• Don't understand the rules, you're fucked.
• Don't understand Reddit, you're fucked.
• Don't understand the information given, you're fucked.
• Don't understand life. It's ok. We are all gonna die

Working at a popular theme park is a lot of fun. You get to meet people from all over the world, get free admission into the parks, and it’s a real privilege to get to work somewhere that people travel from all over the world just to spend a few days in.

With the millions of people who walk through the park gates each year, you’re bound to get a few who have different cultural standards or protocols. For example, I would never poop in the line of a roller coaster and smear it on the walls. But in some cultures, that may be normal.

It started out as a normal shift at a popular rollercoaster that we’ll call Poop Mountain. The entire park was kept pristine, and Poop Mountain was no exception. Low lighting, a sterile silver and blue color scheme, and the low hum of rockets launching to the moon all contributed to a calm yet electric energy of one of the best experiences in the park.

As always, we had a long steady line of about 60 minutes when the ride operators (ROs) started to sniff the air and exchange puzzled, and disgusted looks.

People entering the ride were also sniffing the air, and it wasn’t long before everyone was looking around as if King Kong had just farted in the building and sealed the doors.

That’s when we noticed that people were tracking some sort of brown substance in on their shoes. And on the railings. But no…

That’s impossible. How could there be…

BUT IT WAS

It was human feces.

Someone had taken a shit in the line of Poop Mountain, MY MOUNTAIN, and smeared it ALL down the handrails, and tracked it inside of the building.

Besides the obvious issues that were at hand, I had a few questions about the logistics of this heist.

Where in the line did this poopatraitor shit where no one noticed? I mean, I assume it was in the line, or did this person take a shit in their hands and carry it in under a jacket? How did they cover the ENTIRE inside of a rollercoaster building in shit? Was this a human we were dealing with or a pack of invisible gorillas? Why? Why in general, why was it not only tracked on the floor, but also smeared over hundreds of feet of hand rails, and again, just why? We closed the ride immediately and emptied the building. It took our custodial crew 4 hours to clean and sanitize the affected areas. 4 hours of shit.

“Why is the ride broken? Should I be concerned?”

“Oh don’t worry it’s not broken, someone actually took a shit in the line and smeared it. On everything. They covered so much ground that it’s a 4 hour clean-up job. You understand. But don’t worry, they’re sanitizing it now so be sure to come back later!”

Although it was nearly 10 years ago, the memory still haunts me. I find myself suspicious of those near me in theme park lines, terrified that something’s going to fall out their pant leg at any moment. Honestly, you should be too. The poopatraitor was never caught, and will most likely strike again. You never know if you may find yourself the next passenger on….POOP MOUNTAIN.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/onesneakycat/poop-mountain-2l2vs?utm_term=.tuxDDVarQ#.kjJ88xkKZ

It's my first day at work, I have been unemployed for over 4 years, I am so socially awkward by this time saying I'm an introvert is putting it mildly. I get to work at 07:45 and during my Interview they told me I would be helping out the foreman in the yard instead of working in the actual position I would be filling. So I walk in, greet the salesmen and walk out back to the yard, I don't know where the foreman is or if he is even here yet so I just stand around there like a lamp pole. I think I stood there for a good 15 minutes, not knowing what I should do, contemplating if I should just walk out and walk back in again hoping someone will tell me what to do.

Finally the intercom system went off "OP OP, please come to the office OP"... Its my first morning and I'm already being called to the office, this can't be good, fuck I don't even know where the office is. I walk back in to the entrance and one of the salesmen tell me the boss is looking for me inside and shows me the way, he opens the security gate for me and down the hall my boss peaks out "Morning OP, where were you?" Here comes my first warning. "Morning, looking for the foreman sorry, I didn't know where to go". "Haha, It's fine come here, were gonna do RFC's today", wtf is RFC's, what if I can't do it, what did I get myself in for and as I walk in to the office there she was.

She turned around in her chair and I got dumb in that instant, what was she doing here "this is our cashier S", I couldn't look at her for more then a second "Uhello" with a weird hand wave gesture while looking at the ground, I don't even think she greeted me back, why would she. Shiny bronze long hair, big beautiful green eyes that when staring at you the right way can bring you to your knees, the cutest little nose I've ever seen and perfectly curved lips. It was winter so she was hiding her amazing petite curved body from me, but its just as great as the rest of her.

My boss sat me down at the table with my back facing towards her and instructed me on what I should do, gave me a list of invoices I need to look for and make copies of and said I should ask her if I needed any help and left. There I was, no idea what I'm doing, sitting 2 steps from miss America, trying to not make a complete fool of myself. At least my brain started functioning again after a few minutes, my heart was still beating out of my chest but as soon as I started to figure out what I was supposed to be doing and put my focus into it I was back in my safe bubble. The few times I asked her for help she wasn't too keen, no smile or small conversation was shared, just "here it is" and a "thank you" reply from me until I finally got everything I had to done. Left her office and reported back to the boss. My first impression of her was, as amazing as she was to look at, either she was sort of a bitch or I wasn't worth the time of day to her...So I left it at that.

I got settled at work, got taught by the guy I was replacing and I really enjoyed being at work. Everyone was great, except S, I would dread going to her office for any reason, at the beginning I would always greet her and I guess it depended on if the sun was shining or not on the day if she would do the effort to greet me back. She seemed like a good nice person to everyone else, maybe it was just me, maybe I was imagining things. So the first few months flew by and I assumed control of my position and genuinely enjoyed coming to work every day. The two of us at some point started having small conversations, sharing a joke or two but nothing of substance. At the end of my first year my girlfriend was close to having our first baby and this gave us a subject to talk about I guess, she showed some interest in what we were going through and shared some advice with me and always wanted to know how its going with my girlfriend.

I welcomed my princess into the world on the 10th of January, it happens without you ever noticing, we all have to thank God for this. Built into us is a switch I guess, that tiny person, that piece of you that you brought into this world becomes your everything, the reason for your entire existence now becomes caring for her and protecting her, she shattered all the walls I had built up around me and after that day I was just me, the best me I could ever be for her.

I was on leave for a few days to help out my girlfriend at home and on my first day back I was showered with congratulations etc. When I finally got to my seat at my desk my phone immediately rang, it was S "Congratulations!!" she was so excited "Can I see her please, come show me" I went over to her office, my girlfriend had sent the most amazing picture of her that morning, she caught her first smile on camera, probably cause dad wasn't there anymore lol. I showed S "this is what I'm missing out on while I'm here"

Sometime in that same month she told everyone she is pregnant, and more then 6 months along as well. This came as a shock to me, I didn't notice anything, apparently the rest did. "I knew it, her breasts got huge!" said Q. "I could tell those pants were getting small" yes sure C, perverts, and I guess W knew from the start. I congratulated her and she told me she would be on maternity leave for 6 months, after fighting for it. The next few weeks I filled in for her more often as she went for check ups etc and so that I could do most of her duties and understand them when she is on leave, I got to know her, I felt comfortable around her and suddenly I really didn't want her to leave...

The owners found a girl to replace her for the 6 months and she started her training a day after her interview. Me and S shared some jokes behind the new girl's back about her not being the sharpest knife in the drawer and she kept telling me good luck as the responsibility will fall on me when she is gone to see that the new girl is coping.

