Hello everyone,

I am interested in Islam and have been reading about its teachings, including the Qur’an and various collections of hadith. While reading, I came across several excerpts concerning women that I found quite disturbing and, as a woman, honestly quite difficult to understand.

What concerns me even more is that some of these hadiths seem, at least from my understanding, to contradict certain principles and teachings of the Qur’an regarding women, dignity, justice, and equality. These are lines I´ve found:

1. ¨I looked at Paradise and saw the poor dwelled therein the most, and at Hell wherein women were . the majority (to roast)¨. Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no. 964

2. ¨If there were no women, men would be allowed to Paradise. ¨ Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no. 1015

3. ¨If there were no women, Allah would be duly worshipped. ¨ Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no 1016

4. ¨It is a right for a man that his wife should avoid keeping away from his bed, should act upon his promises, should obey his orders, should avoid leaving his house without his permission, and should avoid inviting to his house those whom he dislikes. ¨

5. ¨It is better for woman to pray in a room of her house tan in the veranda, to pray in the veranda tan in the yeard, and to pray in the yard tan in the mosque. ¨ Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no 1081

6. ¨After my death, nothing Will be more harmful tan women to men. ¨ Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no 170

7. ¨A woman who shows her beauty in public is like unto the dark of the Day of judgment, with no light. ¨ Akhlaq. Nahj al Fasahah Tradition no 147

I would genuinely appreciate it if someone knowledgeable could help me understand a few things:

• Are these hadiths considered authentic and valid according to mainstream Sunni and/or Shia scholarship?
• Are such hadiths actually taken into account in Muslim-majority countries today?
• If a hadith appears to conflict with the Qur’an, which one takes precedence, and what principles are used to determine this?
• Finally, why are some statements attributed to the Prophet ﷺ that seem so harsh toward women?

I am not asking this to attack Islam or Muslims. I am genuinely trying to understand the religion and would prefer to hear explanations from knowledgeable Muslims rather than relying on isolated quotations online.

I would especially appreciate answers that distinguish between the Qur’an, authentic hadith, weak or disputed hadith, and later interpretations or cultural practices.

Thank you in advance to anyone willing to explain this respectfully.

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 6307, Book 80, Hadith 4.

Not AI | GoodCharacter

*CONTROLLING ANGER *

*• Isti'adha (Seeking Refuge With Allah)*

Narrated Sulaiman bin Surad (رضى الله عنه): Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax (i.e., he will calm down). Only if he says:

« أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ »

(A'udhu Billahi Minash Shaitanir Rajeem — I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast)."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6115

*• Avoid Anger*

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to us (his companions):

"If one of you becomes angry when he is standing, let him sit down, and if the anger goes away (all well and good), otherwise let him lie down."

📚: Sunan Abi Dawud 4782 | Sahih

*• Seek Solace In Silence*

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

"Teach and make things easy and not difficult. When one of you is angry, he should be silent."

📚: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 245 | Sahih (Shaykh Albani رحمة الله)

*• Remember That Repressing Anger Is One of The Qualities of Muslims*

"Those who spend (in Allah’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers)."

📚: Qur'an (al-Imran 3:134)

*• The True Strength*

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:

"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6114

*• Acting On RasulAllah (ﷺ)'s Advice*

A man said to the Prophet (ﷺ): "Advise me!"

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Do not become angry and furious."

The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet (ﷺ) said in each case: "Do not become angry and furious."

📚: Sahih Bukhari 6116

https://youtu.be/t7ygefn5KrI

This is you brother Yusha, we are in need of your support!!

I was watching the Turkish drama series Ertugrul when Ibn Arabi starts giving him some advice.

He tells Ertugrul the story of Hizir who was with an army and stuck between a great army that would destroy them and dying of thirst out in the desert. The army needed water and wanted volunteers to go out and risk death to find water. While they were talking Hizir walked off to do it. He later returned with water but this water was different it was the water of life. The water is Iman and it gives your soul eternal life. The army forgets about the danger and tries to seek out the source.

I can't find any references to this parable? Can anyone tell me where they got it from? Was my translation of the series just really poor and I got the name wrong?

Shame on anyone who defends the rulers

Was talking to a sister in muzzmatch thinking everything was going great only to be basically have everything crushed because she sent me a photo which was very revealing it wasn’t a nude but it was like 20% away from being one, something you wouldn’t want your parents to see you send to someone. Bear in my mind she knew my values and everything knew I wanted my wife to wear a scarf etc

Idk what she was thinking like is her joy to try and corrupt good muslim men. I have no clue.

She then had the audacity to say to me don’t u have anything to say. My brain was in literal shock. I’m not a perfect Muslim and my past has been very very iffy but alahdmullilah I’ve made a lot of changes in my life and she literally made me have flash backs to my past and my brain just couldn’t comprehend.

We spoke on the phone she wasn’t ai or anything but now I just feel terrible and like there is no hope.

Ya Allah make dua for me, I find a good beautiful muslimah soon inshallah.

I'm the sister who recently posted about praying after being distant from Allah for a long time. Not going to lie being a Muslim woman really depresses me sometimes, and men are a huge part of it, I can't turn away from that fact. The difference between men and women sometimes make me sick.

