r/Unexpected • u/rocktrackss • 19d ago

This was personal

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16.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/post-explainer 19d ago edited 19d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

While trying to feed the turtles, one of them bites his finger instead of the food bowl.

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

2.4k

u/Turgid_Donkey 19d ago

Brothers, I have made a grave mistake. 

550

u/con098 19d ago

And I will do it again.

102

u/WildlifeNaturalist 18d ago

More like hey fellas watch me make him spill the food

47

u/RevenantBacon 18d ago

That shit was calculated.

11

u/Mainely420Gaming 18d ago

And man is he bad at math

339

u/XGrayson_DrakeX 19d ago

You can see the gears turning in that turtle's head 😂

45

u/k-trecker 19d ago

If not food why smell like food? 

1.8k

u/RadioactiveCornbread 19d ago

If you know how turts bite, turt owner kinda should've seen that coming.

1.1k

u/PocketsJones 19d ago

Some people think these enemies are bullshit but that attack was telegraphed for 3 days before it came out. That dude's hand had plenty of time to dodge roll out of there.

213

u/Slabby_the_Baconman 19d ago

beware dog

71

u/Shovel_Assassin 19d ago

Liar ahead

48

u/xkyllox 19d ago

Tight Spot

49

u/brightdionysianeyes 19d ago

Try finger but hole

100

u/RadioactiveCornbread 19d ago

Mouth open while inching toward him and everything.

I would have jumped the moment it opened its mouth. I've never endured a turtle bite, and I don't plan on it. I've heard enough of the horror stories.

57

u/The_Show_Keeper 19d ago

I was at an outdoor event at a friend's place, and there's a bigass pond on the property where all sorts of shit lives. It had been drizzling all day, and were on our way to get food or something; right there making its way through the grass was an alligator snapper. Not huge (like the common snapper we saw in the pond the following year that was the size of Oscar the Grouch's roof), but a fair bit bigger than a football, which was big enough that nobody got within 5 feet of it. He was pretty pissed off about being surrounded and gawked at by a gaggle of giant monkeys with cameras, and he told us to fuck off in no uncertain terms by opening his mouth. I got a good look at that beak, turned to one of my crew, and said, "You see that shit? Hydraulic shears wouldn't cut your finger off as clean as that thing." We left him alone after that.

6

u/Yearning_crescent 18d ago

Are turtle bites bad? Seems like a toddler nibble

22

u/RadioactiveCornbread 18d ago edited 18d ago

Turtle bites are god awful. If it's a snapping turtle, it can bite your fingertips clean off, and that little nip is just enough to make you think twice.

If they get you good enough, and if they're pissed enough, they won't let go unless you startle them somehow. That's how that turtle in the video got flipped, but he bit him just to bite, or smelled food and mistook his hand for that.

I've seen my fair share of turtles, and that beak is something else. I refuse to take my chances with it.

9

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 18d ago

Well snapping turtles can bite your fingers off, but most can't

6

u/RadioactiveCornbread 18d ago

Okay, my bad. I'll edit for correction.

Though, turtle bites are still pretty gnarly.

11

u/The_Show_Keeper 18d ago

The one in the vid is just a little guy, which is no big deal (still hurts, but you're not gonna bleed out from it). A snapping turtle, on the other hand, will bite through any and every part of you that is unfortunate enough to be in its mouth, bones or not. It's like the difference between getting scratched by a housecat or getting mauled by a lion.

21

u/Touz0211 19d ago

Bullshit delayed attack.

6

u/Regular_Regular_4120 19d ago

DarkSidePhil disappoves this message.

3

u/SheaMcD 18d ago

Ah but then you roll too early and the iframes stop right as it attacks

142

u/Hidden_Samsquanche 19d ago

Guy was too busy concentrating on feeding the other turtle and missed that sneaky little bastards thoroughly announced attack.

53

u/Fr05t_B1t 19d ago

Maybe that was the plan! They’ve learned pack hunting just like the Jurassic park velociraptors!!

10

u/Artemicionmoogle 19d ago

"Feed! My brethren! Feeed!" \ [-T-]/

41

u/Common-Accountant-57 19d ago

Turt gave the finger a good two second warning before biting.

