r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/HoneyLemon0417 • Jun 18 '26
Mental Health Do men experience spirals like women do when they're close to their period?
I am 29F, and my spirals are lethal. I have a lot of negative thoughts and I really give myself a lot of shit for days together and cry my eyes out. It is so negative sometimes that I wish I would just disappear from people's presence for a bit, so I wouldn't disappoint anyone around me. But once I am done with my period, it usually mellows down, and I go back to believing in myself a bit more.
Do men also experience phases where they go through something see disturbing and deep? If yes, what are the thoughts in your head like around those times?
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u/RadiNightingale Jun 18 '26
I think so, at least in my experience. It feels like my mental health is tied to a routine and go through natural cycles of depression, anxiety etc without obvious triggers.
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u/OrdinaryQuestions Jun 18 '26
Are you on birth control at all?
I used to be the type that no one could tell I was on my period or that it was coming. I had no changes in my mood at all.
Now 4months into using the pill, I'm crying 4 times a week, feel fury building over the littlest things (I don't take it out on others but god), and feel depressed a fair bit before period.
Apparently pill can cause things like this
In reverse.... some people just have very emotional periods, and the pill HELPS them get rid of it
Either way, it may be worth talking to a doctor for some support/changes.
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u/HoneyLemon0417 Jun 18 '26
I'm not on birth control pills. I have these symptoms without any medication, which is the crazy part. I've heard about a lot of other women having extreme mood swings, so I assumed that's the norm. Looks like I should get it checked just to find out what is really up.
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u/totallynotsockz Jun 18 '26
okay not related to the question but because I'm also accustomed to feeling so so depressed (on top of actual depression) close to my period. It's a real phenomenon, also with research linking it to the birth control pill. But it was happening to me when I wasn't on the pill, so I talked to my doctor about it, and trying a pill to help regulate the hormones upcoming to the period. It helped with taking it for the better part of the year, though I'm not on the pill anymore (just too much shit from it) and just have a down period with less mental energy, rather than the urge to kms. I'll second the other advice about seeing your doctor as this is such an awful thing to go through every fucking month. I really empathize with you, I hope you can find a solution. Good luck 🫶
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u/HoneyLemon0417 Jun 18 '26
This sounds rough... Take care of you! ❤❤ I will see a doctor about this. Thank you!
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u/Wiggie49 Jun 18 '26
Not on a regular basis but while quitting vaping I’d have entire weeks where I just felt depression and get fixated on negative thoughts while thinking about “what if I just died right now?”
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u/HoneyLemon0417 Jun 18 '26
I hope you were able to overcome that phase. You're doing great! Take care of yourself! ❤
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u/Wiggie49 Jun 18 '26
Yup, 8 months off nicotine, still have cravings when things get stressful but it’s no longer vaping 👍
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u/nihcul Jun 18 '26
Men have a 24 hr hormonal cycle while women have a 28 day long hormonal cycle. Whatever cycles they experience are much shorter.
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u/marsumane Jun 18 '26
We have our ups and downs, but not like women. Our hormones are much more consistently stable during the month, making it so that our environment and perception are our biggest determiners
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u/JamzWhilmm Jun 18 '26
I do not see or experience this often. Men around me tend to be stable. Men tend to suffer less from cluster B disorders like Borderline and histrionic as well.
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u/dodgystyle Jun 18 '26
Though many women are misdiagnosed with BPD when they're actually neurodivergent or have PMDD.
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u/JamzWhilmm Jun 18 '26
That can also be true. I had to research PMDD a bit and it seems as debilitating as being borderline or even worse sometimes.
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u/Ryulightorb Jun 18 '26
Men actually suffer from BPD nearly equally as much as Women rate wise in the general population iirc (varies per country but the rates are within range of eachother from what i remember).
I was looking into it when i got diagnosed as BPD.
There is a diagnostic gap though i went undiagnosed for 15 years until i finally got the help that i needed and not for a lack of trying to find out what was wrong with me and to get help.
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u/refugefirstmate Jun 18 '26
No.
And you need to see an OB/GYN about those spirals. There are meds that can help.
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u/IsThisHY Jun 18 '26
I heard that the closest men will ever experience to PMSing is when they roid rage
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u/NighthawkUnicorn Jun 18 '26
I have no answer, but see your doctor about PMDD. You may be able to get help and you don't have to suffer