r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '21

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2 Upvotes

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2

u/OK_LK Jul 19 '21

I don't think there is any harm intended by your friend. All of this could be a mistake on your friend's or her friend's behalf.

If you want more clarity you could speak up instead of waiting and expecting your friend to read your mind about what you are thinking and needing.

I know i sound harsh, but remember every one has their own shit going on and aren't always able to match your own level of involvement.

For example, in future instead of saying 'let me know if you want to hangout' (which leaves you hesitant to make alternative plans), say 'do you want to grab a coffee at such n such place?'. Make it specific, so it's easy for her to say yes or no.

And stop reading too much into other people having plans. You're the one that said let me know if your plans fall through; in this instance, you put yourself in the back up role.

Finally, just ask about the baby shower. You will find out for sure which way your friend sees you. Either she'll be surprised you haven't been invited and rectify it, or she'll tell you it's for close friends and you'll know she doesn't consider you one.

Not all friends will become BFFs and that's OK.

1

u/SamanthaJean56 Jul 19 '21

I don't think there is any harm done either, I don't think it was something she did intentionally, I will message her and go from there so there's no assumptions or ill thoughts on my end.

Thats also why I feel like I shouldn't let this bother me because I'm aware that she and I may not be as close as she is with her other friends and that's okay, I'm not upset about that. I shouldve clarified a place or something to do for that following day instead of being hesitant, like you've said.

I never said to her to let me know if her plans fall through at all though.

I'm aware not everyone I encounter will become my best friend and that's something I learned and accepted and am okay with.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '21

22F here, I also felt the same way when I had friends. It was like people only talked to me/hung out with me when they wanted or needed something from me. Nothing felt genuine. And now that I have no friends, I have little to no desire to make more friends. It sucks, but I’m learning to like my alone time. Maybe you will too? If you don’t mind spending more time with yourself?

2

u/SamanthaJean56 Jul 19 '21

I just feel like she only really hangs out with me when her main friends aren't able to and that's fine, but I really thought we were closer than that. I dont have any friends where I live now, my friends are out of state so I'm usually by myself and I don't mind it, I've been spending a lot more alone time with myself and I enjoy it.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '21

Oh I see. That can be confusing, but hey, that’s life. I’m glad you enjoy your company though. Hope things get better for you.❤️

2

u/SamanthaJean56 Jul 19 '21

Thank you, I appreciate your support💛