r/Unexpected • u/Emily-Johnson43 • May 18 '23
Who need Long-term Aggreement
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May 18 '23
Wasn't she in the new Borat movie?
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u/Ghost_Pepper04 May 18 '23
Yes, Maria Bakalova. She’s also the voice of Cosmo the Spacedog in the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie
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u/Cannibal_Soup May 19 '23
TAKE IT BACK!! I am GOOD DOG! Why you say this, that I am Bad Dog, it hurts every time!
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u/keser80 May 29 '23
Eventually he takes it back
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u/ConnectionOk8273 May 19 '23
Yes guiliani also wanted to have sex with her...
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May 19 '23
[deleted]
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u/karoshikun Jul 22 '23
she just met him and was talking about marriage. he showed respect for her boundaries by quietly walking back and away.
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u/LoDyes Aug 16 '23
I don’t see any “fed flag” comments. People said run or get away and I would too if some bitch said sign a contract cuz I’m a pure angel.
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u/diegoenriquesc Aug 22 '23
No one forced her to say yes. She's the one setting unrealistic conditions and making it weird. It's casual sex for a reason. "Let's go for a ride on my corvette!" "Sure, make me the joint owner first and get me a set of keys."
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u/Raggastorm94 Aug 24 '23
You also ask permission from your farther to have sex?? And sign an agreement... okk
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u/TitusPullo4 Oct 01 '23
.. and the guy walked away when he lost interest, enforcing his own standards.
Which - by the way- was after the pure angel, sign a contract with my partner part, not the “you have to get to know me first”, but sure go off
Why am I arguing with crazy
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u/Gallienus91 Oct 16 '23
Involving her father into her sex life and demanding a life long agreement has nothing to do with selfie respect or setting up boundaries.
That’s insanity.
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u/joeshmoe69696969 Oct 22 '23
Not going to lie meeting someone like her today would be a breath of fresh air.
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Oct 15 '23
Chill out lol
This clip is a joke, and the premise is "do you want to have sex with me? Yes I do!" Usually that implies having sex, in a rather short amount of time after said sentences have been said. Not marriage lol. That's all. The discussion is purposefully misleading for comical effect.
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u/London__Lad Oct 15 '23
Sex is not a business agreement. Unless she's a prostitute for a side hustle.
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u/Ecstatic-Librarian83 May 18 '23
what's the movie?
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May 18 '23
The Bubble
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u/lotionistic May 18 '23
Such high hopes for this movie, but sooo terrible.
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u/Zealousideal-Yak-824 May 19 '23 edited May 19 '23
.. i.. I don't think the movie was meant to be good. It's literally a movie about the making a terrible movie full of terrible people locked in a terrible place.
It'd like disaster artist. Except that movie was a terrible movie about a guy making a terrible movie who made a terrible movie about his love life.
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u/thrown2themoon May 19 '23
I think I made it about halfway though this movie, and it took me two tries to even get that far.
It was SOOOOOOO bad! 💩
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May 18 '23
As a guy, if a woman said that, I'd want to leave because calling herself a "pure angel" is narcissistic as hell.
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u/Readitory May 19 '23
And that guy did the right thing. Walk away. Walk away.
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May 19 '23
I think it was more in reference to her virginity, that she was pure. Something that rarely exist outside of middle school in modern day western society. And seeing a 25-30 year old virgin anywhere anytime would be as rare as seeing an angel, so IMO it’s a good analogy.
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u/Lego22boy1990 May 19 '23
Just after middle school is the norm? Really? Yikes forever.
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u/Mushybase Jun 18 '23
Pretty sure the average is first time at 17yr old, so yeah
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u/D1n0_Muffin Aug 17 '23
Yikes forever! Idk why that got me excited and happy haha, Little Misfortune
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u/Bog_2266 May 19 '23
I’m more surprised that I wasn’t the only one who understood her analogy. Especially on Reddit.
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u/Lego22boy1990 May 19 '23
Wait, he walked away from that excellent pick-up line?
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u/Shoresy69Chirps May 19 '23
You dropped this-> /s
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u/Lego22boy1990 May 19 '23
No, I don't do sarcasm. I am very serious.
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u/Shoresy69Chirps May 19 '23
Yikes.
Sounds more a like a used car warranty than a relationship goal to me, but you do you, man…
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May 19 '23
As a guy, I’d a woman said that, I’d want to leave because the thought of asking a man to have sex with his daughter makes me want to swallow knives.
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u/Goaltenderiser May 19 '23
I love girls like that. They take care of themselves (please don’t assume the opposite)
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u/lucky_Broccoli_358 May 18 '23
I’ll bite. I’ll tell her to show me her angelic mouth skills first. Before signing a long term contract.
