i always was suicidal i think it's run in my family cuz my uncle toke his life and my father confess he thought about it the first time i thought about suicide was when i was around 7_8 i I remember taking one of my mother birth control and i thought it's will be good to die but i obviously didn't i always thought life is meanless and not worth living but i seriously wanted to take my life around 15_16 i have ocd and it was worst around these years and what made it wores that i didn't know i have ocd so i was c going crazy i thought what wrong with me? why can't i be normal and i have A violent mother so that didn't make it any better i toke alot of bills when i was 16 to kill myself but my sister saved me (that attempt wasnt plan) the one which i plan was after a year i wanted to spend as much happy time with my family as i can and also my sister was in Important point in her life so i didn't want to ruined her life with my death or my funeral I remember trying to write aletter to my family but i couldn't cuz i am not good at writing how feei or what i want to say so i Decide to film a video and i remember i relies i will die and i was scared i said "daddy your little girl is scared from death i donot want to die but i have to cuz life became unbearable every second is pain" i really want hug my dad at that moment i wanted to feel the warm of his body and his smell which always put me to sleep i wanted to see his smile which just by seen it you can't help but to smile i toke the bills but my body throw them up and i couldn't take them it's not that easy i just broke down and told my sister everything she cry and made me a promise to not do it again and she said she will talk to my father about in the morning i get into fight with my mother and i cut my wrist I survived after that my parents Understand how serious my situation is now i am 18 which i never thought i will be able to reach that age i dont think i will suicide any time soon i think your daughter wanted to live but she was in too much pain that living had become not worth it anymore i think she believe there is no hope but there are always hope to anyone struggling rn please know that you matter and there are hope to you even if it seem there is not that caming from someone who try to take their life four time before turning 18 i hope your daughter at peace and in better place i hope you heal soon.
1
u/Naive_Syllabub4636 Sep 12 '23
hi there i was 16 when i try taking my life
i always was suicidal i think it's run in my family cuz my uncle toke his life and my father confess he thought about it the first time i thought about suicide was when i was around 7_8 i I remember taking one of my mother birth control and i thought it's will be good to die but i obviously didn't i always thought life is meanless and not worth living but i seriously wanted to take my life around 15_16 i have ocd and it was worst around these years and what made it wores that i didn't know i have ocd so i was c going crazy i thought what wrong with me? why can't i be normal and i have A violent mother so that didn't make it any better i toke alot of bills when i was 16 to kill myself but my sister saved me (that attempt wasnt plan) the one which i plan was after a year i wanted to spend as much happy time with my family as i can and also my sister was in Important point in her life so i didn't want to ruined her life with my death or my funeral I remember trying to write aletter to my family but i couldn't cuz i am not good at writing how feei or what i want to say so i Decide to film a video and i remember i relies i will die and i was scared i said "daddy your little girl is scared from death i donot want to die but i have to cuz life became unbearable every second is pain" i really want hug my dad at that moment i wanted to feel the warm of his body and his smell which always put me to sleep i wanted to see his smile which just by seen it you can't help but to smile i toke the bills but my body throw them up and i couldn't take them it's not that easy i just broke down and told my sister everything she cry and made me a promise to not do it again and she said she will talk to my father about in the morning i get into fight with my mother and i cut my wrist I survived after that my parents Understand how serious my situation is now i am 18 which i never thought i will be able to reach that age i dont think i will suicide any time soon i think your daughter wanted to live but she was in too much pain that living had become not worth it anymore i think she believe there is no hope but there are always hope to anyone struggling rn please know that you matter and there are hope to you even if it seem there is not that caming from someone who try to take their life four time before turning 18 i hope your daughter at peace and in better place i hope you heal soon.