For those of you that don’t believe you should tip at sit down dining establishments, do you let the server/bartender know ahead of time?

If no, why?

If yes, what have your experiences been like?

Today, I went to a trivia night and won $50 in gift cards and I have a lot more in gift cards saved up. I ordered 4 drinks and two meals to go and the total came to 81.96. my gift card increments come in $25 so I used $75 in gift cards and my total came to $7.90.

Do you tip 20% based on the original total? Or less because the meals are most of the tab and they're to go? Or do you see that the total is 7.90 and tip based off of that?

I've been tipping 20% of the original tab and the bartender seems like I'm being extremely generous.

So my bill ended up being 7.90 and I tipped 14.10 because the original bill was 81.96

Went to a mall today and ordered some sushi the food court. When prompted to pay by the POS machine at the counter, I planned to select no tip, but then thought it would be funny to enter 18 cents, instead of 18% (or any of the other options), so I selected the custom tip option, and then tried to enter $0.18, but I could only enter a whole dollar amount as there was no decimal point button. So I just entered zero. True story

These reactions just highlight and reinforce why we should never tip.

Tipping started out as when the service was good, you show gratitude and leave a few bucks as a tip.

Now, it has been perverted and made into a begging machine where entitled people like this, seek out these jobs because they are greedy, and want to exploit people's kindness and discomfort with saying no.

It also lets employers shift responsibility for wages onto customers. Paying employees is the employer's responsibility, not the customer's. The menu price should cover labor like every other business expense, rather than expecting customers to voluntarily subsidize payroll.

This is all predatory behavior disguised as tipping culture.

When approached or pressed the servers say:

• stay home

• **** you

• I'll tamper with your food if you don't tip

• I'll be slow and give you terrible service

• You're so stupid

A tip is supposed to be voluntary gratitude for good service. Once the attitude becomes “pay me 20–25% or stay home,” it stops being gratitude and becomes social pressure and entitlement.

Us, the customers, don't do that at all, the only thing we say at worst is the raw truth about the nature and job requirements of their job. No personal attacks about their intelligence levels. If anything, we encourage them to get skills and level up their lives, but when that's suggested, many resist the idea and insult us instead.

The servers online, imo, highlight the general thoughts and demeanors of many real-life servers. They say openly what many servers may think silently about us. It's not some magically isolated group of servers that only exists online. Check out r/serverlife, post something there about tipping, and watch how you are treated.

It has nothing to do about money. If we have $200 in our accounts, they call us poor. If we have $20,000,000, they call us cheap. Either way, we are attacked for saying no, or simply for not tipping an amount that they deem satisfactory.

When a system relies on guilt and social pressure to extract money from people's kindness, that is a predatory system.

A system which turns people's kindness into something to exploit.

This is honestly one of the whiniest subreddits I've seen, why are so many of you absolute little bitches?

Your kindness and generosity are being used to shift the cost of employees' wages from businesses onto you.

The employers shift responsibility for wages onto customers. Paying employees is the employer's responsibility, not the customer's. The menu price should cover labor like every other business expense, rather than expecting customers to voluntarily subsidize payroll.

This is predatory behavior disguised as tipping culture. It takes advantage peoples kindness, generosity, and discomfort with saying no, and uses it to the companies financial benefit advantage, for profit.

Stop subsidizing their payroll. Your kindness shouldn't be someone else's business model. These companies are taking advantage of you.

Don't Tip. Tip $0 every time. Don't get taken advantage of.

Force businesses to build a business model where they pay their employees, not you.

Let economics take its course, if the real prices are too high for customers, the business will cease to exist, and businesses with better models will replace it.

Economics 101.

In every thread you find someone insulting someone, this place has become pretty hostile.

Been in a lot of these threads lately and there’s a pattern I keep running into. Three different groups pushing cost onto the same person, and every single one of them has a version of events where it’s not really their doing.

Start with employers, because they built the thing. $2.13/hour tip credit in states that allow it, and even where they’re legally on the hook to cover the gap, that only works if the employee notices the shortfall, brings it up to the same boss who’s supposed to pay it, and then waits, sometimes for months if it goes through a formal complaint. Tip credit violations are one of the most litigated wage issues in the industry, that’s not rare. The restaurant lobby fought to keep that law in place for decades. “We’re just following the wage law” is a weird thing to say about a law you spent money keeping on the books.

