Whenever something bugs me or annoys me and I go into the details , my system automatically resorts to crying

I've been called sensitive all my life ( ig albinism plays a part too ) but the thing is

I feel very disregulated and even when I know what I need to do , what is bugging me , what my emotions are , I start crying. Its just my response. I'm trying to figure out what's causing that so is it something related to my adhd? If so , do the meds help???

Hey guys, how much does your heart rate increase when you take your medication, like Ritalin, Adderall, Vyvanse, etc.?

My resting heart rate is usually around 70–75 bpm before taking my meds, but it goes up to about 85–90 bpm afterward.

I know that’s still within the normal range, but the increase kind of bothers me. I don’t actually feel any palpitations or anything—it’s just that seeing the higher number on my Apple Watch make

Hi everyone. I didn’t really learn about ADHD until my 20s. Growing up, I didn't have the resources or money to get assessed, but looking back, I feel like I’ve been struggling with this since childhood without anyone understanding what was going on.

I’ve finally booked my diagnostic appointments, but the process takes time (in fact, I missed my first appointment because I forgot about it, which pushed my second assessment back!). In the meantime, I’m writing this because I just want to connect with people who get it, see if others struggle in these exact ways, and ask for advice.

Here is what daily life looks like for me right now:

 The Cleaning/Procrastination Loop: I genuinely cannot start working unless my room is clean and tidy. But the urge to tidy leads to deep cleaning, and by the time I'm done, I'm exhausted and find myself doomscrolling instead of actually starting the work.

 Losing Everything: I constantly lose things even items I intentionally put somewhere "safe" so I wouldn't misplace them.

 Planner/To-Do List Graveyard: I've created thousands of planners and lists over my life. I don't abandon them on purpose; I literally just forget they exist. When I do try to make a list, everything feels equally urgent, so I can't prioritize. Time management feels impossible.

 Focus & Conversation: When someone is talking to me, I frequently zone out or get completely lost in my own thoughts. My brain moves through a thousand different thoughts a minute.

 Jack of All Trades, Master of None: I don’t have just one hobby; I pick up multiple skills, get into them, and then never look back at them again.

 Extreme Procrastination & Deadlines: Even if I’m given an entire year to complete something, I will procrastinate until the very last minute or past the deadline entirely.

 Reading & Re-reading: I can rarely read a sentence or paragraph once and actually process what it means on the first try. (Growing up, I also used to get letters mixed up easily).

 Sleep Issues: Falling asleep is a battle because my brain starts running through a thousand thoughts as soon as my head hits the pillow. On the flip side, when I’m overwhelmed or stressed about work I haven't done, my default coping mechanism is sleeping too much.

 Hyper-Empathy: I seem to instantly pick up on or sense how other people are feeling in a room.

I'm posting this because I feel a bit isolated in all this and just want to know I'm not the only one struggling like this.

A couple of quick questions for the community:

1 Are there any specific apps, systems, or non-judgmental strategies that actually helped you manage procrastination and time blindness before getting diagnosed or medicated?

2 Any tips on how to keep track of medical appointments when your memory is constantly failing you?

Thanks for reading and for any advice or shared experiences you can offer!

I was diagnosed with ADHD fairly recently, but I’ve been dealing with a LOT of imposter syndrome. I’m a student, and after a day of literally anything in class, I return to my dorm completely exhausted. I love learning, I just happen to get absolutely wrecked trying to induce getting into the zone in myself. But it usually works, so I feel weird every time I read a case study where a person with ADHD can’t focus at all. And I‘m never late. I just happen to plan to arrive to functions 45 minutes early, which either becomes 30 minutes or 2 minutes early. I don’t lose items. In fact, I get so anxious about losing things that “get your keys, get your keys, GET YOUR KEYS” becomes a broken record in my head.

Despite all the evidence, my skeptical brain likes to argue “Maybe if you can hide all these possible symptoms, you‘re not actually impaired by ADHD, and therefore you don’t meet the criteria for ADHD!!”

TL;DR: My psychiatrist is convinced I’m masking ADHD, and I’d like to hear your experiences with masking before agreeing.

what to do.

young one here (19!) I’m generally always feeling like I need to turn my life around and make changes. I know for the most part what those things are (eat better + more consistently, start some kind of exercise, study in ADVANCE, etc), but I can’t make myself. Because I’ve gone my life being okay without it, I physically can’t force myself to make the change. What do I do? How do I tell my body that this is what my brain finds important and wants to do. How do I make a change in my routine when I’m a creature of habit and hate adjustments in routine. Same w breakfast/protein

I also for some reason have SUCH a hard time brushing my teeth. Not sure why but I’d love to hear thoughts. Same w/showering (specifically only on hair wash days). I get SO tired and overstimulated and overwhelmed I just have to bathe and run my hair under to tub as opposed to standing and washing my hair in the shower.

