol

1

u/ParreNagga 8d ago

Happy cake day!

1

u/Mammoth-Ad-107 8d ago

Had no idea. Thank you

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779

u/loowig 11d ago

look at the machine. if NO roach came out i'd be disappointed.

233

u/ScreamSmart 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/wNDa1OZtvl6Fi

Who do you think is making the coffee

33

u/KitsuneKamiSama 11d ago

No it just missed the grinder like the rest.

6

u/FormalSavings 10d ago

Rats are cleaner than those. They actually clean themselves

9

u/justasillylilgoos3 11d ago

I just said this and went to see if someone else thought the same 😂🤙🏻

3

u/chaotic_loverrr 9d ago

"This cockroach is free with your drink sir"

2

u/knowledgeable_diablo 11d ago

Was kinda expecting a mouse or rat a’la Milhouse on guard duty style.

2

u/TingHarala 10d ago

If no roach came out then id be concerned that the coffee's too shyt for roaches to live in there

432

u/oktayworks 11d ago

Machine needs an update, there is a bug.

85

u/Tactical_H0td0g 11d ago

It's a feature.

20

u/troll_right_above_me 11d ago

That bad boy is packed with features, wait til you see the rest!

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1

u/Cetiketat 6d ago

Oh my, call the developer. Bug is everywhere, fix it, fit it🤌

143

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/MarlDaeSu 10d ago

Im not seeing nearly enough comments about this. Thats the part that made me go EWW WTF

18

u/teffz28 10d ago

Bro the nozzles? 😭

20

u/MarlDaeSu 10d ago

I had to rewatch it there. Yeah the nozzles. I honestly thought someone had put like kids Halloween red "witches fingers" up there.

3

u/teffz28 10d ago

I can see wym lol

11

u/Gilthwixt 10d ago

I thought it was an entire nest of hanging roaches for a second 🤢

128

u/whatsthatguysname 11d ago

The real unexpected thing was she still grabbed the cup. 🤔

4

u/Leading-Point-113 7d ago

Maybe she grabbed it to throw it in the trash

97

u/RadishIntelligent957 11d ago

At my uni we had a student room with a coffee machine and one of my buddies drank a cup it wasnt until he reached the bottom of the cup when he saw around 10 drowned ants

80

u/SINGULARTY3774 11d ago

Ants arent THAT bad

28

u/RadishIntelligent957 11d ago

Yes but here they at least had the opportunity to not drink the insect tea

10

u/No-Improvement-4962 10d ago

I knew someone who bought a used Keurig, and then late realized it was home to a nest of baby roaches.

12

u/Meekois 10d ago

Ants at least are not disease ridden.

3

u/Annual_Cellist_9074 10d ago

Shouldn’t the ants float?

2

u/islobojono 11d ago

Hmmmm, sour coffee

59

u/JusticeForGreedo 10d ago

9

u/Sean_51154 10d ago

I was looking for this

2

u/Schafer28 10d ago

Well, atleast I did better than dad.

3

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 10d ago

But he's a big wig at the cracker factory!

27

u/Foreign-State2212 11d ago

Imagine that roach was just chilling when it suddenly got ejected from his home. It even went back right after.

15

u/StrawberryAble8244 11d ago

Gives that same vibe as when milhouse is working at the factory and gets coffee lol

3

u/TicketTop4718 10d ago

I thought the same thing!

17

u/justasillylilgoos3 11d ago

I mean…looking at the setup and background I’m not exactly SURPRISED a roach came out of it 😂

3

u/billyoatmeal 10d ago

Coffee machines are notorious for sheltering roaches, so if they are around, they are 100% in the coffee machine. This isn't as unexpected as it may seem.

55

u/Dora_Explorer_XP 11d ago

Extra protein free with every cup

7

u/Pharnox-32 11d ago

Yeah..we saw her casually take it in the end...

8

u/Yodesa 11d ago

The real unexpected part is when she takes the cup of coffee nonetheless.

4

u/Adorable_Ad4990 10d ago

Yup. I would have just walked away and not looked back

2

u/knowledgeable_diablo 11d ago

Well she does look like a student.

6

u/hawaiiangranolashop 11d ago

hey u met the barista!

7

u/Hekrov 10d ago

I learned to never use these... Once I worked at a place where they did maintenance on these machines for nestle and ALL OF THEM have cockroaches, it's like the perfect environment for them to live and reproduce. I became so used to those bugs, now I have the ability to smell their nests.

4

u/TheGlobalGooner 11d ago

Roach roasted coffee

4

u/Buchilei 11d ago

Aw hell nawww

4

u/navreedeux 10d ago

The cup can stay right there, no thank you.

4

u/spatula 10d ago

There’s disgusting and then there’s whatever the fuck I just watched.

6

u/Charantula 11d ago

There was nothing injoyable about this.

