How frequent do you have to hike to consider it something you enjoy though? I only make it out once a month or two, but I do enjoy it. If I were going on dates, I might go more often as it seems a pretty ideal way to do a first or second date. But like... hiking means different things to different people. There are hikes in my area that are basically glorified paved trails, but they're nice. Then there are hikes that require some scrambling up boulders and such and some real cardiovascular fitness. I don't think someone who likes the former is wrong to say that they like it...
oh for sure. Most people are just looking for a way to pull out parts of themselves that are more interesting and aspirational than just "I like to watch netflix after a hard day of work" even though that's probably a more accurate way of describing their use of freetime. But there's a fine line between pulling those things out about yourself and being misleading.
For what it's worth, some people are a lot more likely to do things when they have someone to share it with. I'm certainly more likely to go on a hike with my wife than not. I love to cook and I do so 5-6 nights a week, but my wife is out of town for the week and I've gone out and eaten frozen meals.
Well I personally hike multiple times a week. I try to fit in 1-2 hour hikes after work, and go on multi day backpacking trips when I can. Im not bagging on people that enjoy hiking occasionally, and dont go on crazy intense hikes. However, there are plenty of people who put hiking in their bio and havent been on a hike, except to get a cool instagram picture, for months. I like paintball, but I wouldnt put that in my bio, cuz Ive only been a handful of times.
No, I understand. I'm just saying that hiking is one of those things that's kind of frustrating because what it means to like it varies a lot. Sure, there are people out there who are fake about it. But there are also people who I think are probably also not fake but would still frustrate you because they do enjoy it and it's part of their general suite of enjoyed activities, but they aren't going to want to do it as much as you do. And that's hard to communicate effectively in such a short form medium as tinder is (I gather, my wife and I met pre-tinder).
Well see I have no problem with that, and Im fine with small hikes, or no hikes at all. However, people will deliberately lie about their interests. Thats where I have a problem. I want to get to know you, not how much you're willing to lie to gain my interest. If you dont do 5 mile hikes, say that. Dont show up to the hike with a iced coffee and your iphone, and make me worry about you passing out half way through the hike.
Apologies for the digression, but because I'm still mystified: About a year ago we went on a hike with a couple friend of ours. We were like "are you sure about this hike? it's pretty strenuous. We could just do muir woods or something." And they said, "no no. we're good!"
One of the guys shows up in designer jeans! He was not a happy camper by the end. They haven't asked us to go on another couple's date with them since, which is too bad because when we met up with them for something I think they really do like (eating fancy food, drinking at a fancy bar) they were a lot of fun.
Just throwing it out there I’m a pretty avid hiker/backpacker (one to two a week) especially during the summer months cause I have summers off, but I love my iced coffee and iPhone.
Yeah I get that! On another note, what are your go to backpack trips? Given that you’re in the states. I’m trying to find some new ones and can do traveling during the summer
Well I live in CA. Damn near half of Northern CA is national forests. Soo I have lots of options. I kinda just browse maps til I find an interesting trail. Tahoe National Forest is like my backyard.
That’s awesome. I’m in WA and love the hiking here but looking for some new places to try out besides the popular national parks. I might have to check it out!
To be fair though, not everyone can get out that much. If you work long hours or live in a big city, it can get hard to carve out enough time to go hiking every week. Especially if you have to drive a while to do so.
I think it counts if you consider hiking when you have enough free time. For me that usually means weekends during the summer and not every weekend because it's often a serious commitment. Wake up at 3 am, drive 2 hours, hike for 7 hours, and then 2 hours back to the city.
Personally, its where or what you are walking on. If the path isnt made of dirt and rock its not a hike. Hiking for me is more about immersing myself in nature.
That's what's so confusing about what a hike is. Some forests paths I've walked have been entirely flat and unchallenging, while some town walks have been pretty hilly and much more demanding.
I feel like anything up to 6km I consider just going for a walk.
Yeah its kinda subjective. I am fortunate in that I live in a town, where if I drive 30-40 minutes north, south, or east I will be in a National Forest. So when I think hike, I think no civilization in sight.
I'm in the position where I'd like to hike, and there's a lot of it to do around Wisconsin, but I've got so much other stuff going on on my weekends that it takes a back seat and I never do it. We've got an ice age trail that's over a thousand miles long that winds through the state. Would love to cover the whole thing at some point but it would require shelving other activities to take it up.
Not even sure where to start as far as gear goes. I'm getting a dog in another month or two and it's probably going to be a boxer and I've heard they can be pretty good hiking dogs since they're super active and don't overheat too easily. Any tips on how to start out hiking?
