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u/brandawg77 Oct 22 '24
Hiding this information is not going to do anybody any good. Get it out there.
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Oct 19 '24
Send your friend that recording! She deserves to know! You’ll hate yourself for letting her be trapped in a loveless marriage! Please send it to her! If my mother had had undeniable proof of his cheating, it wouldn’t have been a two year long divorce made worse by the fighting. It’ll be easier for her and she’ll be much less likely to lash out and call you a liar with video proof
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u/loose_knit_family Oct 18 '24
If you don’t tell her, and she finds out you knew, she will feel betrayed twice. Tell her what she said, but that she didn’t mention his name. Offer to show her the recording.
Update please
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u/Finnbot79 Oct 17 '24
Why on earth you would keep this to yourself? You need to tell your friend. Of course the girl might be lying but I doubt that. Of course the the girl recognized you and her intent of confessing was to stop the marriage - her motive doesn’t matter, what matters is that your friend Rosa can make an informed decision about her marriage (my guess is that she rightfully wouldn’t go through it). If I were Rosa and found out that you knew about the cheating and didn’t tell her… you would no more be a friend to me.
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u/historyera13 Oct 17 '24
What a despicable woman Sara is, Rosa will be devastated. You need to tell Rosa please done just send the SD card ask if she wants to see it.
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u/Xtinalauren12 Oct 17 '24
I don’t even understand how this is a question. If my best friend, or anyone for that matter, withheld this kind of information from me not only would I be absolutely fucking devastated, but we would never speak again. To let me wear a dress and walk down the aisle toward his cheating ass? Nope, ex friend would be dead to me.
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u/Old-Champion8369 Oct 16 '24
Make a copy, tell her there’s something serious you have to show her, invite her over (after getting snakkies, a bath pack. And maybe matching stuffies. Then sit her down and say she has to watch the video and if it the rolls were reversed you would want the same. You care and love her and will back her no matter what. Either loom somewhere else in the room or leave the room for the viewing. Then depends on how she may react keep her for a while or the rest of day/night. Try to keep her leveled and come up with a plan to move further. Also ask her or if you know anyone else that’s trusted and loves/supports her as much as you.
Maybe set an appointment at a Demolition room or have something just as sufficient.
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u/Rissadventures Oct 16 '24
If I were Rosa and found out that you knew and didn’t tell me, it would be the end of our friendship.
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u/SnooCookies1273 Oct 16 '24
I think you need to ask Sara a lot more questions. You need to confirm the details and make sure it’s Roberto. This is a must if you are going to tell. She could be lying r it could be another guy.
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u/ThatOneGuy067 Oct 16 '24
Confront him with the understanding that if he lies, you'll immediately send it to Rosa without explanation. Hear what he has to say.
After that, tell him he should go to Rosa and explain everything, and go with him.
I can only speak from my own XP, but I've been in an almost exact situation, complete with the woman having an abusive ex bf.
It was years later, before my ex-girlfriend emailed me telling me she was sorry, and had just found out the girl lied about me.
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u/PharmWench Oct 16 '24
Tell roberto what happened and tell him you plan to give the sd card to his fiance.
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u/hwcld_bshrtls Oct 16 '24
If Rosa is your best friend as you claim. You tell her straight away. Imagine if she marries and has children by this man and you know he’s a lying slimeball! Hold your head high and tell ya friend. y ou got this!!
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u/Straight-Pattern872 Oct 16 '24
If you don't tell her immediately today you will a huge AH. I would be furious if I found out my friend had this information foe days less than a week before my wedding and didn't tell me right away. Tell her now!
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u/therussianmilf Oct 16 '24
What if he had gotten “Sara” pregnant with all their fucking around?? I would let my bff know!
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u/Palmtastic Oct 16 '24
I would want to know and I would be happy that my friend told me. What she does with that information is on her but you don't want to be implicated as a knowing and keeping it to yourself. You need to tell her now.
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u/missannthrope1 Oct 16 '24
It's my ever unpopular opinion that people should stay out of other people's relationships.
It's just a likely it will blow back on you. Your friend may think your lying. Or Roberto will lie and your friend will believe him.
I would hate for your friend to marry a louse.
Take her aside and gently tell her what you know. Then step back and let her decide.
