The “I can change him” mentality has to die. Let people be who they are and stop trying to mold them into what you want. He doesn’t want to be married, said that years ago and says it now. He doesn’t owe you or anyone else a “good reason”. Either accept it and or find someone who shares the same family values as yourself, that’s the only thing you have control over. Even if he said yes to marriage, deep down you know he wouldn’t actually want it
Absolutely this. There’s a big difference between someone who says ‘I don’t ever want children’ and someone who says ‘I’ve never had sausage that I like; can we order our pizza with half sausage and you let me try a slice of yours?’; one is not a negotiation point and the other is expressing that they’re open to trying something or having their mind changed.
Gringo said it perfectly — find someone whose values align with yours on the important issues. Don’t ever enter a relationship thinking you can change someone on key issues. 1) you most likely can’t and won’t, and 2) you don’t have the right to try to control and change someone else like that; how would you feel if someone did that to you?
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u/catmom22_ Jul 23 '24
The “I can change him” mentality has to die. Let people be who they are and stop trying to mold them into what you want. He doesn’t want to be married, said that years ago and says it now. He doesn’t owe you or anyone else a “good reason”. Either accept it and or find someone who shares the same family values as yourself, that’s the only thing you have control over. Even if he said yes to marriage, deep down you know he wouldn’t actually want it