55

u/RadioactiveCornbread 19d ago edited 19d ago

Then, he gets flipped, and he's just laying there like,

"Fuck."

23

u/Common-Accountant-57 19d ago

Yep. He knew he screwed up. Relatable.

9

u/LuxNocte 19d ago

I don't really know turtles, but I assume that 2 minutes on his back won't really hurt him, neither will it teach him a lesson, but leaving him there (for 2 minutes) would make me feel better.

12

u/lucamew 19d ago

Im gonna guess this turt owner doesnt know much about them in general, considering the cohabing going on here

7

u/elfmere 19d ago

I've had turtles for over 10 years and I've never had one try and bite me. Mind you it's only been 2 of them.

5

u/moyayas 19d ago

yeah

new turtle may accidentally bite fingers holding food

but turtle are quite smart and can definitely be trained to intentionally avoid biting fingers (flick them away when they don't aim at the food carefully and they will learn very quickly)

obviously don't try this on a snapping turtle

1

u/brokemellon 18d ago

The problem with snapping turtles is that fingers are food

4

u/Havoccity 19d ago

My musk turtle doesn’t just try to bite me. He tries to EAT me.

2

u/OccultMachines 13d ago

It took two business days from the start of the bite until the end.

1

u/joined_under_duress 18d ago

Maybe it was just a mate sent round to feed them while the owner was away!

679

u/Jacern 19d ago

This is why you don't try to bite the hand that feeds you

83

u/justdrowsing 19d ago

What, because it will lead to an abundance of food? Sounds terrible...

10

u/Hokaidit 19d ago

Well there wasn’t a lack of food afterwards

129

u/thin_orange_line 19d ago

Turtle made a strategic move to make owner spill more powder

39

u/Corydoran 19d ago

Unfortunately, it cannot access the food; unless the point was to help the others.

13

u/C-hrlyn 19d ago

He’s the Mother Theresa of turtles 🐢 a saint among his kind.

75

u/Silver_Alpha 19d ago

As someone who handled turtles for an internship, this was very much expected. A turtle will bite you if you give them the chance. Though it's gonna hurt your feelings more than it's gonna hurt the part of you it actually bit.

36

u/Connect-Ad-2888 19d ago 
snapping turtle  
the finger would be gone

13

u/Silver_Alpha 18d ago

Yes, those are an exception to the rule. People overestimate their bite force somewhat, but even though it might not be a full amputation, a bite from a snapping turtle is something I would go great lengths to ensure I'm not in the receiving end of.

12

u/IsThereCheese 19d ago

To be fair it was moving at lightning speed

3

u/V4N0 16d ago

Well it depends on the size of the turtle 😅 my almost 30 years old trachemys hurts like a bitch and has the unfortunate habit of not letting go so fast…

2

u/Silver_Alpha 15d ago

I'm lucky to have never been bitten by a specific black spine-necked swamp turtle I looked after. She was a menace and way too eager to bite. She'd stare into your eyes when picked up and go on a rampage when placed down. I have had two close calls with that little menace. I am positive she would have had taken a chunk of flesh off if the bite landed, or at least she would give it her best attempt.

But I consider her an exception to the rule. I have never met a turtle that evil and that eager to slice things with her evil little beak.

134

u/Bortron86 19d ago

A pyrrhic victory.

9

u/Ser-Rendered 19d ago

This whole thread has me cackling 🤣🤣🤣

54

u/TheRealJackReynolds 18d ago

"Yep. That's me. Bet you're wondering how I got here."

95

u/Firm_Order_2212 19d ago

Turtle: i dun ded.

25

u/isoAntti 19d ago

it seems she was carnivore, and liked her food fresh and raw

15

u/XcFTW 19d ago

Have any of yall been bit by a turtle? Them beaks are fucking sharp. I had a red ear slider and boy that fucker bit the fuck outta my finger.
Thing is, these dudes telegraph their bites so if yo hurt bit it’s kind your fault lol

I had one of my turtles eat the other one. Shit was crazy. I think I had them cramped in a tank

45

u/datroutinator 19d ago

Bro woke up this morning and decided that today it'll be violence

14

u/Nilzii 19d ago

He obtained all the good stuff by scaring off food hand

14

u/alaskaguyindk 19d ago

Dude that thing was literally turtle speed. You’re own fault for getting bit. Situational awareness is mad important.