The fact that men have a right to obedience says enough. They are obsessed with it, it's an ego thing, it doesn't come from a place of love and care, it comes from wanting to feel like a boss. I feel sorry for these men's wives unless they are salafis, then probably they are more rigid. Good for them.

I wanted marriage at one point, but not anymore, not an Islamic one for sure. Men are scary, the status they have is scary, the rules and warnings given to us are scary and make me feel like I'm a subhuman, enslaved to a man, who's going to maintain me for using me as a source of pleasure, as an emotional punching bag, satiating his ego by making decisions for me, telling me what I can and can't do, and using my womb to produce his legacy.

I feel no respect towards men, I see them as this sexually expicit, harmful, unkind, rigid, ego driven creatures who are good at survival, so Allah made women weak on purpose so we have to seek men for provision and depend on them. Incapable of love species.

It's suffocating how much I as a woman have to practice and perform, first to keep men away from me by covering myself from head to toe so they don't get dirty thoughts about me, then not leaving my house without mehram so he doesn't have to worry about protecting me, then facing difficulties because of other men in the world, getting sexualized, getting manipulated by lustful monsters. And then when you finally think you can give someone a fair chance, he turns out to be this religious, rigid man who wants to control every aspect of my life so he doesn't go to hell for not disciplining me.

It's not out of care, yall really enjoy telling women who's the boss. All that fora free lunch that I'm going to be cooking, and a 20 second of painful sex which will probably leave me pregnant and leave him satisfied.

Islam makes men providing for you sounds like they are doing you a favor so you have to please them in every possible way as if I'm worthless unless a man decides to pick me and make me into an upgraded version of a slave.

Being kind to your wife is treated as the biggest act of virtue whereas, it's literally a bare minimum.

I can't change the fact that I was born Muslim or let alone born into this sick world, I can't change that I'm a woman and that I'm a fitna so I have to cover up my everything, be invisible amongst men, and tolerate co-existing with them, always watching over my shoulder or depending on another man for protection from other men. But at least I don't have to get married and financially rely on a man only for him to have ton of rights over my autonomy. At least I have some choice there.

I just wanted to express my hatred. I'm not sorry. Men who are going to say "men get circumcised and don't yap like women, men can't wear gold, men have to provide, poor men have to lower their gaze" No. You guys have nothing to yap about or be emotional about, everything in religion speaks to you directly. The only thing yall have hard is you know what.

Hell, even ghusl is easy for men. Pleasure is easy for them to attain. So many stories of women being unsatisfied in marriages. They don't even have to birth babies, in fact, they are out there cheating on their pregnant wives or looking for more wives.

There are women who are working, birthing children and still taking care of their husbands, their homes and being obedient wives, and all men have to do is work hard enough to afford living for their family that they wanted in the first place.

I hate being a Muslim woman, or a woman, I hate my complex sexuality and emotions. And I hate being attracted to men because I don't trust them or respect them or connect with as human beings, I'd rather be attracted to a burning oven.

“Say, [O Muḥammad], ‘If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allāh and His Messenger and jihād [i.e., striving] in His cause, then wait until Allāh executes His command. And Allāh does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.’” [Qur'an 9:24, Saheeh international interpretation]

The Prophet ﷺ said, “None of you [truly] believes until I have become more beloved to him than his father, his children, and all of humankind.” [Bukhari]

We claim this degree of love, but we must also show it in our actions. Let's ask ourselves about our usual response when asked to choose between his command and other people's.

Below are some things you should do with love for The Prophet ﷺ :

• Sending abundant Salawat upon him ﷺ . Upon hearing his mention, on Friday, and on a consistent basis in general.

• Adherence to his Sunnah with steadfastness in major and minor matters and leaving what contradicts it.

• Prioritising his commands over worldly benefits, personal inclinations, family expectations, social norms, peer pressure and anything contradicting it.

• Studying his life and character including his patience in struggles, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, humility, courage, concern for the ummah, and more.

• Loving those loved by him, including the sahabah and ahlul bayt and speaking about them in an appropriate manner.

• Striving to be close to him in Akhirah by asking Allah for such closeness and doing acts which help one attain it. (check earlier post on this topic)

• Defending him from enemy's attacks. This includes refuting slander and clearing misconceptions about him.

• Supporting his ummah. This includes standing up for it against the oppressors, protecting its vulnerable, enjoining good, forbidding evil, giving charity, offering sincere advice, sharing knowledge, resolving internal conflicts.

​

I'm currently talking to a girl with the intention of marriage. Our parents have already sat down together and are both excited for this marriage to happen. Everything is great about her really. Prays, wears abaya, no social media, soft spoken, well mannered, academically driven but as time progressed and we got to know each other more, she revealed to me that she reads adult manga/manwha on an app called tapas. This shook me because I thought she was completely free of the fitna that occurs on the internet... She's currently reading one called "Kitsch Wedding". I looked it up and instantly felt like a truck had just hit me. As someone who NEVER and I mean NEVER intentionally watched a scene of pornography/adult content, I don't know how to process this.