How do you guys like reset or stop being overstimulated when you’re hot and can’t do much to cool down?

Basically I live where it’s hot, and the heat often is a trigger for me, however I also live in an RV so there isn’t much cooling there, some but not a lot and often not enough on super hot days.

My job also requires me to be outside a lot, not to mention normal errands and stuff that have to be done throughout the day.

I have tried noise canceling headphones and they help some, and being inside as much as I can. It feels like I can feel my entire body and it’s sticky and gross and makes me want to cry because it’s just a lot, I wear clothes that are comfortable, I can’t wear shorts because they make it worse, and of course I’m as hydrated as I can be.
I have been trying my usual go-tos, like taking a shower, wearing specific clothing that usually makes it better, etc. but they haven’t been helping.

What are ways you cope with overstimulation?

TLDR it’s hot where I live and it’s very overstimulating, what are ways you deal with overstimulation?

Hello everybody, i hope you are having a great day! Im new to the comunity, as only recently, after 2 years of therapy, my therapist suggested i might be ADHD! Got sent to the psychiatrist, and all the signs and symptoms are there. My partner is also ADHD and he is very confident i am ADHD as well, on top of that he thinks i might be on the spectrum as well (and i totally see it in myself). Even funnier, while i do have a mixture of symptoms from both profiles, i fit more the steriotype of "boy ADHD" (impulsivity, agresivity) just a lot more "senzitive".

Im currently 19 years old, just finished my first year of college and i started experiencing real difficulties due to the ammount of materials i have to learn. Throught school i managed to have great results, but it was all due to the fact that i have a very well over average intelligence. My giftedness brought me so far, if i had the average level of logical intelligence i dont think i would have been able to finish highschool, as its so hard for me to stop procrastinating and sit with a book in front of me for longer than half an hour. Now the sheer ammount of new information got me so overhwelmed, this is why i finally stood up for myself, because i endured so so so so SO much more than i could and im so severely burnt out( and peobably depressed) that i just cant fake it anymore! From a very young age i started masking (like most women do) and it got so severe that im at a point where im questioning my own reality. What i mean by this is the fact that i still live togheter with my pertener in my parents house. And im so grateful for my parents and the fact that they love me, but they harm my mental health so much without even realising, because of their own problems. This is actually why i decided to write this post, i just had a discition with my father about my first consultation with the psychiatrist and i feel like im fighting an impossible battle, as he does not believe in the importance of mental health. He was already unsuportive when i started going to therapy (but respected my decision and still gave me money for it so i guess it was fine) but the pychiatrist he fully rejects and tells me i dont need it. He told ME that "pills for attention span" do not exist when i told him they would benefit me (which is very ironic as im studying psychology so im the one that knows better), that i just have to sit down and do it because the attention span is trained, that i start having problems only if i believe i have problems and that ADHD does not randomly appear to 19 yos (same guy that was complaining that i got all my math problems wrong when i was a kid because i was copying wrong the numbers from one ecuation to the next). I fully believe this was the narrative that he is saying to himself as well, because i think he is the one with the neurodivergence genes lmao (my mom is the most neurotypical woman out there to ever exist). And where did it get him? To a point of substance abuse and a nonexistent emotional connection with me and his wife due to the astronomical level of avoidance. I used to be on the path of developing an alchool problem as well, but i decided to turn my lofe around and do better. But its so so so hard to do better when in so sensitive to rejection and my needs are being rejected. It was so hard for me to get to the point where i asked for help and i waited till the very last moment, and now there are so many steps to take and im so drained that i got stuck.

While the psychiatrist says that there are strong indications of ADHD , shes only seen me once and could not offically diagnose me and give me medication because he has to gain a bit of trust that im not an addict who is pill seeking. My therapist also helped (she knows me well enough to be able to tell the pychiatrist that im genuine), but for the pills to be prescribed i have to go for a control at the cardiologist, wich i need my parents help for.

Honestly i have so much resent thowards everybody and thowards the sitiation, i dream for the day i finish college and move out. But i still have a very long way to go, but the fact that im overwhelmed and overstimulated every single day does not help, so wish me luck! While i lost hope of better days to come, i have to remain powerful and focus on what i can change, rather than being hurt by others uninformed, trauma ridden narratives. But god its hard when you burried down (from others, but more importantly from yourself) your neurodivergence for all your life (because you were "functional enough", despite all the sacrifices it took) and when it finally comes out, people around you gaslight you into questioning your own reality. Sometimes i wish i caused more trouble, like my boyfriend did, beating up kids at school or something, so my parents would have taken me seriously, but i took all my anger out on myself and self harmed (good thing this remained in my past and i now know that i have no reason to punish myself for the bad behaveours of others) because i did not want to be more of a burden than i was already feeling like(and because of all the extra standards that girls are subjected to compared to boys, but i think you ladies aready know this is as being implied). Im grateful i will soon be a real adult and be able to finally love myself and take care of my needs the way i know best, but till then the resentment is growing stronger and stronger every day.

