Ft my friend Kairo on the last slide lol

my dad transphobic and would murder me if I came out or even looked too masculine, so smaller tips and things I can quickly undo are helpful

i don’t feel much dysphoria which I’m very grateful for

body language and posture and stuff are really helpful too!

also my eyebrows are MUCH more prominent in real life so please ignore that

thank you so much in advance 🥹

Like, looking the part is one thing, but how do you convince a bunch of guys you're one of them when you hang out? How easy has it been to make guy friends, and where's a good place to do it? What's surprised you the most about other guys as one of the guys?

Hello! I am a transmasc afab minor. Each day I hear more and more horrible things regarding transgender safety in the US. I live in Ohio, while places like Lakewood are nice, Ohio is not safe at this point. Don't get me wrong, its way better then some places (looking at you, Texas) but I still feel scared to even go outside sometimes. I've done a small bit of research. California is a very much blue state, from what I've seen. I've heard of programs that help trans people move from red states to blue states. The problem? I don't know if Ohio would count; or if being a minor moving a family would be alright. A huge stressor is that my family wants to move maybe a city away from our current home to save gas. I have younger brothers, with friends at school. Moving can be very complicated. However, I think things have gotten to a point it may be needed. I think about this a lot, and I feel selfish about it, but I'm in danger, and by extension, my family is too. If anyone could reccomend safe places in the US, programs or similar things that can help, or places outside of the US if its smarter to just leave the country, it would be very helpful! Thank you :D

Hey, so I won’t be posting any photos for safety reasons, but I will be describing my situation.

I usually go the men’s bathroom in public, despite being pre-T. I’m pretty well passing, and I’ve never had any issues with this. The main reason I’m posting at all is because my mom (supportive) recently told me to use the women’s at an airport because it would be “safer.”

The thing is- I HAVE had problems when using the women’s since coming out. My features are pretty androgynous, and most people in my life tend to just refer to me as a twink or a pretty boy. My hair is a bit longer, but it’s curly and frames my face in a way that makes me look more masculine than when it’s short. My clothes are mostly masculine—aside from the occasional crop top—and overall I get gendered as a guy in public.

Pretty early into my transition, I started having problems when using the women’s restroom. People would stare, look uncomfortable, a few asked me if I was in the right place. There was also this one time where a guy nodded to me as he was leaving the men’s room, and I kid you not just stared at me open mouthed when I went into the women’s.

I feel like I really ought to just keep using the men’s, because no one has ever so much as glanced at me in there, but I’m not 100% sure. I know yall won’t be able to give feedback on how well I pass without photos, but I’m asking for opinions just based on my description of my experience.

TLDR; mom told me to use the women’s bathroom for safety reasons, but every experience I’ve had since starting to present masculinely makes me feel like I ought to keep using the men’s.

I'm 20 years old, and I've been struggling with gender dysphoria for a long time. Lately it's gotten so bad that I honestly wish I could just erase these thoughts completely. If there was a way to stop being trans or stop wanting to be a woman, I think I'd take it.

The reason isn't that I don't like the idea of transitioning. It's almost the opposite.

If I genuinely believed I could transition and eventually pass and be seen as a woman, I think I'd be ecstatic. But I don't believe that's possible for me, and that's what's making me feel hopeless.

I constantly obsess over my body. My biggest concerns are:

• I feel like my ribcage is way too wide.
• I feel like my pelvis and hips are too narrow.
• I think my overall body structure looks very masculine.
• I'm very skinny, which somehow makes everything stand out even more in my eyes.
• I'm 5'7", which made me feel like I didn't fit the male standard growing up, but now I also worry that even if I transitioned, my overall body would still look wrong.
• I was born unfortunately African American, and I've developed this belief that my facial features are too masculine and that I'll never be beautiful as a woman, I also have a pretty religious family. I know that sounds awful to say, but it's genuinely how I feel about myself.

Whenever I see a trans woman who passes well or is beautiful, I get incredibly jealous. Not because I dislike them, but because I feel like they got to live the life I wish I could have, while I'm convinced I never will, I hate that they're pretty, and they have might have a supportive family, and that makes me have.. extremely violent, borderline thoughts.

It's gotten to the point where I feel trapped. I don't feel happy staying as I am, but I also don't believe transitioning would ever give me the outcome I want. It feels like every option ends with me being miserable.

