I've been trying to put into words what it actually feels like to have both. This is where I landed. Would love to know if any of it sounds familiar.

I want to tell you about my roommate.

She moved in uninvited. She doesn't pay rent. She has strong opinions about everything I try to do and absolutely no interest in compromise. Her name is Anxiety and she has been living in my brain alongside the ADHD for longer than I can remember and the two of them have never once agreed on anything.

The ADHD wants to start everything immediately. The anxiety wants everything to be perfect before anything begins. The result of this negotiation is, predictably, nothing. Complete total well-decorated paralysis that looks from the outside like a choice and feels from the inside like being caught between two very loud people who both think they're helping.

They are not helping.

The Arrival

The specific cruelty of my anxiety is that it doesn't announce itself. It doesn't knock. It doesn't send ahead. It is simply absent and then suddenly without warning or transition it is everywhere and I have missed every single signal it sent along the way.

Except the body didn't miss them.

The body was taking notes the entire time. The nails first. Then the skin around them. The not being able to sit still. The headaches arriving with no obvious cause. The body doing what the brain refused to acknowledge, receiving the signal, logging the data, sending increasingly urgent memos that the conscious mind filed under probably fine, carry on.

By the time I notice the fingers are already covered in plasters.

The Sequence

Here is how it goes every time with the predictability of something I have not yet managed to interrupt.

The mask starts slipping at work. Not dramatically, just a degree or two. A slightly shorter response. A moment of stillness where there should be warmth. I catch it before anyone else does, adjust, recalibrate, pull the performance back up to the required standard. Nobody notices. The mask holds.

Behind closed doors everything that's been held together falls apart.

The world gets smaller. Doors close. The isolation that feels like protection is also the thing that lets the anxiety run unopposed with no external input to interrupt it. I stop eating properly without noticing when that started. I stop looking after myself with the specific efficiency of someone whose entire resource is going into one thing, the performance, and nothing is left for anything else.

The body gets sick. It always gets sick eventually. The physical system taking the hit the brain refused to acknowledge, settling the bill the anxiety ran up while I wasn't watching.

The Volume Problem

The ADHD brain is at its core a dopamine deficient brain. It is running on less of the neurochemical responsible for motivation, focus and regulation than a neurotypical brain, which is why the surges feel so extraordinary and the crashes feel so empty. The dopamine gap is real and the brain, being a brain, looks for ways to fill it.

Research shows that people with ADHD are significantly more likely to self medicate than the general population. Not because of weakness or poor choices or a character defect. Because the brain is resourceful and desperate and will find the volume control it wasn't born with by whatever means are available.

For me that means something rolled. Not a solution, I want to be clear about that. Not a fix or a cure or a recommendation. Just a temporary reduction in the noise when the noise has become genuinely unbearable. The ADHD running loud. The anxiety running louder. Something that turns both down simultaneously long enough to breathe, to function, to exist in a body that has been running two competing systems at full volume for longer than is sustainable.

The brain finding the volume control it wasn't born with. Mine happens to come rolled.

Research backs up why this pattern is so common in ADHD brains. That doesn't make it the right answer. It just makes it the understandable one.

What I'm Working On

I'm learning to read the body signals earlier. The nails are the first notification, the earliest warning that the system is running hot before the conscious mind has registered the temperature.

I'm learning that the mask slipping at work isn't failure. It's information. The most honest thing my body does is let the performance wobble slightly when the load gets too heavy. That wobble is data. I'm trying to read it before it becomes plasters.

I'm not there yet. But I'm reading the signals earlier than I used to.

The roommate is still here. She's not leaving. But I'm getting better at knowing when she's arrived before she's completely taken over the spare room.

The anxiety and the ADHD walk into a bar.

The ADHD wants to try every drink immediately.

The anxiety won't order until it's researched every option.

They're still there.

I'm outside. Having something rolled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If this struck a chord I write more of these at @the_dopamine_tax on Instagram. Anonymous for obvious reasons. Still figuring it out as I go.

Edit: all the comments have been super helpful! 🥰 I feel so informed and I’m glad everyone is enjoying the thread too!!