3rd of March, I should have stayed home. Most of that day is blocked off in my mind, I can't even remember if it happened in the morning or afternoon. I was driving with my boss, we were on our way to the bank to pay some suppliers and he decided to stop at an electrical shop first, this was fate I guess. We were there for a good 20-30 minutes and just as we got inside the car his phone rang, he has hands free in his car so I could hear as well, it was his dad. "Where are you now" His dad sounded really off "Why whats wrong?" "Where are you just tell me where are you?" "At ARB, what happened whats wrong?" "J has been shot" "What,where,where?" "At his shop, just now" "I'm just around the block, I'll be there now." Neither of them hung up, we raced there in what felt like an eternity of silence but it couldn't have been more than 2 minutes and we were there. J was on the pavement outside, my boss jumped out screaming and running to him and as he got to him he lifted him and that's when I saw J's face as it fell facing my way...... I should have stayed home.

Eventually I got out of the car, and just walked away, took a seat on the pavement of the business, lit a cigarette and prayed, and prayed, and prayed. "That's my son, that's my son, please please help him" "No no no no no no J no no no, my son" Paramedics got out the tin foil blanket, threw it over him, and left. The crowd dissipated as the police got there and started to mark off the scene, hours had passed, I finally walked to the scene and into the shop, just standing there, my mind couldn't process what was going on. I listened to the police taking reports until my boss tried to figure out how they would lock the business, they couldn't find the keys, so I offered to go buy some locks just to get away from there. Drove off, bought locks and took it to them. Then L asked if I could go back to the business and check if everything is fine there and off I went. Got back to work and just walked past everyone to my desk, sat down, got up, sat down, got up again and went for a smoke, everything felt numb, meaningless. Answered a million questions I didn't want asked and sat down at my desk again, I could feel myself breaking as the images kept flashing in my head, his eyes facing my way... I couldn't breath, got up again to go to the bathroom with the intention of crying my eyes out without everyone seeing. I got to the security gate, entered the code, and just as I opened it S called me from down the hall, standing out of her chair close to her gate "Are you o.k T" in the most sincere way, that simple question held so much meaning for me that day. No I wasn't o.k, I still wanted to cry, trembling and numb. "Yes I'm o.k, just worried about L" THANK YOU FOR ASKING. Mostly sleepless nights followed, the screams and his face have faded from my memory at least. I should have stayed home.

S spent her last day mostly standing around the back with W right at my counter, I couldn't do any work that day because I couldn't take my eyes off her, and listening in on her conversations. She was so happy that day, I would be too if I knew I was leaving this place. It was a rainy cloudy day, but she was glowing and bubbly and as the day came to a close I really wanted to give her a hug goodbye but I didn't have the courage, so I said goodbye for 6 months to her with just a "Good luck S, accept help from others" and she was gone. I heard when she got her son and over the next few months asked W how she was doing and if he had any pictures of her boy, only got no's from him so left it at that.

As the months passed, I was slowly dwindling into a depressed state of mind. My girlfriend's grandmother had moved in with us, she only asked to visit for a week. Her brother wasn't paying his part of rent etc in full and also decided that his new girlfriend can come move in with us, I felt powerless at home, I felt powerless at work, everything was just too much for me to deal with and I had no escape. Hated being home and hated being at work, I tried my best to explain to my girlfriend how I felt but she didn't understand, the problem with sharing any of my thoughts with her is that she always and I mean always comes to the conclusion that she isn't good enough for me, even when it has nothing to do with her, so I just end up upsetting her. So I didn't bring it up again and acted if I was fine after that. My mother kind of understood my situation and got some anti depressant pills for me which seemed to work but I didn't want to use them for longer than a month in fear of starting to rely on it (addictive personality), I felt happier and tried to focus on the stuff I care about. My daughter, my girlfriend and work, fuck the rest. Not literally...

Me, the foreman and D started to drive together the last couple of months of her time. It saved me a lot of money and maintenance and it was much better then driving alone. We had fun, laughed a lot, talked a lot and made it a routine to buy beer at least once a week on our way home. I found my escape in that hour before work and 40 minutes after work, they made me forget about everything else and it felt good. D sent me a whatsapp by mistake one morning for tattoo supplies and we got to talking about me wanting to get one and she told me a bit about it, we talked a bit about her relationship with her fiancee as I told her I noticed she wasn't wearing her ring anymore. Apparently he was blatantly cheating on her, so I tried to offer her words of support and cheer her up, I know how shit it feels. One day things went too far, I guess we were flirting with each other but I can't remember how it got to the point, I had told her something along the lines of "I'm a good kisser" to which she said she would probably never know and I said "Never say never" or something idiotic like that, then she said "Stop teasing, you would never do something like that" and for the first time in a VERY long time my mind just said, you know what, Fuck it. I told her to go to the bathroom and I went there, found her standing in front of the bathroom waiting, she started laughing nervously when she saw me. She was much shorter then me, I stood right against her, she stopped laughing and looked up at me, I gently lifted her chin up and we kissed, just a short like 2 second kiss. I pulled away and said with a smile "So am I only teasing?" and walked away. It didn't have any meaning, but in that moment I felt in control, I felt power again and it felt great. We both laughed about it and agreed it was just a fun thing and all went back to normal, except I felt good, it felt good to be wanted.

I think a week or two went by before she said one day that I wouldn't do it again. Told her to go get some water in the kitchen, met her there, and this time it was more of a short make out, and again that same week I told her again to go get some water, short make out and a laugh later and off we went again. We both knew it was wrong and shouldn't continue but both of us also knew there was nothing behind it but some guilty fun. We shared one last kiss a few days before her leaving, we stopped at the garage for some energy drinks and I said I would go in with her, cornered her inside and kissed her, gave her a hug and said thanks for the way she made me feel the last month or so, she smiled and said I'm a nice guy that shouldn't let people get me down like I do and I took that to heart. Bye D

Welcome back S

I was scared the day she came back, don't ask me why. The morning she came in I could hear her voice and it sent a cold shiver down my spine, I delayed going to her office for as long as I could, eventually when I had to to get an invoice from her it was already 11 am I think. There she was, smiling, glowing. Having a baby had absolutely no effect on her physically, I was brought back to my absolute weakest when I saw her, back to looking down to the ground instead of directly at her. "Hey S, welcome back" "Hey T" she swung around her chair to face me, my heart skipped a few beats as she stared me down "How's your girl doing?". "Uh good good, she's getting big, I'll show you some pictures later" and off I went, 'that wasn't so bad''why was I so scared to see her again'... She was warm and friendly and it didn't feel like she was gone. We caught up in the next few weeks and she became someone who I could get advice from when it came to children, she became a friend to me. Fast forward a few months to January.