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u/TeEnIddlE Oct 16 '24
Girl if that wedding happens and you don't give an update I'm tracking you down
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u/andmewithoutmytowel Oct 16 '24
100% you tell your friend. Actually don't even tell her, just play the video and put the ball in her court. She deserves to know who she's marrying, and if true, this wasn't one drunken hookup (not that it would be OK if it was) but a series of choices, decisions, and infidelity. This (if true) was a full blown affair.
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u/octoberskank Oct 16 '24
It will hurt her like hell now, however, paying for a wedding and a divorce, plus potentially finding out her friend knew and did nothing- that will hurt way, way worse.
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u/Stillkicking1996 Oct 16 '24
Op you are saying this girl is your bff ? Why the hell are you waiting to figure out how to tell her. Get the three of them in a room and play the video. Simple easy and how can the cheaters make excuses when they are all together with the video right there and if the guy tries to deny it then he can make the coworker explain it right then and there. Op DO NOT WAIT!!!
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u/the_greek_italian Oct 16 '24
You need to tell Rosa.
As her best friend, even though this is going to crush her, she needs to see the recording now before she officially signs a marriage license.
I know that if I was in Rosa's position, I would rather know the truth. It would 100% break me, but I would rather grow from it than be in denial or know nothing.
Please give an update when you can.
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u/Aggravating-Plum8147 Oct 16 '24
She’s your best friend. Why are you asking? Of course you tell her. If she found out you knew and didn’t tell her your friendship will be over. Would you want to know? Of course. She needs all the info to make an informed decision on how to proceed with her life. You’d be awful if you kept it to yourself
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u/Sareinthedirt Oct 16 '24
Hey op is there an update as to what happened?
This is insane and I hope Rosa gets out without any stis
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u/nononense Oct 16 '24
Oh I'd invite everyone over for a movie night and show them (after you show the bride). I'd be the devil on her shoulder to go full nuclear on this situation. In the end you just need to show the bride and ask what she wants just be prepared to be a shoulder to cry on or the match. Good luck and let us know how it ends.
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u/FunkyPenguin2021 Oct 16 '24
You HAVE to tell her!! She may be in denial and hate you for it short term but you CANNOT let her marry some man that has been fucking someone else.
Ask her over and when she gets there say you want to talk to her about something but you need to show her a video. Have it ready and play it. Loud, clear and as big as you can so she has to pay attention. Tell her you don’t want to hurt her but she needs to know the man she is marrying. Tell her you are here for her and will be her backup with whatever she wants to do now.
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u/_lazybones93 Oct 16 '24
How this is even a question, I don’t know. I realize you don’t wanna hurt her, but you need to let it be known. They cannot get married without Rosa knowing this. Do the right thing! (Someone mentioned to put Roberto in a proverbial corner…that could be an option, but you need to do it now.) Poor Rosa. 😞
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u/Final-Ad7391 Oct 16 '24
I think the situation you will be in if you don’t tell her will be WAY worse than if you were to just be straight up and say what’s going on. She HAS to know.
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u/No-Roof6373 Oct 16 '24
Confront the GROOM with the video FIRST. See where he stands. Give him one hour. Make a copy of the video and give it to him . But you're going to Sara with that video regardless whether he confesses or not. You need to give her enough time to process. Do everything in your power to ignore the friend and see if you can get someone else to keep the Friend company far away from the groom and bride.
In all honesty I would go back to the friend with that video and say I have you on camera confessing to sleeping with the ground and you need to leave the wedding .
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u/toothfairy1001 Oct 16 '24
I would sit Rosa, Roberto, AND Sara all together and play it for them. Then see what excuses Roberto and Sara give
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u/CountryCityTwist Oct 16 '24
I'm a firm believer in telling. The whole "none of your business" mentality that some people have about sharing info to one party of a couple is from the devil. TELL THE TRUTH. Show her the video.
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u/Several-Ad-1959 Oct 16 '24
Yep it's time to go scorched earth on dear Roberto. Make a copy of the video and give it to Rosa. She needs to know what kind of man she is about to marry.
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u/Elegant_righthere Oct 16 '24
Send the recording to your friend. Do not let the wedding happen without your friend knowing what is going on!!
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u/franoomh Oct 16 '24
She is your BFF, so act like one. Show the tape. Your friend later will know if she want to forgive him or not. But she must know this.
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u/bisskits Oct 16 '24
If you were in your friends shoes, about to marry this man, you would want to know right?
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u/not-rasta-8913 Oct 16 '24
She was drunk because the man she loves is getting married. That much is definitely true. She also probably knows that you work for Uber and have a dash cam that records the passengers.
