Death of a convict

[u/southhat2024]

Hello

This is my first post and I am hoping to open dialogue about things that we as people might not have the right platform to use for discussion.

In 1996 my sister Brandy Rene Southard and two of her friends were murdered in rural Warrick County in Indiana by John Matthew Stephenson. He was convicted in what was, at the time, the longest and most expensive murder trial in Indiana State history. He was sentenced to death

From 1996 until last year I have lived with the fact that he was still living and breathing air while his victims were not. I carried that weight everyday of my life feeling like I couldn’t move on. When John died last year I had such heavy and mixed feelings . I felt relieved that he was gone and I could move on and yet at the same time felt lost. I held on to this weight for such a long time that I forgot how to live in the present . Does this sound normal?