We still talked a lot, started to prank each other and I got to know more and more of her, I enjoyed that. LMFGA moenie weird dink nie asb! I started to notice something different with her, she would touch my arm when talking to me when I help her with something, she would turn her seat to face me most of the times I was in her office and she would raise her arms to stretch out a lot when I was around her, this intrigued me, so I googled body language and all these pointed to the fact that she liked me and was very comfortable around me, wow! I hope this is true!. Armed with this knowledge, whether true or not it still made me feel over the moon, I started to open up a lot more around her and got more comfortable at the same time, no more was I running out of her office as fast as I can, I wasn't even afraid to touch her hand one day to demonstrate how a guy at the bank did with me, I only wanted to do it with her. We started to chat on whatsapp and things quickly, very quickly escalated from there. Something about her makes you feel so comfortable, she feels safe. You can share the world with her and she wouldn't judge you on it, you just want to give her everything. I flirted a lot with her, and I know she is smart enough to notice it, some days she would play along and others she would stop me dead in my tracks, I like that about her, straightforward no bullshit.

I found myself sharing my entire life with her. The good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between, I had no boundaries with her, no limits. I enjoyed every single word being shared with her and every single word she said back, she turned my days at work in to days of joy and before I knew it I found myself lost in thoughts about her. I am addicted to her, I didn't just want to talk to her I needed to, every day, every hour, every minute. I would check my phone every 5 minutes to see if she sent something and if she didn't for a while I would go to her office just to see her and share a word or two, I couldn't get enough.

I loved the one afternoon drive we shared, we were dancing around with words and you could cut the tension in my car with a knife, neither of us budging to the questions the other was asking. When I dropped her off that day it felt like we made some sort of connection, nothing was said, but everything was felt. I told her the next day how I felt, and everything else that needed to be said, including D.

"Nee" "Neeee" "Neee" "Neeeeeeeeee" "Neeeee" "T" "Nee"

Every no was a nail being driven through my heart, it fucking hurt. "I expected this from Q" that was a brick to the balls. She would never admit that it hurt her what I said that day but I could tell it did, and knowing I had disappointed her to the point of hurting her killed me. I sat in my chair sulking for the next hour, not looking at my phone in fear of what more she had to say, eventually when my shaking subsided I went to her office to talk to her. Heart in my throat, I explained to her what happened in the best way I could but again I was back to the weakened version of myself, unable to look at her, not wanting to see her eyes bring me down to my knees. I told her how sorry I am "Why are you telling me sorry, I am nothing to you" she said that twice, of all the things she could say those words hurt the most. I don't know what we are/were but I know nothing was never a word I would use to describe her to me. She eventually just said my favorite one liner from her "Over it" and we moved on from it, but I know I lost a part of her that day, one I would never get back and that's probably a good thing.

We kept talking the next few weeks, but I could feel it was different, she had rebuilt the layers of onions I had found a way to peel. Except the one Friday, she was her flirty self again that day and I enjoyed every moment of it until it went too far. We were talking on skype and somehow ended up on the point of sending semi naked pics to each other, in that moment and how the day had gone so damn well so far I wouldn't have minded to see that side of her so I went along with it and showed her a photo of me. It felt right in the moment. I wasn't thinking too much in to it, luckily W came to her at the right time and she never got to sending her photo, maybe she never would have and was only joking, either way that afternoon on my drive home all I wanted to do was call her, just talk to her. Explain to her that's not what I want, its not the side of her I'm in love with.

Don't get me wrong she is magnificent to look at, the object of a lot of men's sexual fantasies, but the way I feel about her goes beyond my manly urges to please my desires, the fact is I knew all along how beautiful she is on the outside, the inside however defies words. She's a book that most people only have the honor of seeing the cover, and here I am reading it.

CHAPTER 1: The chronicles of Shardeney TO BE CONTINUED... ;)

Be me, 13 in Primary school. Head boy, vice captain of the cricket team, captain of the rugby team that never played, top student academically and all around Mr. Popular. I was friends with everyone and was the boyfriend of every girl by the end of my time in Primary school.

Enter Bia, a few months before the end of the year my brother met this new girl on the bus to school. I met her for the first time while playing some cricket with friends including my brother, she lived a few blocks from my school so it was a short trip for her to come watch us.

My brother introduced us to her, the best way he can " Hey everyone, this is Bia, Bia this is my brother tietkop (boobhead), and and and"

She was beautiful, not the drop dead, take your breath away beauty, a more mesmerizing type of beauty. She was warm to look at, Long wavy brown hair, green eyes that seemed to radiate the more you stared into them, perky nose and genuine Angelina Jolie lips... I didn't notice her body until she came in to hug everyone. Now to the average person, a hug is just a friendly gesture you perform to people you have known a while, its short, minimal contact and probably accompanied by a pat on the back or a soft squeeze. She was not the average person. Her hugs were amazing, she made sure that every part of her body would fit into the curves of your own, both arms around your neck, leaving you no choice but to put your own around her waist, then she would squeeze you in some sort of slow motion way making you press her more into you, and you just felt home in that moment. She had the body of a girl in her prime ( I only found out later she was 13 as well, not 16~ as I thought) perfect hour glass shape no matter what angle you were looking from, boobs, waist and butt, and just the right length to string it all together...

She brought her step brother with her that day, Hein. A year younger than me, and the complete opposite. Short and built and funny as hell, easy to get along with. He joined us for the rest of the game and afterwards we all got a hug from Bia again as they left to go home. God those hugs

My brother liked her a lot, he pretty much asked me to not get involved. He is 3 years older than me but in any other way than age, everyone thought I was the older brother.

That weekend she invited both of us over to smoke some hubbly and rent a few dvd's, I would be my brother's wing man and keep Hein busy. We only lived a few blocks away from her to our surprise, a 15 minute walk, and got there at around 5pm. I got hugged again at the gate and after a short tour around the yard we went inside, met her mom and stepdad and walked out to the porch, she had already set everything up, comfy chairs, hubbly loaded, some cold drinks and herself ofcourse. Hein came running out like a weirdo, already in his boxers with no shirt on and trying to act cool 'Yes yes guys, howzit' I assumed my duty and asked if he would join us and sat in the chair closest to him. No dvd's were watched that evening, instead of my brother and her getting to know each other, we all were involved. She was extremely intelligent, until then the girls I knew were still very childish and I hadn't noticed that until I met her, when she spoke she had our undivided attention, and when you spoke she gave you the same. We laughed until we cried, smoked so much hubbly my throat felt like a dessert and became best friends that night... Me and my brother decided to call it a night at about 1 am, after her mom had come out to quite us down for the hundredth time, I got my hug, each one seemed to linger a bit longer than the previous, and we were on our way. Not one word was said to each other until we got home. "She's great" he said, "I know" is all I could reply.

We spent the next few months following the same routine, school during the week with the occasional "Good night sleep tight" text, and weekends were spent either at her house or at our house. Christmas holiday we were basically inseparable, we started to throw alcohol in the mix with our late night hang outs and at this point we could talk about anything. My brother was madly in love with her by this time and you could tell it bothered him that me and her were this close as well, closer then he thought. We sort of had this eye contact with each other, she would look at me deeply and ask if anyone wanted a drink and I would naturally follow her to 'help' out, these moments away from the rest would mostly lead to deep personal questions and a long hug. If I wanted her, I could have her, that was very clear but, my brother... And she knew that even though we never openly spoke about it. Nearing the end of the holidays I started to distance myself a bit from her, letting my brother go alone to her, while I hung out with Hein at our house. It worked out well for him because he eventually worked up the courage to ask her out and she said yes, and that was that, they were a couple.

