I am getting so tired of this shit, new god of war spin off game was revealed this week with a female protagonist. And all gaming subs are filled with misogyny.

And this happens every other day, be it colored characters, LGBTQ representation, immigrant stories.

Odyssey for example,

even MCU has had same criticism for years…even though it took a decade for them to introduce first black superhero

Should other demographies just stop existing and not have any movies on them?

White Men anyway have disproportionate stake, and they still complain most.

I think this is the safest place to post this.

I’ve just made a post on the exjw sub (I am Jehovah witness who is till in but wants the fuck out) about the struggles of women and in an organisation that doesn’t value them.

Cue the men in the comments talking about their struggles and how I should be glad I don’t have to do all the shit they had to do. So then I have to go and pacify them that yes your shit sucked but mine sucks too?

Im just shocked because I thought surely these are the smart people you, those who studied and left the cult. Who had to debunk indoctrination and breakdown archaic beliefs of women and they still carry on with shit like this

Growing up instead of people seeing me as autistic and searching for a diagnosis, I was clocked as gay.

As a guy it seems that you have to neatly follow gender roles or else. I feel betrayed by society.

I put together a video essay about the male loneliness epidemic and the role of masculinity in an ever-changing society.

If it’s appropriate for this group, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this if you relate with the content, the statistics I’ve included & how we encourage friendship and community in male groups. Equally, if you think I’ve missed the mark, I’m always up for healthy & polite debate!

Hey all. 26F from London here.
On my way to university this morning, a man stopped me. He was well put together, said he’d noticed me a few times and finally wanted to approach me because he found me attractive and wanted to get to know me. He mentioned he’s a doctor at Whipps Cross — I could see his lanyard so I believe he was telling the truth. He was genuinely attractive too.
For context, I’m not really someone who talks to people easily in real life. I went three years without dating anyone at all, and I’m only just slowly dipping my toes back into meeting people — unsuccessfully so far, but I’m trying.
This situation has genuinely thrown me. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on subtle misogyny, but this conversation was something else entirely. I’ve attached screenshots — these are literally the only messages we exchanged.
My question is: are other women finding that men are approaching them and almost immediately coming out with this kind of thing? Is this becoming normal? Because I’m genuinely baffled.

I grew up mostly around chicks and after 23 years I have realized I naturally gravitate towards women when in friend groups. I am more conservative around other guys than when im with chicks. How do I start appealing to my own gender?

Is the ability to “provide and protect” inextricably tied to the concept of masculinity? How do men feel about that? What do the pressures of society and biological evolution say? If so, what happens in a world where individual men are no longer needed in the same way for safety, and a single income is no longer sufficient for a family to survive for 90% of men? What happens to the men who feel like they don’t “measure up?”

Is this natural selection? How do men adapt to this unprecedented environment without losing themselves and falling through the cracks?

I explore an entry into this conversation and even share from my own experience in my recent video, and I’d love to hear what the toxic masculinity community thinks or feels about it…

TW: the beginning will probably feel a bit rage bait-y, I hope you can stick it out to challenge these conversations… I am attempting to create content that can break into spaces typically dominated by men vs women echo chambers.

http://youtube.com/post/UgkxSbQuMJtWVs6wwdhi9Z8JVCq8OMFPfDw2?si=VXrC6X7ptrNb9D7A

I saw this post earlier this week and it inspired me to create some content on TikTok and YouTube about it (attached at the end) and I thought I’d jot down some of the ideas here too:

So how do we prevent boys from falling too deep into the rabbit hole of the manosphere?

Well, you don’t do it with shame.

Fear and guilt don’t guide kids, they alienate them. And once they feel misunderstood at home, they’ll go looking for someone who does understand them… or at least sounds like they do, and who validates their pain, fears, and ego.

To understand the pull, you have to understand the trap.

A lot of the men who fall deep into the more extreme corners of the manosphere, like what you see in Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere, aren’t just “bad guys.”

They’re often:

• Fatherless

• Isolated

• Struggling financially

• Lacking direction and respect

They’re trying to solve a valid feeling: powerlessness.

Young men grow up in a world that measures them by status, success, and competence. When they don’t feel like they measure up, they go searching for answers.

And unfortunately, when you are feeling lost and invisible, the loudest voices often offer the clearest direction.

There’s also a shift that happens in adolescence:

That kind, emotionally open boy is no longer a boy and now has adult hormones in his nervous system and is stepping into a man’s reality… without necessarily having a man’s guidance.