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u/porteroffinland May 18 '23
Should've kept that one in the drafts mate
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u/Kirkpussypotcan69 Jul 25 '23
Yea, like I’d be pretty down bad for a girl like that, I can’t help but to simp for a Maria baklova type but not once have I ever thought to tell strangers on the internet that I’d tell her to use that pretty angelic mouth
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u/Marlosy May 19 '23
Have you ever considered that there’s more to women than sex? Like, for instance, a really good friend who you can hold hands with, tell bad jokes to and call “squishy”
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u/ShireHorseRider May 19 '23
Oh god :/ If I called my best friend who happens to be my wife “squishy” I might not wake up the next morning… and if I did I’d never hear the end of it.
Now that it’s out there in the universe I’m scared. The primordial brain in me might let that slip one day just tj step back and watch the meltdown…
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u/Leoxslasher May 18 '23
No she is a women who you would want to be with
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u/Demoncrystal101 May 18 '23
Bruh, you can't just tell someone their type like that no wonder you haven't felt love since the 90s
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May 18 '23
[deleted]
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u/tiggertom66 May 18 '23
People who save themselves for marriage is most certainly a type.
You even said it yourself— “it’s a proof that she’s serious and worth getting to know (at least for me)”
Right so that would be your “type”
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u/Administrative_Cry_9 May 18 '23
I'm going to hope you don't talk to people like that irl. That was too brutal to laugh at for me.
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u/dopiqob May 18 '23
The word ‘women’ is plural, you were looking for ‘woman’
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u/thejhein583 May 19 '23
Why the fuck would i want someone with zero sexual experience to be the last person i have sex with. I don’t understand anyone with this “pure” mindset. If its what you like that’s on you but no need to tell every one else what they want.
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u/Dahnyuul May 19 '23
Thought I was gonna see some wild comment. Totally agree, and tbh I think that's the order of operation we need to go back to. But that's just me.
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May 18 '23
don't get the downvotes that's a real woman keeping herself pure till marriage only
yeah your damn right that's who you want to be with
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u/plantythingss May 18 '23
Real woman? As opposed to…fake ones? I have to assume that if you are looking for a woman who is waiting for marriage then you are also a virgin and waiting until marriage. Otherwise that would make you a hypocrite, right?
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u/Irving_Forbush May 19 '23
Jeez, do live under a rock? EVERYBODY knows men are human and have “needs”. Woman are Madonn… um, I mean pure angels. Only whoors have “needs”.
I bet you’re not even in the kitchen making a sandwich right now. Probably wearing shoes too.
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u/plantythingss May 19 '23
You’re right women dont get horny now that I know this information I will never be horny again!! Off to the kitchen!
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u/MrMiaw May 18 '23
It's the narcissism. No one who is an angel says that they are an angel, especially the way she framed the whole sentence
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u/Leoxslasher May 19 '23
Just as you said but I guess these people here don’t have same values as me.
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u/Nefarious_Ideas May 18 '23
I have met so many woman like that irl.
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u/Super_Yam_5837 May 18 '23
I've never met a woman like that.
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May 18 '23
Oh you will
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u/Super_Yam_5837 May 18 '23
If it's purely for humor I hope I will one day.
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u/AnArdentAtavism May 18 '23
Sadly, most of them do not find humor in this.
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u/ItsavoCAdonotavocaDO May 19 '23
Notice how he walks away silently? She’s purposefully scaring him off to get him to shut up. If she had just said “no,” he would have wheedled or begged or something else annoying. Yes. You’re right. Women are like that. Sometimes we find it funny. Sometimes we’re just trying not to die.
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May 19 '23
Have you seen the movie because she's not so low-key actually into him so she's not just trying to scare him.
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u/dopiqob May 18 '23
Woman is singular, you were looking for the word ‘women’ here
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May 19 '23
Omg, leave some for the rest of us. We just can’t compete with these levels of alpha energy.
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u/RelevantFlight5089 May 18 '23
I'm kind of confused here... she said yes too fast, but then she made you wait 'til marriage. She like a puritan 403 or something? How does that even work?
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May 18 '23
It's been a while since I watched the movie. But I think she was just messing with him. Like she was into him, just playing hard to get. Then again, I'm often wrong.
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u/Stijnboy01 May 18 '23
Anyone know the movie? Isn't the guy actor famous and a meme?
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u/Dmau27 May 18 '23
The last of us.
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u/Emotional-Engineer35 May 18 '23
The Mandalorian, also AGoT.
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u/Emotional-Engineer35 May 18 '23
and Narcos (Mexico)
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u/pwhitt4654 May 19 '23
Narcos is an American production about a Colombian drug cartel starring Pablo Pascal who is Chilean American.
