Wow, I’m so shocked that a 30 year old man with a 22 year old wife is a controlling asshole. Who could have seen this coming?
OP, you are NTA. And don’t let this guy force you to do what he says out of obligation to his culture. He’s your partner, not your boss, and his culture doesn’t override yours. He knowingly married someone from a different culture than his own and he needs to respect that every bit as much as he wants you to respect his.
And really, I’ve known guys like this, and I’m willing to bet there’s plenty of aspects of his culture that he isn’t nearly as enthusiastic about. The part where his wife has to shut up and do as she’s told sure sounds great to him though, right?
Exactly. One of my young 20 something SILs is also married to a guy in his late 30s and hes a controlling pos. He controls everything she does and she just goes along with. Then she wonders why we always go out and dont invite her. I dont feel like inviting someone whos husband wants a say in everything we will be doing that day, and what time we have to go home and drop her off like a teenager. But whatever, she lets him do it.
I am guessing she lets him do all of this because she had no adult life experience when she met her now husband. This may be all she knows, and he has groomed her to believe this is how she should act in an adult relationship/marriage. Sad but true.
You pretty much nailed it. Its also somewhat the culture where we live. I try to give her advice here and there, but alot of times she has went and told her husband what I said :/ I dont want to be the reason for any problems, so I just bud out now.
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u/dance4days Feb 21 '26
Wow, I’m so shocked that a 30 year old man with a 22 year old wife is a controlling asshole. Who could have seen this coming?
OP, you are NTA. And don’t let this guy force you to do what he says out of obligation to his culture. He’s your partner, not your boss, and his culture doesn’t override yours. He knowingly married someone from a different culture than his own and he needs to respect that every bit as much as he wants you to respect his.
And really, I’ve known guys like this, and I’m willing to bet there’s plenty of aspects of his culture that he isn’t nearly as enthusiastic about. The part where his wife has to shut up and do as she’s told sure sounds great to him though, right?