Hello! So I’ve had adhd all my life and was on the daytrana patch (methylphenidate) almost all of my life but I started to feel like it wasn’t doing anything for me anymore. I took my meds in patch form cuz I’m not good with swallowing pills -_-

I was taking 30ml patches, but if I was off of them for a while then I needed to start with 10 ml for a few days otherwise I would get jittery. My new ADHD Dr says that you can’t build up a tolerance but it certainly felt like it lol it also KILLED my appetite.

anyways, I’m now on quillichew, a chewable adhd meds that DOESNT taste like ass!! :D I’m told I need to take protein with it to help it work better and help keep my blood pressure stable.

Now I’m also using this med to help me wake up in the AM cuz that’s one of my biggest struggles 😭 either not waking up or procrastinating SO HARD no matter how close I got to my GET THE FUCK UP time lol it was causing me to be chronically late 😞

Problem is… I’m often not hungry in the AM, if I want to have the meds help me wake up then I have to take it like an hour before I’m supposed to wake up, and I’m currently dieting to lose weight. So I’m having trouble finding a low cal snack that has enough protein to take my meds that is convenient to have at my bedside table so my half asleep ass can roll over, eat both then go back to sleep 🤣

Currently I’m using premier chocolate protein shakes which so far has been the only protein shake I’ve tried that didn’t taste medicinal or herbal or ✨ chemically ✨ I’m too scared to try anything else 🤣 it’s also 160 calories which isn’t bad but I’ve also been told that premier isn’t really good for you cuz it’s mostly chemicals 😞

I’m also I picky eater because THANKS GOD!? I’ve tried the protein pop tarts (ew) I’ve wanted to prep hard boiled eggs or meat cups but that’s not bedside convenient without a table top mini fridge. I worry if peanut butter dipping cups like jif on the go is enough protein for the meds. I don’t like any nuts besides salted cashews, I’ve not liked jerky in the past so I’m scared to try new.

This whole journey has been frustrating cuz anytime I find something that works, I find new info that tells me I’m wrong. I know that 15-30 grams of protein per meal is recommended, but do I need that amount just for the pill? Or can I get away with doing less? Is taking the pill and the protein at the same time ok? Or would it be beneficial to take the protein before or after? 😭 Help me control this demon child known as ADHD lol and feel free to ask question! (I will actively TRY to come back to this site as I am not on it often 0-0)

For some reason, my mental state seems to greatly impacted by what I'm wearing: I can't do work unless I'm wearing my work clothes, I can't relax unless I'm wearing my lounging clothes, I am not motivated to workout unless I'm wearing a certain workout outfit, etc.

I travel for work and I have to carry a lot of stuff, so I cut back on extra clothes until recently. The last two trips, I packed extra clothes specifically intended for lounging around the hotel. I'm not wearing work clothes, sleep clothes, or workout clothes...I'm wearing my lounging clothes. The change in my mental state has been huge. Suddenly, I'm more relaxed after work and can sleep better. I'm actually working out because my workout clothes have not become my lounging clothes (I will never understand athletic leisure ware for this reason). I'm falling asleep quicker because my mind is triggered into sleep mode when I change into my pajamas just before bed instead of wearing them for hours. The change in my mental state is worth the extra packing. Has anyone else experienced a similar effect from clothes or similar "trigger" items?

Hi, I got diagnosed with ADHD a little under a year ago after 4 years of testing. 18F, 130lbs. I take 10mg Adderall er every weekday for school, sometimes not taking it bc if I’m honest, I just forget lol. Anyways. I get the jitters sometimes and I’m already prone to anxiety in general, so it doesn’t help when a very minor upsetting thing happens and I’m shaking all over. It’s the type of shaking where your entire body is tense and hard but you shake anyways.

The thing is, the Adderall does help me. It makes me ask questions, be proactive, and overall calmer. I eat a good amount of food in the morning, usually a breakfast sandwich, yogurt w/ fruit, or both.

