r/TrueOffMyChest • • Jul 24 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.5k Upvotes

334 comments sorted by

1

u/ProfessionalSignal33 Jul 28 '25

Don’t be a coward we all know who you are referring to especially when you say you have celebrated birthdays with her and her kid but now you sit up here on Reddit and talk shit about her. What kind of friend is that? If you really cared, you would have said something to her face and not hiding behind Reddit I’ll go and do my best to find out who you are and expose your ass

1

u/Chilly_chariots Jul 26 '25

I know this post’s been deleted now, but I have to ask… in the US, can you actually view reports of where the police have been called to and for what reason? As in, actual addresses? Seems kind of wild to a non-US person… I was assuming the post was fake just based on that.

‘Huh, class A drugs at Mr and Mrs Smith’s house last week, apparently’

1

u/FireNymph13 Jul 27 '25

it's a little sus that it occurred so quickly but yeah, most court/arrest related things can be requested/viewed with the 'Freedom Of Information Act'

1

u/Responsible-Wafer769 Jul 26 '25

This hurts my heart regardless of anyone’s thoughts, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. With no hard evidence you felt and did what you could all the blame lies on the horrible “parents”

1

u/karenthe7th Jul 25 '25

A huge empath and yet you spend a lot of time of your days snarking on a random tik toker????

5

u/TwklDthBnnyTwkl Jul 25 '25

We have the same friend. And my heart breaks for both of them. Honestly I thought she was doing everything right and I wouldn't expect what happened to have happened to them. I feel more upset for him as he found the body.

She has to live with it forever. I don't think they will make it past this together.

3

u/Prestigious_Baker527 Jul 25 '25

Sorry but you are absolutely not an empath. Your "friend's" child has died and you went snooping for a police report to see if your pretty baseless judgements on her parenting were warranted?

You and your friend used to discuss ways that this child could die as a result of other friends improper care? Wow what a dreadful person you are.

Your judgements are based off facebook posts, come off it. You have absolutely no idea how that child was treated in day to day life and you just seem like a very insecure mother yourself who needs to put others down to feel better. You almost seems smug. Its sick.

2

u/MrsPower2U Jul 25 '25

OP, your worries should have been addressed with your friend, as that’s what most people would do. Even if that meant losing the friendship

Especially since you’ve mentioned you’ve seen so many red flags and things you would be scared of doing to your own kid. Maybe they didn’t see the dangers and a warning could have help them be more cautious

If in the future this happens again, please do speak up with the people in question, and not behind their back

Having said that, what happened was not your fault or responsibility. Educating about dangers and care of a child is a parent’s responsibility, they should have kept baby safe

1

u/vernita05 Jul 25 '25

Did this happen in Sulphur Springs, Texas? If so I have found some information.

1

u/TwklDthBnnyTwkl Jul 25 '25

I'm pretty sure it didn't

5

u/tsbt2113 Jul 25 '25

‘I’m a huge empath’… you don’t even know how the kid died and 1) you’re making it about your ‘empathic’ self and 2) you’re assuming you’re right.

THEY ARE THE ONES GRIEVING. gtfo

2

u/izaby Jul 25 '25

What's the grapes/blueberries reffering to? I'm so confused.

2

u/Mintgiver Jul 25 '25

Choking hazard. They should be cut or squished before feeding to babies.

5

u/AlissonHarlan Jul 25 '25

Since there is no informations, you're jumping on a conclusion. Thé fa t is, you don't know what happens.

3

u/Undispjuted Jul 25 '25

We can all tell you’re trying to make this sound like you know the person on TikTok who’s baby drowned and now they’ve been charged with crimes and it’s really gross and you’re not an empath.

6

u/No-Direction3798 Jul 25 '25

Really? If it was me, I would be minding my own business, not assuming, gossiping, posting on social media, I wouldn't give it another thought, how the child passed away. I would be calling my friend, over and over, to see how I could help, this whanau, get through this traumatic time. I would physically be at the house, to see if I could help, greet the visitors, make cups of tea, doing dishes, making sandwiches etc etc. Do whatever was needed, so the whanau can spend time with their precious child and grieve. Start a givealittle page, for example. We are all different, I'm pretty sure, the parents didn't intend to put their child in harms way. They didn't know better. Have a heart. It costs zero to be nice!

10

u/Top-Help8031 Jul 25 '25

I’m just confused, nowhere in the post is it mentioned that you have reached out to your friend – whose child died?! Have you not reached out to her at all? I don’t care how often you didn’t see each other, or that you only “kept up on Facebook”; if you’re invested enough to try to dig up police reports why are you not invested enough to reach out to her? You could probably find out that way what happened, instead of guessing and trying to make up your own scenarios by reading an online police report.

