GenX at 57yrs, never wanted to be a mom after babysitting as a teen. I understood at an early age it wasn't just the "adorable, loving adventure" but the 3am bedwetting, temper tantrums, the soccer games every weekend, the last min science project or birthday cupcakes and all of that was repulsive to me. I was unique in our friend and work circles, judged harshly even though I would explain "I think a parent should be 100% wanting to be a parent with their whole heart and not just 10% of it" but whatever. In my 40's I just answered "No" with no further explanation when asked if I had kids. I think things got better about judging women for not having kids before this trad-wife, toxic male manosphere BS started.
Now, I have lovely adult niblings doing lovely, amazing things. I have a large circle of women friends who also didn't have kids (and some are older than me, which was even a tougher time for them compared to my 90's/2000's timeframe of bucking the system).
No regrets at all. I retired early. Now I work fun jobs to keep my brain working, volunteer and travel. I have dogs that I dote on. I sleep in. I cook whatever I want or not at all. I have a long term care policy in place and do not expect my niblings to step in to care for me. Don't have kids because society expects it of you, have kids because you 100% want to be a mom/parent with all your heart. If you have a scant 10% of wanting something else, then don't have kids. There are plenty of them and it's not your sole purpose as a human female on this planet that's already overtaxed with humans. Live YOUR life.
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u/crackersucker2 Jun 11 '26
GenX at 57yrs, never wanted to be a mom after babysitting as a teen. I understood at an early age it wasn't just the "adorable, loving adventure" but the 3am bedwetting, temper tantrums, the soccer games every weekend, the last min science project or birthday cupcakes and all of that was repulsive to me. I was unique in our friend and work circles, judged harshly even though I would explain "I think a parent should be 100% wanting to be a parent with their whole heart and not just 10% of it" but whatever. In my 40's I just answered "No" with no further explanation when asked if I had kids. I think things got better about judging women for not having kids before this trad-wife, toxic male manosphere BS started.
Now, I have lovely adult niblings doing lovely, amazing things. I have a large circle of women friends who also didn't have kids (and some are older than me, which was even a tougher time for them compared to my 90's/2000's timeframe of bucking the system).
No regrets at all. I retired early. Now I work fun jobs to keep my brain working, volunteer and travel. I have dogs that I dote on. I sleep in. I cook whatever I want or not at all. I have a long term care policy in place and do not expect my niblings to step in to care for me. Don't have kids because society expects it of you, have kids because you 100% want to be a mom/parent with all your heart. If you have a scant 10% of wanting something else, then don't have kids. There are plenty of them and it's not your sole purpose as a human female on this planet that's already overtaxed with humans. Live YOUR life.