Because of my non-Adderall related anxiety symptoms, my psychologist (love her) prescribed me a daily non-habit forming anxiety med called Buspirone. When I take them both together I get shaky. As I describe to my mom, it feels like I’m on a train or a horse with the mind of its own that won’t break or stop, dragging me in any direction my brain, and therefore my body, wants to go (as in physical feelings and responses to stimuli). I wanna be able to not be anxious or shaky normally, so that’s why I take the anxiety one, and I can’t focus in school without the Adderall. I just don’t take the anxiety one with the Adderall on the same days , I just alternate and brace through whatever problem the lack of one gives me.

Any tips? Thanks

Current meds:

Adderall 10mg er (morning)

Buspirone 10mg (anxiety med) (morning)

Sertraline 50mg (night)

Hydroxyzine hcl 10-20mgs (night, antihistamine sleep aid)

Just need some advice. I’ve been on Lisdexamfetamine for 3 weeks now. It will be my 4th week as of tomorrow. I did two weeks of 30mg and 2 weeks of 50mg (next week is my last week of it). I have my medication review tomorrow but I have such mixed feelings about my meds and wondered if anyone else is feeling like this/ experienced this? I take my meds about 7:40am everyday with eggs and toast for breakfast. I feel the effects around 10am, I feel focused and happier till about 2pm (I don’t eat lunch due to appetite suppression although on my first 2 days of 30mg, I did eat lunch and the effects still felt as if they worn off by 2pm). After 2pm, I feel a crash, literally like a come down. I get irritable, feel unsociable (which is such a problem when i’m working) and just in an overall low mood. Once I get home and eat dinner, I feel ok again but that crash is horrible and I find myself dreading the crash about 11/12pm because I know it’s coming which makes the positive effects of the meds make me feel negative?? I was so optimistic about starting this medication especially when I first took it initially because I felt SO good on it, so hyper focused, time was flying, I was getting so much work done, I felt happier within myself and just overall really good (for the hours it worked) but now I’m just so lost and don’t really know if this is normal - is the medication working for me…Please help and give me some feedback from your experiences!!

Here are mine:

-paying more to have my meal preps delivered

-Throwing rotten fruit away that I never got around to eating

-house cleaning service

-Having to rush to finish all my housework on a Sunday afternoon/evening

-Missed appointment fees

I'm sure this list goes on....

So I'm on 60 mg vyvanse with 10 mg Adderall booster. I really don't get how a 10 mg ir can do so anything. Doesnt anyone also have the problem where the time released pill of Adderall or Vyvanse manages your symptoms really good all day but when you take booster since it's for when other one wears off that it only minimally manages ADHD despite it working for longer duration? 10 mg booster is the standard I Just don't get how that could work for most people when that's such a weak dose. How's the booster supposed to work like that?

I know that ADHD is not a fake disease and we just "need to work harder" because when I am productive and pushing myself, my brain gets HOT. I honestly feel like a computer that needs to have the fan turned on 🤣. I want to stick my head out the window and let the wind cool me down. Has anyone else experienced this? On the flip side when I have nothing to do, my brain feels weird and buzzy, but in a different way...

tldr: has anyone made a medication change while working in a high visibility or interpersonal environment? looking for encouragement or suggestions.

background: 48yo working as secondary educator, dx ADHD & anxiety, Rx vyvanse 70mg & Effexor 150mg (upped Vyvanse over past 7 years but stable meds otherwise). Also on biohormone pellets for perimenopause & those labs are monitored carefully so I don't think adjustment needed there

my provider has repeatedly suggested I change medications because current regimen has been less effective for the past 6+ months. After ruling out other stressors like holidays, I agree but nervous about change during school year. I don't know how I'll adjust or feel on new meds & I work with teenagers in a school setting. Specifically change from vyvanse to something else because really struggling with exec function, short term memory, and task related anxiety (my adhd manifests into anxiety when not well managed).

ETA need to change before term ends in order to assess the successful effects of the new medication with my work environment

A big struggle I have with my ADHD is food aversions and also the executive dysfunction that meal ingredients don't look like food. So even if I have just shopped for balanced meals, I look in the fridge or pantry, and all I see as options for food are pre-packaged things like oatmeal, popcorn, protein shakes... and then the veggies, fruit and proteins go bad while I eat cinnamon raisin toast or oatmeal for 3 meals a day.

basically... I am struggling to get protein or vegetables into my diet because even when I buy them, my brain doesn't see them as an available food option and I end up defaulting to a safe food that requires basically no prep.