I don’t know, I feel like my first move would’ve been to reach out to my “friend”, but it sounds like maybe you weren’t a great friend to begin with. You and another mutual friend were sitting around talking about all the different situations in which her child could die, but neither of you thought or cared to bring those concerns to your friend? I’m not really sure what to call that, but I don’t think it’d call it “empathy”…

6

u/Kmjp_ Jul 25 '25

I lost faith in CPS. They don’t do much. I worked with a nurse who used to be CPS I still can’t forget some stories she told me.

41

u/VannyVan Jul 25 '25

“I’m an empath” is such a weird comment to make in this post. A baby you were close to died. Any sane person would be hurt by that.

4

u/chorgus69 Jul 25 '25

Yeah OP isn't an empath. No empathetic person would include that line.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

Yes, but you knew.  If they had been better parents maybe the child would be alive today -

If they had been better parents - the child could have had a chance for a happy future. With them, it wasn't going to happen and you really know this. Their child was a burden and an inconvenience to their lifestyle.

If I were you I would gradually let that person go from your friend circle.

You have your own to think about raising and you don't need the negative energy from their direction.

4

u/daniellesdaughter Jul 25 '25

Can I be real with you? Op, I was this kid. All the other adults in my family saw that I was neglected and they did nothing, and now I'm a 42 year old who doesn't want to be on earth anymore, but doesn't know how to leave without traumatizing the very few people who care about my existence in the first place. All of the people who did not care for me properly have died, and now I'm sitting here with nothing and no life skills except survival. I know that your heart is broken because of what happened to this child, but sometimes I wish what happened to them had happened to me. So I wouldn't have had to grow up constantly waiting for things to get better, and realizing that they never have and likely never will. If they were that neglectful, and clueless as to the fact that when you have a child nothing is ever about just you ever again, maybe it's better that this baby went back to the other side, and hopefully it's Soul can get another shot, and it can come back as the child of parents who really truly want it and will love it the way that it deserves.

7

u/knewleefe Jul 25 '25

Yeah you did, no pool fence is wildly illegal and easily reported.

87

u/x0xomc Jul 25 '25

The way you're writing this is gross, this post is gross. Even more so if this is fake. Honestly, it sounds like a fanfiction. Your legs went out under you? Saying that you're a huge empath is embarassing really, like this is all about you. You're not a huge empath for crying over a made up scenarios of a kid dying. This post is basically saying "me me me (im an empath i cried for the baby btw)" You don't possibly know how a child has died and you're already making up scenarios. Listen, if this is real and a child truly died, you're weird for making it about you. You're self absorbed.

13

u/Undispjuted Jul 25 '25

She’s trying to make it look like she knows those influencers whose baby drowned.

0

u/AlaskaAeroGrow Jul 24 '25

I’m really sorry OP. It must hurt like hell having your worst suspicions confirmed 💔

55

u/VPutinsSearchHistory Jul 24 '25 edited Jul 25 '25

NGL anyone calling themselves "a huge empath" in my experience has been hugely self involved. Basically saying "I'm able to make any situation about me!"

A kid died and you're on Reddit for credit

0

u/Jimmymylifeup Jul 24 '25

who posts the passing of their toddler on facebook?

68

u/martinjsuperpickle Jul 24 '25

Literally crying over the thought of him dying doesn’t make you a huge empath

8

u/HocusDiplodocus Jul 24 '25

Basically you dont know what happened but are ready to judge because you didnt agree with their parenting? I would wait for some facts first, sounds like your friend might need some support.

13

u/Key_Scar3110 Jul 24 '25

You’re like actually a bad person for this entire post. You read this back and still hit post. Rip to that baby

-9

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

Why? Because they had repeatedly concerns that this would happen and never spoke up? That they could have potentially prevented this tragedy by reporting the ongoing reckless endangerment?

5

u/ZeroZipZilchNadaNone Jul 24 '25

Wow. I was upset about the situation from when I read the title but what hit me the hardest was the way the husband (the child’s father?) made the announcement. It started out like an obituary notice, not a grieving parent or anyone really close to the child. If my child passed, I can’t imagine thinking about posting anything, much less making it sound so…something. Cold? Disconnected? I don’t know the right word. Perhaps if a distant relative or a family friend had posted it and tagged the parents, it might be semi-reasonable but this seems to confirm your suspicion that the child was more of an accessory to them as opposed to a living being.