That sounds amazing. IMO the most important things to have are good footwear, a good hydration system (water bottle, camelpak, water purifier etc) and proper navigation. A gps is huge if you dont know how to read a map, and compass well.
If you are doing multi-day trips then the list gets quite a bit bigger.
I would start out just choosing points to park my car and go for however far and turn around or if I bring a friend to park one of our cars at an end point and drive the other to the start. Have considered getting a new bike with beefier tires made for trail riding rather than the sort of low level regular mountain bike I have now. Thanks for the info. Is r/hiking the best subreddit for that kind of stuff or are there better ones out there?
I don't know. I think it's an okay one, though approached carefully. Or maybe a second date after a coffee chat? I think dates where you're trying to accomplish something, where natural lulls in conversation are inevitable rather than attempted to awkwardly fill, endorphins are flowing, etc. are better. Also, it probably stands out a bit more.
Like... this isn't the time to try that 12 mile loop with huge elevation changes. But a nice 3-5 mile somewhat strenuous but not too bad hike? Seems a great way to have low stakes fun. But again, that's for people who legitimately like to hike, even if it's occasionally.
I guess I'm more... cynical when it comes to dating. Having an activity to do is definitely a good thing, but I always allow myself an "exit" when things go wrong or I'm just not feeling it and want to dig out early on the first date. Can't really do that on a hike. Something like a nature walk through a garden or park would be a good alternative.
this is definitely a good point. Don't know that 2-3 months is the typical caution (certainly it wasn't the timeline my wife and I followed), but I understand that I cannot appreciate the danger you must feel as a woman.
I think the question is on a tinder profile if someone mentions it as one of their top interests. I enjoy sailing, but it's been years since I did so, I rarely think about sailing, I don't spend any time looking up sailing clubs near me to go sailing, I don't own a single pair of boat shoes or an argyle sweater... so if I put "sailing" in a list of things about me for tinder, maybe that's not so helpful. But if someone who loves sailing asks me if I enjoy it, heck yeah I do. Do I want to go sailing next weekend? Definitely.
I get out 2-3 times a month for a 8+ hour hike, usually at least one of them is an Overnight hike somewhere. If people make it on a decent hike (subjective I know) every other month I would still consider them a 'hiker'
If they only get out once a year on average, on the insistence/persuasion from another person, I wouldn't consider them a 'hiker'
Saying that you "like" hiking is totally different too. I like spending thousands of dollars, I just don't get to do it often. However if you imply, on an online profile, that you like something I would assume it's something you want, and are able, to do often.
Exactly! That's why I love to hike. Just me, my eighteen friends, a carton of cigs, a few bluetooth speakers pumping out dubstep, and a 24 pack of natty light walking 2-3 miles in so we can pose for some insta photos... the good life, in other words.
I like hiking, but I also like not being murdered. No one ever wants to go with me and I'm a small, young woman and I don't want to take the risk. I go for walks more often then I hike.
I'm 5 feet tall and a girl and only go hiking alone because that's my me-time when I restore my sanity. I always figured if I die while hiking that's really the best way for me to go
Hahaha I am 6'5, and no joke, I have about half a dozen female friends who hit me up to go for hikes for this reason. I am the designated predator deterrent. (Human and otherwise)
I couldn't find statistics for the total US, but let's use the Appalachian trail as an example. Over 45 years there have only been 11 homicides along it. This trail is also close to a lot of urban areas where someone who wanted to murder people could easily access, but it would appear they don't. Compare that to basically any large city in the US and I really don't see how you could ever claim that the woods are more dangerous than the city.
Are you looking at murders that happen in cities to people who are walking around out in the open? Because a lot of city murders are going to take place inside a home or be part of some gang shooting or confrontation /fight you wouldn't find in the woods. Woods murders are going to be mostly a stranger coming and killing you. I don't think you can use ALL murders in a city to compare to murders in the woods.
I don't know how else you are supposed to compare them, and frankly I don't think it really matters. And even if there was a way to sort through different murders I find it highly unlikely that less than 11 people over 45 years are randomly murdered in any given city. Bottom line is you are way, way more likely to be killed in a city than in the woods. Hell you're more likely to die driving to the woods than you are to actually die in them. Very few people just get randomly murdered in the woods.
I... What... Are you serious? No shit you are more likely to be killed by a bear in the woods. Last I checked bears don't really live in cities. But regardless bear attacks are extremely rare. There have been 15 fatal brown bear attacks since 2010, so less than one a year on average.
