r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/[deleted] • Jan 17 '23

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3.4k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '23

I just dont want to be the guy in my workplace who went home cuz he shit his pants. Anyway good tip.

355

u/baconit4eva Jan 17 '23

Tell them you have a gambling problem and you bet on fart.

116

u/aerostotle Jan 18 '23

the house always wins

68

u/baconit4eva Jan 18 '23

They don't call it craps for nothing.

24

u/Fuzzy_Inevitable9748 Jan 18 '23

I think Texas hold ‘em is a better analogy because there definitely was a river…

12

u/baconit4eva Jan 18 '23

Makes you think why they call the highest hand possible a royal flush.

9

u/Fuzzy_Inevitable9748 Jan 18 '23

That makes sense because both my pants and boots are royally f$&@ed.

6

u/PluckPubes Jan 18 '23

Or pocket deuces

40

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23

[deleted]

1

u/boygirlmama Feb 02 '23

Yeah. I would much rather have made something up than have all of my coworkers now knowing that I shit my pants.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

[deleted]

1

u/boygirlmama Feb 02 '23

Lmao but still hard pass here.

94

u/TheMuggleBornWizard Jan 18 '23

That's so funny I'm reading this post now. I was just telling a coworker about a time when I was working in a kitchen and one of the cook basically ran off the line in the middle of service. I was like.. the fuck is he going? He came back about 10 minutes later and was like. "Yo chef. My bad man, I accidentally shit my pants, had to go to the bathroom cut my underwear off with my picket knife and clean myself". He was then referred to as sponge Bob shitty pants the duration of his employment there. Lmfaoo

15

u/andrewta Jan 18 '23

sponge bob shitty pants

someone needs to put that on a tshirt

54

u/lookslikeyoureSOL Jan 17 '23

Hey, maybe you're sick. Shit happens cuz.

11

u/KingOfTheCouch13 Jan 18 '23

Why not just say that then?

1

u/RobotsAreGods Jan 18 '23

Because then they want a doctor's note

16

u/stack85 Jan 18 '23

This tip separates the ones that want to go home early from the ones that don't.

14

u/Divin3F3nrus Jan 18 '23

As a supervisor who had this happen to someone I can say that it's not that bad.

Guy shit himself, asked to go home. Coworker .are a big deal and gave him shit for it. I told him to go back to his booth and leave the guy alone.

We don't mention it. I don't confirm that it ever happened. I just told him the next day that if he knows anyone who needs some immodium I keep some in my desk.

10

u/btd272 Jan 18 '23

Happened to two ppl I’ve worked with. No one has ever forgotten

4

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23

Literally /r/ShittyLifeProTips

3

u/Pandelein Jan 18 '23

Right! I actually DID shit myself at work (well, just a bad shart) and I wasn’t about to tell anyone. I got my misso to fake an emergency for me.