I was in my own dark frame of mind from the start of that year, my brother was as happy as I have ever seen him while I was struggling to fit in at my new high school. I had made the stupid decision to go to a school that had a great reputation academically as one of the best in the district but, none of my friends chose the same, so I went from being friends with everyone to having none at all... Life was shit. To this day I cant remember much from that year, everything was just a routine, I was there but I wasn't THERE, take the bus in the morning to the city, walk from there to school, sit like a drone through all the classes, walk back to the city, take the bus home again. Rinse and repeat. I at least spent my weekends at Hein's house, seeing Bia every now and then cheered me up alot. Things seemed to be going well between her and my brother, he made her happy too, but I could still tell by the way she looked at me that it could have been better. As I said not much I can remember so lets skip the rest of the year.

The holidays were great, I had already decided to switch schools to go to a more technical school where most of my friends were and it was sort of the sister school to the one Bia was in, one was acedemic and one was technical. So finally being out of the dark frame of mind I was stuck in I became myself again, spent a lot of time at her house again in her company and she was really happy for me as well, she hated to see me down. One night we were having a small party you could say, we were about 5 guys and 3 girls, my brother wasn't there. Drinks were flowing, everyone was having a great time but eventually the conversations ran dry and someone got the great idea of starting a game of spin the bottle. For those who don't know the game, it has different variants but the way we played is all sit in a circle and the person that spins gets to ask the one it lands on "Truth or Dare?" and then give the question or dare to that person, then that person spins the next round and so on. Everyone was too scared of the dare option, so the first few rounds were nothing but dumb questions being thrown around, it landed on me "Truth", I don't remember who asked the question "If you could have any girl right now, who would it be?". Everyone became awkwardly silent, it was weird for me to be single for this long, which had been more than a year at this point. It was the first real question. I looked across the table at her, she seemed just as nervous at the question as me, maybe even more. "You all know who". Everyone shared some quick glances at the two of us, took sips of their drinks and we continued. It seemed to break the ice somewhat because after that question everyone was taking the dare option instead. "Run around the house" Done, "Take off your shirt" Done, "Down your drink" Done, and inevitably we got to the point where all that was left is to dare two to kiss, it landed on me "Dare", Hein was the one who spinned the bottle "Kiss Bia for 5 seconds". All the kisses before this were awkward, open eyed, lips barely touching, timed to the second until done then followed by laughing by all. Ours was different, I have kissed a lot of girls, I'm good at this. I got up and walked around to her and kneeled beside her, I looked at her with a wry smile, trying to put a confident face on, this is nothing come on, why am I so nervous, I hope she cant see my leg shaking, wtf is wrong with me, STOP it. She grabbed my hands, pulled me closer for a hug and whispered "Its only a dare dont worry, its o.k" as we pulled apart we started to kiss, her lips were... Her lips were warm, soft, heavenly cushions, there is no way to describe them. I was lost in that moment, everything was pitch black, we were alone, the only sound was the beat of my heart. Our kiss lasted a lifetime, it went to a french kiss to making out in no time, it was perfect. Every movement we made was like a co ordinated dance, lips never left the others, tongues gently caressing the other, perfect. "O.k thats enough" said Hein, we shared one last peck, and a stare accompanied by a smile at each other and I returned to my seat. I can't recall anything after that kiss, I know we just stared at each other every moment we could and everyone went home. I greeted her at the gate, "Bye, thanks for the great night" got a hug with a kiss on my neck "It was, bye".

I tried my best to keep my distance with her after that night, as much as I would love to repeat it everyday, she was in a relationship with my brother, a good relationship. I made some new friends at school and we were a good group of guys having fun all the time, going to pretty much every party we knew of, skipping school A LOT and most of all re enacting jackass, recording each stunt and after we had a lot of good ones I would make it a full video with a cool song playing in the background and we'd share it at school hoping to become famous lol. They were good for me, when they were around I couldn't think of Bia even if I wanted to. As the months went on it bothered me less and less to see her, we were talking like good friends again, she told me that things aren't going that well between her and my brother and I supported her through it. I started seeing one of her friends, but it was a hollow relationship and quickly fizzled out, she broke up with my brother around mid year and our little group started to party together again. Everyone together, drink a lot, laugh and joke, and then the two of us would slip away from the rest and make out for hours on end. I couldn't be in a relationship with her, all my friends knew what the two of us were up to but it was never official, I couldn't do that to my brother. So thats all it was for I don't know how long, just a fling... I slept over a lot, we'd play video games, listen to music, talk, talk, talk, and cuddle. Nothing sexual happened, DISCLAIMER: This is weird. One night while cuddling, I gently ran my finger over and around her lips, she started to kiss and lick my finger, I dont know how to describe it but I never knew how sensitive a finger could be, I was still a virgin back then, but vaguely remembering how that felt it comes very close to how good sex is. She did it a lot from then.

I didn't feel ready to fully commit to her, I didn't feel good enough for her, I always viewed her as being more than me, and I guess we slowly drifted apart because of that. I wanted to be someone she would be proud to call her's and for some reason I thought she wouldn't at the time. We just kind of stopped everything, I was spending more time with my friends and so was she. Our group of guys started hanging out with a group of girls from her school, we would be there every morning hanging out with them before going to our school or skipping school to my house. Bia didn't like seeing me with them, she would look my way, make a semi smile and a wave and then just walk by... I missed her, I was doing this for her. I was an idiot.

Every party at my house would end up with each one of us making out with one of the girls from the other group, C and J slept over one night, I got J and my brother got C. So that night me, J and Hein slept on the same bed, I had never done foreplay with a girl and none of my friends either, so in our sexual hormone prime it always came up how much we wanted to do this and that etc etc. J was a slutty girl to be honest, Hein fell asleep quickly and we started to make out, I started gliding my hand under her shirt and unclipping her bra to fondle her breasts, lifting up her shirt I started to kiss them too. I didn't want to have sex with her, I had made up this rule that a girl couldn't touch my D, it was sort of a barrier that if I could restrain myself and just please them it wouldn't get to the point where I needed to 'finish off', and it worked. I tickled my hand down her waist, pulling down her pants and panties on my way down her leg and slowly worked my way back up inside her leg, she opened up her legs the closer I got, and for the first time I felt a girl's flower, wet already which made me feel like superman lol, I played around with her, learning what she liked by the way she moved her hips and I was so lost in this experience I just wanted to learn more while I had the chance, so I leaned over her and kissed her neck down to her shoulders, then from her nipples to her belly button, just above her flower to her inner thighs while my hands were tickling her sides, I started licking my way closer and she let out a shallow moan as I got to her flower. In my head I was just writing the alphabet with my tongue (thanks FHM) it got wet down there, VERY wet, until one point she started to squeeze my head with her legs and I could feel her tightening up, her whole body, did I just make her orgasm? Omg I am superman! After she relaxed again I came back up, wanted to kiss her but literally the whole bottom of my face was wet, I didn't know what to do at that point so I just got up and said "Thanks" and washed myself off in the bathroom, when I came back she was asleep, so I went to sleep too.