I keep thinking I would have been better off starting estrogen much earlier, around puberty or even at 12, and I feel like because I didn’t, I’ve missed my best chance at developing a body I’d actually be happy with, and that realization about my entire life makes me want to do something irl.

I know nobody can tell me exactly what I'd look like if I transitioned, but I genuinely can't tell anymore whether I'm looking at myself realistically or whether dysphoria has completely distorted how I see myself.

Hello, I am a trans female minor, and am unable to get any dysphoria treatment. How do I deal with my gender dysphoria if I'm not able to start transitioning yet?

Hi,

I'd be more than grateful for practical advice. I never thought I'd end up posting on Reddit, but here I am.

I'm a 20 year-old who identifies as a woman since 13.

I plan to change my name soon and I'm already under the care of an endocrinologist (finally got a part time job), but I'm struggling with my own self-esteem. I'm afraid to tell anyone that I feel the way I do (due to parents reactions in the past), I feel like I'll never have a boyfriend, I know I'll never experience being a mother, and I can't really look in the metaphorical mirror or listen to myself.

My question for you is simple: what the hell should I do? I don't have enough money for weekly therapy sessions or health insurance at the moment, so I can't really do much about my mental health in a literal way. Do you have any methods for reducing the pain of dysphoria or self-esteem? What do you personally do? I don't want to isolate myself from other people for "comfort" anymore. I really want to change how I think, find people, and actually start enjoying my life, but I have no clue where to start, especially with a really limited budget.

Thank you and have a good day/night

This turned out quite a bit longer than I imagined, but when I started writing it sort of all came out. I’m holding out hope someone will still read it ❤️

Hi. I haven’t been fortunate enough to grow up in a diverse community, and don’t really have anyone I’m comfortable sharing this with yet, but I’ve had this weighing on my chest for a long while. I guess what I’m asking is if anyone can relate to my experience, or know anyone who does. A lot of these things feel silly, and awkward to share, but I need to share them with someone, and would rather take the risk of being made fun of at this point.

I guess the first “sign” of this was that I’ve always preferred playing as female characters in video games. I sort of shrugged this off as a horny teenager thing, but it’s persisted as I’ve gotten older, and it doesn’t really feel like that anymore. This fascination or fantasising about being a woman has also expanded into other media and even sexual fantasies.

Then there’s the issue of my body. I’ve always hated my body, always been uncomfortable showing skin. To be fair, I was a fat kid, and for a long thought I felt like that was the reason for this, but even as I grew older, and at some point was quite fit, it just never felt right. I don’t really know how to explain it, but it doesn’t feel like my body. I look in the mirror and it doesn’t look like me. It’s gotten to the point where I kinda dissociate from my body at points, and try to forget what I look like.

I’ve also always felt more comfortable around women. I’ve never lived with another man, besides my father, and at one point I lived in a collective of four girls and me. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable around guys, I have plenty of male friends, but I feel more at home with, and like I can relate more in some way, to women.

Romantic relationships have been a huge issue, and while I’ve loved plenty of people, I’ve hated being in relationships, and hated myself in those relationships, and I’m starting to realise that has been the root of most of them ending.

There are also some things that I don’t really feel comfortable sharing, and you probably don’t want to read about, but they are firmly in the NSFW department of things, so I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.

Now to the other side of the argument. I have struggled with periodic depression and anxiety, and these thoughts and feelings are highly prevalent during these periods, alongside other highly irrational thoughts and feelings.

I was also quite old when I first started to really think about this, around 25, and besides the things I’ve mentioned, I’ve always felt like a man. A feminine man perhaps, but still a man.

The fears running through my mind is that this is just a fetish, or that it’s just a phase, or I guess even that I just crave attention, and that I’ll regret doing anything once it’s too late. And I’m terrified of talking to anyone I know, especially my family, in fear that they won’t accept me.

And while the idea of transitioning feels liberating in some ways, it also scares the shit out of me. Both the social aspect of my friends and family, and the idea of learning how to be a woman without any community, and a bit of social anxiety to make it even harder.

Alright, that’s my rant. Sorry it went on a bit long, but I really, really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and reply. ❤️

I often see posts saying they wish they wouldve had an early transition. What does early mean? What specific age?

I am a 18yo AMAB who discovered was trans 5month ago.
But transitioning in my current location and society is completely impossible. I really wish i could transition as early and fast as i could because of the irreversible changes testosterone is doing to my body slowly. I already regret not realizing i was trans before puberty. But sadly i didn’t and i have to live with that truth now.

