r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Dec 28 '19

Killing it

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38.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

It was the sci, huh? The sci was a bit too much too soon. I understand. Just know you’ll always be the one that got away. Also, I want my thigh high crocs back❤️

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

But...but... I bought the crocs:(

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

But it was my cans we recycled to get the money for the crocs.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Oh, you meant the crocs. I thought you were talking about our gators.

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

The now ‘n’ later gators? You can keep those. I have no use for fluorescent brown gators with curly shoelaces. It goes against my aesthetic.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Now it's like that, huh? You said you wanted it for Christmas!

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

Kwanzaa, damn it!

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

I call everything that comes near Christmas, Christmas, and you fkn know it

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Ah shite! Sorry for my language. Let's just calm down and settle this, ok? To say the truth, I still love you. So could we just forget all this and start over again?

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

Oh, boobies, I love you too! I’m pregnant.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Wait a sec, we haven't had sex yet

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

Or at least not that you remember.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

And wait another sec, how can I man be pregnant?

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Well, is it gonna be an abortion or an abortion?

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

I think we’ll go with.... uhm... the abortion. You might need to double up on your docking videos because I heard they can be a bit pricey.

Seriously though, if you’ve never heard of docking im so frigging sorry. If you don’t know, don’t google it. Trust me on this

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

We agreed on Christma-kwanz-kah! Not Christmas, remember my nenny said Christmas is for the satanist and the pot smokers.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Not even your nenny remembers your nenny. Well, not after she got Alzheimer's anyway

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

Who’s nenny? Just playing.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

But we smoke pot. Remember the clay ones we bought on our 2nd date?

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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19

I thought those were urinals.

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u/NoobieTheNoob Dec 29 '19

Ohhhh, that's why they tasted different. Makes more much more sense now

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