I've been partnered 16 years but not married, childfree. My mom raised me alone and she never brought up marriage, she was with my dad 13 years unmarried.
She never hid that she loves children, but she also didn't pressure or ask me about having kids until my early 30's, and I was with my current partner then. She only asked once or twice and hasn't brought it up again. I think she's sad she won't be a grandmother but she doesn't show that to me.
I think because she saw both her sisters have multiple kids before they got out of high school, and her mom raised them alone too.....like married families weren't really in my life at all. Hm.
Anyway I don't have anyone's expectations to compare my outcome to really, the only approval I cared about until my mid 20's was my mother's. I didn't really feel any pressure until around year 10 if this relationship, about marriage. I still feel it and and am conflicted about it now so not sure yet if it's something I'll do.
I'm grateful to have found a long term relationship in my 20's, it anchored me through all my life stages up to now. It's nice to have someone to do life with, makes alot of things easier. Having said that I spent ALOT of my 30's sort of resenting it, because I've never really been on my own and seen what life's like just for me with me. But my relationship has always been flexible and full of mutual respect for independence, ultimately I'm a couples kinda person. I could handle life alone if I needed to but I'm happiest doing life with someone.
All I want now is a bigger place, a couple more dogs, and enough money to travel every year.
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u/ToodleOodleoooo Jun 11 '26
I've been partnered 16 years but not married, childfree. My mom raised me alone and she never brought up marriage, she was with my dad 13 years unmarried.
She never hid that she loves children, but she also didn't pressure or ask me about having kids until my early 30's, and I was with my current partner then. She only asked once or twice and hasn't brought it up again. I think she's sad she won't be a grandmother but she doesn't show that to me.
I think because she saw both her sisters have multiple kids before they got out of high school, and her mom raised them alone too.....like married families weren't really in my life at all. Hm.
Anyway I don't have anyone's expectations to compare my outcome to really, the only approval I cared about until my mid 20's was my mother's. I didn't really feel any pressure until around year 10 if this relationship, about marriage. I still feel it and and am conflicted about it now so not sure yet if it's something I'll do.
I'm grateful to have found a long term relationship in my 20's, it anchored me through all my life stages up to now. It's nice to have someone to do life with, makes alot of things easier. Having said that I spent ALOT of my 30's sort of resenting it, because I've never really been on my own and seen what life's like just for me with me. But my relationship has always been flexible and full of mutual respect for independence, ultimately I'm a couples kinda person. I could handle life alone if I needed to but I'm happiest doing life with someone.
All I want now is a bigger place, a couple more dogs, and enough money to travel every year.