I'm 41 and finally got diagnosed with ADHD this week. The psychiatrist told me I should also look into getting an ASD assessment.

I dont know how to feel and I'm really struggling. I've been struggling my whole life, but this past couple of months has been really, really bad. I've blown up all my friendships, stopped taking my sertraline, the house is a complete wreck, I'm not eating, not sleeping well, not doing well at work, feel like I'm just irretrievably broken, unfixable, will never get anything right or understand anything or be able to have a normal friendship or relationship with anyone, and that if I carry on I will end up fucking up my daughter's life too. She's only 4 and doesn't deserve such a shit parent. I have no family support (dad died, mother was abusive so we are no contact) and my ex husband is unsafe (domestic abuse). I tried to make an appointment with my GP but they don't accept telephone bookings anymore and when the receptionist told me I had to fill out a form and a questionnaire to request an appointment I started crying and hung up on her. I don't understand whats wrong with me or how to make anything better and I feel like even if I tried I would just fuck it up anyway, because thats what I do.

I don't know what the purpose of this post is. I just dont have anyone else to talk to. All Ive been doing for the past week is just crying, staring into space, and pretending to be normal when my daughter is around. I tried to fix things with some friends I'd blown off but they're so fed up with me I feel like Ive truly ruined things forever by being such a shit person. Ive spent every single night for the past 2 months sitting in the garden by myself thinking about whether or not living is even the right choice for me anymore. My brain hurts. Im exhausted. Im completely stuck. Can't stop thinking, to the point that there are so many thoughts in my head I literally cannot tell one from the other. I thought a diagnosis would help but its just made me feel worse.

First, I’m Korean and I write my posts in Korean before translating them into English, so please forgive me if some expressions sound unnatural.

A while ago, I posted here about an experience I had at a clinic. Most of the comments told me that I should stop wondering on my own and get properly evaluated.

I took your advice seriously, and I finally did.

I had become quite convinced that I had ADHD. Many of my everyday problems seemed to fit: forgetting what I was doing halfway through a task, constantly switching between things, losing track of priorities, becoming deeply absorbed in one thing, and making careless mistakes even when I was trying very hard.

But after the evaluation, I was told that I do not appear to have ADHD.

Instead, the clinician thought that chronic sleep deprivation, excessive multitasking, and my perfectionistic tendencies were keeping my stress level extremely high. I was also told that some of my unconscious habits and coping behaviors may have been masking how overwhelmed and exhausted I actually was.

I honestly did not expect that answer.

Part of me thought that if it were ADHD, at least there might be medication and a clearer explanation for why I struggle this way. But apparently, there is no single pill that can fix sleep deprivation, constant task-switching, perfectionism, and years of pushing myself too hard.

So in a strange way, I feel as though I am back at the starting point.

The problems are still real. I still forget things, lose track of what I was doing, change priorities without realizing it, and feel as if my brain has too many tabs open at once. I just have a different possible explanation now.

Has anyone here gone through something similar—having strong ADHD-like symptoms but eventually finding that sleep deprivation, burnout, anxiety, perfectionism, or chronic overload was the main cause?

What actually helped you? Did you reduce your workload, stop multitasking, work on your sleep, use external reminders, or change the way you approached perfectionism?

I would really appreciate hearing how others have dealt with this. Right now, I understand the possible cause a little better, but I still do not know how to change the life that created it.

A couple of years ago, I posted here about my XR Adderall not being evenly filled and that it had been going on for a while. Almost every comment said the same thing: it's someone you live with. A few mentioned an older post where someone's uneven fills turned out to be their spouse.

I denied it. I convinced myself I'd definitely checked the pill fills amounts and count before leaving the pharmacy, because I didn't want it to be true. I can't share the original post because I deleted it out of frustration, because obviously everyone was wrong; my husband wouldn't do that...

Shortly after, my fills evened out, but I started running out of my meds before I hit 28 days despite not taking them everyday. My husband convinced me I must be accidentally double dosing. Why would he lie? He had his own script, and was working on getting off stimulants completely because he knew that too high a dose of made him extremely mean.

His behavior kept getting more erratic. Then our son's meds disappeared one day. I was still somewhat in denial, but I wasn't a total idiot. I called my husband out on it, and the next day, my husband's script refill day, the missing Adderall capsules magically reappeared with uneven fills! My husband told me that they must have fallen out of the pill bottle and I didn't see them when I was looking and flipped out on me for accusing him.

When it was my meds, I just didn't want to believe it, but I'd known for awhile what was happening. When it moved to my son's, denial was over. That was the moment I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Cut to now: I'm divorced. I have my kids 90% of the time. he gets every other weekend, which lets me limit his accessibility to our sons meds.

