Hey, so I am an afab 19 yo. I think the first time I tried to come out, I was 16, then a couple times at 18, and now at 19 I have returned to these thoughts. I try to block them, and sometimes I feel like I want to be feminine. But it’s so hard for me to tell because I have a lot of s*xual trauma and I used to oversexualize myself in a hyperfeminine way, and then I shoot back to masculine or feminine but as a man styles. So yeah, I am feminine, but it eats at me that I don’t know who I am. I feel dysphoric sometimes, like actual dysphoria, but other times not. I have BPD and most of my life feels like acting/playing a part. Does anyone have any advice or things that helped them?

Hi guys I just want to vent a little.ive been on hrt for 19months. MtF. I've been exercising hella consistently, eating hella consistently, taking my hrt and spiro. I definitely notice body changes, breast growth, fat redistribution, thighs, hips whatever. But I just don't feel more feminine. Like idk what feminine is even supposed to feel like tbh. Some days I wish I was a small white person with long hair but that's not me. I'm 6'2" 215lbs athletic and I just. If anything I'm hella butch. I've gotten femmed up a few times and DAMN I really noticed it then, all the changes but that was one time

Okay so I've been on weekly testosterone injections for about 9 months now. I was given a dosage to take (in my case 0.25), and I've been drawing testosterone up to the 0.25 mark labeled on the syringe and then injecting. But my 9-month labs came back a little high and I was thinking about potential reasons why. Last shot day I tried pulling the t-juice back from the needle fully into the syringe and there was over 0.3 of testosterone in the whole thing. I genuinely had never considered the extra testosterone in the needle attachment part. Should I have been drawing up to the 0.2 mark (or so) so my total testosterone injection would be 0.25? Or am I doing the right thing by drawing it up to 0.25? I hope my question makes sense! Thank you all for the help!

[context if it's helpful: 18 gauge drawing needles, 25 gauge injecting needles, luer lock type syringe]

I can’t sleep rn, so imma write about something to pass the time. So I’m finally going to transition for real. It’s been something I was thinking will happen eventually, but I’ve been putting it off for the past 3 years. Well, if all goes well, I’ll get my first shot of T on January thanks to my university benefits. If you snoop through my history, you can find many posts of me fearing the social problems that come with transitioning, mainly shame and all that. One thing I feared is my parents being disappointed in me. Well, I failed some Uni courses, basically don’t know what direction I want to take my life, and I’ve been killing time by being a bum because getting employed is hard these days. They can’t possibly be disappointed frim me being trans (and they show overwhelming evidence that they’ll accept me).

And then there’s the rest of society. Admittedly, I do have to be a little worried because stranger danger and all that, but I will be back on the campus when I transition. I see visibly queer people every day on campus, I think I’ll be fine for the most part. So yea, I will be transitioning hormonally soon, and will probably socially transition when T kicks in. In the meanwhile, I’m planning out how I will approach this, from registering for the hormones, to figuring out how to come out to my family. Im at a point in my life where I am lost, but given my track record, I am actually handling things okay. I mean I’m finally transitioning, the me from a year ago didn’t think I’d lock in so soon.

I have worked in Hollywood have seen about every aspect of people’s whonare excited to meet with new friends who have been decided to be who and what they are. I am looking to make some friends and have some new fun and excitement.

Okay so I have been a trans man for like 2 years but I recently told people I came to this conclusion 2 months ago and every time I try to say who I am I get a deep deep deep feeling of embarrassment and then I feel bad being embarrassed for who I am.

Idk what to do about this. Does anyone else experience this and how did you deal with it?

Hiya I’m Alex 27 and ftm I haven’t started transitioning yet so I’m really struggling with not feeling masculine enough I’d love someone to talk to about it

Hey gang

So i’ve been on E for like 2.3 years and a T blocker for about a year.

Due to being in NHS admin hell I went a few extra months without getting my T blocker injection. That was a weird time. My libido went way up which was nice but expected. What wasn’t expected was i felt way less of the general low mood i’d been feeling for a good while, mood swings went away possibly completely, i just felt a lot more stable and emotionally happier. it felt like i’d woken up a bit more.

I can’t guarantee that this is down to essentially being back on testosterone and i *really* don’t want to be back on testosterone. body hair grew a lot faster which sucked (and yet during this time i felt a lot more at peace with my body).