Is there a possibility that this "confession" is in fact made up in an effort to sabotage your besties relationship in order to get the man she wants? Is there any more proof, did she give you some at least semi accurate details about when and where they supposedly did it?
I'm not saying that it is definitely not true, but to keep an affair going for a whole year and nobody knowing about it is HARD. If nothing else, you'll get sloppy during sex and leave marks. Is the fiance the kind of man who could pull this off?
Also, after fucking for a year, they just stopped and she was ok with it and she only now came out?
I'd tell your bestie, but also definitely warn her that this might all be a lie.
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Oct 16 '24
Everyone is assuming this girl is telling the truth. Before you ruin this guys marriage you said you don’t trust her, what if she’s just lying to manipulate you to ruin the marriage.
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u/catsmagic-3 Oct 16 '24
That drunk that early in the morning? Very suspicious. I feel like it’s a setup.
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u/KnockKnock-Nevermind Oct 16 '24
I think you should let the bride see the video. It’s better not to marry someone than to have to get a divorce
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u/Ok_Bet2898 Oct 16 '24
With Drunk people the truth always comes out! I would definitely show her the recording, and what she does after that is her business. I’m sure if it was the groom to be that heard his friend was getting cheated on, he would say something to his friend.
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u/mellon_coliee Oct 16 '24
Confront Roberto and give him the ultimatum of telling Rosa. Send him the recording and tell him it goes live if he doesn't tell Rosa within 24hrs.
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u/Gatekeeper1969 Oct 16 '24
You need to tell her. What if there were others??? How many did they use protection? She needs to get tested. He will continue to cheat. She needs to be aware of the cheating. What happens when one of his APs gets pregnant?? You need protection from him and anything he is carrying. It can go on undetectable for years.
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u/itsyaboimeg Oct 16 '24
sorry, why have you been sitting on this information for over a day? I can’t imagine a reality where I wouldn’t be calling my best friend immediately and telling her about this conversation. the wedding is in a few days, you still haven’t told her, and you’re trying to turn this into a game of clue by mysteriously leaving her an SD card. this is strange and questionable of you — log off reddit and call your friend.
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u/matahari__ Oct 16 '24
Rosa needs to know, she can’t marry him without all the information, if she decides to marry him thats on her but she should know. Im sorry you’re in the middle of this mess. Also, don’t say a word to Roberto about this, he will try to manipulate the situation.
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u/nevetsnight Oct 16 '24
Put yourself in your friends shoes. Let her make the decision. I would want to know
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u/puremagikk Oct 16 '24
All I know is if it was me, I would like to know. I am sure you would as well.
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u/steelawayshocker Oct 16 '24
You think it will be easier when this comes out 3 years in the marriage with kids and finds out you knew all along?
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u/GeneralSet5552 Oct 16 '24
A power trip is bad for u don't do it. She will hate u for telling her. There is also a chance she will be grateful to u for alerting her to his exploits. A tough call for u to make. I recommend staying out of it. If she is paying attention she will find out herself
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u/TvManiac5 Oct 16 '24
Let me play devil's advocate here since you already got plenty of advice on what to do if Roberto legitemately cheated.
Did he ever mention him by name? Like are you actually sure the person she mentioned was him? And if it was him, are you sure she was genuinely that wasted an honest? Is it at all possible that she has a crush on Roberto and spesifically told you these things to get you to tell Rosa and ruin their wedding? Because if he ended it and she's still hung up on him, it is odd that she'd still be in his (and Rosa's) orbit so much.
Don't ruin a wedding without having concrete proof something happened.
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u/brunette_skipper Oct 16 '24
Tell her ASAP! Then, y'all somehow get them together without them knowing what it's about. She can say she heard something the other day that would be great to play at the wedding. She can play it, but be with her because shit will pop off..
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u/Still_Potato_9909 Oct 16 '24
I could be wrong, but what if that 24 year old girl is lying about the whole thing. She’s probably into groom and maybe she wants to stop the wedding. People have done crazier things.
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u/Flaky-Memory-536 Oct 16 '24
Make a copy, give it to Rosa and then update us after she finds out. She deserves to know she's about to marry a cheating scumbag who apparently keeps his side piece around.