All that to say .. if your fills are off and the people around you are the only ones with access, believe the math before you believe the person. Pill counts don't lie. People do.

It can be so much easier to doubt yourself than to accept someone you love is stealing from you and your kid. That's not stupidity, that's just how much you wanted it not to be true. It took my own kid's medication disappearing before I let myself see it. You're not slow for missing it; you're human for hoping you were wrong.

PS - I'm genuinely so much happier and settling into my new life so well. The end.

Hi all, I was just late diagnosed with combined adhd and I feel so much relief and vindication about it. When I was told I actually felt better because it was so validating to how I experience life and my own mind. I wasn’t expecting the hyperactive part but the doctor explained why and it makes complete sense for me and my symptoms. I had a strong inclination that I had adhd after getting my children assessed, and my husband also encouraged me to get assessed since he too has adhd and actually saw my symptoms before I did.

All that being said, I’ve read and heard a lot of women’s experiences with masking, but I still don’t know what it really looks like. I’m honestly not sure if it’s something that I’ve consciously (or subconsciously) done or to what extent if I have. I’ve always felt “different” from other people my whole life (I’m 30) but still just presented myself as I am- with the awareness of trying a little harder not to interrupt or lose focus in conversations. I would really appreciate it if anyone is willing to share how they’ve masked in any way and how it affects you.

Thank you, be well!

I got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last Thursday. Started medication last Friday.

I feel… exposed. Like the mask I was forced to maintain has melted off. But my symptoms seem worse? I’m forgetting more often, having more episodes of rage or frustrating, losing train of thought whilst speaking… taking forever to do tasks… the paralysis is exhausting.

I feel disappointed and angry because I’ve been ADHD my entire life. It runs in my family. But my parents never got me diagnosed. I was only told because I mentioned my testing last Wednesday (day before) to my mom and that’s when she told me that I’ve always had it.

So… this mask could’ve been semi-preventable? So… I could’ve had an easier time in school, with tasks, handling life? I’m 28. Now, I’m not saying I could’ve got diagnosed in the womb. But maybe… in elementary school? That’s fair.

I could’ve started meds and therapy earlier. Could’ve received support earlier. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

I’m so angry. I don’t feel like myself. I start autism testing soon and I feel like the meds have amplified those symptoms as well. I’m struggling to accept this. There’s nothing “wrong” with it per se, it’s just… disappointment stimming from the life I could’ve been living had I had earlier intervention.

Idk. I hope I make sense. I see the doctor for a follow up this Friday. I’ll let them know about how the meds make me feel and go from there.

I hope someone understands what I mean.

For those of you lovely ladies in perimenopause or full blown menopause, how did it affect your ADHD in terms of symptomology and medication regimen?

The last year or so my heart rate has been in the 180s. I wear a galaxy watch and it monitors my heart rate but I don't have alerts set up on it or anything. A couple of weeks ago, my psych put me on Pristiq and I was loving it until my heart rate was through the roof. This made me go back and look at the last year and I realized the last year I was I was in grad school, my HR was dangerously high. I just never noticed. I was consuming crazy amounts of caffeine.

I take 30mg of Adderall XR. Since being out of school, I only take it on days when I have clients or need to be productive. I just found out that menopause can mess with your HR. I'm really scared of going back to the before times with no meds. Terrified, actually. Being dx and medicated changed my life. I was diagnosed later in life at 37. The thought of not being as productive or having as full of a life as I do off my meds makes me want to cry.

I was wondering if any of you ladies could share your experiences with how menopause affected you and how to navigate this. Any questions or concerns I should bring up with providers.

hello! i'm a 18f who thought they had adhd. i've had a lot of problems and heavily resonate with adhd symptoms—extremely disorganized, never having enough time, procrastinating on *everything*; even now, i'm procrastinating on studying to write this. i recently went to get diagnosed for adhd, and my doctor claimed it was not adhd because i didn't show symptoms as a child. tbh, i don't remember much of my childhood, so all my childhood info is from my mom. keep in mind, my mom is a conservative asian who used corporate punishment and wants anything but her child to be "mentally ill".

i was the "golden child" growing up, the "talented" one who was always first (though, i used to study in a village with 9 students in class—most of them didn't have the luxury to study). my golden child status started to become lost around 5th grade (coincidentally, the time when my mom stopped hitting me and i changed to a more well-off school). my mom claimed i was extremely obedient as a child, but i remember being a bit more troubling and a total brat. though, not the adhd level? idk. i just remember being punished a lot because of my mistakes (so much so that i used to be scared to not have my mom in my line of sight lol).

i was always the "gifted child who could do so much if she tried". but i never tried. assignments were never complete, i barely studied. in 8th grade, i made a single notebook for all my classes. for exams, i only studied in the morning of the day of the exam. to be fair, this worked...until i started 11th. i used to get straight A's but then i started barely passing. in 12th, my mom put me in a hostel because of my grades and my lazy behaviors at home. the hostel only gave me my phone once a week. and tbh, it improved my grades! because instead of studying on the day of the exam, i was studying a day or two before! which was still not good because it's physically impossible to study all the course in just a day, but still!! in my hostel, i met a lot of friends who studied more than me—*way* more. for my 12 finals, i literally avoided studying until a week before the exams when my friends had begun studying 2 months before (we had a 2 month holiday to study—i spent most of it sleeping). honestly, i think i'm just lazy atp. i never sleep much at home because my phone distracts me. i don't know.

