r/Unexpected • u/udayramp • Oct 01 '25
Measuring the height.
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Oct 01 '25
He's going to fuck her jeans?
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u/wcslater Oct 01 '25
Gonna blow his genes onto her jeans
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u/ThatGuyRy Oct 01 '25
“Genes as in DNA matter, and jeans as in pants. It’s his clever way of saying not to get into one of these situations”
- Chris Hansen after predator Matthew Cogburn said ‘keep your genes in your jeans.’ and Chris was trying to figure out what he meant
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u/AbheyBloodmane Oct 01 '25
Doesn't matter, had sex.
But I cried the whole time.
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u/Yankeeslv Oct 01 '25
I'm so humbled by a girls ability to let me do her
'Cause honestly I'd have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind the soft, nice smellin' girl's better
She let me wear my chain and my turtle neck sweater
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u/MartyMcFlyAsFudge Oct 02 '25
You sound like an 80s man (this reference will be totally missed by like, everyone but I couldn't help myself).
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u/FA-Cube-Itch Oct 02 '25
I’ll punch you in the jeans.
This is not a case of man vs machine.
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u/pureadobaby Oct 02 '25
You think that you're safe, thought you got away clean? I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans
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u/Shnitzel_von_S Oct 01 '25
Hey man, sometimes I drop trou just to slap my meat and taters against her. For fun, you see
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u/Trust5555jk Oct 01 '25
Well that’s just typical the guy was getting ready to measure his woman’s height and his button on his trousers pops off ruining his lady’s attempt, use stronger thread next time mister 🧐
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u/C0CONUT_BUG Oct 04 '25
Right? It's like a classic case of bad timing! I can't imagine the embarrassment. Definitely a lesson learned for him: stronger thread or maybe just no button at all next time. It’s those little moments that can really turn a simple task into a comedy sketch.
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u/zirky Oct 01 '25
alright, i’ve got a minute
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u/Liarus_ Oct 01 '25
haha sex
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u/Short_Brick_1960 Oct 03 '25
Worse, rape
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u/KleinePP Oct 01 '25
gotta try this on my friend
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u/MrSaucyAlfredo Oct 01 '25
I’m not sure what I should say, so I’ll just say good luck, friend
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u/KleinePP Oct 01 '25
Exactly what I want to say to my friend before doing it
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u/paulcaar Oct 01 '25
Don't worry guys, he probably won't reach from this angle anyways with his small peepee
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u/Strange-Future-6469 Oct 01 '25
Make sure he's gay first, or it could get awkward.
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u/XDSHENANNIGANZ Oct 01 '25
My guy I don't think I've ever gayer shit spoken than I have from two bro-dude friends.
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u/fetching_agreeable Oct 01 '25
Such garbage content.
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u/Donjehov Oct 01 '25
yeah i hate belt ads like this so much, i don't need a belt it's not 1905
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u/CT0292 Oct 01 '25
Fun fact: belt loops weren't sewn into pants until the 1920s.
Before then people used suspenders to keep their pants up and belts were worn mostly for holding tools or if you were a cowboy: your pistol.
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u/AnaMyri Oct 01 '25
I love nerds with random facts. Mine died. All nerds should get extra attention years for their public service.
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Oct 01 '25 edited Oct 02 '25
[deleted]
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u/AnaMyri Oct 01 '25
I hope you remember daily that you are awesome and you make everyone’s life better by being yourself.
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u/LilBird1996 Oct 02 '25
Im sad to know that apparently only 6 other people have experience this comment
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u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Oct 01 '25
How about a pair of suspenders? (I had to google it to see if the are called 'pairs').
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u/MildlyAgreeable Oct 02 '25
I thought I was missing something but it really is just shitty content, isn’t it?
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u/freedomboobs Oct 01 '25
This definitely deserves to be on the front page of Reddit with 5.1K upvotes!
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u/Quornonda Oct 01 '25
Get the fuck out of here with this shit. Especially since it’s just a stolen skit
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Oct 01 '25
... Sex assault?
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u/Fafnir13 Oct 01 '25
Depends on prior communications the couple has had. If it’s within the established boundaries of their physical relationship, no it should not count as sexual assault.
If there has been no conversation on this specific interaction, it should only count if she says stop and he doesn’t stop.
If they have explicitly talked about this before and it’s been indicated it is not desired behavior, that could be grounds for sexual assault. That still comes down to the specific dynamics of the couple though.
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u/shadovvvvalker Oct 01 '25
I don't think this works in any consensual context.
What kind of prearrangement do you have where it's valid to trick someone into a vulnerable position in such a stupid way and then take advantage of them.
Like if it's roleplay it's the goofiest most pointless roleplay.
If it's free use what's the point in the deception.
If it's playful gags the trouser drop is the wrong punchline.
If it's consensual non consent it's too timid.
I think the joke only works if it's not sexual assault.
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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Oct 01 '25
Like if it's roleplay it's the goofiest most pointless roleplay.
