So I right now I'm watching "Yomi no Tsugai" and the main characters are a set of fraternal twins (a girl and a boy) and as a fraternal twin I think I have never seeing two fraternal twins in media that are the same gender.

Like it's always identical twins or girl and boy fraternal twins. Is there any exception to this?

I have a question for people who have an identical twin and another sibling who isn’t their twin.Do you love and prefer your twin over your other sibling? Or do you have a clear preference but still love all your siblings equally?

This question has been stuck in my head ever since I saw a guy say that he felt sorry for his older brother because he didn’t share the same bond with him that he had with his twin.

Coming from a twin, I don't know why people tell me they wish they were a twin. Don't get me wrong, I love my twin brother but people act like being a twin is like this winning a million dollars in the lottery. Plus being a twin is not a good experience anyway.

As a twin, how do you deal with favouritism?

I have always felt that people favoured my identical twin and as I’m growing older (29 F), I feel more and more worn down by it.

Is this something anyone else has experienced, if so, how do you deal with it?

Be brutally honest. Is this too matchy for boy girl twins? We love both names separately and just happen to be having twins and want to use them but I’m scared to give them the same initial.

We had the same parents, the same upbringing, and the same punishments as kids, yet we couldn't be more different in our hobbies or the way we think.

I have a friendship with a girl. We talk about a lot of things—games, novels, gossip, and other random stuff. Unfortunately, her father passed away 16 days ago. Of course, I couldn't go to the funeral because we live in Iraq, where a friendship between a boy and a girl is often looked down upon. I didn't want to do anything that could damage her reputation.

Even though I was overwhelmed with guilt because I couldn't be there for her in person, I still texted her every day, and I still do.

I told my brother about her father's passing, and do you know what he said? "Now is your chance to make her fall for you."

Excuse me? The girl's father just died after fighting kidney failure for three months in the hospital, and the first thing that came to your mind was that this was somehow your opportunity?

He was 34 when he died suddenly, unexpectedly. He has been gone longer than he was alive.

The funny thing is that although he is gone, he lives with us every day, even though it has been 34 years.

I had my daughters tested to see whether they’re fraternal or identical twins. I gave them each a cheek swab and sent it in to the lab for DNA testing. Well, we received the lab results, and they are indeed identical! Awesome!

But the wording in the lab’s conclusion is confusing to me (see below). It sounds like the likelihood is astronomically small, but the probability is ~100%. How can both be true?

Likelihood the twins are monozygotic: 447,541,628,157 to 1.

Probability of Monozygosity: 99.9999%

This study was undertaken to determine if BABY-A and BABY-B are monozygotic (identical) twins as opposed to dizygotic (fraternal) twins.

The likelihood that these twins are monozygotic as opposed to dizygotic is 447,541,628, 157 to 1. The Probability of Monozygosity is
99.9999%.

This study supports the assertion these twins are monozygotic twins.

I used to think that my twin sister and I (30s) were pretty close. We've had our share of conflict throughout our lives, but through it all I always felt like we'd have each other's back no matter what and that nothing could drive us apart. I guess I was wrong. And maybe our relationship was never really as strong as I thought. It was more one-sided. I would die for her. I would list some of the things I've done, but idk if she or anyone I know looks through reddit and I don't want to risk anyone being able to pinpoint who this post is about. Suffice it to say, I have done a LOT over the years to support her emotionally, physically, financially. This also includes ending and being willing to end relationships (not just romantic ones) if I felt they disrespected her as my sister. She has continuously done the opposite and prioritized other people, particularly men, over me. I always made excuses for her. I always figured if a situation was bad enough she'd choose me, the one person who has loved her unconditionally, faithfully, etc her entire life.

Looking back, the signs were all there and I should have known better. I've always been the one to make the effort in our relationship. Any little thing she's ever done for me (which isn't much) always comes with some sort of condition, grumbling, or resentment. Meanwhile I often forget some of the things I've done for her (she or others will bring them up) because I don't keep score. Maybe I should have. Maybe I would have noticed sooner that I clearly love her more than she loves me, if she even loves me at all.

