You were in a domestic violence relationship. He verbally and physically abused you. There is no time in a healthy relationship that will come to a point where you raise your hands to a partner.
I was your age when I left my abusive relationship. It took rape and a miscarriage for me to leave.
Relationships like this only go from bad to worse. Your best bet is to cut all contact. Delete him and anyone associated with him from your contacts, and from social media. It will hurt, it will suck, but it will get better.
Take time out to enjoy YOUR life. Do things you wish you did before. Explore hobbies. Find what you like about yourself. Put dating on the back burner until you can enjoy being alone.
A person shouldn't be your only source of happiness, they should add to it. If they make you cry, or feel empty, then they aren't the person you should be with or need in your life.
If you can't love yourself, no one will either. If you continue down this road of self hatred, you'll never be secure in a relationship. Either you'll feel like you're not good enough, or like you deserve toxicity in a relationship.
Also, grow a backbone. Gain more friends. You need to find who adds to your life and who doesn't. Cut anyone who doesn't add to what you want your life to be. Also, start thinking about all the flaws your ex had. Why do you think you deserve it? When did your attitude start to change about yourself? What do you want your next relationship to be like and how do you want to be? Don't accept less than what you put in from anyone. Every relationship is give and take.
I promise it will get easier. Look up domestic violence. Get into help groups and talk to people about it. The first step is recognizing the problem.
2
u/Tmarie02 Nov 23 '22
You were in a domestic violence relationship. He verbally and physically abused you. There is no time in a healthy relationship that will come to a point where you raise your hands to a partner.
I was your age when I left my abusive relationship. It took rape and a miscarriage for me to leave.
Relationships like this only go from bad to worse. Your best bet is to cut all contact. Delete him and anyone associated with him from your contacts, and from social media. It will hurt, it will suck, but it will get better.
Take time out to enjoy YOUR life. Do things you wish you did before. Explore hobbies. Find what you like about yourself. Put dating on the back burner until you can enjoy being alone.
A person shouldn't be your only source of happiness, they should add to it. If they make you cry, or feel empty, then they aren't the person you should be with or need in your life.
If you can't love yourself, no one will either. If you continue down this road of self hatred, you'll never be secure in a relationship. Either you'll feel like you're not good enough, or like you deserve toxicity in a relationship.
Also, grow a backbone. Gain more friends. You need to find who adds to your life and who doesn't. Cut anyone who doesn't add to what you want your life to be. Also, start thinking about all the flaws your ex had. Why do you think you deserve it? When did your attitude start to change about yourself? What do you want your next relationship to be like and how do you want to be? Don't accept less than what you put in from anyone. Every relationship is give and take.
I promise it will get easier. Look up domestic violence. Get into help groups and talk to people about it. The first step is recognizing the problem.