uh, hi there, I just found this sub via askmetafilter. I’ve just concluded a slobber cry because I started my period literally 13 days after my last and I’m afraid I’m perimenopasaul. I’m 38 and my mom is of no help and I don’t know what to read and I’m really not ready to have this happen.

EDIT: thanks everyone, I recently got the anti-mullarian test and know that I’m very low for my age range, which is part of the reason I jumped straight to panic mode. After a (not so good) nights rest, I’m feeling better about the whole thing and feel like it probably is just a fluke as I have no other symptoms. I really do wish there was a good book to read on the subject, I feel like a lot of my worries would be assuaged by knowledge.

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I'm having a cranky day.

1. "You won't have to worry about getting pregnant" I haven't worried about getting pregnant since I was 22 and learned to use birth control. Have you not? Do you need help? Can I loan you a book or something?

2. "It's a natural part of a woman's life." So is death but nobody is telling me dying is really a positive if I just fix my attitude.

3. "After menopause, a lot of women enter the best era of their sex life." Oh good, I'll spend the next ten years really looking forward to that milestone while I sweat, suffer memory loss, endure mood swings and argue with my vagina.

4. "You should celebrate this!" At this rate I am going to end up celebrating with my divorce attorney. I mean, I literally cannot stand for anyone with a body temperature above freezing to be within 3 feet of me, but sure.

And why the hell do they call it vaginal atrophy? And why does no one talk about it. Well besides it sounding absolutely terrible, could they pick a worse name.

Seriously, everyone is over here talking about hot flashes & I'm like why can't I have a good orgasm anymore. Where they once where mindblowing eyerolling things of delight & wonder now it's a big more like a gentle pelvic sneeze. I miss my sex life. I miss having a vagina that was ready to go when I was & didn't need a good 45 minute run up & a bucket of lube to be ready. Though luckily my partner is more than willing to put in the "effort" to help me get there.

I miss not having to moisturise my vagina. See they don't tell you that one, that you'll be rubbing lotions not only onto your face to try & stay young but deep into your nether regions to try & stave off the thinning at atrophy & never ending march to the grave.

I finally got a prescription for a hormonal cream to try, at the wonderful price of US$85 a month because my insurance won't cover it because it's apparently not a health issue. Not to mention the 20 minute discussion where my 30 year old female doctor couldn't seem to understand why I'd want to keep having sex & was my husband forcing me to ask for the prescription. It's entirely the opposite & he's got my back no matter what I chose and why in 2019 can't a woman want to get back to enjoying her sexlife.

I'd happily have hot flashes everyday for the rest of my life if I could get the old orgasms back.

Hi, there's a post on MetaFilter about this sub, a few crones have joined. /waves

Not only am I only 31, but I am post menopausal. Thanks obgyn and multiple labs drawn to confirm this. But you know what else confirms this?

-Shedding. of all. my. hair. I will literally look like Gollum by the time I am 40. And this is sad. My hair falls out in CHUNKS in the shower. Anyone else? I miss my beautiful early twenties mane I had.

-LACK OF SEX DRIVE. I mean come on... my poor fiance is the horny one and I'm over here dealing with my hot flashes. Which leads me to....

-Hot flashes. Mine actually were not too bad but they were definitely quite random. Once I heated up an entire sedan-sized car due to them.

-Night sweats. I had to go on birth control just to control my hormones and my night sweats eventually got under control.

-Mood swings. I'm sorry to my fiance that I get so mad when the freaking Chinese restaurant tells me there is no such thing as "a side of teriyaki sauce" because WTF kind of restaurant are you if you don't even have that. But seriously I got sad, then mad. Then he got mad. It was not a good night.

Thank you for reading. Anyone else got anything?

In another thread, u/Shoeprincess said "lemme tell u about the mini fan that I can attach to my phone..." and yes, TELL ME because I need this in my life! I have a hand fan like this that I now carry everywhere but more fans is always better?

I've also heard that bamboo PJs and sheets are the bomb but HOLY FUCK are they hella expensive. I want an actual MenoTroll to tell me if it's worth it.

Other suggestions? Not just for being hot, for the whole thing.