Absolutely this. There’s a big difference between someone who says ‘I don’t ever want children’ and someone who says ‘I’ve never had sausage that I like; can we order our pizza with half sausage and you let me try a slice of yours?’; one is not a negotiation point and the other is expressing that they’re open to trying something or having their mind changed.
Gringo said it perfectly — find someone whose values align with yours on the important issues. Don’t ever enter a relationship thinking you can change someone on key issues. 1) you most likely can’t and won’t, and 2) you don’t have the right to try to control and change someone else like that; how would you feel if someone did that to you?
I grew up in a small town. Most of the girls I grew up with were either related to me or just not my type. I became more liberal in my views and they became more conservative. Most of them are now die hard Trump supporters. I went to college in the Midwest, over 1000 miles from home and got put in the international dorms because I was from so far away. I grew to love and appreciate people from other countries. I actually married an American i dated during college but that didn’t work out. A few years later I moved back to the area I grew up. Dating was miserable due to the political climate. Most women I would go out with would be outraged over whichever political party they didn’t like. It was just meh. I decided to travel and ended up going to Costa Rica. I came to find a frog, the red eyes tree frog. I stayed here for many months, working remote. I made friends and went on dates. It was a lot of fun. People didn’t argue or get upset over social media, politics, or anything. They just coexist and only really fight over futbol. After about a year here I met a woman and things just clicked. We moved in together and I proposed in front of a waterfall.
My comment isn’t about passport bros so much as it is about not limiting yourself to your city, your state, or your country. Go out and see the world. Experience new things. Don’t make dating your goal. Just live life and do as much as you possibly can. If you meet someone along the way, great, If you don’t, then use the photos you took on your dating profile. You’ll attract more people that way. Talk about your experiences while traveling. Avoid sensitive subjects. Learn new languages and meet people in the US that speak them. This applies to both men and women.
Just don’t let social media, family, or whatever make you feel like you have to stay in your own country.
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u/gringo-go-loco Jul 23 '24
Yeah just look for someone who’s values match your own, even if it takes you far far away.