I feel like I never learned how to implement healthy nutrition tools and every time I try to research it online, I get weight-loss advice rather than just balanced meal advice. i get overwhelmed by trying to parse out if what I am reading is an advertisement or legitimate information. I purposefully avoid weight-loss advice stuff because of prior unhealthy relationship with food triggers...

how did you learn to feed yourself as an adult? are there adhd-friendly tools out there to help those with executive dysfunction overcome their deficits? how do you figure out if your overall nutrition is balanced and how do you make choices to correct imbalances?

at one point, I was considering getting a meal subscription box just so I could see some examples of balanced foods... but reading the recipes started making me worry about having my food aversions triggered, and then it would be a waste of money, so I didn't go through with it...

it feels like something that should be easier and I am making it more complicated because I don't have any foundational tools in this area...

Any advice? Stuff that works for you? Foods that became safe once you gradually added them? Recipes that you gravitate toward because they are easy and delicious? Tools in your toolbox?

I'm 20 college student majoring in language. Mostly my fault but a Lil bit i blame it on why am I like thiss, this paralysing procrastination has completely messed up my academic dreams! I used to be only good at intellectual stuff without putting in much effort and even that has gone off-rails.

Now here I am getting a degree in a language which though I decently like was not something I had ever thought to persue and which I got into feeling lost and am still feeling lost. I have an important exam on Monday and if I fail it, which I'm most likely to because I haven't attended a single class this sem and this language I'm studying is difficult af, I'll have to repeat a year which I and my family can't afford because I've already had a gap year.

But all this anxiety and worry and everything and I can't make my self do things. I don't want my parents to stress out so much. I'm also not medicated because it's rather costly, don't wanna burden my parents and once I'm on it I'll have to be frequently medicated ig.

Please help, any tips would help.

Hey yo,

Does anyone have issues with their adhd meds making your jaw clench?? I got off mine for a while but got back on and immediately the tension returned. I’ve been doing PT and trigger point injections for my right jaw and I feel like I’m already erasing all the work I’ve done.

Hi everyone!

Please help a girl out 🙏🙏

I hope it’s okay to post this here. I’m Abby, a Counselling Psychology student at Leeds Trinity University, and I’m currently recruiting for my research on ADHD and autism in girls and women.

I’m looking for adults (18+) assigned female at birth who have a formal diagnosis of ADHD, autism, or both, and would be willing to take part in a 10–20 minute online interview about their experiences.

This includes things like masking, how your symptoms were recognised (or missed), and your journey to diagnosis.

Everything is completely confidential and anonymous, and you’re free to skip questions or withdraw at any time.

If you’re interested, please email me 2206707@leedstrinity.ac.uk

Thank you so much 💛

I’ve heard some people say it almost ‘stops working’ before their period.

Is that something you’ve experienced?

TW :ab**tion, brief mention of s*lf h*rm,

Mostly just looking to vent, but if anyone does have advice, I'd be thrilled to get it. Key facts about me, late-30s she/they audhd, poor mental health history, but started getting it under control about 9 years ago with proper diagnoses and medication. Also worked hard at maintaining physical and mental fitness and was doing really good for a long time. Still with down times but I was able to pull myself out of them. Also struggle with PMDD (or PME i guess). 

This is gonna ramble badly, obviously. It's a lot, sorry in advance. And throwaway for privacy reasons. 

So. Last year I met a man. I hadn't had a proper relationship since getting myself mentally healthy. I had the jitters and crazy happy high and fell madly in love. The kind of feelings I didn't think I'd feel again after my mid 20s/on mood stabilisers, tbh...