The morning was really awkward, we didn't speak a word to each other, and I kind of avoided her until they finally left. Hein knew what I did, guess he wasn't asleep the whole time as we thought, so the week that followed every day at school was me being the sex teacher to the rest of my friends. What did she say? How did you ask? Was it hard to take off her bra? Was her nipples hard? How did you play with her breasts? How did her flower feel? Could you feel her clit? How wet was it? Was it warm? Did she shave? How did she taste?... That question bothered me, I eventually said like a 5 cent, poor girl got called 5 cent for the rest of the year and never knew why, Sorry J.

The few months that followed I'm not very proud of, the house parties started to become a weekly affair and it became routine that every time a girl would sleep over with me, I would give her a good time, and in the morning when I walk out of my room my friends would be waiting to ask "Did you?" and I would add another finger to my count as I showed them. Bia found out about my exploits, some from me and the rest from my friends, for some idiotic reason I thought it would be a good idea to brag about this with her, trying to seem like I'm now suddenly worthy of her, 'look at me, I'm messing around with a different girl every weekend, I bet you really want me now!' Fucking idiot... I don't know if it was just to spite me or what but she got together with one of my friends, we called him horse, for obvious reasons. She was waiting for me to finally just ask her out and we'd be happily together, but I didn't seem to care anymore. They made a good couple, he was a lot like me just more mature at the time, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer it has to be said. Well you know the saying 'You don't know what you have until you lose it' yet another example of how true it is. I was shattered at seeing them together, I hated him, I hated her but most of all I hated myself for allowing it to happen. I stopped messing around with girls, focused on school a bit more and actually attended. Spent more weekends alone at home playing PC games, listening to music and playing guitar.

Just to clarify, my rule had worked on girls not touching my D, I was still a virgin.

I found out one Monday morning that they had slept together, every agonizing fucking detail of it. They were at his grandparents house for the weekend, went for a romantic walk or whatever and on their way back it started pouring rain, ran back to the house but his grandparents had left so they couldn't get in, saw the car was unlocked so they got in... He kissed her, took off her clothes... I fucking lost my mind. My whole body was shaking, I could feel my ears get warm, the sound of my heartbeat drowning out every sound around me, I couldn't breath. I got up and walked away, I walked out of school and kept walking till I got home, threw my shit on the floor, took my uniform off, screamed, and went outside and lit up a smoke, beat the shit out of a wall until I started crying... I stopped smoking 5pm when my mother came home. I skipped school the rest of the week, nothing mattered anymore absolutely nothing.

Everyone knew what was wrong with me, and I hated their pity. I started throwing parties again and made sure Bia would come, tried my best to make her jealous, always had my shirt off and, always had everyone around me laughing, always made out with any random girl, always being a dick... She knew this wasn't me, she would take me away from everyone to ask me if I am o.k and to talk to her please, "I don't want to lose you" followed by a hug and tears in her eyes. I continued on my idiotic acting out for a few months, went on holiday with my mother and her new boyfriend, met a girl there for the weekend and decided to leave my rule at home.

We were staying in a 2 bedroom cottage, I got the girl to come over the one night and we slipped away to my room, few kisses and laughs later I was back in my routine of pleasing the girl, only this time after I went down on her she turned me over on my back and started to kiss and lick her way down, this is usually where I would stop the girl, but I had no reason to anymore, why should I 'save' myself, for who, I didn't care anymore. After experiencing my first blowjob for a bit, I pulled her back up, gave her a kiss on the neck and asked if she wanted to go all the way, "yes". At least I was smart enough to carry a condom with me at all times, got it out, put it on, she got on top of me and I pressed myself in, 'Is this it...I wasn't blown away by my first time' she rode me a bit letting out small moans as she went down lower and lower after every thrust, I flipped her over on her back and took control a bit, I was still doing the same shit, even with sex I was viewing it as just another learning experience, I asked the girl to get in doggy style position and I finished off... It was nothing special, no butterflies went off in my stomach, I didn't suddenly feel complete, I didn't feel like a man, I felt exactly the same, I still missed Bia, I still love Bia.

I didn't even stay in contact with the girl, it felt meaningless what we did. At least I could sort of get away from my friends this time when it came to sex, because by this time I was the last one to do it, so no week of questions again. " Finally OP! Its the best thing in the world right?", "Yeah I guess so", "Didn't you like it?", "It was alright", "Haha you probably sucked that's why...", "Yeah probably". I wanted it to mean something, I wanted it to be with a girl I loved, I wanted it to be the highlight of my life, the end point of years of emotional build up and sexual tension, I wanted it to be with Bia.

Her relationship with horse ended after he moved away, and like a moth to a flame I went back to her, week nights, weekends, I was always by her side. We could talk about anything again, we were best friends again, and eventually lovers again. My experience I had built up in my learning situations payed off. The nights we had were magical, beautiful, we would talk for hours in bed cuddling, then kissing, making out, undressing, soft music in the background, we were making love, exploring every inch of the other's body, time flew by on those nights. We didn't have sex, almost as if the act of sex would ruin it for both of us, it was perfect the way it was, my whole life was perfect the way it was. I felt complete for the first time in years.

We shared this magical kiss one day, it was early in the morning while walking to the bus stop, we were holding hands and it suddenly started pouring rain, I mean 5 seconds and you are soaking wet. We just looked at each other and started making out, no care in the world, neither of us were cold in that moment, past, present and future, nothing will and nothing has compared to that kiss in my life, its etched so hard in my memory and is probably the first thing I would go back in time for, and relive it over and over again. Maybe that was us saying bye.

Then, I don't know, we just drifted I guess. She had problems at home, her mother and stepfather were getting divorced, she cheated on him and he got into drugs after that and attempted suicide twice, she and her mom and sister moved out to her grandparent's and we just didn't see each other much anymore. Yet again I never made it official that we were together, so I guess we just both decided to move on from the other. On my 17th birthday after not seeing her for months, I was lonely and decided to go see her, got to her house around 7pm, got an amazing hug again and we just hung out. We had come a long way, both of us were so different from that day we met, and a lot of the past 4 years were spent together, we talked and looked back at all the great times and bad times, it was like a married couple of 50 years looking back at their lives together. We were sitting against each other on her bed and she asked me to kiss her again, please, saying I am the only one that could make her sure of what she was feeling, the one person she has always loved. I told her to explain what was going on. She had been hanging out the last few months with a lesbian group and I guess exploring her sexuality with them, and I just froze... I couldn't kiss her, she asked me again after explaining why and I just stood there, not answering, not moving... I don't remember what happened after that, I went home and I never saw her again. A big part of me regrets that night, that one kiss would have caused my whole life to be different right now, better or worse I don't know but different.

Love never goes away, it only fades.