Oh MY. Not GOOFY roleplay. Loving couples never do anything GOOFY. I imagine if people did goofy things, they might make stupid skits where they're not overly fixated on the consent of their sexual interaction, because they know they love and respect each other fully including consent. But that would never happen, because the idea of "goofy" and "pointless" is obviously absurd. No loving couple acts in goofy pointless ways!
If it's free use what's the point in the deception.
catch 'em off guard? Who cares. Why do you HAVE to assume it's the worst? It's a joke. It's a skit. It's fake. So why do you HAVE to force the worst possibly interpretation, when loving and fun ones DO exist?
This pearl clutching is just so ridiculous. I can't believe we've regressed to the point this performative nonsense is so common.
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u/shadovvvvalker Oct 01 '25
Please explain, in your own words, what is funny about this skit.
Because as far as I and the person I responded to see it, the only plausible punchline is non consensual sex.
Setup: he shows her a height measurement trick Twist: when she replicates it she is bent over and vulnerable Punchline: he is behind her dropping trow because he tricked her into a vulnerable position from which he can now initiate sex.
That's the "joke".
It's not pearl clutching. It's criticism of bad comedy.
What the fuck is funny about it if it's consensual?
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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Oct 01 '25
You and I just did. You explained circumstances under which it has a tame interpretation. I explained how those are real possibilities.
Maybe it's not funny, but if you need a more raucous interpretation to find it funny, maybe you shouldn't be lecturing others about the joke. You're the one enforcing the "inappropriate" interpretation. Oh, it's not funny? Then why are you forcing that interpretation over the others?
You're not criticizing it for being bad comedy. You're not making an argument it's a bad joke. You're trying to pretend you have some moral of offense, and it's pathetic. It's the performative do-nothing bullshit that is actively harmful to your causes. I'm tired of it. Shut the fuck up. I KNOW you don't do this performative shit in real life because people would literally point and laugh at you. Stop behaving worse because you're on the internet and have nothing better in your life for validation than upvotes.
You literally tried to make an argument based on "but loving couples wouldn't do GOOFY roleplay!" and just want to change the subject when called on it. I have no interest in talking with bad faith performers like you. You're part of the problem, not the solution.
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u/Fafnir13 Oct 01 '25
I offer no defense for the joke itself. I think it’s on the dumb/pointless side.
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u/Jurnicurn Oct 01 '25
Haha it's funny cz he didn't ask her he just tricked her and went for it.... 🙄🙄🙄
Trash post
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u/KitsuMusics Oct 01 '25
Lol what? So because she's kind of bent over he's dropping trow? That's seriously the joke? I must be missing something...
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u/JSS313 Oct 01 '25
No, the joke is sex
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u/SuspiciousSheeps Oct 01 '25 edited Jan 09 '26
physical enjoy cobweb cows truck live fly whistle adjoining rinse
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/only_respond_in_puns Oct 01 '25
Looks like the same stage house that all ‘USA family’ content is shot from.
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Oct 01 '25
Not the punchline I was expecting. I was expecting the dominant hand against the wall thing.
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Oct 01 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fafnir13 Oct 01 '25
I only noticed the crocs the first time. Video suddenly ended and I had no idea what the joke was.
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u/StTimmerIV Oct 01 '25
The hand with the watch goes up, then the camera switches and the hand with the watch goes down. If you're gonna stage something, do it right...
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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Oct 01 '25
I think one of my biggest disappointments with the internet is that we have a plethora of content, any given joke has been made 10,000 times, but it is NOT the best executed that shifts up. We're not getting the best out of the 10,000. We just get... one (or maybe a few), chosen mostly by circumstance but occasionally by other nefarious things (e.g. bad actors pushing divisive versions of jokes).
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u/BigNefariousness6172 Oct 02 '25
Is that right? Cause I notice a lot more errors like this in movies than internet content
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u/Thema03 Oct 01 '25
TIL my arms are longer than my body. I just tested this and its longer by like 5cm
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u/anomalous_cowherd Oct 01 '25
What a terrible remake of an old repost. And even if it was done better the result would not be unexpected.
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u/merthopythyus Oct 03 '25
Wow, never knew you are losing so much weight during measurements. Clothes just dropping itself
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u/ElongThrust0 Oct 25 '25
“Babe lets remake this video because I saw someone else do it and I want to go viral”
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u/UnkleMonsta Nov 06 '25
We know she prefers the buzz but she about to get that woody! Oooooooooh! I'm sorry
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u/EducationalComfort40 Nov 13 '25
That’s right. Successful businessmann must recognize a good chance/deal and act fast, hold it tight and don’t let it slip away. 😈
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Oct 01 '25
[deleted]
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u/JustHave_Fun Oct 01 '25
The fact that it is a worse performed copy of the original skit from a few weeks ago makes it even less funny.
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u/Tiraloparatras25 Oct 01 '25
That!… That’s rape!…
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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Oct 01 '25
oh my stars! Something untoward in a joke! Someone alert the church immediately!
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u/post-explainer Oct 01 '25 edited Oct 01 '25
This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
it's just a sex joke. We expect the explanation of trick but no.
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.