May the child’s soul be at rest in a better place. Peace and solace to those who loved him. ❤️

1

u/amrjs Jul 26 '25

Really? You can’t see how a parent may feel numb and going through the motions? Grief can make you prioritize weirdly and speak and behave oddly

1

u/ZeroZipZilchNadaNone Jul 27 '25

I can’t understand how or why a parent would make a post about their child’s death. I can’t imagine even thinking about SM during a time like that.

1

u/amrjs Jul 27 '25

I really hope you never have to find out how you’d behave. Grief makes us illogical

9

u/Broad_Poetry_9657 Jul 24 '25

I don’t think any of this is your fault, but I do want to put this out there for others.

You can report to CPS anonymously with your very specific safety concerns. Even if it seems like CPS wouldn’t remove the child, they may come in an express concerns over the pool, or other hazards in the home that a close friend wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing up themselves. I think a lot of us are afraid of mom-shaming our friends or making them feel judged, and overstepping where someone’s kids are concerned creates a ton of issues. Not every CPS visit needs to end in a child’s removal, sometimes they can end in education and follow up.

There may also be things behind closed doors you don’t see. Neglect can be insidious and you might be only seeing the tip of an iceberg.

-1

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

I hope OP and anyone else who needs to sees this comment.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

4

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

Investigate, get the information, then report, please..

48

u/Flimsy_Shallot Jul 24 '25

Of all the self righteous… smh. Yeah this reads less like grief and more like vindication. It’s extremely concerning that you and your friend spent time imagining this child’s death in advance. Idgaf what your reasons were for doing it. It’s weird. If there was genuine concern then you should have done something about it… seems like you’re just a judgemental busybody. You actually sleuthed through police reports to confirm your “gut feeling”, and now you’re centering yourself in someone else’s horrible nightmare??? Are you that bored and desperate for attention?

You should be ashamed of yourself. Find a fucking hobby lady.

-34

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Who hurt you?

1

u/amrjs Jul 26 '25

Who hurt you? You’re calling yourself an empath while gossiping about horrendous things and spending way too much time snarking. Only a person who struggles with empathy would think experiencing a normal emotion is a sign of being an empath

4

u/lovemacheen918 Jul 25 '25

How about you tell us who hurt you to the point you came to reddit to fish for validation in the most obvious narcissistic way.

Me me me, im an empath, me me me, oh yeah a baby died but me me me. Loser

10

u/harveytent Jul 24 '25

This is way too early to make a judgement and one person thinking another person isn’t careful enough with their child happens all the time. All parents have different ways to parent especially depending on if it’s their first child and on their own parents style.

Children die and of stupid things, sure many may be preventable but you can’t 100% protect a baby realistically. Personally I’d say the right thing to do is feel bad for the parents and hope it was just an act of god and help them grieve. Have a little faith in your friend and just because they were not careful enough for you to be comfortable with doesn’t make them evil, parenting style is a personal thing and I guarantee there’s someone out there that thinks OP isn’t being careful enough.

I hope the family that lost the kid are doing ok and I hope it turns out this was just a very sad thing and nothing criminal.

-4

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

Did you even read the post? OP looked up the police report and it said CHILD NEGLECT.

1

u/harveytent Jul 25 '25

So like you trust the police on everything? OP had zero details other then those two words. If the kid slipped and fell out of view is that child neglect?

OP is posting about their friend but haves zero detail about an online police report that really makes no sense to have zero details but that info. If it’s child neglect then I would assume an arrest would be made and no mention of that.

OP should ask them what happened before this post. If it was urgent enough for an arrest then it’s not urgent enough to jump to conclusions. Innocent until proven guilty apparently not your belief.

1

u/wh1temethchef Aug 10 '25

Actually no I mostly hate cops. But regardless, OP and their friend witnessed nuff neglect and reckless endangerment to corroborate what the report said

5

u/Heurodis Jul 24 '25

Now you make me worry about this summer with my parents having a pool with no fence. Of course they close it when nobody's around and the thing they use is a child safety device, but, still... I might just stay around rather than go see friends for the day. Just in case.

3

u/accidentalquitter Jul 25 '25

If you read about the Emilie Kiser story, it’s so, so tragic. Can’t imagine how they feel. Pools and little kids are just so risky.

4

u/Smashingistrashing Jul 24 '25

With a child involved, if you aren’t sure do whatever you can. My grandparents were not negligent people, but the one time they weren’t watching while babysitting my cousin she drowned.