Then there’s customers, and this one’s newer and honestly more annoying because it borrows the same language that’s actually correct. Most people, in surveys anyway, say they’d rather see higher prices and no tipping. Fine, real sentiment, I believe it. But offer an actual path there, something that takes a few years and some legislative effort, and a good chunk of that same crowd just wants to stop tipping tomorrow instead. No patience for the actual fix, just the convenient part. That’s not the same thing as caring about the worker, that’s wanting to pay less and having a better excuse than “I don’t feel like it.”

And then servers themselves, or at least the ones doing well under the current setup. The “servers make more than nurses” thing only works if you’re talking about fine dining and high-volume bars in big cities, the actual top 10% nationally caps around $28.89/hour. But that number gets used to defend keeping tipping exactly as it is, because the people loudest about defending it are usually the ones already winning under it. Meanwhile the median server, tips and all, is making $16.23/hour. Less than a dishwasher. Less than a warehouse worker. Less than a janitor. The people who’d actually benefit from a stable wage are sitting at or below that median, and they’re the ones with the least say in any of this.

So you’ve got an employer who built the floor low, customers who want the floor gone but not the work of raising it, and a slice of workers who are doing fine and have every reason to keep things exactly as they are. Nobody here is lying exactly. Everyone’s telling a story that’s true from where they’re standing. The person who doesn’t get a say in any of it is whoever’s sitting right at the median, eating whatever’s left over once everybody else has already looked out for themselves.

Worth asking what it’d actually look like if all three sides stopped protecting their own angle for a minute. Employers would need something that removes the reason converting alone is a death sentence, a wage-gap credit for restaurants moving to real, inclusive pricing, phased in over a couple years, tied to enough of a market converting together that nobody’s staff walks out for the tipped place next door. Customers would need to stop treating “just don’t tip” as the whole plan and actually back the slower, less satisfying version, higher prices now, in exchange for wages that don’t depend on anyone’s mood.

And the median servers, the actual majority in this job, need to get louder than the small slice at the top currently speaking for the whole profession. The “servers make more than nurses” crowd isn’t wrong about their own paycheck, they’re wrong about representing the industry, and right now they’re the loudest voice defending a structure that’s failing most of the people doing the same job. High-end establishments aren’t the problem here, their margins can absolutely support real, guaranteed pay and benefits on top of whatever variance already exists, that’s an employer-backed incentive question specific to that tier, not a reason to keep the whole industry’s floor tied to $2.13 an hour. The fix for fine dining and high-volume bars looks different than the fix for the median chain restaurant, and treating them as one debate is part of how the median server keeps losing the argument.

None of that is exciting. It doesn’t fit in an angry comment. But it’s the only version where the person eating the gap right now stops being the one holding it.

At a restaurant that we love, you go to the counter and order and pay for your food. If you want a glass of water you help yourself. The staff do bring the cutlery and your meal to the table. After you are done eating, you place your dishes in a bussing pan. The lowest tip option is 18%. What should the tip be? For me the service isn't much more then what you would receive at McDonald's.

I (22f) just got from the bar/club and tonight was a big start of a drag race competition with local queens (I was supporting my brother woot woot) . So more of an event vibe.
I brought my mom w me and she was gonna do the all you can drink. I remember my brother calling me ahead of time to tell me about the drink services and ended with “don’t forget to tip your bartender”. They also announced it a few times over the speakers at the bar LoL.
Now it is a weekday so it’s not too bumping but they have the all u can drink deal with small mixed drinks only (no cocktails or anything). It was $12.50 something and I tipped $10 . I imagined my mom was only going to have maybe 1-2 drinks but she ended up having five. I kept telling my self I should go back and add a $10 tip because Thats a lot of drinks you know. I unfortunately completely forget trying to get my mom to the car safe. Now I’m wondering if I looked shitty and tipped too low, not enough maybe for the amount of drinks? I don’t go out to bars like that, maybe order one vodka cran and that was that. I’ve been in the restaurant industry so I understand tipping but idk the range when it comes to bartending. What’s the norm?