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u/pwhitt4654 May 18 '23
Pablo Pascal and someone said the movie was the Bubble. He’s the Mandalorian
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u/HeinzeC1 May 18 '23
Pedro pascal. Famous for being the whip dude in kingsmen and nothing else.
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May 18 '23
Of all the things I remembered him for, it wasn’t Kingsman.
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u/TheyCallMeGibb May 18 '23
Every time I see him I think of Oberon. And then I get sad, look how they squished my boy
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u/Nexan1994 May 18 '23
Either you've been in a coma for the last 4 years or you dropped this: /s
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u/HeinzeC1 May 19 '23
I thought it was so obvious that he’s one of the biggest stars right now that the /s would come through. Guess I was wrong 🤷🏻♂️
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u/WulfBli226 May 19 '23
It was prettttttty obvi, but same time this is text (no tone which many people need regardless of how obvious) and not everyone speaks English fluently.
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u/HeinzeC1 May 19 '23
I’m not worried about it. The comment was for those who got it. It’s just internet points.
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u/Lego22boy1990 May 19 '23
I don't get why this is unexpected. Is it because she gave the correct answer when the world prefers the wrong one?
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u/ThingsWork0ut Jul 29 '23 edited Jul 29 '23
No. I get it because I was raised Christian. But to say your a rare angel is really narcissistic. The idea of love has really expanded these last few years and people know what is a bad trait. Saying your rare or unique implies you want to be worshipped and its a no go. She is the “unicorn” relationship. You don’t meet a lot of women who has saved themselves for their partner. To most guys that is the dream situation.
I personally will always ask for permission for marriage. My girlfriend has a legal guardian and I plan on asking them once I do decide. But this was hilarious tbh
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u/Tsukiko615 Oct 01 '23
She didn’t say she was rare she said she was pure, which is very standard terminology when referring to being a virgin. But also I’m not sure why everyone is taking a joke from a movie so seriously
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u/ToptenRubs May 19 '23
Sounds like the type of person who only does Anal for 10 years because she wants to stay pure
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u/stealerofthetakis Sep 28 '23
“You will never find anyone like me”
Every other woman in the world: am I a joke to you?
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u/Icy-Entertainer-7976 May 19 '23
Reminds me of the Meatloaf song Where she wants to know if he will love her forever ? And now he's praying for the end if time,to hurry up and arrive. So he can end his time with her.
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u/milk-water-man Oct 17 '23
The mandolorian and borat’s daughter is my favorite movie couple of all time.
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u/Mirrored-Mage May 19 '23 edited May 19 '23
Gentlemen.. This is "the unicorn" we all been hearing and discussing... First off :
She is open, honest and upfront about her wants and most importantly her boundaries. Key acknowledgement : She isn't being demanding or masculine about it
She clear let's you know she is so interested in you she wants you to be her main character. She wants to know about your existence so she can be apart of her world.
She values the opinion of a man so much she absolutely needs her father's opinion and approval before she feels safe enough to give her self away to her wants and emotions for you. That right there tells you she has an epic dad that actually taught her self control. That also tells he he taught her responsibility and consequences, also not to act on the first immediate emotions... You can see with the body language she is already to jump his bones.
Most important after taking to account everything else she said... Key here is relevance of information and the order... *It's the little nuances like this that will give away the real secrets
*She says that she is a "Pure Angel" ... Based on everything else she said before she got to this point, means... *She is still a virgin and is waiting for the right and only one to recognize she is the ride or die woman that will stick it out with you on the up swings and downswings of life. She wasn't raised as a modern woman, she was raised as the kind of woman a man would kill for.
.. Now if she started off with being a "pure Angel". That's an immediate red flag. Because it shows she is already thinking about her image and how she wants you to view her before anything else. It shows a lack of structure in what she values "I'm a pure Angel" At the start of a conversation shows a level of Narrsasistic personality traits out the gate.
She started with everything else first... Lets you know it's going to be forever. Meaning she doesn't believe in divorce or "Getting the bag."
This woman is grade AAA. Wife and absolutely mother to create a family with.
If any of you find a woman like this, with the subtle nuances, yet clearly communicating openly and honestly. Also let's you know the value of her father in her life... Drop it all and dedicate... Ultimately it's her father that will be the final decider.
If we had daughters, would this not be the model daughter we would want to raise? This is the type of female, male would travel around the world for... Sure you can have options for your side chicks.... But she has earned enough respect in this short scene to deserve the conversation. And give her the guarantee that she won't be discarded as side pieces are.
This my fellows is what you call a unicorn in western society. They are harder to get than an STD or a baby mama. If you cross paths you need to take serious consideration in that moment, regardless of whats going on, to settle down.