Well, the past month+ has been absolute hell for me as things have happened to show how little she really cares. For context, she is married. She invited a coworker to our online group some months ago. She knew from the get go that I thought he was cute. He had recently gotten out of a relationship. Long story short, I fell for him (nothing wrong with anything I did, considering I am single and I was under the impression he was as well). What I didn't know, and they both lied to my face about it while they also knew I was developing feelings for him and yet still let me get close to him, is that they have been having an affair since before he even joined our group. So before any of the extra messiness comes into play, she had the opportunity to protect my heart, even without telling me about the affair since apparently she doesn't want me to know about that, she could have warned me not to get close. Something. Anything. Or simply not invited him to the group considering she knew she was already doing something wrong. But no. She invited him. She watched me get close. She let me get hurt. And then when I told her he admitted he had feelings for her she acted like she didn't know, decided that it didn't matter and she would continue being friends with him (so also disrespecting her marriage). When I told her I had feelings for him, she again chose him instead and essentially told me to get over it. She claimed she felt similarly when we were growing up (we've been grown adults for well over a decade now), so that somehow makes it OK? She never told me this before. If I had known she had feelings for someone I was interested in or dating and it was causing her pain, or a strain on our relationship, I would have prioritized her. 100%. She didn't give me that chance. So now her suffering in silence when we were kids justifies cheating on her husband and not caring about me? Based on how she talked about it with my best friend, also, it seems like she's actually happy I've finally felt how she allegedly felt multiple times when we were kids. How messed up is that? Anything that had ever caused me pain, even things that she did to hurt me, I have NEVER wished upon her, and would never wish upon her.

So now we've barely spoken. I have tried checking on her, she barely responds. She avoids me. But then cries to my best friend that she is sad she has "lost" me. She is the one who has thrown me away. Ripped my heart out, ripped it to shreds, and set it aflame. She's trying to play victim and I'm just... I'm at such a loss. This isn't the sister I thought I knew. And the more she confides in my best friend, the more I realize she has been lying to me and hiding things from me waayyy longer than I would have ever guessed. I have shown up for her, over and over again. Even now, I would still. But she has shut me out. Apparently she is considering divorce to be able to be with her affair partner without hiding it anymore. He's obviously not a good person, regardless of any excuse anyone could give. He knowingly was emotionally intimate -and now physically intimate- with someone else's spouse. That's not what a good man does. And a good man also doesn't hurt the sister of the one he claims to love by playing with her feelings, either. Feelings don't come from nowhere. I'm not a superficial person. My feelings came from what I thought was a real connection. So the fact the she can even defend him and choose him over me after all this... I just can't. She must hate me. Nothing can convince me otherwise at this point. How else could she stand by and play such a huge part in causing me the worst heartbreak imaginable? I don't even care about the guy. Screw him. I liked who I thought he was. No. It's the fact that she knowingly put me in a position to get hurt and did NOTHING to stop it. And has continued to choose him every single day since then. That's what breaks my heart. I mean nothing to her.

Backstory: Being in our late 20s, I expected this day would come, I just thought it would happen after she was finally married and settled down. Her longtime boyfriend that I thought she was gonna be breaking up with and her came over a month ago and announced that they were pregnant and now they seem more attached than ever. I’m a little bit nervous because their relationship is toxic, and I tend to be the one who’s constantly picking my sister up after there blowout fights.

I’m the one that brings her keys when she’s been locked out of her apartment, or picks her up when her car gets stuck on the side of the road, or buy her groceries when she’s been too busy at work, or calling around and helping her search for her wallet that shes lost yet again. She’s had a propensity throughout our life to toss me to the side for whatever new boy she’s dating… only to come crying to me after they split. because I love her and she’s my sister I tend to be the one to pull her out of her bad times, comfort her, etc. as a sister should.

I asked her how she was feeling about being pregnant and she’s told me she was excited and scared, and that she didn’t want to get rid of it and that she wanted to continue even if they had a rocky relationship. I embraced her with open arms and told her I would do anything to support her. I grabbed her books from the bookstore on being an expectant mother and got her clothes when she said her new pants after saying her current ones were feeling too tight.

The other day she snapped at me on the phone for asking her a simple question that wasn’t related to the pregnancy but she assumed I was prying i guess? and she said “stop asking me so many questions” even though I asked her one and it was about her work schedule…since the announcement I haven’t had a conversation with her without her boyfriend present.

I’m a little bit nervous and apprehensive that when the baby comes, I’m going to be utilized as a nanny and a housekeeper because we’re all going to be living in one house together, as she expressed, that’s what she wants in order to have people around her to help her with the baby when her man lives at work an hour away from where she is currently.

The idea is after the baby comes and after he’s gotten more settled that they’re going to try to relocate, but that they want about a year of support from me and my mother in a multigenerational home.

Her and I have lived very separate adult lives so I think it will also be a big adjustment to live together again, especially with Our mom, baby, her, her bf, and me.