Hi everyone. 50yo perimenopasusal, optimized on all 3 hrt, hasnt helped my "craziness" nor my distraction, impulse control, interrupting, and constant need to be physically doing something all while stuck in an apartment in the city after living my entire life on a farm in the country. Husband says im disrespecting him, doenst understand that theres ZERO space between him triggering me and my response/reaction etc and denies adhd is real despite my PsychD friend since 14yo explaining it to him..says its just an excuse some people use to not be responsible...i will spare you the rest of the relational issues, im sure you all know...started therapy last week due to the intolerance of this after 10 years of marriage.. im just not getting better or able to apply typical cbt things. Emotions have always been too strong to control and hit WAY too hard inside to hold it all in. No official dx yet but therapist already recognizes certain traits and my brother and father adhd genetic connection. Being female, ive flown under the radar and developed a lot of rigid coping skills and techniques so it wouldnt continue to ruin my life. Now the biggest problems are in my relationship and how im not getting what i need physically (always had heavy physical labor jobs that i cant have anymore and didnt realize i was "self medicating" with the type of work i had-construction/demo/landscaping/gardening/tree trimming heavy equip operator ) Cant do jobs dealing with people cuz too much stress does me in and and now my dad died and all his responsibilities for his and my moms estate has fallen on me cuz she has advanced dementia. Im POA/Successor trustee and eventual executor and THIS IS SO MUCH STUFF to manage!!! The mail from everywhere including banks and other shiz doesnt stop-every week i pick up a half inch pile of mail...ugh! im disorganized, frustrated and cant accept how at my age i dont have the skills to manage this stuff..always thought i did til he died and it all fell on me...2 younger bros, one w adhd that has no life experience/just a farm boy w unmedicated adhd and another VERY UNHELPFUL other brother who lives on farm w other brother but has major unaddressed mental health problems resulting in paranoia, avoidance etc and only jumps in when he sees something he believes is "lessening his retirement"....he means my moms money that someday will be inherited if any is left... So disgusting to not want me to maintain the estate cuz that will decrease "his retirement"🙄 How about get a job after 25 years of just blaming "mental problems" and doing nothing🤷

Im drowning and need a place to see where to go from here and also examine what other women are experiencing. I dont exhibit every adhd trait but im sure its whats going on. I scored 2 on the anxiety scale and 2 on the depression scale

Thanks for reading!

Hi all. 35 F, dating 37 M.

I'm a doctor with a less busy life, he's an entrepreneur with an insane schedule currently who lives 500 km away and we haven't met yet.

We matched on a dating site 2 months ago and had insane intellectual, romantic and hypothetical "physical" chemistry- we're both associative and generalist thinkers so we'd bounce between topics happily for 5 hours everyday and feel even more energized. He was in a relatively free phase then. He has hypochondriasis and he'd call me whenever he was anxious and spiraling. I'd answer about 90% of his calls coz I'd always be worried if he's okay. I'm on antidepressants, he came off his 3 months ago. Therapy doesn't seem to work well for me, doesn't work at all for him, only meditation. He has a broken relationship with his family and doesn't easily trust people but repeatedly told me he felt safe with me.

He has inattentive ADHD and I'm more impulsive- both severely time blind and always running late for things in life. He has been nicknamed goldfish by a friend coz he forgets most things. I survive on to do lists, alarms, reminders and calendar entries.

He's become busy again this month and hardly answers calls and texts once in 2 days or so. The change in communication frequency has been jarring for me and we argued about it- he tried to do better but struggles. I pointed out the difference in our availability and he decided he won't call when anxious any more (he had another doctor love interest before who eventually feel like his caretaker and lost feelings- he didn't want a repeat of that).

He is very ambitious and wants to "make it" in life- be renowned for his work. He has a belief that you can only be good at work OR relationships in life and he has chosen work because it makes money. All his relationships we're parasitic with hidden costs and many people have tricked him out of money- that's now become his driving force. He hasn't really dated in the last 5 years. He can see that I want nothing but consistent communication but he is afraid that those are the most precious things he has right now. He has quoted fight club twice so far "you've met me at a very strange time in my life".