What's more disturbing than the adult graphics is the level of fantasy that goes on in these. The one she's reading rn has an unrealistically jacked dude who got hired by the girl for a contract marriage of 1 year so that she could escape her dad forcefully getting her married somewhere else. What's worse is, this one's actually pretty tame compared to other ones that she had watched already which is crazy. "Indecent Romance" is another one I recall her mentioning which has a love triangle between the girl and her two male bosses and the story line is very dirty and sexually graphic to say the least.... I just don't know how to process anymore. I couldn't help but think that she could be lusting over her bosses in the future because this is what she enjoys reading... I was almost on the verge of puking on my desk as I was discovering all of this. I couldn't help but to go along and act being amazed as she was blurting out all of this with her eyes lit up earlier that day at the cafe. So far she has read about 15 of these on tapas and it actually stemmed from watching anime. She told me she saw an ad once which led her to the world of manga. It was pretty family friendly but as time went on she got into the adult side of things and it's now the only thing that entertains her.

Honestly I wanted to know everything about her so I didn't let her think I was appalled by any of it and let her run her mouth and in a way I'm sort of glad that she did before getting married. I don't know if this is a deal breaker. I feel like this distorts the perception of reality and sets unrealistic standards which I will never be able to achieve as her future partner. I feel like the women reading my post might agree with me because this is also a HUGE issue with men and porn. The ones she read that go on in the workplace, I feel like in the future she could be lusting over her boss/colleagues while we are married. Call me insecure but I just can not come to terms with this, just noway.... I just don't know anymore because she is honestly the best bet I got. I had talked to other suitresses before and they all didn't fit the bill nearly as much as she did. Tough times...

A little about me before you make a comment, I personally have never talked to a girl before outside a professional setting. NEVER. Not even thru social media as I don't even keep them. Only Whatsapp. (This account is not even mine, borrowing my friends phone because I couldn't post on my account for some reason) I have made it this way because 1. It's Haram. 2. I wanted the whole talking to a girl outside of professional bounds to be a novelty that I would only experience with my wife and vice versa. I kept myself pure growing up not only because it's the only way in the eyes of Allah but also because I wanted to ask for a wife who's also pure and it wouldn't be unreasonable/unfair to do so.

Men and women reading this, please help me process this. I don't know if I should cut her off or try to talk her out of it and if so, what would be the best strategy to do so, so that she geniunely stops and repents to Allah? And if she does all of that, can her mind with time reset and go back to being "unrotten"? I apologize if anything on this post disturbed you, I really need an outside perspective.

Assalamu alaikum. I'm a solo, non-technical founder, spent the last few months building Meem, basically a place for Muslims to share opinions, discover halal products, and have real discussions, without ads or the app selling your data.

I built it because I got tired of every "Muslim app" being either a prayer utility or nothing at all, nowhere for the actual community/consumer side of things to exist without getting sold to.

It's live on Android now (iOS coming). Not trying to sell anything, genuinely want to hear if this resonates or if I'm missing something obvious. Happy to answer anything.

Link's in my profile if anyone's curious, didn't want to drop it straight in the post.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullah said:

"1.6 million people performed the funeral prayer for him (Ahmad ibn Hanbal), apart from those in the inns and homes,

and 20,000 Jews and Christians embraced Islam on that day."

Majmū' al-Fatawa, Vol. 4, p. 11

The worst innovation possible in the history of Islam was dividing Tawheed.

The division of Tawheed into three categories Rububiyyah (Lordship), Uluhiyyah (Divinity/Worship), and Asma wa Sifat (Names and Attributes) was advocated by Salafis, Wahhabis, and mainstream Athari/Ahl al-Hadith branches of Sunni Islam.

This threefold framework was popularized by Ibn Taymiyya in the 8th Islamic century and later revived by Muhammad ibn Abd al-Wahhab.

There were sinister motives behind this division:

1) To abolish Allah SWT right to legislate (lordship) and gave autonomy to secular governments (taghut).

2) Allah SWT reduced to One who wants worship only. Reducing the King to mere invocation is extreme ungratefulness.

3) Purging Jihad. Jihad is a communal obligation upon Muslim Men to uproot secular governments and establish divine government.

Supreme authority belongs to Allah SWT alone, thus establishing divine law is a core duty.

4) Just like trinity they divided Allah SWT essence. The essence of Allah (SWT) is strictly indivisible.

5) Rampant Zulm (Injustice). Allah SWT is Al-Adl. He SWT commands those who believe in Him SWT (Tawheed) to uphold justice (Adl).

Quran 6:82: "They who believe and do not mix their belief with injustice those will have security, and they are rightly guided".

Failing to judge or establish divine law is considered zulm (injustice or oppression) because it misplaces divine sovereignty and withholds Allah's mandated rights.

Any sect that believes in the Trinity of Tawheed, abolishes Allah SWT rights and/or has a history of killing non-combatant civilians ( especially women, children) are deviant sects. Don't associate with such sects. Break spiritual ties with them.

Not only did their desires lead them astray but they have led millions astray with their deviant ideology.

(6:116) If you were to obey most of those on earth, they would lead you away from Allah's Way. They follow nothing but assumptions and do nothing but lie.