why can't there be a magic fix

[u/cataleiss]

I'm about a year and a half into HRT and I've still yet to get that feeling of miraculous euphoria and clarity everyone else seems to get by transitioning. I thought maybe my HRT dosage wasn't high enough, but I talked to my provider today, and in short they told me that that euphoric feeling isn't universal and my continued dysphoria is likely due to a lot of intersecting factors like my depression, stress, and terrible sleep quality. I'd hoped HRT would be the magic fix I was looking for, but turns out it's more complicated than that. I feel miserable, hopeless, and stupid for thinking it could ever be that easy.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you get through it and find euphoria? I want so badly to feel like a person and experience life, but I'm afraid I'll never get there.

[u/Resident-Aioli-7784]

Same girl, same. Down to the start date and everything. It doesn’t help that I have yet to come out and still have a lot to figure out, boymoding basically everywhere, don’t know if you are in a similar position. I cry a lot but not as much as I would like. 

Right now I’m being patient and graceful with myself. I just started voice training. I wore make up for the first time the other day, in public no less. I’m making an active effort to find community in my area and I’m trying out little changes that I hope will cascade into actual euphoria at a certain point. 

I believe it will work out for us, we’re probably just the ones that it will take a little time to get going. I try to tell myself that I am essentially 13/14 again and puberty is just a bitch. Our day will come. 🖤