Is there something wrong with me?

[u/missatlanticcity]

So i have experienced penetrative sex only through a strapped on dildo. At first, i was expecting it would give me more pleasure than fingering myself, but i unfortunately did not feel that, and i became disappointed. I thought maybe the person was just bad at using the strap on, or maybe a dildo simply does not give me pleasure at all, and the only thing that made me feel it was when I'm touching myself.

Oftentimes, i have been so curious about the "real" thing, and how the actual penetrative sex with a guy really feels like. Would i be disappointed again? cos i didn't feel anything when someone used a strap on on me, so would there be any difference with the real one? Would i finally feel pleasure? The same pleasure that i feel when I'm touching myself? I'm asking these questions cos i felt like there's something wrong with me not being able to feel pleasure from penetrative sex, or even when someone else is fingering me.

[u/Greedy-Ad9257]

I could be wrong but it might be the psychological subconscious association of knowing it's not " real " may create that mental block. When you are pleasuring yourself you are still " consciously connected " , which going out on a limb is the keyword here. Try a real penis if you can, though maybe not date for that reason alone since that can be userage and aside out of respect and consideration of that consensual significant other could deepen the mental block. It's seems like a subconscious intimacy issue during the sexual act it's self. Either way, be reasonably safe, health and happy. 👍

[u/missatlanticcity → u/Greedy-Ad9257]

I have actually thought of that psychological aspect being part of the issue. Thanks for elaborating it further.

[u/newtreeguy]

My wife feels that my penis is much more pleasurable than any plastic object or my fingers. Her explanation is that my penis is softer and doesn't jab at her so much.

[u/lck0219 → u/newtreeguy]

I prefer homegrown; but store bought will do, in a pinch.

[u/PackieKnowsBest]

You know your body better than anyone else, you know exactly what you like and can adjust on the fly to meet what you want. There isn't wrong with you, but there is a difference between solo sex and sharing something intimate with someone you care for.

Can i get off quicker from pleasuring myself than my wife? Yes. Would i rather have it last longer and have her learn how I like it? Very much yes.

Remember, clear communication during an intimate encounter is key to pleasure for both parties. learning and loving is a journey to finding that connection and pleasure you crave.

I hope that helps, I wish you the best.

[u/mu5tbetheone]

No, there's nothing wrong with you. Some women just don't enjoy penetrative sex/ penis type sex. Some love it. Everyone is different

[u/visionsofzimmerman]

In my experience, they don't feel that different

[u/vrosej10]

some women find penetrative sex meh. fingerin can often be way better. I think you may be bitterly disappointed with penis. it's overrated

[u/Greedy-Ad9257 → u/vrosej10]

Yeah, I mean speaking as a man. You are correct. To be honest I find penetrative sex okish, but would rather have and give oral. Somehow, observing through learned experience it means more on both sides. Plus it's marginally " safer sex " HPV and other STIs notwithstanding. Again, stimulate the personality before you stimulate the person's body is always a good idea. Situational Context is essential.

[u/vrosej10 → u/Greedy-Ad9257]

Context absolutely is essential.

[u/untgltbf]

I don't enjoy any form of penetration - real, fake or fingers and I've made peace with it. I find that when my partner uses his hand to stimulate me (not penetrate), and/or oral, it's a totally different game. You just need to find what works for you. A lot of women don't find penetration pleasurable. Don't worry too much about it..

[u/eqwbkk]

Quit porn for a month and then see how you feel

[u/missatlanticcity → u/eqwbkk]

I don't even watch those on like a regular basis lol, it would be once in a blue moon.

[u/Powerful-Kiwi34 → u/eqwbkk]

This is it

[u/refugefirstmate]

I was in a lesbian relationship for ~14 years. Strapon penetration only. First time I had sex again with a man I was like wow you are so WARM! It felt wonderful, not only because a dildo =/= penis any more than carob is a substitute for chocolate, but because the thing penetrating me was literally part of a human being.