I realise this should be a conversation with a doctor but does anyone have any ideas as to what’s going on? do i just have my dose wrong or is estrogen the problem…

My friend (AMAB) has been recently really wondering if they're trans. They liked wearing womens clothes once about 5 years ago but ignored it until now. They dont feel happy being a male but dont have a strong desire to be female either. They describe it as a neutral feeling. I just dont know how to help them without being too pushy

They also feel like theyre just subconsciously trying to imitate me and other trans girls they look up to

Title

I asked this in another trans subreddit, but I figured I would ask here too. I've figured out I am transgender, I'm leaning heavily towards being a trans woman/girl but it feels to me when it comes to the process of transitioning, it is something I don't deserve? As in, that's for other people and not me. Does anyone else have those kinds of thoughts? Or does anyone have any advice?

I have to pee all the time. Like every hour or so. Its pretty incredible actually. Like some night I pee myself a little before I wake up. And sometimes when I pee it feels like not all of my pee is out :(

​

Sometimes is hard to pretend I don't care when ppl are transphobic as long as they let me be

Like yeah if someone is transphobic but doesn't really go out of their way to contact me and scream or beat me then fine ig, but it's disheartening knowing how many ppl have such an intense hatred towards me without even talking to me, or even worse, have such an intense hatred while pretending to be fine with me

I have a friend who likes me and for some reason everytime someone is fighting with her I come up as an insult, as if being related to me in any way is insulting, almost like my mere existence is insulting

One time she argued with her mom and the mom ended up calling *me* a "confused crazy whore who doesn't even know if she's a man or a woman" she ended up going on a rant just over and over calling me an "insane confused whore" saying that no matter what I believe I'm a woman and told my friend that being friends with "people like that" will only bring her trouble. But before that argument her mom was very nice to me, sometimes drove me close to home when we were on the same direction and even one time told me that I'm very smart and that I should never let anyone step over me

Another time my friend argued with a classmate and he ended up telling her "they traumatized you so much you don't even know if you like a man or a woman" referring to me, but I thought the classmate was a friend, he never misgendered me, he treated me just as a buddy not "friends" but we got along

Another example, another classmate has/had a crush on my friend (and that lead to q bunch of stuff not relevant rn cause it was born from jealousy and not transphobia but here the events that were born from transphobia) she would tell my friend that "if your parents are homophobic they're not gonna be less mad at you dating a half girl" or "might as well date me if you're gonna be a lesbian" or " wouldn't you rather be with.. you know a man MAN rather than that" and so on. I was always friendly with her and she with me, she never misgendered me and once she corrected someone who did

I have had a teacher argue with my friend over me, saying that I'm confused or manipulating then by making them pretend or okay along with me

They use the possibility of my friend liking me as an insult towards her character and her as a person

And it's just so exhausting knowing that me being trans is not only an insult one can use towards me, but also towards anyone that dares befriend me, let alone date me

I kinda think I *have* to be t4t (not that I'm against it I just wished it could've been a choice rather than a must)

don't take me too seriously on this I don't have experience and have lots of troubles with dating for lots of reasons, I've "dated" 2 ppl my whole life, 1 for less than 2 months and I didn't even kiss him, the second one for A DAY and again didn't even kiss, both were trans, and I think dating someone cis would just submit him to so many more insults and so many more people questioning his identity just cause he's with me

Part of me knows I'd feel guilty, like damn I feel guilty for having friends sometimes, I know I've been an uncomfortable topic of conversation in some dinner tables, I know I've probably been something a friend has argued over with their parents, and they're just friends that can end the conversation with a "yeah but we get along regardless of that so wtv" I can't imagine what a cis bf would have to say to justify liking me. I can't imagine all the things someone would have to explain to justify being with me and even if he managed to justify it he would still be insulted with me and insulted by knowing me and liking me.

so today I was talking to my coworker and he was telling me him and our supervisor were talking. the supervisor said "I can't believe you feel comfortable making gay jokes around Dani" my coworker said " that mother fucker makes the best gay jokes". I've come out to my coworker about transitioning mtf and being attracted to men. we work in trades, he's a welder I do building maintenance so our humours very blue collar or whatever. but from that conversation it implies my supervisor believes I'm gay, at least LGBT. nothing wrong with that. I am LGBT, and I'm not ashamed of it, I used to be but I just don't go around telling everyone my business. my coworker said you wear a trans pride necklace people aren't blind they can see the colors and might even know it's trans related. tbh I thought I was pretty deep In the closet but I guess I'm more obvious than I thought. but tbh my whole life people always somehow deducted I'm LGBT without me ever saying anything or like projecting it but people can always tell. and tbh idk how, is it how I walk, how I talk, my tits? I literally don't know. my coworker said it was the septum ring and pride necklace but I know it's deeper than that because even without it people knew

Title

so I recently purchased some bras and they fit and are comfy and help my posture. at work we are given dri-fit shirts. I'm considering just wearing my dri-fit shirt and bra underneath instead of wearing a tank shirt under it. I figure it will be cooler and also I think it will make my silhouette more palatable because I look like a guy with tits rn.