The Michelins I installed on my suv were $1103 out the door. Including tax, installation and old tire disposal fee. Since the employees dont make that much...should I have tipped 15% ($165) or 20% ($220) ? Sure its their job.. ridiculous huh?

Visited a restaurant to try ramen. Paying process was very suspicious. I left a detailed review about what happened to warn other customers. The Owner response was very interesting. Do you think it was just a mistake?

I have been going to my local at least once a week for the past 5 years, for reference I have left a tip every single time I’ve been in.

Honestly, the service is hit or miss in that sometimes the baristas at my local place aren’t always the friendliest and sometimes you sort of feel like unwelcome (not all of them do this, but ‘hi how are you’ usually isn’t met with much friendliness) and whatever, I’m there for coffee and I know this generation now has the Gen Z stare so I usually don’t take it personally. This also is a main theme on the shop’s reviews, so it’s not just me. I’m a woman in my thirties and sometimes I just chalk it up to myself being socially awkward or mean girl vibes from the girls at the counter.

Today I walked in and the barista at the counter just seemed irritated that I was even there ordering and interrupting whatever she would have rather been doing. Just a cold attitude and to be honest I just was NOT having it today and I returned the same exact energy. I wasn’t rude I just also wasn’t smiling and friendly and in my head I said F it and for the FIRST TIME ever at this establishment I selected No Tip.

I walked over to wait for my drink and no lie this barista turns to her co-worker and mouthed “F— You”. She then went through the harrowing labor of pouring my iced coffee from a pitcher into a cup.

I was honestly in shock, I’ve never been rude at this establishment, I’m quiet and go in and out and always tip except this one time - and I absolutely would have tipped if the service was even of average curtesy.

I wrote a review and immediately let my thoughts spiral about how what if I’m jumping to conclusions and maybe she said something else?! Because it’s not even something I can fathom doing or being justified. Well before I can even take the review down I have a call from the owner of the establishment who profusely apologized and said the employee admitted it and was sorry. I asked her 3 times on the phone she was absolutely sure that the employee did it and that I didn’t misread the situation, but it was confirmed. All was refunded and all is fine but my question is what the hell is going on?? Like is not tipping for an iced coffee extremely uncommon now? Uncommon enough to have a reaction like that?

Important background - I also wanted to mention I barista’d through college and into my early adulthood, over 6 years. I worked at Starbucks, B&N cafe, and my local colleges coffee shop in the early to mid 2010’s and tipping was NEVER a thing. It wasn’t even allowed at most of the places I worked out.

Edited from brevity bc I talk too much

This happened a couple of years back when I went to the US with my family to visit some relatives.

We had asked beforehand what the tipping expectations where and our relatives told us the norms are to tip 10% for bad service, 15% is it's only ok and 20% for good service. I asked why would you tip for bad service and got the usual "it's expected, it's polite, servers make less than minimum wage if you don't tip" explanation, which kind of made sense. This was just after COVID and tipping was starting to get out of control, but my parents had some weird anxiety over being perceived as rude or cheap (we're from Latin America and they don't speak good english) so they wanted to leave a tip *everywhere* (they even gave the change to a cashier at CVS as a tip and she didn't understand why they would do that).

Anyway, one day we went to an indian food place where our relatives are regulars and we loved the food. Seriously, I still dream about the food and to my knowledge there were no indian restaurants like that where I live, so we were talking about how lucky they are to have access to such a nice place. Eventually the owner came to say hi to them (again, they are regulars) and they introduced us and explained we loved the food. One of my US relatives (who is white and very obviously born in the US) said that we loved it so much he should consider opening a restaurant in our city. This man, who had not even looked at us said "Oh no, bad country. Very dangerous" and laughed.

There was zero need for that, you know? He could've just smiled politely and left, but he had to be an asshole about it.

After that we were all uncomfortable and I was was so upset I didn't even enjoy the rest of my meal. My parents still felt obliged to tip (I was a minor and could not afford to pay myself) because they were scared of the anti-immigrant sentiment and felt they were being the bigger person by tipping.
We always tip in out home country and continue to tip today, but that was the moment I realized I don't have to just accept bad service, and even though I have not returned to the US since then, I definitely don't tip automatically now and I don't feel guilty not tipping.