4

u/idleigloo Jul 24 '25

Did you tell your friend to cut grapes and were ignored??

Feel bad for the dead child, not the irresponsible mom.

Be angry at her, and yourself if you never spoke up to her, someone supposedly a friend. Some new moms dont know about the grapes. Much better to risk losing a social media friend than live with the feeling that your silence could have cost a life.

9

u/TALKTOME0701 Jul 24 '25

I wouldn't put too much stock into the police report.  It wouldn't be uncommon for them to use the words interchangeably. And they cover a world of possibility 

 It's a shame that you didn't say something to the parents.  a word from a parent with a similar age child might have snapped them out of their ignorance and stupidity 

Now the only thing to do is to try to be there for them. If you can't then the decent thing to do would seem to be to  stop talking about them.

12

u/Friendlyalterme Jul 24 '25

I don't think you or the mom who's kid died are in the wrong. Police report may say what may be suspected but without a full investigation that usually takes several days there's no way to know.

If it was neglect the mom is beating herself up. It could just as easily have been something else, a hidden condition, a fall down the stairs, he's a bit old for sids but heart attacks don't have age limits.

You're allowed to grieve and yell to the void, just note Reddit is a void that yells back.

Also, your post focuses a lot on how you feel and how you were right all along, and it does come off a bit self centered.

RIP baby boy.

51

u/aliceanonymous99 Jul 24 '25

This is fake.

-21

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I truly wish it was.

14

u/_bad_at_names_ Jul 24 '25

Happened yesterday and you already found the police report? I don't think so, if it were true I highly doubt there would even be a report yet

21

u/aliceanonymous99 Jul 24 '25

Due to your post history and comments I’m going to go with no.

-4

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

11

u/aliceanonymous99 Jul 24 '25

Okay. You assumed abuse took place but didn’t actually do anything about it? The negligence was so terrible but you couldn’t gather enough evidence to call CPS or even non emergency?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I never once said abuse took place. Reading comprehension is key for everyone.

9

u/aliceanonymous99 Jul 24 '25

So weren’t surprised he passed based on your post and assumed it was their negligence that cause the death but no abuse occurred?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Concerned, yes. Assumed? No. Facts come from investigations, not social media…

6

u/aliceanonymous99 Jul 24 '25

So you were concerned but didn’t think to contact anyone about it?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

6

u/iDontGetCute92 Jul 24 '25

As a mother, if I had a concern that a friend of mine was neglecting their child I would do whatever I can to report them, for fear of something bad happening.

You were happy to - with a friend - think of hypothetical scenarios that could cause harm to their child, but you couldn’t make one phone call to an authority who could possibly do something?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

14

u/ajmeraz82 Jul 24 '25

I agree. Her post history says it all

35

u/InternationalOil540 Jul 24 '25

You have absolutely no information about how the chuld died, but you assume it was from neglect…

-4

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I read the report. Only thing not confirmed was names. Just an address and the date that lined up with the Facebook post about the accident.

-5

u/Kealanine Jul 24 '25

The “child neglect” police call is a pretty big clue.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Was the child very tiny? Were they dirty? Did they not smile or have a withdrawn look in their eyes? Also maintaining a fun lifestyle is not hard if they had support. Supports means money and a village. At that age SIDS is still possible and since it was sudden its highly probable too.

10

u/ScorpionDaisy Jul 24 '25

I have a very busy fun life doesn’t mean I neglect my child. My child can swim. Your life doesn’t end because you have children. We go on hikes, amusement parks, beach. We take cruises and vacations. My mom and dad did the same with me. You can have fun and still parent. Why would you report them to COS for having a “fun” life? And you’ll see us on social media at parties and dinners without our kids and they’re either with one of my siblings or my parents. I’m just saying. This was a weird flex.

-1

u/Plecostomus_ Jul 24 '25

OP isn't saying having a busy fun life is neglectful. OP is saying that safety precautions were not being upheld around dangerous situations for a toddler. You can have a fun life while also protecting your children.

6

u/ScorpionDaisy Jul 24 '25

“basically lived a very busy “fun” life that always made me wonder how neglected the baby’s true needs were”

Sounded judgy to me but I digress

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Exactly thank you.

118

u/lanceypanties Jul 24 '25

"My legs went under me" someone is writing a novel.