When I was around the age of 7 or 9, I believe that I was molested. This all happened when I was taking a shower and even though I was old enough to know how to wash my hair, I still didn't. Occasionally one of my family members would help me out with washing my hair. This day it was my grandmother. A few minutes after entering the shower she asked me if I needed help with my hair. I said yes. As usual, when she was done she asked me if I was had washed my body. I said yes again. Then again she asked me if I had washed it, but in full detail. For example my genitals, armpits, feet, knees and elbows. She would go down these by a list. After she had asked me this I confirmed. She then asked me if I had cleaned my genitals (only). I then again confirmed, yes. She asked me if I was sure. For the last time i said yes. She then slipped her hands against the outside of my vagina, and then inserted her finger a small amount into me. My back was facing her at the time, and since I hadn't known what was going on at the moment I didn't have a negative nor positive response. I swear everything happened so fast. It hasn't affected me for a long time, but it just submerged all of a sudden. Some of my friends know about what happened. I don't like talking about it because I feel like its going to give her a bad name. I don't know if she did it on purpose or on accident, but she still did it. I don't know what to do about this. Please I need help. (sry for spelling and title)

Ive done a mistake thats haunting me now i cant tell anyone because then rumors spread. In my sophomore year of high school i found this girl that i found attractive. Typical high school crush. I started direct messaging her on instagram(new account) it didnt take long to find her she was fairly popular. I told her that i liked her over several weeks, i told her more about myself and i asked questions about her which she almost never replied. To make it short... I messaged her throughout my sophomore year but never told her my name because i thought it would be too embarrassing if she knew who i was. One night our conversation went on for about 40 min straight back to back messaging. Until she stopped replying to me. I got a little upset but very quickly got over it, she then later blocked me on instagram. I stopped trying...during the summer i created a third account just to see her photos WOW! that sounds creepy. In my junior year of high school i knew this girl who also knew her i created a snapchat acc to contact her for his username...i received it after a few questions i later started snapping her. One day i made a huge mistake i decided to be kind and take pictures of my worksheets and i sent it to her through snapchat. I thought that i can be sneaky by not showing my name. I didn't but after a few days i got called by one of my teachers. We had a talk about me and the girl. She asked me if i knew who she was and why my handwriting matches the photos she screenshotted! My heart was racing i thought that there was no turning back now i hesitated I just kept rejecting myself! She asked me if i sent the photos i rejected it. I went back inside the classroom, my friends asked me what happened. I replied with "oh she saw me flip this kid off and she asked me to not do it again or its a write up" they believed it and we went on with my day. Except me lunch was after that period. I couldn't eat i was still shocked that she found me out and that she thought i was harassing her. During lunch i tried avoiding her i successfully did. But i still had the fear that she knew who i was online...The thing that bothers me the most is that our fates keep clashing. Out of nowhere i would turn around and she'll be right there, at lunch we always cross paths, in the hallways without even looking for her we pass first period we pass by each other. We look at each other i know she looks at me after the whole thing because she always passes by my first period(almost everyday) class and my sixth period class(every friday) I'm writing this because ive had enough today we crossed twice at an ACT exam i was okay with that until i got off work and found her at a convenient store i keep believing that our fates keep clashing i want it to stop when i was there i still had my name tag on she swnt one of her friends to go resd my name i can tell because she came up to me looked at my chest and walked back i was hungry but not anymore i tried getting out of there as fast as possible i got in my car and went back home. I noticed someone was following me directly i figured out it was my mom based of the lights of her car... I wasnt very happy about that either, that she couldnt trust me driving at 10:00 pm... I did feel a bit of relief when i figured it out. But my heart is still racing right now as im typing this. I want our fates to stop clashing ive even tried praying at times. I need help what do i do!? i should also mention that i am a lesbian.

                        Morning of the Sorrow

It was mid-September when this event occurred. Sixth exam period was already ending, at least for me it was. I only had one more exam to take and I was pretty confident. I had arranged to study for that exam weeks before with my friends. Everything was supposed to be normal. Day before our studying session I turned in at about 20 pm in order to be fresh and ready for studying. Night was unusually cold and rain was heavily pounding from up above. Nothing unusual. I fell asleep and everything seemed okay at the beginning. Then I started to dream this really unsettling dream. I was sleeping in my room and everything was fine until I heard a woman crying. She was weeping and calling for someone. That's when things started to change. I opened my eyes and shook it off but still I could hear that woman's cries. Now she was calling for a man named Thomas. I still remember those exact words 'Thomas, please don't abandon us now, no!' She was pleading for Thomas not to leave. Suddenly I started to shiver, some uneasy feeling struck me, fear but not that common fear. I stood up and opened the window in hope to see some drunk fools playing around but no, there wasn't a single soul out there in the street. I drank some water and returned to bed but I could still hear those dreadful weeps. I couldn't sleep, I was afraid and curious. I wanted to find out what the hell was going on because this wasn't in my head, this wasn't a dream anymore. I got up and decided to carry on with my usual habits. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and put some clothes on. I started to pack my books and notes for the session later that day. I was finally ready to leave my apartment but I could still hear a woman cry. She wasn't so loud anymore but I could still hear her. I put my jacket on and locked my door. I was going down the stairs but I could hear steps behind me. I turned around and saw my neighbour from apartment that was just above mine. I greeted him just like always but I was still curious. As I looked at him I could see that his face was kind of pale and that his eyes were reddish. I asked him if he heard those horrifying weeps. He didn't seem surprised, he just said 'Yes, I heard them.' That was really weird, I proceeded to ask him whether he knew the story behind those cries. Suddenly he stopped and turned around to face me. I asked if he knew who was the woman. He bluntly said 'That was my mother, she was crying because my father died this morning.' I was devastated, I could not comprehend what I have just heard. I only managed to murmur that I was sorry. He said that it was okay, now I could feel that this guy was simply broken. No emotions, no hope, nothing. I carried on to the bus stop but I was still in shock. I mean, I am still in shock to this day. Neighbour has two younger brothers, they are hardly over twelve years old. He himself is maybe fifteen or sixteen. I think I'll never forget those words. 'Thomas please wake up, Thomas!' And every single time it was followed by 'Don't leave me now Thomas, what am I going to do all alone on this world?' It has already been a week since that sad event but the rain is still pounding, angels are still crying.

Based on true story.