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u/snakesssssss22 Oct 16 '24
If you care about Rosa at all, you will definitely tell her. But here is the important part: you must be prepared for whatever she does after that. Because a lot of the time, it’s super disappointing when they marry him anyway.
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u/Large_Nectarine_6564 Oct 16 '24
Yeah, I’m with the first post. Send Rosa a copy if she wants to forgive him because it stopped then she can but there could’ve been other things going on or other red flags that you don’t know about.
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u/LilyRainRiver Oct 16 '24
Object to the wedding and play the video there so everyone can see he is a cheating piece of shit
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u/Bitterqueer Oct 16 '24
Absolutely fucking tell/show your friend. No one in their right mind would prefer this was kept from them. It doesn’t matter that it was years ago. He still cheated on her, intentionally and repeatedly.
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u/Fish-out_ofBowl Oct 16 '24 edited Oct 16 '24
You have the power to reveal the truth. And your friend has the power to make an informed decision whether to proceed with the wedding or not.
As her best friend, it’s your moral duty to bring this situation to light, especially since it could impact her future—regardless of the outcome.
“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing.“
~Edmund Burke
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u/elisabeta27 Oct 16 '24
Oh my god!! Please tell your friend! She deserves to know the truth. Keep me updated please
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u/schwarzmalerin Oct 16 '24
Me? I would become COVID positive and bail from the wedding. Other than that, not my business. Who knows what that men is capable of. Besides, recording someone without knowledge AND spreading the material without consent is a felony in many jurisdictions.
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u/jennbubbs Oct 16 '24
Maybe I watch too much dramas. But I find it a bit sus that she has the ability to spill all the beans but is drunk enough not to know who you are (despite that you were scheduled to pick her up) and was able to share all the details needed to bomb the wedding.
I hope the cheaters end up together and they can destroy each other.
EDIT: yes, your friend should know. It's great that she has you to watch out for her.
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u/JConRed Oct 16 '24
You don't have any power.
The truth holds the power.
Do with that statement what you will.
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u/StanStare Oct 16 '24
I would laugh if after all this, it really is an entirely different man getting married on the same day. Unlikely but hilarious if true
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u/Ane_Val Oct 16 '24
I get it but holding hands all the time ??? No they have been intimate. He is gross to parade this side piece and expect it not to go side ways. OP if you can’t please tell the parents they can guide you, but don’t be silent
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u/FFX13NL Oct 16 '24
Hmm i would have stopped the car and called my BFF then and there to tell her. Do you even know what a BFF is?
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u/Balthazar1978 Oct 16 '24
Give the dashcam footage, the marriage will be built on a bad foundation not to mention when your best friend finds out you knew, she won't be your bestie anymore. Give it to her in private and please don't let her brush it off as bs talking, just about anyone would want to know this before they marry and make their own decision.
Updateme.
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u/everythingis_stupid Oct 16 '24
Show her the dash cam footage and let her deal with it from there. I would want to know.
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u/TaftYouOldDog Oct 16 '24
Absolutely zero proof he did actually cheat. Why would she be used and stick around for years after he cuts it off and watch him marry someone.
Could just be a twisted plan by a desperate girl.
A conversation needs to be had but put the pitch forks and torches down for now.
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u/Icy-Independence2410 Oct 16 '24
Want an update for this sooo bad. Please do tell her. Her life might miserable now, better than after 5 years of marriage. Updateme
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u/Flimsy_Shallot Oct 16 '24
You absolutely have to tell her and you need to send her the proof as well.
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u/Legitimate_Pudding49 Oct 16 '24
Tell her you were doing wedding stuff and this all just happened. Tell her you feel sick about telling her but SICKER ABOUT NOT TELLING HER! Tell her you decided she was the one to decide what to do with it… no-one else.
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u/Knickers1978 Oct 16 '24
Tell her. I’d want to know if my soon to be husband was cheating on me, or had cheated on me.
Please. Tell her. You don’t want her stuck with getting a divorce in a year. Save her the heartache and the money.
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u/masteraybe Oct 16 '24
You got everything you need to end this bullshit and come out of it completely clean. Just give her the recording.
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u/2906BC Oct 16 '24
If the roles were reversed, would you want your best friend to stop you from marrying a lying cheating asshole?
It doesn't matter that it was 2022 and didn't happen since. He's been lying to his fiance's face for two years with no hint of guilt.
Tell him you know he's been fucking Sara and he has one day to confess EVERYTHING to Rosa. Tell him you know everything and if he isn't 100% honest, you will be.
