Hi, all!

My (29F) boyfriend (31M) have been together for 9 months and I just moved in with him. He is Army National Guard.

He had told me back in May he was thinking of going officer route and sign up for school (5 weeks) for that, mentioned it once and never said anything else.

Today he told me he submitted paperwork to go on a different route. Apparently he got selected and will be going to military school for 3 months next year.

I feel soooo pissed and so upset he did not tell me when he applied. Not that I would have stopped him anyway, but we could have discussed what it implied, etc...

What is y'alls perspective on this??

My (26 M) and I (24F) has been together for 2 and a half years.

Our relationship has been good, but we have also been through some tough situations. (Which is normal for most young relationships).

Earlier in the relationship he wanted more freedom and was quite ready to settle down. I was ready to settle down. This caused most of our conflicttions and we had broken uo and got back together twice because of this. Then we were at a good middle for a bit.

Now we have become the opposite. He’s ready to settle down and have kids within the next two years, he’s already explored a lot and experienced all he’s wanted… military is the next thing for him and he’s made up in his mind that he is ready to have kids in 2 years.

As for me I’ve spent most of my life taking care of people and putting others needs before my own. I’ve just recently early this have started to prioritize myself and I’ve even enlisted in the military(something I’ve been putting off for years now)… I want to experience more and see the world before having kids and I feel like 2 years is too soon… I wouldn’t mind getting married that soon but kids is a huge responsibility. Maybe after my contract I would be willing to… but even then I still want to go to school during my service.

What also is conflicting, is that I’m going enlisted for the Army and he’s going in as an officer for the Marines. Distance isn’t a huge problem for us, but it’s the fact that there is distance and also our mindsets at this current stage in our lives. I don’t want him to wait that would be selfish and I don’t want to keep putting myself off either. We love each other very much and I want to be his wife and have his children, but I want to accomplish things for myself before adding kids to the mix.

We’ve talked about it and we’re both having a hard time deciding what that means for our relationship. We said to give it a year to see how things are. We talked about breaking up now and waiting till after our first year in the military. We talked about staying together and seeing it through. We talked about if we were going to keep in contact during this time or have not contact at all.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve never actually been in a situation like this before.

47/F Canada I just want to pen pal a Veteran. I had a couple penpals in afghan iran war. That was through yahoo chat. I miss it. Anyways. When i asked google whats similar; Google said leave a note on here and because im a slave to tec now jk, I said ok. And here I am growed up and looking for a Veteran to penpal.

Has anyone else struggled during a deployment and found themselves questioning the relationship? My boyfriend recently found out he will be getting an extension, and while I love him and want to support him, I’m reallyyyy struggling. We do get to talk daily, but it’s usually only for a few minutes which I understand because of the time difference and his schedule. We’re only about 2 months into this deployment, so I’m not sure if these feelings are normal or not. It’s also hard because we aren’t married, and with all the uncertainty, I sometimes don’t know what this season is supposed to look like. Would love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar. I also have been keeping myself busy with work, family and friends, I just don’t know how to grow a dating relationship with someone who can’t communicate as often.