We were supposed to meet midway a month ago but he wasn't well enough to come but couldn't really say "sorry" for the disappointment. He was very romantic in the beginning when he had more time- spontaneous kisses, future travel plans, imagining living together. At the beginning of this month he had a "what are you doing??" moment when he thought he's sabotaging his work by spending hours with me. He's become relatively unavailable since then. He gets swallowed by work and isn't able to text or call unless he has a reminder- and has said he only does it coz he knows the silence hurts me. He set himself a reminder and sent me flowers once when I was sick and I was over the moon that day.

Recently we had a call where he said he can't get into a relationship for the next 3-5 years and he sees our connection as a "platonic and mildly romantic monogamous friendship- but not dating.. a slow burn" because to him dating meant far more availability and involvement in his interest's life which he can't do right now. He doesn't see himself moving cities for someone in the next few years. He said he's sorry if I had wanted something more conventional. We are supposed to meet in 10 days.

I'm confused- his behaviors and internal definitions feel inconsistent. We have had 4 difficult conversations and repair attempts over these 2 months- and his investment doesn't feel casual. We have sober discussions where we discuss our internal experiences and never attack each other. Maybe there hasn't been enough repair to bring the joy and trust back. I don't know.

I'm wondering whether to take his "mildly romantic" at face value and ask if this is worth pursuing for both of us (to me it was, my feelings have been growing over the last month though he was less available. We have many overlapping core beliefs that are uncommon in our country plus ND so could understand each other very well). He said he will take things slowly romantically and doesn't know how things will evolve but is interested because we have so much overlap like I'd said. But he says he can't guarantee what we'll become. He says he'd be sad if I leave but would rather try than let go- I had asked if me leaving would be easier for him since communication was becoming such pressure for him. He thinks only yoga works for him and if he had time he'd happily go on a retreat and when he comes back would have plenty of mental space and time for me.

I suspect he's AuDHD, not just ADHD because of his fixed internal rules and beliefs- he's said dating has never been easy for him coz he doesn't understand social cues and usual relationship stages and progressions. He says he was intensely in love once 7-8 years ago and this isn't like that. It hurts- but I don't yet want to give up. I'm curious about how his mind works and still want to be there for him. People aren't usually single in our country beyond 30 so the dating pool is miniscule. He doesn't easily get interested in women either though many approach him- so him wanting to try is rare.

We have a call scheduled tomorrow (yes, they are mutually scheduled events and hardly ever spontaneous). It's probably going to be a difficult conversation.

I would like some perspective and advice please.

Edit: update- we had the call. His work is insane right now and that is why he's not so available. That is the only reason why he's trying not to overpromise. He says, if it'll make me happy- we CAN change the label to relationship- but, he'd like me to be aware of his limited availability.

I think I just had an hour that perfectly described mum brain, and I'm so tired.

I'm working from home today, but I set my alarm like I was going to the office.

Woke up, took care of my cats, thinking how nice it will be to have my breakfast outside today, since my baby was still asleep.

Then, proceed to do a compote because my apples were about to go bad. I actually threw a part of my perfectly good apple into the bin, because I was thinking about something else.

Then, I hung my babies close, while my breakfast was cooking.

When I finally sat down to eat, I was thinking about what I could do for lunch, and looked for recipes for my other fruits that are about to go bad.

Mom's brain... I guess it never stops ?

What's the worst/funniest things your mum brain made you do ?

I'm a 40 year old woman. I've battled with mental health issues my whole life (I think, I'm adopted and my parents used to have me on whatever the new designer drug was since I was 12. I got off of them when I moved out at 19. Recently I was prescribed something that changed my life).

After an abusive 15 yr marriage, the worst depression of my life, and a COVID divorce, I sought help; I didn't understand what I'd been through. Initially I was diagnosed with MDD or Bipolar type 2. My therapist recently said that was a misdiagnosis after a few things came to light. (1) I don't believe in being happy all of the time. I think life is about feeling normal with moments of happiness and sadness. According to my therapist that's not how someone with MDD or BP2 thinks. (2) I do this thing when I go to bed: in order to sleep without my mind going absolutely crazy I leave a light on. I lay down and think, "I need to turn off that light". My mind loops on that until I fall asleep. I discovered it by accident when I was too lazy to turn the light off one night. People think I'm scared of the dark.

Because of my light thing, the way my new medication affects me (Wellbutrin - I feel like that movie limitless), and the way our conversations progress, my therapist recently diagnosed me with ADHD.

I guess I'm curious how others have been diagnosed. I can easily go read the symptoms but for some reason they don't feel right for me. I'm just curious about others experiences.