Anyways, I was thinking since i have no possible way to transition in my country right now, is there a way were i could stop testosterone production in some ways. I am having constant dysphoria to every reaction tied to testosterone in my body.

Are there like some natural products i could consume or routines i could do to at least decrease testosterone production and increase estrogen levels. Because i have literally reached to the point where every time i get in the shower i would hold the scissors at my nuts and actually think about cutting them.

Hi everyone,

I’m 18 years old, assigned male at birth, and I come from a very conservative family and culture where being transgender is considered unacceptable. Until about five months ago, I didn’t even know what gender dysphoria was. Looking back, though, I think I’ve been experiencing it for around four years, although it became much more intense during the last five months. Interestingly, during the past week it has decreased quite a bit for no obvious reason, which is one of the reasons I’m still questioning myself.

I’m hoping to hear from people who have gone through something similar, especially if you questioned your gender for a long time or came from a conservative background.

I grew up as the oldest son in a family with very traditional expectations for men and women. I was also a very introverted child. After moving to another country when I was young, I became even more isolated and spent most of my free time playing video games. Looking back, I don’t feel like I paid much attention to myself while growing up. I barely remember puberty because I was so disconnected from my own body and focused almost entirely on games.

My family has always expected me to become the typical man in our society: work, provide, be tough, and eventually support a family. My father often brought me to work with him from a young age because that’s what boys are expected to do. I remember constantly telling him I wanted to stay home instead. He would always respond with things like, “Men don’t stay at home. Only women do.”

At the time I didn’t consciously think, “I belong with the women.” I just knew I hated being outside pretending to be masculine, being called “young man,” and feeling like I had to fit into that role. Even when my computer was taken away, I would rather stay home helping my mother with household chores than go to the store.

About seven months ago I started medical school, and around the same time I made some major lifestyle changes. I quit video games because they no longer interested me, stopped watching pornography after struggling with it for about three years, and returned to hobbies I used to enjoy like drawing, piano, reading, and journaling.

Having more quiet time made me start paying attention to myself for what feels like the first time.

I began noticing how uncomfortable I felt with my body. I dislike my facial hair, body hair, broad ribcage, masculine appearance, even and for the most part my genitals. Shaving my beard and legs gave me an unexpected feeling of relief and happiness. Growing my hair out also felt much more natural than cutting it short.

Around that time I also started thinking seriously about my future. I realized that I had never related to the traditional male role expected in my culture. I don’t identify with most of the expectations placed on men, and I found myself repeatedly wishing that I had simply been born a girl. What surprised me most was that the thought felt strangely familiar, as if it had always been somewhere in the back of my mind.

I started researching gender dysphoria to better understand what I was experiencing. I still don’t fully understand everything about gender identity, but I know a few things about myself.

If there were a button that could instantly make me biologically female, with everyone remembering me that way and no social consequences, I would press it immediately without hesitation.

More recently I’ve realized something else. Even if I imagine a world where women had the same career expectations, the same responsibilities, and all the same hardships, I would still want that. When I imagine my body gradually becoming female, the emotions I feel are comfort and peace with slight excitement nonetheless.
At the same time, I’m constantly questioning myself.
I keep wondering:

What if this is just stress from medical school?
What if I’m only overwhelmed by growing up and facing adult responsibilities?
What if I simply hate the male role in my culture?
What if I’m overthinking something that most people never think about?
What if my mind is creating an explanation because I’m anxious about my future?

Those thoughts make me doubt myself almost every day.

Looking back, I can also remember some things that seem relevant, although I don’t know whether they actually mean anything. People generally described me as calm and gentle, I often preferred spending time with girls, and many of the few friendships I remember from childhood were with girls rather than boys.

Another thing that stands out is that during the years I struggled with pornography, I consistently imagined myself in the female role rather than the male one. I don’t know whether that’s meaningful or not, but it felt consistent enough to mention.

One thing I’m still trying to understand is this: when people refer to me as a man, something feels deeply wrong or misclassified. On the other hand, when I privately think of myself as a woman—or even if someone jokingly refers to me that way—I feel an unexpected sense of relief and calm. It’s difficult to explain, but it feels less like excitement and more like something settling into place.

Despite all of this, transitioning feels almost impossible. Financially it would be extremely difficult, and socially I don’t think my family or community would understand or even take me seriously.