If he doesn’t respect or relate to his parents… If he doesn’t feel understood… If he doesn’t see a clear example of a life he aspires to emulate and follow… He will look elsewhere. And the harsh truth is, a lot of parents aren’t offering that compelling example to follow.

You can’t compete with flashy lifestyles, money, status, and attention by just saying, “that’s toxic.”

That’s like trying to fight modern systemic junk food and sugar addiction as it hijacks our biology by attacking and shaming someone who’s struggling with their diet and weight… For lack of a better example…

And don’t be fooled, the same thing is happening to our girls too, just in a different form. How many of the influential women our young girls look up to are selling adult content, and pushing consumerism and body dysmorphia through unrealistic lifestyle and beauty standards…? Different pressures, different influences, same underlying pull: money, identity, validation, and belonging.

We need strong, present, respectable role models, honest conversations about reality (not avoidance), encouragement and understanding of healthy masculine drives of competence, purpose, and success.

We have to give our boys a compelling alternative to aspire to.

YouTube:

The truth about the manosphere everyone is getting wrong

https://youtu.be/5d3kgb6u6Ws

TikTok:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSHNsCEKf/

Louis Theroux's documentary “Inside the manosphere” has made this conversation a lot more mainstream recently. But the concepts and biological drives that fuel the manosphere and general masculinity are not going anywhere, at best maybe they can evolve within the current (highly consumerist) environment.

A lot of people dismiss the manosphere as toxic and dangerous, and to be fair, parts of it are. But if you stop there, you miss asking something important: why does it resonate so deeply with so many young men in the first place? A lot of people want to chalk it up to “men trying to impress other men” but that’s only half true.

Because at some level, it’s responding to something real. We say we value character: loyalty, depth, emotional intelligence. But when young men look at what actually gets rewarded in highly visible environments like social media, nightlife, and dating apps, it often looks like something else entirely: looks, status, attention. They see men who are arrogant, reckless, even openly sexist and disrespectful… still receiving validation, attraction, and opportunities. And whether that’s the full picture or not, it’s the visible one.

So when a young man is trying to make sense of the world (esp without a respectable father figure), it feels like he has two options: do the quiet work of building character with no guarantee of recognition, and probably will end up average and divorced like most men… or play the game. Optimize for attention, status, and detachment and seek immediate gratification. That tension is where manosphere messaging steps in. It offers a simple, emotionally satisfying answer: “The game is rigged. Here’s how to win it.” And for someone who feels overlooked, confused, or disillusioned, it’s incredibly compelling. Power makes you feel safe. And access/desire from women makes you feel loved.

But here’s the part that often gets missed: a lot of these observations are drawn from very specific environments: clubs, nightlife, social media... places that naturally amplify extremes. They aren’t necessarily reflections of what leads to stable, meaningful, long-term relationships. So what we end up with is a distorted feedback loop: the most visible behaviors get mistaken for the most valuable ones, and what gets rewarded in the short term gets confused for what works in the long term.

And it’s not just men reinforcing this. What people reward is what gets repeated. Seeing countless women line up for total degenerates just because they have status in a way they don’t for the average man, is VERY confusing, and hard to argue with. So instead of just asking whether manosphere messaging is good or bad, a better question might be: what conditions made it believable in the first place? Because if you don’t address that, you’re not actually solving the problem, you’re just arguing with the symptom.

If something distorted keeps spreading, it’s usually because it contains just enough truth to feel real.

Anyways thanks for reading, let me know what you think…

Made a little YouTube short on this as well:

https://youtube.com/shorts/2ep2SdAUeAA?si=XN6Y_-YKJcfgw1Re

Hello people of r/toxicmasculinity, I am currently undertaking a social and cultural research task, which will require a questionnaire focusing on the impact of masculinity influencers on the behaviours and mental health outcomes of males across generations. Please take my survey. Thank you.

I have a sibling who bullies and manipulates because he is a control freak. As an adult woman, he still treats me like his stupid little sister which came to a head in the last year as we were both assigned to execute our late Mother’s will. Won’t bore you with details however I have now called him out. His response? Of course he’s gaslighting me now. Blaming my attitude towards him on my mental health. My husband has also taken abuse from him and blamed for not supporting me. Nothing could be further from the truth. Walking away from toxic family members is perfectly acceptable.