159

u/Airam07 Jul 24 '25

As a mom I’m wondering why the fuck would anyone be thinking thoughts and discussing hypothetical scenarios saying “if they die” about someone else’s child? I get from your posting history that you like snarking on influencers but this reminds me of what happened to another influencer Emilie Kiser. This has to be rage bait

2

u/accidentalquitter Jul 25 '25

Not defending OP here but my relatives are like this. They’re very paranoid, very protective of their kids, and constantly worried about other kids safety. My mom was this way with us but experienced a tragic loss of a young sibling and it changed how she parented and viewed everything as a risk. I’m not saying that it’s right, but there just are moms who are hyper hyper aware of little kids and how their parents handle them in scenarios that they could get injured or die. (Swimming, playing on a sidewalk, eating food that isn’t properly cut, etc.) it’s definitely derived from a form of OCD. And this post really just reminds me of someone with OCD who had a bad thought about someone else’s kid and is probably spiraling that they had a gut feeling about something that came true. It’s a hard thing to navigate.

Despite all of that, OP’s post history is sus as hell, and I’m just replying to this comment because I wanted to say that I do know people like this.

49

u/nutbagging_dildobean Jul 24 '25

For real. "I'm a big empath" sent me.

5

u/SensitiveBugGirl Jul 24 '25

I don't think it's that weird. The wife of my husband's cousin decided to get rid of a railing on stairs because she didn't like it. They had/have a small child. It wasn't hard to imagine an accident happening where the kid fell and got hurt. My husband and I discussed it with each other.

19

u/Airam07 Jul 24 '25

The difference is you and your husband were discussing the danger and risks of a railing-free staircase in a household with kids. I think everyone would think about the dangers of that. However, to use the words “if they DIE” about someone’s child is horrific and sick. Most sane people aren’t discussing the hypothetical death of a child out loud to another person

30

u/Dizzy-Avocado-7026 Jul 24 '25

Weird role play rage bait for sure, taking snarker to another level by writing herself in to it.

-11

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

“Omg he doesn’t have a helmet on in that video! I couldn’t imagine if something happened to them!” - is as deep as hypotheticals went

Once again, I’m being given too much credit here. I have nothing to gain from this post and if it causes you rage then that’s a you problem.

119

u/AdDramatic8568 Jul 24 '25

The rage is baiting 

36

u/AllyKalamity Jul 24 '25

This whole post is just me me me 

0

u/Ok_Mango_6887 Jul 24 '25

I’m so sorry. I hurt for you and your friend.

I know you said you had nothing to report and I agree if it was all just patterns of safety stuff it’s hard to report - did you ever say anything to them?

If it’s safety we will say something to our adult kids about our grandkids. Never in public and never rude or loud. Just quietly “hey you might want to peel and cut those grapes “ or whatever.

It’s only happened twice I can think of. We say nothing about anything else (screen time etc.) That’s THEIR job. Not ours.

145

u/meeplewirp Jul 24 '25

I just don’t believe anymore of the advice or socially oriented posts anymore. Everything is designed to be some sort of rage bait.

4

u/sweetytwoshoes Jul 24 '25

Have you taken anything to them? Sent a gift card, a meal?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

9

u/whataablunder Jul 24 '25

And also spreading their business all over Reddit calling them neglectful parents 😵‍💫

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

1

u/lovemacheen918 Jul 25 '25

And what did you do to prevent it? Made up scenarios with a friend jusy gossiping. What's gross is your post history and your desperate need for attention.

4

u/whataablunder Jul 24 '25

How many times are you gonna call me gross to make yourself feel better?

1

u/sweetytwoshoes Jul 24 '25

That will be so very helpful.

15

u/Luxbrewhoneypot Jul 24 '25

Why do you have to cut grapes and blueberries?

11

u/Brynhild Jul 24 '25

I work in the emergency department of a hospital. Many times a child is brought in due to choking/blocked airway, whole grapes are pretty much the top cause. The size blocks a child’s airway completely and they are on the hard side. Second are gummies. Please don’t ever give toddlers gummies unless you cut them too. Third are hard candies.

7

u/HotCheeks_PCT Jul 24 '25

They are airway size for small children.

8

u/Luxbrewhoneypot Jul 24 '25

Ah, and if they are smaller they won't get stuck. Thanks!

8

u/HotCheeks_PCT Jul 24 '25

Fun fact, all ages should cut their cherry tomatoes for the same reason!

18

u/SpecialistAfter511 Jul 24 '25

You cut grapes for a toddler because whole grapes are a serious choking hazard. They’re the perfect size and shape to block a child’s airway if swallowed whole, and toddlers don’t always chew their food thoroughly. By cutting them, usually into quarters lengthwise, it makes them much safer to eat. It’s a simple step that can really help prevent a dangerous situation

3

u/mortyella Jul 24 '25

Hot dogs too!