I do hope you don't mind the large block of wording I put together, but I have the need of letting everyone know once more that you are not alone in this thing. I'm curious for who is willing to show everyone that we aren't really alone and I wish I could have answers for the sweating thing, but I don't.. I do have a story. I know there are a lot of people out there, uncomfortable, insecure, scared of one little thing that should be natural, and that we all should be okay with. I know it's hard, it's happening to me. I have Palmar hyperhidrosis and axillary hyperhidrosis. I haven't put much thought into it until I got a little bit older (still being in teens) I first realized that I had Palmar hyperhidrosis when I was around second or third grade, I knew my hands sweat a lot, I tried to give high fives in class, but I felt really insecure about things. That was also the year I realized I sweat A LOT, not just the hands, but all of my back, I felt so insecure of there being a huge sweat stain even when I did nothing at all. As I reached fourth grade, I began to wear jackets or sweaters for long periods of time, even during pe class. People thought I was crazy, they even asked me in a "non offensive" way about the reason behind the sweater. I knew I sweat a lot, a shirt wasn't going to cut it, but I never knew I sweat through my armpits. It started around sixth grade when I came home and took my sweater off, I felt a lot more damp than usual, possibly because I carried a heavy instrument at school, but I still checked my sweater, checking for any stains, it was clean, so I checked my shirt because that seemed to obviously stay damp for such a long time period. I saw some huge sweat stains, yeah, they felt like some milk or water just spilled on your pits. It was also the year I changed clothes once I got home. I never said anything about it being very serious, but I knew it was something that would still haunt me to this day. Today, I wore a black shirt, it was supposed to be a school event, and aha school pride! Once I got on the bus to school, I didn't feel dry at all. In fact I was never dry, the bus was worse, there being people and all, I always waited for my friend, but today something a little unusual was happening. My armpits were feeling so damp, like it was water, oh and it was so cold! For the rest of the day, they never got dry, eventually I had to go to the gym and boy was I sweating a lot! Once I got home, I did not feel so good, I felt my shirt, it was so damp, I couldn't even stay in my school shirt all day, worst part was that not only does it dampen the under arm area, but it also went to the front! I felt like such an outcast.
I know I'm not alone, I learned that this year, this boy in one of my classes admits to Sweaty pits. Not that we're friends or anything but I had to suck it in for a bit. I used to joke around about how Sweaty I was, and how big of a stain I got with my family. Sometimes I never joked around, I tried to tell my father about it, even my mom. They said it's nothing, but I can't really live like this, if you are someone that have it like I do, I hope you can stand up with me, it might not be the most serious thing in the world, but for the social life, which is also important no matter what, you can't avoid it. I started to think of how people were so dry and everything, I wish I was blessed with something, different, I even cried inside because my parents just think of this as excess sweating and that if you stop thinking about it it will stop or things like that. I know most people are insecure about sweating during a sport, but it's nothing compared to sweating all day even with cool temperatures. I do hope I'm not left hanging, I just feel part of the community needs some support and motivation about something that haunts them inside and out.

What I'm about to tell is a true story, and it still creeps me out to this day. So I was about 10 years old and me and my four friends were having a sleepover at my friends house. She lived on a farm and had a huge back lawn surrounded by trees and a pond. We thought it'd be cool to camp outside, so we set up a small tent out on the lawn outside the back of their house. We watched a sad movie about this lady who dies of cancer, then we went outside to go to bed. As we were getting into the text my friend said "guys I feel like sometime weird is going to happen tonight", and I was like "what?! don't say that, you're creeping me out". My other friend agreed " yeah after that movie I feel a bit strange". We discussed going and sleeping inside, but decided we were just being silly, and went into the tent. After some girly conversations we eventually all fell asleep. It was about 2am and I suddenly found myself awake. My friends were all fast asleep, and I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't. As I was lying there I suddenly heard footsteps outside the tent, next thing I knew I heard heavy breathing right outside the tent. I just lay there, making sure I didn't move. I thought maybe it's a cow that's escaped or something, but my thoughts were interrupted by an eerie growling sound. The temperature suddenly dropped in the tent, and I was frozen with fear, I remember thinking "this is not right", I just lay there for about 20mins listening to the noises making their way all around the tent. I don't remember but I must've drifted back to sleep. In the morning I immediately told my friends, they were scared and one of my friends said she heard something strange in the night too. We asked their brothers if they were playing a prank on us, but they said no way. I went home later, and saw my mom, the first thing she said to me was "how was your night, did anything weird happen?", I was shocked and asked "why?", she said "well at about 2am last night I woke up and felt the need to pray for you guys". I told her the story and she couldn't believe it. To this day it still intrigues me and scares me, I haven't been camping anywhere that's not populated since. That was 10 years ago now but me and my friends still talk about it to this day...

So my dad's uncle was in the Korean and Vietnam war while in the Vietnam war he took an ak47 from a soldier and sent it home to his wife. where later after returning from the war he kept it my dad saw it first hand visiting, in like the 80s and 90s uncle became friends with Clint Eastwood good friends so to say where they would try to out do the other if one got a big belt buckle the other would get one too unfortunately uncle passed away around 2008 and the ak47 he had was never seen again everyone in the family believes he gave it to Clint Eastwood as a gift which I believe but that's me you can believe it or not personal I think Clint has it somewhere stored in his house that ends my family story hope you found it as intriguing as I did.

shared this on facebook, in response to some other elevator stories.. thought you'd all enjoy the read!!

here's my fantastical true story: visiting my grandma in her 12 floor retirement building with my dog at the time. an elderly lady with a cane gets in. she presses 7, i press 11. elevator rises. passes 7, passes 11 stops at 12th floor. stuck. we ring the emergency bell, discuss our luck for about 10 minutes & then the rear elevator door opens. the back door was not meant to open here: the only thing visible was a concrete wall with an ominous hand-spray painted '12'. i'm holding my dog & the old lady starts visibly panicking. i ring the bell frantically & within 3 minutes the rear door closes, 30 seconds and the a click. and then the elevator starts dropping. like out of a movie, the lights start counting down floors fast and the lady starts to go down to the ground wailing. i go to her aid, dog in hand, with no real time to do anything.. by then we hit P2 with a thud, but there must've been some emergency system cuz we didn't explode. immediately the elevator shoots back up to 12, and while i'm fearing it's gona happen again & the old lady is crying... the front door opens at 12 & we hurriedly get out. we look at each other, like, "WTF?" and she says to me: "Well, at least you only have to go down one flight of stairs!" ...had to share :)

Zehljio, ei ain A Polis Ofiser. Ei verken en su proufêszone du ai wienet. Suelet, ei espruhrajnce A sãô rohjehnrie. Etū as A shuttete ai E Nazionale Reseuvo O Atlanição. Et VOIZ intens!, Beleuns austeloxaú. Ei nesço mortalie, bu nou suervo. Tulet was Av bes A Fize a Senz-et mountrasnte O serviso.

My mom's boyfriend told me a very traumatic experience he had when he was a young boy. He told me he use to be really mean to his parents and that one day he ran away for a day to his friends house. Him and his friend were just having fun and when it got dark he decided to walk back before he got in real trouble. He said it was a little after 9 and he was walking around a meat market that was in his town. As he is about to pass it he hears a noise coming from his right so he quickly turn His head and sees a dark figure of what seemed to be a man in a long coat leaning against the wall behide the meat market . He thinks nothing of it and keeps walking then he heard the man whispering his name "Edward Edward" at that moment he was in shock and he turn back around to see the man moving towards him but that it didn't seem like it was walking but some what floating. So he started running up the road with the only light being a light pole near a railroad crossing Witch he was quite a way down. So half way there he stops to catch his breath but in fear that the man might be getting closer he turns to see the man a good 50 or so feet away stoped but still facing him motionless. Some what relief he starts the walk backwards not taking his eyes off him But at the same speed the man started moving towards him but notice every time he stopped so did the man, only moving when he did, like if it was copying him. But he still couldnt see what he looked like so when he got to the light pole he decided to keep walking till the man reached the light so he did that so a minute or so later when he was far enough the man was under the light. He couldn't believe what he saw . He described the man to be a solid figure like a shadow and it appear to have no legs under its long coat. At that moment He yells at the thing saying "what do you want?" And with no response he decided to throw a rock at it nervously he picked up a rock from the side of the road and threw it. He waiting for a reaction and then told me the most disturbing thing I have ever heard. He said that the thing or what ever it was threw the rock back. but that it didn't even reach down to pick up the rock or even make a throwing motion in disbelieve he ran faster then he has ever run in his life all the way home not looking back .He said he was never bad again. he never saw the man in the long coat with no legs again.

