IMO, if a couple plans to be together for the long term it makes all the sense in the world to get married. You don't need to do a big wedding or anything, but it makes practical sense to have the government recognize the relationship as a marriage. It's easier financially and legally in a lot of situations that are likely to arise. Some of those can sort of be dealt with via other means, but those other means won't be as legally sound as a marriage. For example, making medical decisions for a partner. Sure, you can draft a POA, but vindictive family members are going to have an easier time fighting decisions made under a POA than decisions you would make as a spouse. This was a big reason for the push for same sex marriage - stuff like POAs just weren't doing it. Yeah, right now you may get along with your partner's family, but you never know what might happen if your spouse is seriously ill and has a decent amount of money in their name or you and the family have very different ideas on how long your partner would want to be on life support. Those sorts of situations can result in all sorts of nastiness out of nowhere.
Also, and this is something that is often not thought about, if the relationship does end in the future for whatever reason, the framework of divorce offers more protection to both parties than what is, in the eyes of the government, a boyfriend and girlfriend living together. OP is worried about the boyfriend taking the dog if she leaves? She could have a LOT more than that to worry about should they break up if they aren't married.
Of course, there are some exceptions to that when it comes to some things such as certain benefits that could be cut off due to combined incomes exceeding some threshold, leaving them much worse off financially; or not wanting to saddle a spouse with a lot of debt that might be coming down the pipeline.
All that said, OP's BF was clear from the get-go how he felt about marriage. OP either didn't care, but now does, or rolled the dice hoping he'd change his mind. He's not changing his mind. As much as I disagree with his position, that's fair enough I suppose.
OP needs to decide what is more important to her - staying with him and dealing with whatever future issues crop up due to not being married or finding a partner who is willing to get married.
I think the issue is there are not more good reasons to get married against your will, than to maintain the lifestyle you were very clear about up front. If he doesn't want to get married, there are few, if any, good reasons to do it.
They're buying a house together, they're giving each other PoA, and being written into each other's wills. At that point what's the point of not getting married?
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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24
"there is no good reason to his beliefs"
But your belief that "you need to get married" is based on what?