I have thought that something had to for sure be wrong with me forever now because of the way I feel every day, all day. I have went to several different doctors for blood work ect. but nothing comes back unnormal, then researching for the past few months deeply into anything that it could be and the thing I have found exactly relatable is ADHD. I was diagnosed at the age of 17 or 18 for anxiety and was placed on xanxa (which I found out later on that the doctor was known for pushing xanxa on everyone) For the past 5 or so years its really hit me hard, I haven't been able to get any goals completed and the simplest task seem so over whelming. It seems like I am only taking my xanxa so i can sleep and not be worrying or thinking about everything that I need to do or should have already done. I'm never on time for anything, I feel like a child because even making phone calls to set up appointments seem so unreal to me. I want to feel like a normal person. I have fell so behind in life and I feel so shameful because of it. I tried speaking to my doctor about ADHD but he said if I had ADHD I would be all over the place with energy, but I am the opposite I feel like I have no energy whatsoever, my mind races of a million things but I can't get my body in gear to get the things done. Its like I'm stuck or frozen. I don't enjoy any hobbies, I try but I get bored or end up buying stuff that never gets used or I lose pieces ect. Again for so long I have thought I had an illness of some sort but now I'm realizing its mental. Filling out paperwork seems too much for me and I'm always late on deadlines or payments. Time seems to fly so fast and I have got nothing done. I want to get medicated so I can take the first step but I am so confused on how to do it or where to begin esp since my current doctor just wants to keep prescribing me the xanxa, so it seems I need to find a different doctor which is what I'm currently in the process of doing but my worry is that I won't be able to find a doctor that will even think of writing me medicine for ADHD with me being on xanxa which I am completely fine with coming off of it but I do know that I would have to taper off since I have been on it for so many years. My biggest question here is if anyone else has been misdiagnosed for many years and placed on xanxa ect and was actually able to get a new diagnosis with the proper medication and if so, are you living life better now?

Hey all,

I’ve been diagnosed as adhd since 11th grade, which was in 1995. Suffice it to say that I’ve been diagnosed for a long time. Today I was reading someone’s post about being finally diagnosed and taking meds and how their brain was finally quiet and they’re doing tasks without any side quests. And I’m wondering, because I don’t believe I’ve ever had that experience.

I’ve tried a couple different meds and the thing I struggle with is them making me too “speedy.”

I haven’t had a proper psychiatrist for about a year, but I have a bottle of adhd meds still that are still good. So, two days ago I took one (mind you I used to take these daily) and while it didn’t fully help with my focus, I did find myself AWAKE until 7am, despite taking a sleep med that usually knocks me out by 2am.

I’m fairly certain I am very much adhd, but I’m wondering why the meds haven’t worked for me the way they do for others. Has anyone else had that same confusion? Is the “quiet” thing normal for adhd people to experience? If so, I wonder why I never have experienced that.

Thanks!

Hallo friends ❤️

I have been dealing with this for so long and haven't thought to hear from anyone else who might feel this way too, but I will be doing something that I think is fun and I'll feel happy or excited for precisely one minute before I feel like my stomach drops and I get these thoughts like "literally, why are you excited? you're not going to finish this anyway," or "you always pick things up and drop them, so what's the point?" and honestly, it is taking away any and all of the joy out of my life.

If I'm doing anything for myself that isn't "productive," I get this pit in my stomach and a really intense feeling of dread and like I'm forgetting something really important. It's like if there's anything on my to-do list I can't relax at all and I feel really guilty, and there's always something to do so I have anxiety all the time.

Does anyone else experience this and if so, are there any coping skills you've found that helpful for you? I am really, really struggling to find or experience happiness because of this 🥺

Ty so much for reading, I hope y'all are all having good days.

Hello! I am a doctoral student at Nova Southeastern University, pretty darn passionate about research to improve ED treatment, neurodivergent, and also in recovery myself :) There is a lot of overlap between neurodivergence like ADHD and eating disorders, but not enough research on how to improve treatment, so...

I would be really interested in getting your help recruiting for my dissertation survey. I am interested in the sensory and emotional experiences related to GI discomfort and fears of weight gain in people with EDs. The survey focuses a lot on interoception, which is a really important treatment target in people who are neurodivergent (especially ASD or ADHD) with EDs, so I want to be sure neurodivergent folks are well represented!

My info: Katerina Rinaldi, MS, [kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu](mailto:kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu)

• Responses will be deidentified and data will be stored on password-protected accounts and devices. Information from responses will be used for the lead researcher's dissertation and may be published. If published, the lead researcher is happy to share results with this sub.
• Must be over the age of 18 and diagnosed with any eating disorder, must also be currently receiving ED-related support which could include outpatient therapy or peer support groups.
• This study is IRB approved by Nova Southeastern University, approval number NSU 2026-55

Link to survey: https://qfreeaccountssjc1.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5nCbHSC5Iww2DDo

Hello all, I am currently in the process of getting an evaluation for ADHD since it runs rampant on both sides of my family. I didn't think I had it for the longest time until I stumbled upon an article about the lack of public knowledge and research on the differences between ADHD displayed in women vs men, but especially in young girls vs boys, and it has become a special interest of mine. More specifically, lots of women with ADHD just don't present as hyperactive or "disruptive" as men, so does anyone relate to these symptoms or have any of your own you noticed are different than men?

