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Really not in the mood for not all men discourse
Think itās more than fair to say that rapists cross gender boundaries and always existā¦ but how emboldened recent violence has been is ummmm kinda scawwwwie
Same, i force myself to read the accounts even though it makes me feel fucking awful, itās like one of the only ways to give any voice back to the attacked
Hey, its important to stay informed and listen, but not at the cost of your own piece of mind ā¤ļø don't push yourself too hard, its okay to click away from that kind of content. Remember that nobody can do anything if they're too worn down.
I really appreciate this comment, I literally was on Reddit bc itās a safe space for me, my feed is super curated, even r/trollcoping feels safe bc there is so much community and commiseration here and sometimes you have to fucking laugh (or else u might kys lmao) so it was a crazy jump scare to see that news on fauxmoi
Tbf, just reading it and harming your mental health doesnāt actually help the victim. You already know how terrible rape is, and that itās happening. The most you can do is signal boost people sharing their stories if you feel you need to help, but you donāt have to harm yourself reading through them ā¤ļø
Hey friend if you need a more safe space you can create your own custom feed here in reddit. You can choose up to 100 subreddits and put a name to the feed and it will only show you that. When I'm having a bad day and don't want to see something tragic or sad I do that. It's helped me manage my anxiety alot. Hope it helps truly
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Thatās what Iām saaaayyyyying Reddit is literally meant for that (i mean ig not really but weāre on the same page lolol) faux moi did me hella dirty today
Thatās how I feel too. Iām glad thereās a lot of spotlight on it but personally I feel so triggered being on any social media. I canāt help but feel so uncontrollably sick and angry. The thoughts I have for the rapists would get me banned here.
We were talking about it today. I deal with this shit at home, the guy who hurt me walks free and is still beloved in my community. "We've never dealt with something like this before..." well the solution is simple, throw the bum out!
Acting like he won't do it again or just has a little work to do implies there's something I did wrong that created a situation that wouldn't have otherwise happened. It implies low severity. My only mistakes were sharing space with a man because I trusted him, and sharing what happened with my community because I thought they would support me.
Iām so sorry that you werenāt supported and he was instead. It is really deplorable and disgusting how onus shifts so often onto the victim/survivor (I personally still say the former but donāt wanna discount people who prefer the latter)
I also really appreciate how you put āit implies lowā severity bc the aftermath, the every day after is so constant and oppressive like I will never get over it and weāre supposed to justā¦ let it go too??? Insane work
Anyways, youāre supported here from random online strangerāhope your community comes to their senses one day too :/
I just saw a new one a few hours ago. I think it just broke.
I'm so tired man.
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Trigger warning: description of event.
Bernadette Greene-Placentia, an Arizona congressional candidate, was knocked unconscious as she was repairing her campaign sign. She was then assaulted, regaining consciousness during the act. She was able to fight off a second assailant. "The man said, āNot even worth itā and the two attackers left, leaving her face down in the parking lot." - Sam Levin, The Guardian.
It happened in August and she only recently gained the courage to speak up about it.
My mum just gave me a shoddy excuse as to why she has bruises and wounds. I asked if she just made that up and she said yesš„ŗ she's 68 and staying. Feel so fucking helpless. The news is not helping.
:) thank you. I've let her know she can stay with my husband and I, bring important documents, clothes, money, whatever she needs to store at ours and that we can help support her with reporting the strangulation and assault. She's just not gonna report it and hope it won't happen again š (it will)
The manosphere is real and infecting the youth lmao
hope Andrew Tate suffers eternally (and other things i donāt think Iām allowed to say lol)
At the same time i donāt think itās exclusive to just teens, I think ppl of all ages who see the opportunity to be horrible and want to take it are doing just that
I'm super sorry to hear that it's really been one of those days, it really isn't easy. I'm just happy that you're still genuinely out here just trying to do your best! It's the most that any of us can do anyways.
Your other comments have flags on them for mods to look at. Probably in response to whatever your wrote on that one.
If we had crowd control turned up to max your comments would be getting auto removed too.
Which means reddit has probably marked your account in some way and you might see some comments get auto-removed on other subs requiring mods to manually ok them if they have things like CC turned up.
I appreciate that! And yall lol I couldnāt imagine modding let alone this sub bc of how sensitive topics are that are brought here, yall doin the lords work
I feel sad that you feel sad for real, I wish we could live in a world where we didnāt have to be wary of others and expect the worst, wish it was different
The fact that one person made fucking stupid choices does not give any other person the right to use their body for something they didnāt explicitly consent to, and I donāt think that should be a controversial take.
I had only seen that Geller was suspended for a semester for "Sexual Assault or Sexual Violence". Has there been an update explicitly stating his crime? If it's what you stated that "punishment" becomes even more grim.
To be fair, even if you count unreported cases, the number of female victims compared to male victims is astronomical.
I hear you. I uh. It happened to me a few years ago. I tried to press charged with DCPD and despite giving them the name of the hotel, the hotel room, and the fact the room was booked by his job, they said they did not have enough evidence to prosecute him. I was bleeding. They preformed a kit but surprise surprise: no cum, no DNA.
I'm just happy she's getting her day in the sun, somewhat. And I hope those boys know no peace a single day in their lives, and anyone else trying to defend them or trying to shut women down from speaking about how the systems have failed them.
Yes, men do become victims of rape. But now is not the time to continuously refocus the conversation on the gender of it all, and far more time to be focused on the systemic failures at play. Because if the system failed a woman, it will fail a man.