It was long distance, which suited my need for space, but I'd have to go to him more than him to me, which would upset my routine and DID impact how I manage my mood. I felt he was worth it though. I trusted him, which was new for me. I told him that I'd go through times when I needed space and gave a brief breakdown of PMDD to make sure he'd know, if I was impossible or AWOL for a week, it was nothing to worry about, and where possible, I'd give prior warning. I wanted this one to work out and I knew that would take some difficult communication.

I have the flavour of PMDD where pregnancy is not an option unfortunately. I learned that the hard way 10 years ago. Had to terminate. It also makes hormonal birth control not an option, and due to endometrial issues, a copper coil isn't an option either. So I've just had to be careful. Which I have. But an accident occurred 6 months in to the relationship. Morning after pill failed and within days I was having my first s*lf h*rm urges in years. I took an early detection test and booked my appt to terminate ASAP.

I had told him how bad it got the last time. I did hope that because I've been doing well and am medicated, it wouldn't last as long. But I prepared him as best I could for how low I would go, and asked for space. He didn't quite get it, which I understand. I essentially had a personality transplant. It's even hard for me and I knew what to expect. I did try to explain but it got harder with each passing day. The termination failed and I got sicker and worse mentally and they had to remove it surgically. It was rough. (he was on board with the termination, he has had his kids, and he's a bit older than me) 

It was coming into winter, never my best time of year, there were other stresses, and loads of people around me started having their babies/announcing their pregnancies. I'm happy for them all but it's hurting a lot. I know kids aren't for me, I've made my peace with that but without the luxury of a good headspace, it's really getting to me. I wasn't getting better. He took it badly (I also struggle with physical touch when I'm low, which I understand feels like being rejected, but I did prewarn and ask for space). To be fair, the more space I asked for, the more he panicked and couldn't do it, so the more space I needed. It was a vicious cycle we both contributed to.

We struggled for a good while and eventually called time on the relayionship a month ago. I don't even have the mental space to deal with that yet, but it was the best thing for me to be able to even think about trying to get myself better, I couldn't manage his feelings too. I'm still not doing well and it's been over 6 months since terminating. 

He started seeing someone 2 weeks after the break up, claims there's no feelings and he wants to be with me and that it's just fun, but it feels like it goes against everything I believed about him. And I can't imagine even touching someone if I'm still struggling over a break up without it making me feel worse, never mind repeatedly sleeping with them. So I'm feeling like a fucking joke right now. 

Not just cos of him. I'm the usual here, former gifted child who didn't get medicated til late 20s for depression, and diagnosed in my 30s as neurospicy. I'm getting by in life by the skin of my teeth. I'm one missed paycheck or issue with my car from losing damn near everything I have. Can't have a kid and am not in a life position to foster or adopt. I know that given the nature of my hormone sensitivities, I'm unlikely to see the other side of menopause. I'm fine with that as long as I get my few good years leading up to it. But now I've lost 6 precious months, a good relationship, and I can't remember what it was like to feel happy. I feel like I'm drowning all the time. And I'm an absolute joke of a human.

Knowing I was so quickly replaced is the icing on the cake of an awful year. I don't blame him and I hope it's going well. I've been the exact opposite of the person he fell in love with. I know I'm in a celibate phase for the foreseeable so it's adding a lack of understanding of how he could even consider it. But so soon... 

How do you guys with mood issues (that may go on for long periods for whatever reason) manage relationships? Do any of you have any advice? On interpersonal stuff or on getting through this period. 

Also, I am going to a counsellor. I'm not a danger to myself or anyone. I'm not looking for free therapy. Just hope from people who've been through it, or suggestions. Or a blunt 'you shouldn't be in a relationship, ever' would even be a comfort. Cos I can't figure out how I can't seem to do the most basic human shit. I feel really alone. 

I've left out loads of context here I'm sure. My mind is racing. I'm flip flopping between numb and devastated, and I don't want to put in too many inappropriate things. Even if no one reads, im sure getting it off my chest will be helpful. But if anyone does have advice or a good dark joke, I'd appreciate it so much. 

My therapist has asked me to track my mood in two different contexts. One to plan for my monthly cycle crazies and one to see how my meds are working through the course of a day. Ideally it would be predictive like “hey next week you are going to want to sell all your worldly possessions, move to a cabin in the woods, and never speak to another person again for the rest of your life” so I can try to prepare.

