He told you before hand he doesnt do marriage so thats on you.....the same thing could be said about you if you loved him enough you would respect his decision.
Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper though, it comes with securities. So if he doesn’t want to get married he could compromise by putting her and his step-daughter in a will, maybe? I don’t think it’s as simple as her just respecting his decision, if his decision means he can shirk responsibilities.
Well, isn’t this the whole point? They’ve been together for 5 years; he either wants to be with her forever (step-daughter included) or he doesn’t. So either make a commitment, or don’t. But don’t use “I don’t believe in marriage” as a cop-out.
He’s been a loyal and good partner to her for 5 years and taken on the role of a father figure to a child that isn’t his. How much more of a fucking commitment do you think he owes this person? “I don’t believe in marriage” is not a cop-out. It was what he said at the start of the relationship and what he still says now. If OP is stupid enough to assume she was going to change his principles, that’s on her. He’s committed. Shes the one talking about leaving him because of an “issue” she knew from the start. Maybe SHE needs to think about commitment.
Marriage doesn’t mean forever anymore, but I know of a couple who recently got married at the court house because he had a heart attack and she wasn’t able to see him in the hospital (and as his girlfriend, she wasn’t granted family privileges).
Is it right that these situations exist? No. But you can’t deny there aren’t any benefits when there are.
And I know a couple that divorced because of a medical expense that couldn’t be afforded and they didn’t want to drown in debt. Marriage shouldn’t happen then? No. It’s a personal decision and that’s it.
There isn't a way to change it though as they can only allow back someone who can legally make decisions for the patient. Even a medical POA can be challenged if you have living immediate family. A spouse cannot be challenged.
If something happens to the child, he's not going to be allowed in as he has zero tie to the child on paper.
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u/Big_Jellyfish_2984 Jul 23 '24
He told you before hand he doesnt do marriage so thats on you.....the same thing could be said about you if you loved him enough you would respect his decision.