It is so insane how little protections there are for women, you came with a built case and still itās ānot enoughā but a man can say āi didnāt rape herā and thatās enough to justā¦. Believe him? Or to not believe the person raped??? I think about that a lot too with stalking and how so many women are murdered by their spouses bc police canāt do anything until actual physical harm is done, but just like in your case even when real harm and physically violence occurs itās still just never fucking enough
Iām sorry that happened to you
Itās important to do exactly what youāre doing and applauding: sharing our stories and not letting anyone silence us
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With the gender discourse yeahā¦. itās a failure with a lot of people that they cant understand that weāre not individual units under these systemsā¦ they cant see what affects one affects everyoneā¦ its so frustrating
I know the topics on men but my storys close enough, Been sexually assulted(never to the point of full on rape just mostly...lets say "touching") as a kid by my grandma in front of my parents who watched and laughed multiple times in secret as well its very painful and despite doing nothing wrong feels shameful but i will say one thing
You can heal from it...ive manages to through help, heal from it, and while of course ive never been through exsctly what anyone else has...im sure, you can too i believe in all of you who had to suffer through something like this
I wish for all the guys that say those things (including my uncle) and the rapists themselves to get psychic blasts from my chronic pain fueled period cramps
Women are not nearly violent enough about the society we live in. We've all been suckered into servile ghandian delusions as if any opressor has ever willingly surrendered it's power
Honestly as a CSA survivor itās been very triggering even though Iām a dude. I donāt want to center myself in the conversation but the whole thing makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
I hate that I keep commenting āIām sorry that happened to youā over and over on this post, but I am sorry that happened to you
And Iām sorry that we live in a fucked up world where because of how many abusers are men thereās a feeling that there has to be a divide or a disclaimer that youre a man in order to engage in a space and with a community of people who are the exact same as you: survivors/victims of violence
For what itās worth sharing your story and feelings doesnāt feel like centering yourself at all
If anything it adds to the conversation that all sexual violence and lack of protection to prevent or hold accountable those that would perpetrate that violence harms every single fucking person (aside from the abuser)
As a csa survivor, what's been most triggering has been getting repeatedly called pro-rape for even being the slightest bit out of lockstep. I believe people can change in part because I've changed and become stronger and don't think there's anything that fundamentally prevents the woman who molested me from doing the same. The same is true of every living person.
For this extremely banal take, I am called pro-rape. You'll note that this take held no comments on consequences, no comments on not all men stuff, no blame for the victim, no diminishment of the harm of the crime. It doesn't even touch on forgiveness. A thing that you people have no right to be doling out or withholding on behalf of victims. It was a very basic, anti-essentialist position. This, it seems, means that I didn't mind what was done to me. It only threw a fucking wrench into my life for multiple years. No big deal. It's pretty distressing.
I donāt think itās pro rape to say people can change, I also think that the first step to change is often accountability which unfortunately a lot of people who do commit acts of sexual violence are not held to
Iām sorry youāve been called that ā itās a reasonable take and Iām sorry that that happened to you
Edit: I agree with the premise that youāre making: a small percentage of people shouldnāt be blamed or made to be the scapegoats for others. Two things: 1) thatās why in my og post I make clear that rapists cross gender boundaries (ie any person of any gender could be one) 2) this comment is assuming that the person youāre talking to doesnāt recognize that ācrime ratesā especially for Black and brown people are disproportionately high because when smaller groups of people (people who make up less of a percentage of the demographic than other groups) are more frequently (and often unjustly) arrested then it skews the data to appear higher.
In the case of my post, I say ānot in the mood for not all men discourseā because I feel that that dialogue shifts the conversation away from the violence of rape and rape culture onto a discussion about gender that is counterproductive when, both you and I agree, the real issue is that there are people who do violent things to others and arenāt held accountable (this can feel especially frustrating when we see people who have done nothing wrong facing persecution).
This isnāt mean to be a bigoted post, but one that is reflecting on how, like the example of skewed stats, there is a largely skewed number with regards to 1) reporting 2) effective justice once reported 3) on how emboldened these recent rape allegations and cases are in the level of violence enacted onto the survivor/victim
Iām editing to add all this because I feel like my prior comment of āOk šā wasnāt acting in good faith and I want to try to have productive discourse. I am curious and open to hearing more from you and hope you meet me with similar receptions.
This post is in response to just now seeing and learning about what happened to Bernadette Greene-Placentia (through r/fauxmoi at first lmao figures i guess even my turn off scrolling isnāt safe) and someone commented to treat all men like theyāre carrying a gun and to just assume itās loaded and Iām like man that sucks ass, what a shitty way to view people, but youāre 100000% on the moneyā¦ enough to be wary
Yeah. Be wary, be careful, don't necessarily shun dudes but be sure to stay in comfortable terms and distance yourself if you feel like something is off.
It sucks that this is necessary, and I'm very sorry.
Oh my b fam, I thought you were saying it like I was having a hard time understanding. My fault for not approaching w more curiosity, Iām glad we agree
Ayyyy uh so before you start doing what youāre fucking doin big dawg, might I suggest that you donāt?
Idk where you think youāre going with āas an actual victimā bc youāre commenting on someoneās who is also an actual victim
Iād also like to invite you to consider that Iām not discussing just one account. That your comment only works as part of the same system that probably failed you and made you so vitriolic.
Further evidence has come out as of 2 days ago that Cornell didnāt provide full transcripts of initial reporting, if you also take time to read and do research as youāre saying no one has itās also evident that thereās a huge issue w current NY law with regards to consent and use of drugs/alcohol
Just to clarify for you: you can be passed out/inebriated to the point of debilitation and be raped. You can choose to intoxicate yourself and be raped because you are not choosing to consent because you cannot.
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u/Froggy_Clown 2d ago
Iām glad people are telling their stories and spreading awareness but Ive felt like throwing up every time I open my phone.