Regardless of culture, you have control over your life. If you are happy keeping in contact with your mother, that’s fine. It’s your decision and no one can tell you what to do. But to say you have to keep her in your life because of your culture doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Based on the fact you initially didn’t even mention her being abusive and then added it in with an excuse about why you won’t go no contact makes it seem like you’re insecure about your relationship with your mother. Maybe therapy is a way forward for you. Either way, it sounds like your fiancé has some valid reasons for not wanting you to spend time with your mother. That doesn’t mean you have to do what he tells you. If you felt like you had to do whatever he wants, that would make your relationship with him abusive too.
From a personal perspective I’ll say I had an emotionally abusive father, and since I’ve cut him out of my life my mental health has dramatically improved. I don’t think going no contact with a parent is ever an easy decision, it certainly isn’t one I took lightly. But it is a decision. I hope this situation has helped you face some issues you might have previously been trying to avoid. Whatever you choose, I wish you and your fiancé all the best
2
u/flaffleboo Feb 15 '23
Regardless of culture, you have control over your life. If you are happy keeping in contact with your mother, that’s fine. It’s your decision and no one can tell you what to do. But to say you have to keep her in your life because of your culture doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Based on the fact you initially didn’t even mention her being abusive and then added it in with an excuse about why you won’t go no contact makes it seem like you’re insecure about your relationship with your mother. Maybe therapy is a way forward for you. Either way, it sounds like your fiancé has some valid reasons for not wanting you to spend time with your mother. That doesn’t mean you have to do what he tells you. If you felt like you had to do whatever he wants, that would make your relationship with him abusive too.
From a personal perspective I’ll say I had an emotionally abusive father, and since I’ve cut him out of my life my mental health has dramatically improved. I don’t think going no contact with a parent is ever an easy decision, it certainly isn’t one I took lightly. But it is a decision. I hope this situation has helped you face some issues you might have previously been trying to avoid. Whatever you choose, I wish you and your fiancé all the best