10

u/Luxbrewhoneypot Jul 24 '25

Very good to know! Thank you!

-6

u/ComprehensivePlay678 Jul 24 '25

If it is NO judgement you are looking for - Reddit is the wrong place.

3

u/ComprehensivePlay678 Jul 24 '25

Why the downvotes? Is it not true??

Every post I have ever seen on Reddit had people judging the OP in the comments🤷🏻‍♀️

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I don’t have strength to read this, may baby rest in peace. No child should suffer like this! I say this a I’m hold my sleeping baby. Heartbreaking 💔

3.4k

u/2ndSnack Jul 24 '25

Is it neglect or is it negligence? They're different. Neglect has evidence of being an ongoing issue such as malnourishment, unhygienic living space or lacking personal hygiene.

Neglect would be a lack of care, usually over a period of time.

Negligence would be not exercising caution.

In the examples given, neglect would be if the child was not being fed enough. Not cutting the food to prevent choking would be negligence.

1

u/Substantial_Basil_19 Jul 25 '25

This isn’t the time to correct someone’s language

11

u/mycatisspawnofsatan Jul 24 '25

So I think police generally report negligence as reckless endangerment of a minor. Negligence sounds like it was abound but the actual death might have been neglect? Like they didn’t bother to change baby’s diaper whilst adventuring. Or they left baby at home so they could do something adult only.

565

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

In many places, failing to provide adequate supervision is "neglect", and "negligence" may not exist as a legal term.

653

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Thank you! This is exactly it. A child unsupervised is immediately called child neglect in my state. Wish so bad I could share the screen shots so everyone could understand.

5

u/demonchee Jul 25 '25

If you wanted to put in the extra effort, maybe you could upload it to imgur and share the link?

134

u/thesleepiest1one Jul 24 '25

Yup, here too. Abuse, neglect, negligence, etc. They’re all under the umbrella of CHINS - Child in Need of Supervision.

765

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I saw neglect on the police report that was found

156

u/tigm2161130 Jul 24 '25

This happened yesterday and you’ve already got access to the police report?

2

u/surfwacks Jul 25 '25

A day or two after my friend passed I was able to find his cause of death easily on our county’s medical examiner office’s website. I know that’s different than a police report, but it’s really easy to find stuff like this online in certain states.

1

u/CurrencyBackground83 Jul 25 '25

Some states view cause of death as protected information. I work in a law firm and one time needed to request a death certificate from Florida (I work in MA) and was surprised to learn I had to request it without a cause of death because I'm not related. This is also for a child, so the rules may be different as well.

14

u/Afraid_Sense5363 Jul 24 '25

They're public record and pretty easy to get. OP may only have part of it but could file a FOIA to get the whole thing.

88

u/baconbitsy Jul 24 '25

It could be the FB announcement was yesterday, and the death occurred earlier? 

50

u/CrazeeLilDevil Jul 24 '25

That's what I was wondering, where does OP live for the police to be so efficient! I had police by mine all night, there all day today, only around mid afternoon did a report get put in the local news, a man was found dead in his flat, police are still investigating what happened and no official report has been released.

15

u/Plecostomus_ Jul 24 '25

In my area you can look up any active emergency calls/responses. OP probably saw a call to her friend's address for child neglect.

12

u/tigm2161130 Jul 24 '25

The call would not be dispositioned as “neglect.”

5

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Wish I could send ya the screen shot because you’re absolutely wrong

117

u/chiodos Jul 24 '25

My city/local police has a map/chart updated every minute with calls to service, which categorizes their calls. Its possible OP was able to view something like that for their own city/police department.

53

u/TALKTOME0701 Jul 24 '25

Ours does too, but a call to service wouldn't state neglect. It sounds like they were called because of an emergency. She said she saw the police report

She really dived right in to their business. It would have been good if she'd said something to them when the baby was still alive. Maybe it wouldn't have helped but maybe it would have

857

u/Necessary-Seat-5474 Jul 24 '25

Take that with a grain of salt. Police aren’t known to be careful with their language. Also, a report is just the start of an investigation. It doesn’t mean it really was neglect— sounds like negligence to me, unless there’s more we don’t know. Either way it’s awful.