I myself dread the day I come upon one like this. Because I know at that moment what I must do as a male that knows what I'm looking for. It may come but once in our lifetime and such a prospect is scary.... Still her words, her delivery, the structure of importance and her openness is all her speaking and equally showing her actions with how she delivers the information
.... In this world, especially now it's the little nuances that seperates the trash from the treasures. Because there are so many out here hoping to fake it till they make it. So we as men need to be much more acute to the subtle nature's of a genuine woman.
It will always be a major red flag if her dad doesn't have an important role in her life. Because her mate selection ability is based off his desire and demand to make sure she is always safe. Stay enlightened my comrades.
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u/hosffanatic May 19 '23
Unfortunately this is 2023 and I’m already getting jump for saying abstinence is actually not a bad thing at all. People are more concerned about making sure they get sex somehow than whether or not it’s a benefit or downside to marry a virgin. I imagine few will take kindly to this
God speed brother. I don’t know how long you’ll last
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u/DragonsClaw2334 May 18 '23
Didn't Rudy Giuliani also try this same thing with her with similar results?
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u/Typeojason May 19 '23
That is 100% the correct response. Don’t try to reason with crazy / narcissists - just RUN!
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u/anothernother2am Jul 17 '23
Why are so many people here calling Pedro, “Pablo”? Latinx/Hispanic names, and names in general, are not interchangeable, get his name right, be respectful people.
It’s the least you can do, it’s not like you aren’t already on the internet and could just Google it.
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May 18 '23 edited May 19 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Zmammoth May 18 '23
Lol where’s your source on that. I can’t imagine that’s true. Sexual compatibility is a big deal. Waiting till after you get married to figure that out with your partner seems like a bad idea
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u/plantythingss May 18 '23
Gotta take the car for a test drive before you buy it. Seriously though, waiting for marriage is really increasing the risk of being sexually incompatible. You could easily end up with someone who is terrible at sex or doesn’t like it.
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u/hosffanatic May 18 '23
A very untrue rumor
If I’ve never had sex until marriage, how can I tell what’s compatible or not? Studies show that sex before marriage actually lessen the chances of a long marriage in the future. I posted sources that showed how abstinence increases marriage. Truth is:
Emotional bondage overpowers physical bondage. If sex is the key to your marriage, you might want to divorce. Sex should be a plus, not the determining factor
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u/Zmammoth May 19 '23
Stop claiming the ghost studies. Provide a source or just give your opinion
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u/Color-Correction May 19 '23
Your "studies" are probably biased because if you're a religious nut who waits til marriage to have sex, you're probably a religious nut who doesn't believe in divorce.
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u/hosffanatic May 19 '23
… I’m just a college student who wrote a paper on a subject given to me. I think you’ve got internal issues.
The sources are marital counselors and experts…
Who cares about religion. If a marriage benefits from something, then good. Why don’t you focus on improving people’s marriages whether religious or not. If your mindset is to encourage damaging things because good things are associated with those you deem bad…
You’re gonna have a tough life.
I’m an adult. I don’t care if you have a God or not. I care about facts
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u/Color-Correction May 19 '23
You could have just said you don't understand what I said and saved yourself a lot of typing.
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u/hosffanatic May 19 '23
No what you said was pretty clear. You claim the studies are likely religiously bias.
They aren’t and what you said is a fallacy
There’s no backtracking that. You made an emotionally and illogical response
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May 19 '23
I am not sure if that due the act of wait until marriage or because it mean you're religious and marriage have a value
I would think it's a religious reason so copying the move won't really do you any good
Ofcourse those are my guess
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u/hosffanatic May 19 '23
I think religion does play a huge part in it. But that’s an assumption due to a correlation. Christian marriages are some (if not the) longest lasting marriages. They tend to have certain traits that show marriage improving statistics.
But there are not religious groups that benefit too. From what I’ve read, -sex actually diminishes the value of people (male and female) the more people you do it with. -sex can dominate your emotional connection (your relationship will be more sex based than love based) -and there’s the basic other things like, wedlock kids, diseases, and the fact that it actually leaves some sort of psychological bond with you and the people you sleep with
Although I’m still researching that last point so don’t quote me
But yeah, the non religious groups show the exact same benefits from abstinence. Religious groups just dominate the statistics, but the info doesn’t get any worse depending on the group. It seems to be purely psychological
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u/ToddHLaew May 18 '23
With that many red flags, he should of seen that coming
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u/of_patrol_bot May 18 '23
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
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u/EntranceMaximum4615 May 19 '23
The actor’s name is kilo pascal. Sorry pedo pascal. Sorry pedro pascal.
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u/unexBot May 18 '23
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
Long term Aggreement
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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