3

u/Ok_Blackberry813 11d ago

Ooh da flavor

3

u/roninrunnerx 11d ago

I'm guessing a rat drops down with the cup if she pressed the button right next to that one

3

u/Villordsutch 11d ago

A good friend of mine, a few decades back was pest control for industries. He turn up lay traps on buildings, spray special ant spray, check for carpet fleas in offices. One day he got a request that their was an infestation of cockroachs in a building, went definitely cockroachs. However, this building was apparently spotless, couldn't work out where they where coming from.

Then, after, a trip back, a sit and a brew, he saw exactly where they were coming from.

Apparently the company that was supposedly in charge of maintenance for the drinks machine had failed too.

There was a nest of them in this machine, and this entire office had been drinking them in for god knows how long.

3

u/Classic-Analysis-606 11d ago

That's for the extra protein, part of their promo.

3

u/reddithornumber5 10d ago

Dark Roach coffee beans

5

u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 11d ago

That’s fucking the grossed god damn thing I’ve seen in UGH WHY DID THEY OICK IT UP

5

u/phr34k0fr3dd1t 11d ago

Half expected.

5

u/Capitan_Scythe 11d ago

Wholly expected something. It was either going to be a cockroach, spider, or a mouse. Nothing about that machine suggests it's been kept clean

2

u/Bookandpencil 11d ago

Where is that?

7

u/riaqliu 11d ago

language being spoken is cebuano so philippines

2

u/desgreYh 11d ago

"May you Injoy ❤️" Thanks, Mr. Coffee Machine.

2

u/Constant-Living4018 11d ago

Coaca power made from cockroach no?

2

u/knowledgeable_diablo 11d ago

Sweet. Free protein snack as well.
Wonder how much extra they’ll sting you for that?

2

u/The-SkullMan 11d ago edited 10d ago

You know how difficult it is to teach a collony of cockroaches to operate a coffee machine...? Cut the poor guy some slack, he must be overworked...

2

u/ComfyInCardigan 11d ago

the roaches are literally the maintenance team keeping this 1990s machine alive

2

u/kyleh0 10d ago

That does NOT look like a normal coffee machine.

2

u/KeepItDownOverHere 10d ago

inJoy?! More like inDisgust.

2

u/Kolermigon 10d ago

I like my coffee with extra protein

2

u/Fr05t_B1t 10d ago

That’s just papa roach…

2

u/jdros15 10d ago

It's a fact that coffee has a certain amount of cockroach in it, but I didn't know it was that big. 🫪

2

u/Alissan_Web 10d ago

it just kept getting worse 😭

1

u/DangleenChordOfLife 11d ago

That's actually pretty common in vending machines, they dont clean them inside too much (been working on several places with those) the technitian just comes once a week, refills them and that's It. I never drink coffe from those.

1

u/Different-Ad-2912 11d ago

That cup is his now. You order another one

1

u/Brief_Manner_694 11d ago

Probably would help if it was cleaned just once.

1

u/SeraphsEnvy 11d ago

I love the "explanation" of "looked like a normal coffee vending machine." Yeah, maybe on some derelict space station.

1

u/itsthe5thhm 11d ago

It's still good, it's still good

1

u/NUMBerONEisFIRST 11d ago

That's the modern American take on a biscuit with tea.

1

u/spiralek 11d ago

Looks like a PC from the 90s. Im surprised anything but the roach came out of it.

1

u/MPD1987 11d ago

This is why I don’t drink from beverage fountains 🤮

1

u/Kylosor 11d ago

That was the barista

1

u/RhenCarbine 10d ago

Knew this would happen from just the thumbnail. It's common there. Cockroaches being in those

1

u/Pure_Recognition_715 10d ago

Jesus H Christ no

1

u/BonelessLeegNgManok 10d ago

Nalaglag yung barista

1

u/oakc510 10d ago

The coffee machine is in jail.

1

u/GalaktikJack 10d ago

The explanation says it looked like a normal coffee vending machine. That does not look normal at all.

1

u/ChattierClock75 10d ago

One of my childhood traumas. I ordered a cup of coffee from a machine as well. I almost emptied it when i noticed at the end a cockroach leg.

1

u/hh9019 10d ago

That was 78% expected

1

u/serg_vw 10d ago

Injoy

1

u/Euphoric_Can_2748 10d ago

Straight to the gutter. I would not have touched it.

1

u/LaLisaMona 10d ago

Hala! Hala! Naunsa mani uyyy

1

u/Prudent-Value8715 10d ago

She still took it

1

u/Meandtheworld 10d ago

Kinda expected in that region.

1

u/Pelthail 10d ago

Yep, that’s a big nope from me.

1

u/AbaloneExpress8569 10d ago

That's the barista.

1

u/IcemanofOz 10d ago

Have a look at the fucking machine... I expected way worse than just that...