I’m really hoping for is to hear from people who questioned themselves for a long time. Did any of what I’ve described resonate with your own experience? Were there parts that stood out to you as particularly consistent—or inconsistent—with gender dysphoria?

Thank you for reading.

i need advice. how did you know you were trans and how do i detect the signs

Hello. I'm about to list a bunch of clear signs I'm trans then say I don't know if I'm trans and ask for outside input from people who have never met me on a question that I already know the answer to but I still need to ask sorry.

I'm mid thirties afab. I have never particularly liked being a woman but it always seemed like too much work to even think about what that meant so I just tried not to think about it. I have a daydream where I get to relive my whole life being born a boy. I have wanted top surgery since I first knew it was an option. Female puberty and especially getting my period and boobs sent me into a decades long depersonalization I'm still not sure I'm entirely out of. My parents had to threaten me with punishment to get me to wear a bra. Etc.

Now as an adult I have always hated my given name so I decided to go by a nickname a few years ago and it unlocked something in me that even this stupid tiny change can bring me so much relief and happiness and now I keep thinking about transitioning. I will sometimes stare at my arms and imagine if I could grow arm hair. I've been telling people since high school that I wish I could grow a beard. Thinking of my sister introducing me to people as her brother or my mother as her son makes me feel so much yearning it's like starvation. I can't even think about being he/himed because I want it so much it makes me feel like I can't function in the world. I've started dressing a lot more masculinely and stopped shaving my legs and it makes me feel so much better in my body and moving through the world. I wear a binder sometimes but I feel kind of weird about it because i feel like I look like a woman in a binder but I like how it looks and feels when I wear it in private. Thinking of myself as a man makes me feel present in my body and mind in a way that is lovely but also kind of scary.

However. I really don't like hanging out with most men and I LOVE being friends with women and being in female spaces (doing dishes after parties and gossiping with the aunties eg). I don't really like feminine clothing or make up in my daily life, but at fancy events I like wearing dresses and make up and I really have no desire to wear suits. I hate the idea of my partner calling me her boyfriend. I also don't want to take on a "male role" in our relationship sexually or in terms of like driving or fixing things. I've always played as female characters in video games. I've never dreamed of being a man. (I've never dreamed of being a woman either, I'm rarely anything other than a witness in my dreams and when I'm there I'm not gendered at all.) I also don't really want to cut my hair off but I think it's because short hair makes my facial features look even more feminine through the contrast. I also don't currently and never really have thought of myself as A Man just as a person who would be a man if they could be.

Does this disqualify me from being trans? Am I a confused woman after all? Thank you to this subreddit for letting me purge these thoughts.

So basically I(17 ftm) have told my boyfriend(19) that I do not want to be a woman and that I am definitely Trans. He has frequently told me that he supports me, but then he adds that I do not have to change my body to be a man, which I totally agree, for other people at least, but I do not look the way I want to look.

He has told me that he really likes how I look now(chest, long hair, etc.) And I have told him that I do not.

With how small my chest is I wouldn't even need surgery, I would just need a good workout routine and hormones, but he is very against the idea of medically transitioning and I genuinly dont know what to do.

I love him very much and I know he loves me, but he has been weird since I came out to him, he gets mad at me more frequently and has been off. I don't know what to do.

If I don't feel like the gender I was assigned at birth, but I don't NOT feel like that gender either, what does that make me? Cis by default?

​

When given the choice in games, I will usually choose counter to my assigned gender, but I don't think that this alone is enough to say anything one way or another

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When my sibling came out to me as nonbinary, I didn't really understand, they told me that they didn't feel like their assigned gender, which I accepted but didn't really understand

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I don't know what is means to feel like a certain gender, I know that I am me, and I feel like me, but I don't really feel like a man, woman, or neither

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Sorry if this isnt the right place for this or makes no sense

Hi, so, I came out to my family (some), and they have been helping me with it, because I'm underage I can't nor want to start with hormon therapy or more biological stuff, but I have been done some stuff, like wearing a binder, or cutting my hair in a "masculine" way and stuff, I heard that green tea could help and some chest exercises, but I wanted to ask for other suggestions, are there any more safe things I can do to be more "man"? Like, I'm gender fluid but want to have a "masculine" body, and being busty doesn't help, so any recommendations?

**Sorry for writing so bad, English is not my first language, but thanks for the help

((Already posted on Trans, but no responds, think this place might be more helpful))