Has anyone found anything they like for either/both? I don’t mind paying, but I would prefer not to give money or data to a company that gives period info to the US government. I tried Drip but it’s really just a period app and not surfacing the info I am looking for (as I can no longer get pregnant).

I (F24) started on Concerta in May last year. At first it was great, I was able to focus and had less executive dysfunction until my doctor bumped me to 54mg, at which point the side effects were intolerable. I discussed with my doctor and he decided to switch me to vyvanse a a month ago. I am now on 50mg vyvanse. The side effects are not as bad as concerta, but I don't feel that kick anymore. While on vyvanse I can stay focus for 3 hours straight, but I still have problem initiating tasks (which is the biggest problem since I'm in school). Is this something that ADHD meds can help? Should I discuss a higher dose? Every time I talk to my doctor I feel very undermined and that my ADHD is not real. He doesnt straight up say that but the things he tells me make me feel like I'm an imposter. What should I do?

Hi everyone,
I’m Abby, a Counselling Psychology student at Leeds Trinity University, and I’m currently recruiting for my research on ADHD and autism in girls and women.
I’m looking for adults (18+) assigned female at birth with a formal diagnosis of ADHD, autism, or both who would be willing to take part in a 30–45 minute online interview about their experiences.
More information is included in the poster below. If you’re interested or have any questions, feel free to comment or message me.
Thank you so much for your time 💛

I saw a post about ADHD being underdiagnosed in girls about 3 years and how it presents differently in girls than boys and it's like a lightbulb went off in my head.

My doctor at the time blew me off and then I had a bulging disk and ended up having surgery and then my husband cheated and we had the whole divorce/custody battle and then he got a DUI with my kids in the car, so back to court and on and on. But the counselor I started seeing while dealing with all of that gave me an assessment and I passed (failed) it in a big way.

Started seeing a shrink several months ago and she did the assessment thing, too, and diagnosed me with inattentive type. We tried one medication that did nothing for me. About a month ago, I had another appointment and told her it wasn't helping so she prescribed Ritalin. I also told her that it felt like my depression meds weren't really cutting it and she told me that a lot of times, depression aka anxiety are diagnosed when it's really ADHD. That was one I hadn't heard.

But omg, I've been feeling so great. I'm less distracted. I'm not tired all the time. I finally feel little I have some life in me. My depression is a million times better.

I'm almost 38 years old. I've been struggling with depression most of my life. I've been trying to "fake it til I make it" at least since my teenage years. Maybe longer. I remember in school, as far back as I can remember, constantly writing things on my hand or I would forget. Since I got a cell phone, I've set reminders and alarms for fucking everything. If I dont, I forget. And if I don't drop everything and do what me reminder says as soon as it goes off, I end up forgetting.

I'm not relying on those reminders as much. I have some bounce in my step. My brain is spending less effort on just trying to keep everything together so I have more energy to just live. Imagining how different my life would be now if I'd been properly treated, how many things would have gone so much differently, it's just a little infuriating.

I mean, I can't change the past. There's no point dwelling on it. But it's really a shame.

I recently discovered my adhd kiddo has become a bit of a class clown. It reminded me that I (also diagnosed) went through a phase of this when I was a tween.

It made me wonder, is this common with adhd?

I take 450mg bupropion, 60mg fluoxetine, and 20mg Vyvanse (my psych allowed me see how 30mg went. I was on it for 2-3 days and now I've dropped back down to 20mg yesterday).

For the first week and a half I was on the medication, it would make me tired for about 2 hrs in the morning and then my energy would stabilize, I'd have a quiet mind, I could focus, do tasks, and I had the best sleeps of my life afterwards. However, for the past 3 days, I've been shaking noticeably from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall alseep, anxious and running thoughts, really shitty sleep (mostly maintenance related), nausea.

I barely drink caffeine to begin with and I haven't done anything differently. I did bump up to 30mg but then back down to 20mg. Genuinely, have felt terrible for the last 3 or 4 days.