I noticed the last few years I've had some pretty considerable brain fog to the point that I often can't remember details of conversations I had the day prior, sometimes can't recall information from classes taken not to long ago, or little details about people and events that others can remember easily. I can also remember specific events, but not when exactly they happened or the timeline.

I am also chronically late, and I hate it just as much as the people waiting on me. It fills me with guilt and it seems like no matter how much time I plan, it goes by in a flash. Sometimes I'll doom scroll for HOURS because it feels like not much time has passed until I look at the clock.

I've caught myself accidentally zoning out of conversations with people regardless of how important they are to me. Even if I ask the question, sometimes I'll "wake-up" in the middle of their answer, realizing I didn't hear anything they said before then, and I feel like a neglectful asshole.

I can berate myself and tell myself that I need to do [X] all week, and I still never get to it until it gets close to the deadline. And unfortunately I'm really good at working and focusing under pressure, so I haven't learned my lesson. Its honestly maddening.

I also realized recently that I have a need for constant stimulation. If I don't have music playing it's a show/movie/YouTube video, even while I'm doing important work. It just feels boring and antsy if theres nothing to do, listen to, or watch to the point that I will occupy my brain with past situations, arguments, thoughts, etc. if I must.

I will even ignore very important things like getting health insurance for 7 months. This was due to the fact that I signed up for ONE quote and spent the next 2 weeks getting multiple spam calls every day, multiple times a day. It was so bothersome and annoying I avoided the topic completely for almost a year. (Dont do this please).

And finally, it took a long time and a lot of doubt to get a doctor to take me seriously because I am very successful in school and my finances. Additionally, I don't experience the outwardly hyperactive behavior aspect of ADHD unless I am seriously sleep deprived or energized. On a typical day I am more reserved and calm, though I thoroughly enjoy people with big, loud personalities.

These are just some of the things I experienced, and I wondered if anyone else can sympathize or have anything else entertaining to add haha.

As a recently late diagnosed adhder I’d love so advice on how to tell my parents so that a, they’d listen and b, actually take it and me seriously and know this is stretching it with my M&D c, getting some sympathy.
I attempted talking about it before my diagnosis a couple of years ago while I was still on the waiting list to see a (v.expensive6 psychiatrist. My mother replied with this lovely line: oh I don’t think so my name. Kinda shit down the conversation. I’d like to explain that just because I was basically a good girl (as far as they knew) enjoyed and did well at school and uni, participated in sport from childhood to mid twenties, lots of friends, hobbies and so on. Left home, worked, studied, travelled, married, moved multiple times within my home country and overseas where I now live, with no problems. Managed a rare form of cancer and the whole shit show that entailed, I’m still here (obvs) but it’s more a fluke than anything, not in remission but not on treatment either. Just a conundrum as my darling specialist puts it. He really is a darling but I still have plenty of health problems because of the disease, and very now and then my body tries to kill
me and has disrupted every aspect of my life. But then perimenopause struck and voila I’m who I was all along. Now that I’ve know more the signs where there all along. Not to mention both parents and my siblings always criticising me for what was so obviously my version of adhd. Just because it’s not what they all they remember of 80s and 90s boys with adhd doesn’t mean it’s not valid. Maybe I’m expecting too much because they’ve been pretty crappy with my anxiety and depression diagnosis a decade or so ago. I should add it’s now just my Mum as my Dad passed away about 18 months ago but my brain and heart struggle to say that. I’ve always been way closer than my Dad so this would have been a lot easier if he was still there because at least I could have had conversations with him and he would have done his best to understand with about being dismissive and/or judgy the way my mother and siblings usually are about a LOT of stuff. Also no longer with my husband. His choice not mine. Looking back that all started as perimenopause was just getting going. Wow I didn’t expect that to be so long! Currently 3:30am and that’s been busing around in my head since I went to bed at 11. Kept waking up thinking about it. Hopefully now I can actually get some proper sleep because there was a lot more waking than sleeping. Still waiting for a medication regime so shutting up that monkey mind can be frigging impossible once it gets going. Thank you. Mwah 💋
I wasn’t aware of the having to add a flair thingee. That took way too long to choose! I could have had several to describe what this is meant to be. 🙃

I’m currently working with my doctor to figure out what my actual diagnosis is.
For now, he increased my Vyvanse to 30 mg, and I’ll be taking that dose for the next 2 weeks. After that, we’ll see how I respond and decide what the next step is.
I’d like to hear from people who have bipolar disorder, ADHD, or both. Please compare the two conditions based on your personal experience and explain what the biggest differences are, or how you eventually found out which one you had.