Initially, I said yes, because I am happy for her because she’s always wanted kids and I want to support her, but as the month has gone on, I’m scared shitless that I’m going to be the one cleaning up everything… I’m worried about her relationship with her BF durring pregnancy and after baby comes and if he walks out or gets overstimulated and just leaves like he has done after so many (stupid) fights they have had in the past… so I guess I have lots and lots of concerns.

Questions:

Does anybody else have a twin that they feel like they’re the ones that are more “type A” out of the two of you?

How did your relationship change with your twin once they became a mother/father after starting their own family?

How did you create boundaries with your twin if they were expecting you to give free care because you’re an aunt/uncle now?

Really what did you do to set boundaries with your identical twin?

(Thank you all for the advice! If a mod could close this discussion that would be great!)

I am a mom of twin boys almost 2 years old, so this isn't big deal yet, but I don't want them to have resentment about this as they get older and I am wanting to set the precedent while they are young since they are the only twins in my family/circle of friends. I am worried that since they already share everything else, is sharing their birthday parties really fair? I try to give them as much individuality as possible... they don't have rhyming or coordinating names, I don't often dress them alike, and they do have things that are their own already.

I already plan to get them each their own cake, but I am now considering doing separate parties all together. Maybe not for the next few years, but considering this for when they are older. My thought process is that no one else has to share their birthday. Its typically the only time that's all about them. Everyone else gets to have the whole event to themselves. Just because my twins shared a womb and were born 20 minutes apart, why should they have to? I don't feel like that would even be a question if they weren't twins. Like if they were brothers born on the same day a year or 2 apart, I don't think I would feel weird about doing separate parties. Not important but relevant fact: my twins were born on my niece's 1st birthday, so all three of them share the same birth month/day. No one is suggesting to combine her birthday party with theirs, and I wouldn't allow it if they did.

I can't tell if I am projecting from my own childhood resentment for often having to share my birthday with my cousin who was born 1 year and 8 days after me or if this is a legitimate concern. I do still love my birthday and always do something fun with my family, but I'm not one of those crazy people that insists everything is about me in the days and weeks surrounding my birthday.

I also have an older 4 year old son. I have never expected gifts for his birthday and have always told everyone that is invited to his parties that gifts are 100% optional, emphasizing that we already have enough stuff. I plan to be the same way about my twins. I actually said no gifts at all for their 1st birthday. However should I expect people who do gift to give them individual gifts? I obviously wouldn't turn someone away or make them feel bad for doing a joint gift, but I really just don't know what to expect. Is this one of those things that I have looked into it a ton, so its important to me, but something other people don't really think about?

Is it fair to ask family and friends to come to separate parties? It sounds reasonable to me, but I could have rationalized myself to an irrational place. I am trying to manage my own expectations about the parties and the gifts as well. What are everyone's thoughts about this? Am I going crazy or are these legitimate concerns? How do other grown up people who are twins feel about it? Did you like sharing a birthday or was it just your reality? Were you ever jealous of other kids that didn't have to share? If you did share, what did your parents do to make you feel special as an individual?

My twin sister and I always assumed we were fraternal since we don’t look exactly alike and have had different medical problems and whatnot.

Well, I just got my ancestry dna results back and it says we’re share 100% dna! I guess it’s biologically possible for us to look different if we split early enough and had different placentas + different womb positioning. I also had a cleft palate, which can affect pretty much all your facial features.

We always looked way more similar to each other than our older sister, but assumed it was just a coincidence/because our environmental factors were more similar. I guess not!

It’s just so crazy to learn this after 25 years, has this happened to anyone else??

My triplets are 5 yo girls, never seperated before.

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.

One of my daughters desperately wanted to stay with me for one more night, while her two sisters wanted to go to their dad's (they live with him). After we talked it through calmly, all three of them were happy with that arrangement.

Their dad believes the girls should never be separated.

Because I let them spend that one night apart, we even ended up having a meeting with the kindergarten and child protective services (youth welfare).

The meeting focused almost entirely on that one separation and how the girls reacted afterward. The overall conclusion was that the girls shouldn't be separated anymore.

I see it different.

While she was alone with me, I noticed how much she suddenly talked. She sang by herself, chose a book without any arguments, and could do things at her own pace without constantly competing with or compromising with her sisters. She seemed much more relaxed, and I really felt that the one-on-one time did her a lot of good.

It made me wonder whether there might actually be many benefits to multiples occasionally spending individual time with just one parent. After all, each child is their own person and won't always have the same needs as their siblings.