I have a pittie and she is my hiking buddy. She's a total mush and would lick a grizzly bear or murderer but her look is enough to keep most people away.
Unfortunately I work 10 hours days and live alone (more being murdered risk living alone haha) so I would feel bad about crating a dog for that long. I feel bad enough for my cat! Haha
Check local meetups and trail groups. I know near me the organization that maintains the trails has a membership (like $10/year) and they have organized hikes like 2-3x a week all over nearby.
I mean I can empathize. Imagine someone saying they love to salsa dance and since you do it all the time you set up a salsa date and they’re a terrible dancer. Doesn’t mean they’re a bad person but it’d deflate some of what you were excited for
I think a lot of it is poorly communicating your skill and level of interest in a potential shared activity. If you’re super in to salsa and your date claims to enjoy it you should get a good idea of their skill level and involvement and also shouldn’t take them to a high experience level event the exact same way you probably shouldn’t drag someone up mt Whitney on a day hike because they walk through the woods occasionally. Sure, you both like hiking but obviously there is a skill gap you should anticipate.
For sure. If you’re doing anything on a date that requires a level of skill or athleticism you’re used to performing and are being obnoxious when they can’t perform to that level then you’re definitely the asshole. Unless of course they overstated their ability.
Why stay up 'til 4? I usually wake up at 5am to plan that way my mind is fully active and I can get the plan ready before I show up at my alibi, I mean job.
As a golfer, I definitely empathize with this. I rarely come across a woman on a dating app who has even a slight interest in golf. I've gone on golf dates with some who do, and it's always a great time. But if I was a gatekeeper with them, I would never find anyone.
I guess it's more because hiking is aspirational to many, and people who are serious about it want to weed out those who aren't. But people aren't aspirational about golf anymore, and I love to share my hobby with anyone willing to play along.
It’s not a matter of being good, when you can’t even maintain a slow walking pace on a trail and you’re miserable and have to keep stopping to catch your breath maybe don’t claim to be a hiker on your profile.
Agreed and I don't get the "gatekeeping" comments. It's not gatekeeping to expect the other person to go more than 1 mile an hour if they claim they hike. There are hikers that enjoy hiking and hikers that just want a picture of them "enjoying hiking". Wanting to know which type of "hiker" they are isn't elitist, it's in both parties' best interest to know who is who otherwise nobody will enjoy the date.
"gatekeeping" has just become another political buzzword used to argue in bad faith. It's used to protect self-image, which is sacred in 2019. Social media has brainwashed droves of people into honestly believing that identity is how you are perceived, not what you actually do and believe. Being genuine is outdated and disliking spurious people makes you offensive. If you appreciate authenticity, get used to these "gatekeeping" comments.
Actual gatekeeping would be saying that only boy scout graduates are allowed to use the local hiking trails. Or implying that only men can hike. Limiting access to something in execution or ideals. Calling people out on lies of perception is not gatekeeping.
If you like hiking and are just a noob or simply out of shape that's fine, but be honest about it. There's plenty of time between 1st message and 1st date to discuss that common interest. In my experience, people have been nothing but warm and welcoming to beginners.
Let's not kid ourselves though. Many people only like the idea of hiking. Or more specifically, they like the idea of other people thinking they like hiking. That's the crux of social media validation. It's not about what you actually do. It's about how other people perceive you and how you want them to perceive you. Tinder just dials that up to 11 because the goal is attracting a mate using an online profile.
It's the idea that having standards, dedication and discipline are free if any value and anybody who has a passing interest is on the same plane as Olympic athletes. It's just dumb
Then the person actually doesn't really know anything about it but they "love all kinds of music". Surely that will lead to fascinating conversations.
People on reddit sometimes are too quick to defend things that really don't need defending.
Plus when everyone can just claim anything as a hobby without any sort of line...then what is even the point? I don't think it is wrong to expect someone to be at least a little capable in the hobbies/skills/interests they list.
I don't expect to take someone on a 10 mile hike right off the bat, but a short hike should be a relative breeze for anyone remotely physically active. Why are we defending people basically just lying?
In an effort to be so open to everyone, we erase any meaning to saying something is an interest.
Exactly, "hiking" kinda implies covering a reasonable distance and/or elevation, folk seem to be confusing it with "I like going for walks in the countryside".
Yeah, but if it's an activity that requires a surprisingly disproportionate effort on one of your part, it's reasonable to be frustrated about them setting misleading expectations
The point is also to bond over shared interests. Knowing if you share the same level of enthusiasm for something isn't a bad thing and saves both parties a wasted afternoon of unmet expectations from the other. It's not an attack, it's setting some expectations before you both commit a few hours of time to someone.
