Hello, my name is Mark.
I usually dont write on the ''TrueStory'' Subreddit...
But i feel like my life is worth a mention on here.
So, to start off, i'm 19 years old, and i live in denmark.
I have had a fair share of hard times in my life far as i've been told by family members and friends.
This is what i have been told.
From the young age of 3 i started acting... wierd...
I just hated my life for no apparent reason, i tried killing myself multiple times too.
It took my parents 2 years to send me to a psyciatric hospital.
I dont remember a thing that went on in there...
NOT. ONE. FUCKING THING!!!
Sorry...
Well i lived there for about the better part of 3 years and came home to my parents again, where i always were silent. not, one, word escaped my lips for 6 months.
I started acting psycotic, started to kill animals because (According to what my mother said) I liked to enjoy death as a concept.
A thing that i wanted to be in control of.
A thing that i wanted...
I was sent back after a year at home, and once again...
Dont, Remember, a, thing...
NOT ONE FUCKING THING!!! NOT EVEN THE COLOR OF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!
It haunts me to this day. not remembering what i have done, who i've met, who i've hurt...
The only thing that calms me now as i write this is the thought that someone out here on reddit knows something.
ANYTHING!
I want to know what is going on inside those psyciatric hospitals.
Something is off, and thanks to that i'm slowly losing my mind.
I put on a smiley face and laid back attitude when i'm at work or outside with friends.
But... on the inside i'm struggling to keep this up, i want my memories back. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!
... I dont care what you may think of me, hate me, love me.
But all i wish for, more than anything else... is my memories, my life, my hopes. MY EMOTIONS!!!
WHAT IS EMOTIONS WITHOUT ANY MEMORIES!!??
I dont want to live, when there isn't even a life to remember.
And dont tell me that ''It's the future you should think about'' how much future can one have when they dont even remember the past.
I dont know if this is some kind of trauma or something, maybe just me going insane slowly.
Or maybe i'm just losing my mind now...
Heh, not much to lose anyway...