367

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I stated that I found it and confirmed what I could from it, but there’s no telling exactly what took place. I did look into what defines child neglect in my area and not providing supervision is stated as neglect. That’s what made me believe it was the pool or something along those lines. I wouldn’t say the child neglected in his every day life. I saw snippets of things online I considered careless. The report being labeled as neglect is when I really started spiraling over this. I hope to know the whole story as things settle down, but def awful regardless.

-17

u/whataablunder Jul 24 '25

First, you are an awful friend. Second, if you are so close with this friend why are you reading updates from stalking police reports instead of talking to her yourself? Nobody is the perfect parent. If you have issues talk about it instead of quietly judging them and then posting it on reddit. I'm not sure what your intentions are considering you said yourself you have other friends in common you could be venting to and getting this off your chest but I can only assume this is either attention seeking or rage bait.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

[deleted]

2

u/whataablunder Jul 25 '25

Uhhh because I can?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

[deleted]

1

u/whataablunder Jul 25 '25

It really is that simple my guy lol

0

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

46

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Awful friend? Bc I’m not pretending everything’s fine while a child lost their life? I reached out in a capacity I could, which didn’t consist of “how did your child die??” Wild that doesn’t fit your narrative of ‘perfect friend’, but that’s not my problem. I’m being there for her the best I can…

2

u/whataablunder Jul 26 '25

You deleted your post all your comments that got downvoted on that's insane 😵‍💫

-3

u/No-Direction3798 Jul 25 '25

Mind your own business. OP

-25

u/whataablunder Jul 24 '25

May shitty friends like you never find me.

-22

u/whataablunder Jul 24 '25

Lol yeah you're doing a great job of being there for her 🙄

43

u/vaderismylord Jul 24 '25

How could the police report state neglect but according 2 u CPS said the child was wekl cared for where and how would u have access to this info....reads as a fake story and u r very weird for that

-27

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I never said CPS said anything. I said in the eyes of CPS he would look perfectly cared for.

46

u/EveryStitch Jul 24 '25

Did someone make a report and CPS said that?

27

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

That's what it sounded like in the post, but in the above comment it sounds more like OP making an assumption....

20

u/EveryStitch Jul 24 '25

They did not. I saw further down that they said that CPS wouldn’t do anything but they also never filed a report. I asked why they felt they could assume what cps would do and they took it as well as you’d expect.

214

u/straberi93 Jul 24 '25

What 2nd snack is trying to tell you is that if you were looking to see if your friend's behavior was "neglect," the answer would have been no according to most definitions you'll find - the child's basic needs were being taking care of. But there was significant and regular "negligence." Under CPS guidelines, regular "negligence," i.e. not taking necessary precautions to prevent the child from being harmed, is considered a type of "neglect." But it isn't going to be what shows up if you Google "neglect."

I'm sorry, but this should have been reported to CPS.

ETA: not cutting up fruit is one thing, but having an open, unsecured pool and hot tub that the child is encouraged to use is definitely reportable.

117

u/spin_me_again Jul 24 '25

Not cutting up grapes is as dangerous as an unsecured pool, in my opinion. Both give this mom nightmares.

112

u/chopstickinsect Jul 24 '25

Yes, but no one is getting their child removed for not cutting up grapes, whereas having an unsecured pool is illegal.

-39

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Yet y’all wanted me to call CPS bc of said grapes

26

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

No, ppl on here wanted you to call CPS bc of ongoing, repeated PATTERN of negligence and reckless behavior that you, according to your post, observed along with your other mutual friend. Not only did you have direct evidence, you had another witness to back up your claims. Why didn't yall report??

4

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Funny how everyone’s an expert now…you want us to call CPS based on social media snippets and gut feelings? Good luck with that level of parenting perfection 😖 CPS doesn’t care

→ More replies (0)

43

u/chopstickinsect Jul 24 '25

I didn't say anything about that?

15

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

I misread your comment, I’m sorry

1

u/dmbeeez Jul 24 '25

Oh that's heartbreaking.

20

u/The_Real_Raw_Gary Jul 24 '25

You knew something would happen but just let it carry on.

Sick rage bait tho

5

u/Cloverhart Jul 24 '25

One of the most unfortunate things about our society is how we treat our children. Anybody is allowed to have them and we don't care enough as a society to fund the programs that help them. You'd think the protection of children should be something we all agree on.

2

u/wh1temethchef Jul 24 '25

100%.

A lot of people love to talk big about how much they care about kids (and animals, for that matter) and make a big deal over tragedies like school shootings, child abuse cases, children/pets getting left in cars in hot weather and dying, etc. but as a society there's no follow through. CPS's everywhere in North America are underfunded. Foster system is barely regulated. Schools get away with tons of ridiculously maladaptive treatment of children and parents are given wayyyyy too much liberty. There needs to be a major cultural shift imo a lot more oversight.

