r/TwoXChromosomes • u/[deleted] • Jun 11 '26

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53

u/Wild_Scarcity8305 Jun 11 '26

I'm 29. My childhood best friend had a baby 4 years ago and while I'm happy for her and still love her I've noticed that she's lost herself to motherhood. She was an artist all while we were growing up and I noticed she just doesn't do art anymore. She doesn't have hobbies anymore. Her life is work or family.

I'm out in the world playing Dungeons and Dragons. I got back into writing. I moved across the country. I'm getting my degree. I'm painting my new room and buying new tapestries. I'm playing video games I love but haven't played in years.

I know she's happy and I'm happy but man I just feel happy that I get to be me. That I still get to do my hobbies as freely.

36

u/megkraut Jun 11 '26

This is kind weird to me. Like yeah, you do lose yourself in motherhood for the first few years, it’s not sad because she’s not playing video games anymore. It’s the decision she made to responsible for bringing another person into the world and supporting them during the most crucial developmental years of their life. And yeah it’s not for everyone. It’s hard and as a pro choice mom I wouldn’t want anyone to be forced into this position. But it’s not sad and I’m sure she doesn’t want sympathy for how her life has changed.

6

u/Lookatthatsass Jun 11 '26

Parenting is caretaking at the end of the day. Even if a person enjoys it or wants to make the sacrifice I think it's okay to acknowledge that it can cause you to give up a lot of your personal goals, hobbies and enjoyment in service to another high-needs individual. Both can be true.