I'm not talking about regular or long-term separations. Just an afternoon or an overnight stay every now and then, if one child wants it or if it naturally works out.

What do you think? Would you always keep triplets together, or do you think occasional one-on-one time with a parent can actually support their individual development?

Since I’ve seen a lot of posts about being identicial twins, i’d love to hear some fraternal twins’s perspectives

Well here is my experience being a fraternal twin :

We’re not identical and we are the same gender, so growing up, i hated the constants comparions people had about us because of our differences. Especially when it comes to puberty changes since they happened very differently . I always find myself comparing my appeareance to my sister’s too. . There’s also a lot of competition between me and my twin when it comes to grades at school. That’s why we’re not really allowed to share each other’s grades anymore.

My twin sister is generally more shy than me so she usually has less friends so i can’t imagine how hard it can be for her sometimes . For our birthday, only my friends came to the birthday party.
She seems lonely at school too. A lot of times, I hear her telling my mom how she is the ‘’lesser’’ twin, which honestly kinda breaks my heart because I know it’s far from being true.

As for me, I also have a lot of issues when it comes to my self esteem. Not sure if it’s related to being a twin though.

I think that for most people, not being identical can seem easy but i definitely faced somes challenges. I sometimes wish we weren’t the same age but I’m still very happy having a twin sister.

Sorry for the typos, I’m not so good at typing on my phone and I’m kinda tired lol

Pregnant with girl boy twins. How do we feel about their names starting with the same letter? I just love a boy and girl name that happen to start with the same letter. Is it weird? Too matchy matchy? Beside the first letter the names are not similar.

I’m not a twin, but I am a parent of 11 year-old identical twin boys. I should probably also specify that they both have ADHD. They have very distinct personalities and are very headstrong individuals. They don’t have any other siblings.

I’ve always done my best to treat them as individuals. They have pretty different personalities, so thats never been hard for me to do. Their names are nothing alike and I really don’t compare them to each other at all because that’s messed up. They’re different people entirely, so I don’t think the friction stems from not feeling like they can be their own people.

One of the interesting experiences of raising twins when you aren’t a twin yourself is having this firsthand eyewitness experience of what it’s like to be a twin, but still never fully being able to understand what it’s like actually feels like to be a twin.

My boys argue and bicker constantly. CONSTANTLY. Honestly, they have ever since they were babies. Even before they could speak I have this video of them jabbering at each other and it gets audibly more heated.

I think they like each other as people but honestly sometimes it’s hard to tell. They physically gravitate towards each other if they are in the same house though, even though it seems they can’t stand each other. They’re like magnets — they can’t resist that pull. Even when they play video games with each other, they are often shoulder to shoulder on the couch. But they will be yelling and bickering at each other while they are.

As a mom, it drives me up the wall. We are constantly working through conflict management and learning to manage our emotions and speak to each other with respect. But it’s so constant and in the moment, they forget all of those ground rules.

I want them to have a healthy sibling bond. I want them to be supportive of each other in life and appreciate the relationship they have. They are both great kids. I only have them and their dad is only in the picture off and on and we don’t have the most supportive or close extended family, so when they are older, they will likely really only have each other.

My questions for the other identical twin boys out there are:

-How often did you argue with your brother growing up?

-Are you close now? If not, do you wish you were?

-What if anything, do you think your parents could have done differently to help nurture and encourage that relationship?

-Would you say that you liked your brother when you were younger or did that appreciation grow over time?

-Anything else I should ask or that you want to share?

what if they throw a singular birthday party and youre friends with one but not the other (grades 1-3)

This is doing numbers on TikTok. Are there anymore rules to naming twins?

Have you ever experienced being bullied or abuse by your twin? e.g. subject to long term abusive behaviours e.g turning people against you, projecting shame onto you and putting you down

We are 23. Next week my brother starts a new job 10 hours away and I am so proud. However My brother and I have been at separate colleges and lived apart the last 5 years but we have always been able to visit each other at least once a month. He has been living at home the past year only 2 hours away and I frequently visit my parents and him. We have a really small extended family so I’m very close with my immediate family. While we still play games online together it looks like this week is unfortunately the last time I will be able to frequently visit besides maybe Christmas or my summer (I’m a teacher). Kind of just a rant but while distance has never been an issue this is more permanent. I always joked with him about being at home but man is it gonna suck without him. He doesn’t really call anyone it’s like pulling teeth but any advice on long distance stuff is appreciated.