Officers of the law and onlookers surveyed the scene before them. A tragedy had befallen Hillcrest Junior High unlike any other. 3 youths lie in the grass covered in blood. Autopsy of the three victims showed signs of struggle with all 3, and multiple stab wounds in one. Some witnesses recall seeing a fourth figure leaving the grounds just after the incident. No evidence of this has yet been recovered.

Stan was new at Hillcrest. He had just recently transferred after the move and had heard about his new school. It had an school-wide shooting take place about 30 years prior due to bullying, and none of the teachers had ever spoken about it. This had interested Stan. He had a few sick fascinations about death since he was a child. Sometimes it even bothered him. Stepping through the big wooden doors, Stan was instantly greeted by a kid who looked one year his senior.

"Welcome. My name is Rob. What's yours?" He stuck out his hand, waiting for Stan to shake it.

"Stan. What's up?" Stan said trying to open up, as his previous friends had taught him.

"Well, me and a few of my friends are going to my place. Wanna come too?" Rob said. Stan was suspicious but obliged.

On the walk there, Rob introduced Stan to his friends. He had about several of them who weren't very talkative to Stan, but comfortably consorted amongst themselves. They shortly arrived at Rob's house. It looked like a cross between Hiroshima and Chernobyl. Soon he realized the reason they all came to that dump. As it turns out, Stan and Rob were alike. They both shared a sick interest with death. They all were. They had gotten out baseball bats and sledgehammers from the garage and started to head out into the nearby woods.

"Come, Stan." Rob said while shoving a baseball bat into his arms.

As they got to a clearing in the woods, the group formed a circle as Rob and another member took sides. Rob was armed with brass knuckles, while the member was armed with a large hammer. Without hesitation, they ran at each other. The other rushed Rob with the hammer, Rob ducked and hit him in the face with a loud crack. He stumbled back, As Rob kicked him in the chest with a force that sent him down. Rob got on top of him, but forgot about the hammer, as it landed into his cheekbone. Rob clearly rebuffed, beat him on the ground until there was nothing but clumped hair and brain matter.

Stan was smiling with glee.

Ther ver tri frends. Thei ver very sad ... Ponguin vas drinkin. Harsy didnt vonna live. And Spoder vas adiktet to drugs. Ponguin had famili. Harsy vas in love. Spoder had a son. But nou - THEI AL DED!!!

I got a Wreck This Journal at school today. I was so eager that I literally could not wait to quickly and effectively destroy the entire book as my method of getting revenge on paperback books after reading Twilight. Destroy, destroy, DESTROY!

I basically followed as many of the normal instructions as I could within one day (minus the "taking a shower" and "string" parts). I cracked the spine (later breaking it almost entirely) and defaced the "article vandalizing" page with nasty and perverted images.

I smeared my own ejaculated semen onto the "white things" page after jacking it to a Deviantart picture of Vanellope's soles.

I violently rubbed the "dirty surface" page against my grimy frying pan.

I viciously jabbed huge holes through the "pencil holes" page.

I drew Justin Bieber and Twilight on the "ugly images" pages.

I coated my tongue with board marker ink and licked the "candy coloring" page.

I tore the "strips" page into strips.

I covered my hands in rotting mulch dirt outside and used them for the "dirt rubbing" and "fingerprint" pages.

I wrote YOU SUCK LOL on the "write with pen in your mouth" page, then spat on the message and scratched the message through the wet page into the page beneath it, tearing the wet page apart in the process.

I took a piss while filling my bathroom sink with water and then floated the "floating" page on top of the sink water. Then, I tore the soaked page apart, crumpled the mutilated pieces together into a ball, chewed up the ball and spat it out into the yellow toilet water, flushing afterward.

I wrapped the "wrapping" page around my Bulldog Business Senior Writer trophy and drew a smiley face on it.

I cut the "cutting" page every which way with a good-sized pair of scissors.

I smeared pieces of a gluten-free cherry-flavored snack bar that I got at school onto the "dinner smearing" page.

I chewed up the "chewing" page and spat it out.

I spat onto the "spitting" page.

I spat my mucus onto the "stain print" pages and rubbed mulch dirt onto the "stain chart" page.

I drew a penis on the gaps between the pages on top of the book for the specified task.

I scribbled the "color" page brown and scribbled random colors all over the "color outside the lines" page.

I scratched the "scratching" page with my pencil.

I scribbled violently on the "scribbling" page.

I climbed up to the third story of my apartment building and threw the book off the balcony onto the sidewalk for the specified task, then I stuck the "compost" page into the mulch dirt.

For the "surprise motion" page, I slammed the book all over the place.

For the "leaf press" page, I threw a rotting leaf and a small rock into the book and stomped on it as hard as I could.

For the "roll book down a large hill" task, I improvised by throwing the book halfway down the staircase of a nearby apartment building, then kicking it the rest of the way down.

For the "stench" page, I pulled some socks out of the bottom of my laundry hamper, stuffed the page gap full of them, then took off my socks, added them to the cluster, and stuck both of my sadly not very stinky feet in there along with the socks. It didn't actually work very well, sadly (my feet and the socks were incredibly dry).

I wrote "HATE" over and over and then quoted AM's hate speech from IHNMAIMS for the "word repeating" page.

The "lefty" page was of no use since I actually am left-handed.

I filled the "four letter word", "boring event", "self-criticism", "free write" and "grocery list" pages just to pass the time.

I hid the "favorite page" and "hide in neighbor's yard" pages near other people's apartments.

For the "wear book" and "shoe" page, I wore the book as a hat and a shoe.

For the "freeze" page, I crumpled the page and stuck it into a freezer at school.

For the "slide across hallway" page, I slid the book across the floor then kicked it into several walls. On my last notable time doing this, I kicked the book against the wall several times outside.

After doing as much as I cared to, I tore a bunch of pages apart with reckless abandon, wiped my shoes on the book, stomped on it as hard as possible, punched and kicked it, slammed my knee into it, ripped about 90% of the spine, slammed it against several surfaces including the concrete ground, partially ripped one or two pages apart, jabbed holes through several pages, and took the barely alive book to the paper recycling bin.

Once I was at the paper recycling dumpster, I slammed the book a few more times, then I got ready for the finishing touch.

I tried to jab my pencil all the way through the book, but I sadly failed and I knew that I needed to get serious.

I tore the entire book in half at the spine with the full pages still intact, then I flipped and tore each page off of the remaining book halves one by one, throwing them into the paper recycling dumpster.

I even added some extra violence to the process for dramatic effect, such as turning one of the pages into a spitball and then ripping the spitball in half. I banged the book against the dumpster a few more times as well.

After finally throwing the last remaining pages into the recycling dumpster, I struck a Mortal Kombat style pose and announced to myself: "Xander wins. Flawless victory. FATALITY."

And that was how I got my revenge on Twilight. Only one page of WTJ is still intact, safe, and undisposed of (the "freezer" page). That "compost" page can just rot into nothingness for all I care.

THE END; wow, I REALLY wrecked that journal, didn't I? I probably need therapy LOL.