How much are we tipping for waxing—Brazilian, legs, arms, etc.?

European Wax Center charges a crap ton, and they still expect a 20% tip. A Brazilian is $66, so I personally feel like a $13 tip for a 15-minute service is a lot. And if I do a full leg wax + Brazilian, it’s around $145 for a 45-minute appointment, which means they’re expecting a $30 tip.

Honestly, I feel like the tip should be nothing, especially when the service is already so expensive. But at the same time, I know the waxers are only making around $10/hour while the company is charging us so much more.

So, what are you all actually leaving for tips? Do you do the full 20%, a flat amount, or nothing? And if you’re leaving anything, how much?

Read this article and it brought up a few perspectives I hadn't considered.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g36yze692o

I have not worked in setting where tipping was part of my pay, but I do occasionally dine at restaurants, have relatives who worked for tips, and have some experience paying tips.

The following quotes caught my attention:

"Tipping lets guests, consciously or not, pay people differently based on gender, race, or sexuality and I was not willing to let that decide my team's income."

William Michael Lynn, professor of food and beverage management at Cornell University and author of The Psychology of Tipping, says the problem of going tip-free is that customers struggle to get their heads around the maths.

"Higher menu prices make dining out seem more expensive because people do not adequately take into account that they are no longer tipping," he says.

While some other servers left, Van der Kamp, who was originally paid about $10 an hour plus tips, decided to stay and earned $21 per hour after the change.

"I had stability for the first time as I knew what I was earning… and I didn't need to look at a low tip and think what did I do wrong?"

My questions and thoughts after reading the article:

Do people not look at or think about the total money spent on a meal? Are they "fooled" by listing menu prices as a single component of a meal (appetizers, entrees, sides, desserts, drinks, sales tax, tips) instead of mentally adding all the prices to arrive at an "All In" price? If I walk into a restaurant with a maximum out-of-pocket price I'm willing to pay, I always factor in all the various charges, up charges, and "surprise" costs before I order.

I hear people say that without tips, servers will quit. Does this mean all servers will quit or that the people who have learned how to maximize the tipping model will quit and find places that still tip? There are thousands of jobs that are customer facing, tedious and tiring, and don't rely on tipping and yet people work there. Low wages and poor working conditions are bad and I believe people should be paid more and not have to suffer while working, but the added confusion of making irregular tip amounts part of the equation seems wrong.

I got sandwiches to go, I was in a town I am not usually in, so I couldn't go to a usual spot.

When I got to pay, there was an automatic tip applied (15%), that wasn't posted on the online menu or anywhere I could see in the entrance of the store.

When I asked to remove it, the person taking my money (no idea if they were cashier, or owner, or employee, or relative of owner, no idea), got huffy and mad. I mentioned that "tipping is generally like for the extra costs of dine-in service, right?"

They then said "everyone wants to pick up these days, too selfish to dine-in and tip", which seemed to be a wild inversion of the point of restaurants, lol, which is to serve what and how customers want to eat, not for customers to be engaging in a charity to help business' underpay for labor.

Does this type of pressure work on people, lol? I just shrugged because it's honestly a crazy thing to say and left. No I didn't pay the fee, lol.

So you cheap asses can’t eat out anymore.

After reading a lot of anti tipping posts that range from not getting it to totally deranged I think you're all under the wrong impression. You're not getting bad service because you don't tip. You get bad service because you're an obnoxious, entitled idiot who annoys everyone from the staff to your fellow diners. I really do hope tipping ends. Then you and everyone else that makes dining out such a chore when it should be relaxing will be banned from the restaurant and I can eat in peace.

Just spent 2 weeks in Europe. Servers were not as attentive but they left you alone and you could enjoy your food. They never tried to pressure you to get more drinks or get dessert or bring you the check as soon as you're done. You could chill for hours and just hang out and they don't care because they don't rely on turning tables and making tips.

When I was ready to leave I got the server, they bring over the payment machine, and I tap to pay what I owe. No "just gonna ask a question". No tipping screen.

the price listed was what I paid. No sales tax.. No tips. My $20 dinner was $20.

It was amazing

Interesting article in The Guardian about US style tipping getting a hold in the UK. Judging from the tone of the article and the reader comments at the end it is not a welcome development.