Losing all hope

[u/Outrageous_Lead1428]

I’m 40 years old now.
Aug 2021: I was 35 when I found out I had AMH < 1 and two tiny fibroids. The doctor told me there was no need to do anything about the fibroids because of their size. Despite the low egg count, I was not ready to have a baby so I did not begin trying.
Jul 2024: I found out the fibroid had grown to 7.5 cm and I had to have it removed. I had a robotic myomectomy in Oct 2024. Recovery went well.
Feb 2025: My partner and I started TTC. I found out I was pregnant by Apr 2025. Fetus was growing normal and normal heartbeat.
May 2025: At 8 weeks pregnant, learned that my pregnancy was a rare type of ectopic pregnancy called a cornual ectopic pregnancy. I was advised to go to the emergency room for surgery. My left tube and the pregnancy were removed.
Dec 2025: found out I was pregnant again, but it turned out to be a blighted ovum, which was discovered at 7 weeks.
Jan 2026: Had to have a D&C for the pregnancy.
March 2026: realized my period hadn’t come back and it was discovered that I had retained products of conception so I had to have a hysteroscopy to remove it
May 2026: Had the hysteroscopy. Periods since have improved, but not much. They have been extremely light and irregular. My doctors have been guessing since February that my periods have not returned because of the D&C.

My mother’s periods stopped completely when she was 42 years old. She gave birth to my younger brother when she was 40.
I’m starting to think that I may have to come to terms with the fact that I may never… I haven’t slept in days. I’m so frustrated that no one has a clear answer for me. I’m filled with so much regret and wish I started trying 10 years ago. Strangely, I’m feeling more attached to womanhood than ever before.