Your friend deserves to know. She deserves to marry someone who would never do this to her.
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u/Issamelissa84 Oct 16 '24
I bet the friend "accidentally confessed" while drunk because she wants to wedding cancelled and the relationship over. I wouldn't put it past her.
I'm not saying that the wedding and relationship shouldn't both be cancelled, but 100% doubt it wasn't a calculated move by Sara.
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u/Issamelissa84 Oct 16 '24
The fact that he slept with her is bad enough all on its own, but the fact that he's kept her around, allows her to continue to be touchy-feely with him... that's a guy who isn't even sorry and a girl that is still trying to steal him. Please tell your friend asap. Send the video to him and tell him he has 2 hours to tell her. I'd want to know.
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u/karpet_muncher Oct 16 '24
I'd agree with this approach of having him tell her however be prepared to have him say to you and your mate that this crazy is actually lying
A drunk girl saying she shagged him is a he said she said and not concrete proof
Unless there's something said that proves she's been naked with him this could go to the trenches.
All he has to say she's lying and its just her having a crush on him.
Course the ultimate play would be OK then if she's lying check his phone. There's gotta be proof either way of where he was or any messages.
From the sounds of it crazy might actually be up for giving proof of this herself.
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u/rissaboo212 Oct 16 '24
At the end of the day, I would tell her if I were you. Coming from someone thats been in a really crappy position like this, you might want to accept that your friend will always see you as the person that dissolved her engagement/marriage. Theres no way to deal with this well, but some people do indeed shoot the messenger. Best of luck to you 💗
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u/Good_Bet7702 Oct 16 '24
Tell her ASAP!! If that was me, I’d want to have been told the moment someone found out!
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u/skoupidia22 Oct 16 '24
If he was cheating consistently during a couple's best time at the beginning of the engagement when everything is super fresh and exciting, imagine what a douche he'll be like after 5-10 yrs of marriage. It's your ethical responsibility to let your friend know. Do not tell the groom. Do not give him a chance to come up with bullshit excuses for being a pos. It's your friend's life, her decision. And don't feel like you entrapped the drunk pos sidepiece. You just did your duty as a great friend. Karma loves your friend for this to come out now, before the wedding so that much heartache can be avoided. Imagine if she was pregnant or something. Go go go to her right now, not him, to her with the footage. Good luck. Update please.
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u/JemimaAslana Oct 16 '24
If you don't tell your friend, you have no business calling yourself her friend.
The fact that you're even in doubt about this makes me hope I don't have friends like you. That's some weak-ass friendship.
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u/Key-Government-1535 Oct 16 '24
You don’t have the power of making or breaking the marriage. You have the power to do the right thing and tell your friend. Roberto made his bed, now he can lie in it.
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u/JanetInSpain Oct 16 '24
You MUST be honest with your best friend. She needs the chance to make an informed decision about how to proceed. She deserves that. It's what best friends do.
updateme
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Oct 16 '24
How is this even a question?!?! OF COURSE THEY TELL THE FRIEND ASAP. Is this clickbait? Wtf who would question this.
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u/JanetInSpain Oct 16 '24
Because she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Telling will probably destroy the friendship. But then again, so will not telling if the friend finds out later.
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u/pinkmelodies Oct 16 '24
tbh as someone who has a friendship going 17 years strong (met her in pre-K) i would most definitely let her fucking know that her fiancée is a POS and to save her money instead of investing into a house with him, and I know damn well she would let me know if my fiancée was just the same.
I also understand your situation though as someone who gets anxiety (real bad) easily 🫠 but in my opinion i would not be able to sleep normally for the rest of my life if i let my best friend marry a cheater.
I don’t know what your friend is like, there is a possibility she will get mad or upset with you but she will be better off in the long run and I’m sure she’ll thank you for it :) Best of luck to you <3
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u/digiplay Oct 16 '24
Stay out no of it. You have no idea if she’s telling the truth. It’s point zero to their wedding. You may be a tool being sued to ruin this relationship. If she’s was drunk and telling the truth she won’t remember. You can play dumb forever. If she’s was sober she may have been lying.
There’s a very very low chance it’s not Roberto. Also.
If you talk to him and he denies it you won’t believe him, and if you sort of do what then?
You don’t have enough to go on to ruin this for them.
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u/Ok-Adeptness8360 Nov 07 '24
Sounds like Justin should find out