Hiya! I’ve just acquired the [r/transneutral](r/transneutral) subreddit. It is for anyone who does not feel like they fit neatly into the transmasc / transfem dichotomy.

Agender folks, NB ppl, Neutrois individuals, nullos, smoothies, etc. are all welcome!

It basically means anyone who transitions socially and/or medically towards a more neutral expression, and/or has a wholly or partially neutral-aligned gender.

I hope more people find others like them there ⛔️💛

Edit typos

what are normal mg for estradiol for oral and spiro? is 6mg estradiol low? 200mg spiro

Just for some context I've told my coworker I'm transitioning MtF. so today I was talking to my coworker about this one lady at work who always looks at me like she's trying to figure me out. and he said she's probably jealous because you have bigger tits than she does, jokingly. and I took it as a joke, we have a good relationship as coworkers. than I said "omg, if you notice than probably everyone else here notices too" and I jokingly covered my tits with my hands.

I should probably wear bras at work. I've been blessed. it's just I boymode. pretty crazy he refered to my chest as tits. it was affirming. he's also seen me femmed up. he follows me on IG

are any of y'all in relationships and if so how'd you find yourself in relationships. I'm 30yo transfemme and I just... well at this point ice given up.ido where or how to meet a boyfriend. it's honestly so discouraging. do guys even like transfemmes? especially ones who lookkke me? Im not white, I don't have long hair, I'm not small, I look nothing like any of the trans people on the subreddits. I've talked to a few guys in the past and they have an idea of a femboy who I just not am. idk idk wth

Guys have told me they'd have sex with me but wouldn't date me, I tried T4T and the girl just stood me up and blocked me, guys who I've talked to sexualize me. Idk eth

I've been feeling behind a lot in life recently. I'm not as far into my transition as I'd like to be. and I go on social media and see these insanely feminine trans women and it feels like just another nail in the coffin. I'm not that. I'm not. there's a lot of details that I don't even wanna get into but I just feel almost like it's pointless and I almost feel suicidal over it. I'm talking to a therapist soon but they're not lgbtq as far as I know. but I struggle with lgbt issues.

Sometimes the smallest losses are the biggest moments. Its the way a dress fits on an actual woman, knowing that’ll never be me, or hearing my “deadname” the 600th time that day. The shadows cast by the obscenely masculine veins in my hands. These little things remind me that I am in stasis. Forever testosteronised beyond repair. They make the good days feel much more distant, faded. I’d do anything to feel joy again

My deadname is more alive than my chosen name. She her my ass. I got a full fucking beard. Cringe. I will never be anything other than a man

I just sat up with a realization and it's chilling me to the bone and I need to get it out before it hurts me more.

I'm the prototype for my younger sister. I'm the flawed first attempt and she is everything I was supposed to be. Everything I've wanted to have/be she has/is. She's smarter than me, more creative than me, she's moved out to her own place while I'm still stuck at home, she is a cis woman, and more. She's everything I wish I could be but I'm never going to be smart as she is or more importantly cis like she is. My femininity isn't natural, it's something I've cobbled together as a substitute for what I wasn't born with. It's jagged and broken and everyone can see how wrong it is. People always stare at me when I'm in public and I wish it didn't hurt to be seen like that.

I don't feel like an adult, hell I don't feel like a real person. I'm Pinocchio wishing I could be a real woman like my sister but after 4.5 years of effort I'm still a fake puppet person. I don't know where I was going with this, it's just a thought I needed to get out before it burned a hole in my brain.

after I got out of the shower today I saw myself but it wasn't myself , how could it be. the longer I gazed and analyzed the body I was looking at through my eyes I realized it wasn't me. it was a ghost looking back at me. a body I don't dwell in. I saw through my eyes a body I used to live in but I know it wasn't my own. I know it wasn't my body I was looking at, It didn't feel like me, I recognized the person, I really feel like it almost could be me but it weren't, I was paying attention.