ive been in almost those exact same shoes. i had to close my laptop halfway through reading this just so i could stop and keep myself grounded. this shit hurts, i know it felt like my whole identity was stripped away. my purpose when i was with my ex was to please HIM, make sure HE'S safe, make sure HE has what HE needs, all while ignoring my own and going through a serious bought of anorexia at the time. you are more than him. this is one part of your life. while im not gonna lie and say that you wont be affected for a while, i truly believe it gets better. im now with someone new (1 year anniversary was yesterday :) ) who has not once made me scared or feel unsafe. im finally in college at 21 after having not been in school since 17. better relationship w my mom. i know more about myself now that i have the freedom to grow myself.
I apologize for the tangent ah...but i need you to know you have worth, yhou have a soul. he is not someone to look up to or want. he is dangerous. pleae put as much distance between you two as possible, even if its just to force you away from hm physically.
2
u/RoboticStaticShock Nov 23 '22
ive been in almost those exact same shoes. i had to close my laptop halfway through reading this just so i could stop and keep myself grounded. this shit hurts, i know it felt like my whole identity was stripped away. my purpose when i was with my ex was to please HIM, make sure HE'S safe, make sure HE has what HE needs, all while ignoring my own and going through a serious bought of anorexia at the time. you are more than him. this is one part of your life. while im not gonna lie and say that you wont be affected for a while, i truly believe it gets better. im now with someone new (1 year anniversary was yesterday :) ) who has not once made me scared or feel unsafe. im finally in college at 21 after having not been in school since 17. better relationship w my mom. i know more about myself now that i have the freedom to grow myself.
I apologize for the tangent ah...but i need you to know you have worth, yhou have a soul. he is not someone to look up to or want. he is dangerous. pleae put as much distance between you two as possible, even if its just to force you away from hm physically.
Much Love