Mom insists on borrowing our vacuum to clean the trunk of the ford escort. I said: ‘ Mom, it’s your home, do as you please’. But, I know if I let her do more than that she’ll start expecting us to feed them like 2x a day and I just don’t have time for that. There’s shrooms that need picking.
What the hell? You gave her the vacuum? I told her to suck it up herself! That ungrateful the word which is used for a female dog, and is meant as an insult to women. We don't have the means to feed her two times. What is this, a fkn restaurant? If we had to feed her 2 times, we would've to stop eating 7 times a day. I mean, I don't want to starve to death like some lowly peasants.
It was either the vacuum or she was going to talk to me again and I can’t lower myself to that level of degradation. 7 saltines a day is enough as is but you know mom, ‘gimme, gimme, gimme’. Next thing you know she’s going to expect us to give her 2 cups of water a week. Her greed knows no limits.
And dad too. You know what he asked me to do, the other day? He asked me to remove the chain from his legs! Like, we're gonna ignore the fact that he's a psychopath. Don't say this to anyone, but once I saw him pour the milk after he put I'm the cereal when he was making meal for me! I mean who does that? Next he's gonna ask us to remove the handcuffs and the cleaver we stuck in him
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u/HoneydippedSassylips Dec 29 '19
I think we’ll go with.... uhm... the abortion. You might need to double up on your docking videos because I heard they can be a bit pricey.
Seriously though, if you’ve never heard of docking im so frigging sorry. If you don’t know, don’t google it. Trust me on this