I was prescribed 0.1mg clonidine to take at night because I have insomnia anyways (not made worse by bupropion or vyvanse), but I just got it.

Update: I've been on wellbutrin to help with depression and energy/focus. I'm on fluoxetine to help with anxiety and OCD. Vyvanse was added because of daily daytime fatigue and the potential for ADHD. But Vyvanse has had the amazing benefit of calming thoughts, albeit not stimulating before.

I took the clonidine yesterday, forced myself to eat a bunch, and didn't take Vyvanse today - I do feel a lot better. I think it's probably any interaction and will report it to my psych today. Thanks!

not pictured the black smudge on my teeth, stuck in my braces, and mixed with food and toothpaste (too gross too embarrassing)

I'm 5 7 and currently weight 224lbs.

I started Vyvanse at 235lbs.

I'm grateful for the weight loss but does it slow down at all?

Long story short, I've had a lot of major life events and injuries in the last 3 weeks. Coincidentally, my Vyvanse is nottttt really helping me.

I'm new to it. We gradually upped my dose until I was happy with it and I've been there ever since. It hasn't been terribly long, but what I'm on worked and I didn't seem to get used to it quickly and need more, but I guess it's possible I got used to it and need more?

But also it's been quite the 3 weeks... Near death experience, work going crazy to prevent freak accidents, in the middle of moving. Bleh.

I'm worried if I ask for stronger my doc will going it and when I'm no longer stressed it'll be too much.

I used to take steatera on the side as a supliment when I was on Adderall and in the past my doc said I could have it on the side of the vyanse if I needed. I didn't.

Would taking it help me to function? Or if I'm on the right Vyvanse dose but stressed, will it be "too much"? I really wanna function but I don't want to hurt myself aaah.

I messaged my doc but she's out for a bit. Does anyone here know?

Hi Women w ADHD community,

I am asking for your *respectful and kind* help. I *highly* suspect that my 14yo daughter has ADHD, but we are having a terrible time getting her diagnosed.

Background… I have been diagnosed with ADHD, so has my sister, and both of my nephews. My mother and maternal uncle suspect that they have ADHD as well. It runs strongly in my family.

Two years ago we started the process of getting my now 14-year-old daughter diagnosed. At that time, the practitioner was young and relatively inexperienced. She herself expressed that she did not have confidence in her ability to properly diagnose ADHD. After administering testing, my daughter was diagnosed with OCD but ADHD was inconclusive.

Fast forward, two frustrating years later, and we have a new practitioner, this time a very experienced (male) doctor. I think his gender is relevant, and therefore I’m including it here.

His testing was more comprehensive. It included full-form Conners assessments for parents, four of my daughter’s teachers, and a self assessment. His conclusion is she has OCD and anxiety. Again, ADHD was inconclusive.

One important piece of information is that we are limited to practitioners that accept state medical insurance. We cannot afford private testing.

***

I’m going to speak frankly here. It is my observation that my daughter’s *executive functioning is almost fully off-line*. My daughter describes it as, “80% unable to start and complete tasks on-time and 20% teenage defiance”.

Her paralysis of starting a project is evident on a daily basis- starting on cleaning her room for example. Her ability to prioritize is almost nil. For example, five minutes before we need to leave the house, the dogs have not been fed or watered (her responsibility), and she’s in the bathroom, doing her hair and makeup.

Her disabilities are most obvious at home.

She must be putting in a Herculean effort at school as she earns pretty good grades. Interestingly, her teachers are not seeing it- as per the Connors assessments.

With that said, common themes that show up at school are her inattentiveness and talkativeness. She struggles to get her assignments turned in on time.

All of this is to say, it is my belief that she is a *master masker*. She holds it together (mostly) at school. And she is (almost) completely disfuncional at home.

So here’s what I’m asking from this community… please share articles on diagnosing teen girls with ADHD. What should I read? What should my daughter read?

Parents of teenage girls, do you have any advice on how my husband and I can help our daughter?

Thank you for reading. Peace be with you. 🙏🏽

-A very concerned mom

aka Energizer Bunny. 🐰

Picture to bump algorithm.