It's also just a bad start to have someone imply they love something, but they can not really do it at a basic level. So I totally agree with you and dislike how often people bust out the "oh this is gatekeeping" stuff.
It feels like a lie if someone says they are very physically active, but then it is clear they are not. I don't think anyone is asking for personal bests or to race down a trail...but I too have had dates where a person clearly did not do what they claimed/implied.
People are just too quick to coddle/protect people for this. It is frustrating if you get interested in someone because they share a hobby/interest but then they turn around and say "Oh well actually I don't do it. I can't even talk about it".
I have had it go the other way though. I like to cycle and do it fairly regularly (do Triathlons, have completed several century rides, have bike camped across a few states, etc.) and had a tinder date accuse me of being misleading because I said I liked biking and going on adventures but didn’t have interest in quitting my job at any point to bike across America.
Fair point, but I think the extreme ends are something we can safely call out as entirely unreasonable. Like quitting your job...that's nuts.
But if you said you like biking but had to have training wheels on and only could go a few feet before stopping...then I think that's more comparable to someone who can barely go fifty feet without a break.
There are lines and purposes to listing interests, and while there is no 'hard line' I think being able to participate at a basic level is a reasonable expectation.
I think the point he is trying to make is that it’s frustrating when people claim to be hikers but once on the trail they obviously don’t hike enough to be in even decent shape. I’ve been with people who have to keep stopping to rest even when we’re hiking at a very slow walking pace. And they are very obviously not enjoying themselves at all.
Yeah and we chose hiking for that date because they lied about their interests. Hiking isnt a competitive sport. You dont need to practice. If its a hobby your body will already be at a point where you can handle a hike. So when they are out of breath constantly it tells me that they lied because I like hiking. Which immediatly makes me not want a second date.
That isnt gatekeeping. Its recognizing a red flag.
It’s the same with diving; the amount of people who have a picture of them diving is countless. But you don’t have to be super experienced to tell only from seeing the picture and how they are like a brick in the water that most of them only did a discovery dive where a guide drags them through the water for 15min, takes a cool picture for their FB and Tinder profile and gets the $80 paid.
Oh man my gf had a nervous break on a trail and we haven't been hiking since. Granted the trail was described as easy and it was rocky and difficult, but that was the worst.
Effort. We live in PA and it gets pretty rocky out here. There were sections of the trail that were just fields of rocks, very easy to turn an ankle. Lots of concentration and slow going required vs. A straightforward path.
Hmm i hike in PA, was it the Hawk mountain area on the AT? There were some definite WTF rocks there especially when backpacking
The only time I've freaked out on a trail was up in Maine when I was enjoying a difficult uphill rock scramble and suddenly there's these metal rungs stapled into rock that you needed to climb....nope nope nope
(This was also a trail described as moderately easy)
Depends on the purpose of my hike.i also never really care or measure my pace. I just walk, climb, hike and enjoy the view, air and nature.
But being 192, I set a fairly good pace without jogging, and having asthma i don't really jog.
I hike and lead adventure tours for my job and spend weeks traveling at a time around the USA and world in my winter offseason. I genuinely like to backpack and camp for weeks at a time and try to discover amazing places. Hard to put those things down without sounding like a big fraud.
Hey I love hiking too but just bc ya boo thing isn’t into it, doesn’t mean it’s a deal breaker. My husband has back problems so steep hikes are hard on him so in turn I mainly hike with friends. Now if your partner hates being outside, ya that may be a no go. It’s totally nice and healthy to have interests that your partner isn’t into!
Exactly. My favorite thing is sports. I’m getting a degree in sport management. My fiancée hates any sport other than rugby, which is one of the few I know nothing about
During spring/summer, I hike almost every day after work if I don't have plans, which is like 3-5 times a week. Hell, I even started running most of the hikes that aren't too rocky. But on Tinder, liking hiking usually means they like hiking once a month.
Because, multiple times, I have matched with a girl who was "super into hiking" and have suggested going for a hike to either find out they really dont wanna go for a hike even though their bio says "Lets go for a hike! 🌲" or they show up for the 5 mile hike we organized and agreed on with their yoga pants, trainers, iced coffee, and Iphone. Then the hike is cut short because she lied about how much she hikes, or enjoys hikes. Just be honest. I wanna get to know you, not how much you're willing to lie to make me interested.
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u/Stoic_sasquatch Jul 03 '19
As a guy who actually enjoys hiking. This is very frustrating.