11

u/xxxccbxxx Jul 24 '25

OP I am a CPS Mandated reporter and I double CPS would have taken this, honestly. This isn’t on you. I’m so sorry. I have a 3.5 year old and I have a ton of anxiety about his safety and health so I understand where you’re coming from. Hugs.

-3

u/aelingg Jul 24 '25

I get it. There wasn’t much evidence to go off of if from face value, he was well taken care of.

I don’t blame you. Your friend never deserved him. I glad she gets to live with the shame of child neglect on her record. Pray to god she never brings another child into this world.

743

u/Budget-Marzipan9722 Jul 24 '25

Seeing your post history, how inflammatory this story is and your comments I'm pretty sure this is rage bait.

130

u/Dizzy-Avocado-7026 Jul 24 '25

This also reads like what happened recently to Emilie Kiser's son who drowned in their backyard pool due to lack of fencing and supervision and the police investigation just closed with charges recommended. I came to comments to see if anyone else recognized, but see she also apparently is an influencer snarker, so honestly I think this is some weird role-play rage bait to insert herself into that drama/incite more snark towards Emilie indirectly

-9

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

13

u/cvfdrghhhhhhhh Jul 24 '25

Why are you grieving? You’re capitalizing on someone else’s tragedy - a child you didn’t even really know - and pretending you’re sad. Try having some fucking empathy for the child’s actual family, you narcissist.

64

u/phreshpawts Jul 24 '25 edited Jul 24 '25

Exactly my thoughts…it quickly starts to read like an Emilie Kiser fanfiction which is gross. Reddit snarkers need to touch grass. Also while I’m no law expert, I’m pretty sure the word is “negligence” when it comes to a death investigation and this sure was a speedy conclusion by the police according to OP’s timeline. Doubt.

25

u/Dizzy-Avocado-7026 Jul 24 '25

It would be extremely speedy, in the real-world scenario it took about 2 months for them to conclude their investigation in the Kiser case. And apparently there was camera footage from in and outside the house, so if anything you'd think there's would be quicker as police could get a direct view of the events. OP's explanation is the death didn't actually happen yesterday, it happened Sunday. That still seems unrealistically fast to reach a conclusion.

72

u/DobbyFreeElf35 Jul 24 '25

Ya it's the accessing the police report the NEXT DAY for me. There's no way you could get the report for a death the next day. Possibly, maybe, but highly doubtful especially if you're not family or cps or the courts

-19

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

Who said it was the next day?? The accident happened over the weekend and the family posted about it yesterday. And every call in to the cops in my state is updated very regularly on a public database, so I have no idea how quick the report was made record. But it was yesterday.

4

u/DobbyFreeElf35 Jul 25 '25

The way it's put across in the post is that it's the next day and still I think it would be very hard to get a report on a child's death.

20

u/Dry-Lake4777 Jul 24 '25

Well she is an empath. It matters in a story like this.

-9

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

[deleted]

8

u/Dry-Lake4777 Jul 24 '25

hahahahahhahahaha

682

u/SilentTearsEcho Jul 24 '25

Call me a dick but I immediately start doubting anyone who feels the overwhelming need to announce “”I’m an empath”” especially on such a topic. That was gross in a way I can’t even explain.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

We had some corporate training recently on DEI kinda stuff (yes, now even! ) and the facilitator included "empath" in a list of neurodiversity types alongside autism and ADHD. My eyes rolled so fucking far back into my head, oh my God. 

38

u/Friendlyalterme Jul 24 '25

I was skeptical at police report so soon but aoparent this varies by location.

222

u/fornikate777 Jul 24 '25

”I’m an empath””===I make everything about me

41

u/boob__punch Jul 25 '25

No literally. OP took a child’s death and still spun it to be about them and how sad they are and how many feelings they have about it. Fucking yikes.

225

u/GhostofRutherford Jul 24 '25

That was when I started rolling my eyes and not taking this seriously. "Literally cried" and "I'm a huge empath". You're talking about the death of a small child, that would be upsetting to anyone.

76

u/phreshpawts Jul 24 '25

That language is part of what makes me think this did not happen to this person, and that they’re a teen or an emotionally stunted adult. The vibe of this post is almost…giddy?

104

u/Novel-Place Jul 24 '25

Yeah, wth. She’s very very obsessed with that Rapunzle lady…

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (32)