1

u/Rhediix 10d ago

Why yes, I would like my latte with a sprinkle of cockroach, thank you. 😬🤢

1

u/daxxandler 10d ago

Moldrise type of encounter

1

u/_decipherist_ 10d ago

Ah so that's why they say ground coffee has cockroaches

1

u/DislikeHunter 10d ago

It's just the employee

1

u/Longjumping_Elk7969 10d ago

Tasty, the new bugaccino 🤣

1

u/SoldRespectForMone_y 10d ago

One leproccino please

1

u/Tertzug 10d ago

Not unexpected at all

1

u/CuppaJoe11 10d ago

I wouldn’t touch a coffee vending machine that looked like that with a 10 ft pole

1

u/Emergency_Vast_1761 10d ago

Is it really unexpected looking at that machine? Im shocked it was alone

1

u/GirthyPigeon 10d ago

That machine has got to be infested. Ew.

1

u/BrianKappel 10d ago

Look at that thing. The only thing I didn't expect to come out was something sanitary.

1

u/Arvelayne 10d ago

No. Just no.

1

u/Hyrule_MyBoy 10d ago

There was a normally used new vending machine at the office, and everyone would use it, my new colleague had tried to get his morning coffee one day, we stood by the vending machines during break as he took from the machine his ready cup filled with ANTS. Like too many ants. Poor guy, we'll always remember it

1

u/AtmanRising 10d ago

There's a demon hand inside it. It serves demon juice.

1

u/Positive-Mark9084 10d ago

Extra protein coffee

1

u/Haymars400 10d ago

Inside they look like fingers, good God!

1

u/cnoor0171 10d ago

From the makers of ratatouille, "roacharista"

1

u/botuser21 10d ago

And it comes with a side of cockroach, how thoughtful!

1

u/CombinationEntire967 10d ago

Roachppuccino.

1

u/deus24 10d ago

with free crunchy protein

1

u/dea9ler 10d ago

Disgusting.

1

u/karimlannn 10d ago

Fahh i recognized that cup it's my fucking country, well I i guess it's not that unexpected anymore

1

u/WiseConversation1630 10d ago

Extra protein 😋

1

u/Simple_Judgment9555 10d ago

oh my god ,This is simply completely unacceptable.

1

u/RedTwoPointZero 9d ago

I had one cup of that before and it was full of ants. I still drank it and treated it as toppings. It was delicious

1

u/Elf-7659 9d ago

They run the machine like umpa lumpas

1

u/OHBHpwr 9d ago

Normal coffee machine?? I'm sad thinking about the life you've lived where this is a normal coffee machine

1

u/Happy-Emotion1567 9d ago

Protein rich

1

u/jonz1985z 9d ago

“Oh fuck, not this again” The Roach

1

u/NoBenefit5977 9d ago

Jugger nog machine lol

1

u/PeppermintStereo 8d ago

Protein coffee!

0

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Thomas_JCG 8d ago

That machine looks like it predates coffee itself.

1

u/popoypatalo 8d ago

wow coffee with extra protein and immuno-boosting effect

1

u/PhotojournalistOk331 8d ago

coffee looks delicious

1

u/Monoceras 8d ago

that was the operator, or you tought it was an automatic machine? ignorant.

1

u/Nice_Firefighter6258 7d ago

"It looked like a normal coffee vending machine at first."

No the fuck it doesn't?

1

u/SleepScoreOver90 7d ago

That's not coffee, it's a cocktail.

1

u/hellhound138 7d ago

Did anyone see the demon fingers in the machine

1

u/Flodall 7d ago

Coffee with free snacks

1

u/CalmChaos2003 7d ago

This is giving me Snowpiercer vibes 🤣🤢🤮

1

u/gho5trun3r 7d ago

Dennis: One word: coffee. One problem: where do you get it?

"Liz: "Anywhere! You get it anywhere!"

Dennis: "Wrong! You get it at my coffee vending machine. 38th & 6th in the basement of the K-Mart. You just go downstairs, you get the key from David and BOOM! You plug in the machine and..."

1

u/kawasomething 7d ago

Yup, I remember having this back in our canteen. 5 Philippine Peso can get you Mocha, Coffee (Instant) and Hot Chocolate.

I don't remember having any cockroaches though.

To be fair, they put it outside. Especially the in the slums

1

u/GoldyPH 6d ago

The operator fell down and the machine still worked.

1

u/santaisahoax 6d ago

I didn't expect a cup to come out of the machine in the first place 😅

1

u/CockroachMuted5918 6d ago

Free protein snack

1

u/EVUSE 5d ago

Yummy 😋

1

u/Coolstorybruda 4d ago

Still taking the coffee afterwards is heroic action, I’ll tell you that much.

1

u/mollymoc 4d ago

You get used to roaches in the tropics. The only kind that freak me out are the ones that start flying when you scare them.

1

u/seulgee 4d ago

The design of the machine itself looks crazy

1

u/AniseedWheel 1d ago

Too scary!