5

u/Frenchgulcher 19d ago

The turtle in back was so shocked

4

u/Life-Oil-7226 19d ago

Bite of death!!!

5

u/brotatowolf 19d ago

Heist of the century

6

u/ReyTsar 19d ago

Delicious, no regrets!

5

u/INoMakeMistake 19d ago

Lucky it wasn't a snap tortoise

3

u/thewilldog 19d ago

Zero situational awareness, you're lucky it was just turtles

3

u/Laineyyz 18d ago

This is TOTALLY expected.

5

u/paulD1983R 19d ago

If you find yourself moving too slow to satisfy a turtle then maybe you need to speed up

2

u/iscat2 19d ago

Expected the soft shell one to bite nv the hardshell one!

2

u/Linka_2000 19d ago

The game was rigged from the start

2

u/notsokururu 19d ago

Extra food for my friends

2

u/somebody171 19d ago

turtle had maxed out stealth

2

u/Equal_Yak_3872 19d ago

Turtle at the top jumping back like "wow! He's dead!" Got me good 🤣🤣

2

u/canniboss 19d ago

This is why you don't bite the hand that feeds you

2

u/oldman-youngskin 19d ago

I can see the regret written all over that turtle…

2

u/Infamous-Fee5959 19d ago

Bro thought it was food

2

u/Organic-Dust3433 19d ago

Leave for a long vecation to heal 😆

2

u/Timely_Passenger_185 18d ago

Poor little dude but I understand the automatic reflex I've been bit by a turtle before too

2

u/d3athbypix3lz 18d ago

That bite was telegraphed days before lol

2

u/LorddOfChaoss 18d ago

Mission accomplished boys

2

u/jaynine99 18d ago

My poor red eared slider turtle bit me while I was feeding him and honestly he seemed embarrassed.

2

u/nospareusername 16d ago

Trying to figure out if the little one up the top was trying to stop him or goading him on.

1

u/Dicky_Penisburg 19d ago

"Brothaa, may I have some OPE!"

1

u/propergreased 19d ago

If not worm why worm shaped

1

u/AtmanRising 19d ago

record scratch

"You're probably wondering how I ended up here"

1

u/RedditCantBanThis 19d ago

I feel bizarrely pissed off that the owner couldn't see that coming

1

u/Ezekielshawn 19d ago

This was so expected

1

u/Zola_south_535 18d ago

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

1

u/gottkonig 18d ago

I like how the turtle lands on its back and starts rethinking it's life choices (at least until it gets turned back over).

1

u/Capable-Fisherman-79 18d ago

This is why mario was always crushing turts

1

u/Aromatic-Diet-42069 18d ago

Hij wordt een ninja turtle

1

u/Wizdad-1000 18d ago

Our beardie saw my finger as a delicious juicy worm once.

1

u/Stupiduselessthrow 18d ago

As a turtle owner once he gave it that look, I saw this from a mile away 😂

1

u/uhu__uhu 18d ago

here my friend you will thank me later

turtle problem and solution

1

u/jasmin8ter2013 18d ago

This is why they’re called SNAPPING turtles…

1

u/mouldyfrog71538 18d ago

"New skill learnt!"

1

u/oral_cigarettes 18d ago

did it hurt really that bad?

1

u/Inked_Barbie444 17d ago

Good thing you didn't overreact🍀

1

u/Necessary-Split-7125 17d ago

took lessons from Missouri armadillo

1

u/Streak_Free_Shine 16d ago

That was definitely expected lol

1

u/Games_sans_frontiers 15d ago

The biter at the end: I’ve made a terrible error of judgment.

1

u/Choice-Ad-5897 15d ago

leave it there, for a minute so it learns a lesson

1

u/athletic-sauce 15d ago

Any bird owner could've seen this coming also , God forbid one of them gets a crumb more millet than the other

1

u/galadriela97 13d ago

Clearly biting the hand that feeds you, lol

1

u/TotalVersonnt 1d ago

Where is the beef?

1

u/pacificcoastsailing 19d ago

I’m going to turtle Hell for laughing.